


Tattered And Torn

by partyghoul



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2017-11-18 10:54:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 131,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/560249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/partyghoul/pseuds/partyghoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Known as the scapegoat to the majority of the school, Gerard was always the loner. He was the kid who never got invited to parties, the one no one ever talked to, the one who was never given the chance to socialize. Between sneering peers and a malicious teacher, he learned to blend into the background and accept his fate as an outsider. He had given up hope on ever finding a friend... until Frank came along, changing both their lives, forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I've Just Seen A Face

**Author's Note:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "I've Just Seen A Face" by The Beatles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've just seen a face,  
> I can't forget the time or place  
> Where we just met, he's just the guy for me  
> And I want all the world to see we've met  
> Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm mmm mmm
> 
> Had it been another day  
> I might have looked the other way  
> And I'd have never been aware  
> But as it is I'll dream of him tonight

 

Gerard sighed as the bell rang, signaling the end of third period. He watched as everyone shuffled out, then slipped out of the room, last, as usual. Pressing his books close to his chest, he walked through the halls quickly, head down, avoiding as much eye contact as possible. It was junior year, and he _still_ couldn’t stand most of the people at his school. _‘Why should I,’_ he thought bitterly, _‘when they treat me like dirt, aside from Ray and my brother?’_

  
As Gerard turned the corner, he hit what felt like a brick wall, sending his books flying everywhere. “What the fuck?” He blinked a few times and saw a small kid kneeling on the ground, hurrying to pick up his books. “Oh… dude, are you okay? I’m sorry, I-” Gerard didn’t get to finish what he was saying because the kid stood up, handed him his books, and scurried away. He was pretty sure he’d never seen him before; even though Gerard blended into the background, he still knew just about everyone in the school. He shook his head and continued on down the hall.

  
Gerard made his way to his next class — history. _‘Thank God my brother’s in the same class as me,’_ he sighed to himself. _‘If I had to be stuck with people I can’t stand all day, I swear I’d go nuts.’_ He quickly ducked into the classroom, which only had three or four kids in it, including Mikey, who always got there before Gerard.

  
Mikey took his folder off of the desk he was saving for Gerard and decided he couldn’t wait for him to sit down before he started talking. “Hey, Gee. Did you know Ray’s throwing a party this weekend? Are you gonna come?”

  
Gerard blinked. “Ray? A party?” he asked, a bit surprised. “Well, he’s our friend, so I guess, yeah…” Gerard took his seat next to his brother and lowered his voice, not wanting any nosy peers butting into the conversation. “What’s the occasion?” he asked.

  
Mikey rolled his eyes. “It’s just a party, no occasion. Just say you’ll come and actually socialize.”

  
Gerard shot Mikey a look. “I’ll go, but I don’t see why I have to talk to a bunch of people I don’t like,” he grumbled.

  
“Because you might meet someone. Ray’s inviting that new kid; he seems pretty cool.”

  
Gerard blinked. “New kid? What does he look like? Kind of shortish… black hair?”

  
Mikey raised an eyebrow at his brother. “Uh yeah, he takes band with Ray and he said he’s into the same stuff we are, so he invited him. Why? Did you meet him yet?”

  
“Kind of,” Gerard replied with a shrug. “If I didn’t then I’ll meet him at the party.” He sighed as the teacher walked into the room. “I want it to be lunch already,” he grumbled as he pulled out his textbook.

  
Mikey spent the entire period flicking bits of paper at Gerard and once the bell rang, he shot out the door to find Ray, leaving Gerard alone for lunch yet again.

  
Gerard sighed and collected his books. _‘Even my own brother ditches me,’_ he thought miserably as he made his way outside. He sat himself at a table by the side of the school, looking at the fountain that sat in the middle of the yard.

 

* * *

Frank didn’t make friends too easily; partly because he was shorter than most seventh graders, mostly because he was kind of a pain in the ass. He knew this, that’s why he was so excited when he met Ray on his first day. He thought he’d have someone to eat lunch with, but he was nowhere to be found. Frank adjusted his bag on his shoulder and looked around the courtyard. Every single table was full… except for one. He spotted the kid he bumped into earlier in the day and decided he’d try to make amends. He walked up and sat down next to the greasy haired teen. “Hey, sorry for hitting you earlier, man. I’m Frank,” he extended his hand, hoping for a friendly handshake.

  
Gerard twitched and looked up at Frank in surprise. “Err, uhm… that’s okay…” he mumbled, a bit confused as to what to say. He reached out and awkwardly shook Frank’s hand. “Uhm, I’m Gerard,” he replied, not completely sure what to do. This Frank kid wasn’t familiar at all… was this the new kid? “Hey, uhm,” he started, “Are you… are you new here? I haven’t ever seen you around before…”

  
Frank laughed and rolled his bag onto the ground next to him. “Yeah, just started today, dad got a new job and well, you can figure the rest. I like it here though, a lot better than my last school… except for the uniforms.” Frank knew he was rambling, but he was too excited to be having an actual conversation to care.

  
“Wait, wait, this school is better than yours?” Gerard interpreted, raising an eyebrow. “Dude… the people here _suck_.” He pulled his legs up to his chest and sat hunched, a bit uncomfortable in the position he was in. He sighed and looked at Frank. “What year are you?” he asked, deciding to try and keep the conversation going.

  
“Sophomore, I skipped a few grades in elementary school. What about you?” Frank couldn’t help but to smile nonstop, he really liked this guy.

  
“Uhm, junior,” Gerard replied, shifting a bit. “You’re like my brother; he skipped a few grades, too. He’s also a sophomore.” He wasn’t exactly sure how to react to Frank — he seemed fairly high energy and had a huge grin on his face. _‘Smile back?’_ he asked himself. Gerard tried to, but it came out as an awkward grin. “U-uhm, so…”

  
Frank cleared his throat, sensing Gerard’s awkwardness. “So… I uh better get going to class… I don’t wanna be late my first day… so… see ya.” Frank grabbed his bag, stood up, and turned to walk back to the school building.

  
“W-wait!” Gerard called. “Aren’t you going to eat?” _‘Does this kid realize we have a half hour worth of nothing until the next class?’_

  
Frank stopped and turned back to face Gerard. “I uh… well I planned on buying my lunch today but everything has meat in it and I’m a vegetarian so… no, I guess I’m not,” he said as he shifted anxiously from foot to foot.

  
Gerard blinked and pulled out his lunch. “Uhm, well, I bring lunch from home…” he explained, “I can share if you want…”

  
Frank chewed on his lip, debating. He was hungry, but he didn’t want to take food from someone he didn’t know… “Nah, man, you don’t have to do that, it’s not a big deal…”

  
“No, really,” Gerard insisted, “I pretty much never finish eating my food. I don’t eat a lot.” He felt bad; it felt like he was pushing Frank away, and, though it was somewhat awkward, he was new, after all, and he seemed to really want a friend. _‘And Mikey’s right,’_ he sighed to himself, _‘I do need to try and socialize more…’_

  
Frank smiled and sat back down next to Gerard. “Thanks, man.” He felt like such an idiot, such a pest, but if the guy was going to insist, he was never one to turn down food.

  
“I-it’s no problem,” Gerard replied as he pulled out his food, handing some to Frank. “So, uhm… how, uh… how have your classes been?”

  
“Boring as fuck, the only good class I have is band, and I have religion right after this, so looking forward to that,” Frank rolled his eyes as he picked at the food.

  
“Ugh,” Gerard grumbled, “why do they even teach that? It’s so boring. And I could just go to church if I wanted to listen to them talk about Jesus and God and stuff all day.”

  
“I know, right? Shit, not like my mom ever lets me miss a single mass, now I gotta deal with this crap every day.”

  
Gerard sighed. “Yeah… and I think it just makes this kids around here even shitter,” he pointed out. “It’s like they hear it being preached all day to the point that they convince themselves the teacher is talking about them or something…”

  
“Really? Are the people here that bad? I’ve only talked to a few…”

  
“When you get shoved around and have stuff thrown at you and you’re called every name in the book… yeah.”

  
“Shit.” Frank set down his food. “This is gonna be rough, isn’t it? I mean, I got picked on enough at my last school, and the people were halfway decent.”

  
“Just don’t say anything and you’ll be okay,” Gerard sighed. “Admit anything about your personal life, and you’ll be judged by it forever.”

  
“Did you say anything to get judged?” Frank didn’t want to seem like he was nosy, but he was curious. _‘What could anyone have on this guy that was so horrible?’_

  
Gerard shifted a bit uncomfortably, feeling slightly embarrassed. “It was just stupid stuff,” he grumbled. “They said this fashion statement was cool, I said it looked dumb. They said that band was the shit, I said that band _was_ shit. They went and said that anyone who wasn’t straight would burn in Hell, I said they had a better shot at burning in Hell than I did.” He shrugged, feeling this throat begin to swell up from thinking too much.

  
“Oh… well fuck ‘em, right? You’re just too cool for them!” Frank smiled at Gerard toothily.

  
Gerard bit back a sarcastic laugh, not wanting to be rude. Instead, he smiled awkwardly and said, “I wouldn’t call myself cool. I’m a loser, and I know it.”

  
“Hey, man, if I say you’re cool, I mean it.” Frank looked up at the clock and sighed, realizing it really was time to go.

  
Gerard shrugged, still giving an awkward smile. _‘Wow, I forgot how to smile,’_ he told himself. _‘Pathetic.’_ He saw it was time to go, and gathered up his things. “Uhm, so, Frank…” he started, “Uh, I’m going to Ray’s party this weekend…  you planning on going?”

  
“Yeah! Of course! I love parties.” Frank picked up his bag and smiled at Gerard, not wanting to part ways.

  
Gerard stood up and looked at Frank. “Alright, uhm, cool.” He shifted his feet awkwardly. “So my brother and Ray and I were all gonna hang out after school… do you maybe wanna join?”

  
Frank couldn’t hide his excitement at the invitation. “Really? I’ve got nothing going on, I mean… yeah, sure!” He felt like such an idiot, he shouldn’t be _this_ eager to hang out with Gerard, but, he couldn’t help it.

  
Gerard smiled shyly, a bit amused by Frank’s excitement. “Alright, uhm… we always meet up by the big oak out front, near the sign,” he explained. “I guess I’ll, uh… see you in a few hours then?”

  
“Yeah totally,” Frank waved at Gerard as he ran back inside the school. He only had two classes left before school let out and he couldn’t wait to get them over with.  
Gerard made his way to his next class, feeling a bit more uplifted. _‘Did I… just make a friend?’_ he asked himself when the realization finally hit him. He shrugged it off as he entered the classroom, but even though it was another long class ahead of him… he couldn’t help but feel a little happier for the rest of the day.

 

 


	2. I'm The Kind To Sit Up In His Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm the kind to sit up in his room  
> Heart sick an' eyes filled up with blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Bad Thing" by Jace Everett

As soon as the final bell rang, Frank was rushing to his locker to dispose of his books. He tried to keep it cool as he waited by the oak tree; he didn't want to seem like the annoying, desperate new kid, but he wasn't very good at playing it off. He kept looking around for any sign of Ray or Gerard, and couldn't help but get nervous when they still hadn't got there after five minutes.

  
Ray was making his way to the oak tree when he spotted Frank standing there, looking restless and constantly twitching. He raised an eyebrow and walked over. "Hey Frank," he called, "you waiting for someone?"

  
"Yeah, Gerard said to meet him here after school... he invited me to hang out with you guys. Is that okay? I mean, if it's not I can just go home. It's no big deal..."

  
Ray looked at Frank in surprise. " _Gerard_ invited you?" he repeated. Just the sound of the sentence didn't sound right. But he shrugged, not wanting to think on it too much. "It's fine, I don't mind you hanging out with us," he finished.

  
"Really? Cool. But yeah, Gerard invited me. Is that weird or something?"

  
Ray shrugged, looking around him a little bit. "He's not a very... social person," he explained.

  
Meanwhile, Gerard had made his way through the crowd and finally reached the exit of the building, blowing out an exasperated sigh.

  
"He seemed pretty social to me... Oh, look, there he is," Frank said, pointing towards Gerard and smiling.

  
Ray blinked and looked over to the school. "If you say so," he concluded, taking note of Frank's excitement over Gerard. Gerard looked up to see Frank pointing at him with a huge smile on his face, and gave another awkward smile in return. _'I need to work on this,'_ he thought to himself. _'My smile probably makes it look like I'm in pain.'_ He quickly made his way over to the tree. Ray nodded, and Gerard nodded back. "Hey, Ray. Frank."

  
"Hey, Gerard! Where's your brother? I thought he was coming too?"

  
Right as Frank said this, Mikey crept up behind Gerard and gave him a little push in an attempt to scare his big brother. Gerard fumbled forward, colliding into Frank, causing Ray to laugh, while Gerard's face burned in embarrassment.

  
Frank smiled and nudged Gerard back onto his feet. Mikey was rolling with laughter and could barely stand up straight. "So," he said in between breaths, "You guys ready to go?"

  
"I'm ready when you guys are," Ray replied, still laughing a bit.

  
Gerard stood up stiffly, staring down at the ground, his face still burning. "Yeah. I'm ready I guess..." he mumbled. Frank only nodded awkwardly, afraid he might say something wrong at any moment.

  
"Toro, you driving?" Mikey put a hand on Ray's shoulder and gave him puppy dog eyes. He really hated driving. No real reason for it, but Mikey really wanted Ray to get behind the wheel.

  
Ray sighed and smiled, unable to resist Mikey's pleading look. "Alright, alright, I'll drive," he answered, pulling out his keys. He beckoned for the others to follow, "C'mon, guys, my car's over this way."

  
Gerard rolled his shoulders a bit and started to head that way, looking up to see if Frank was following. Frank followed directly behind Gerard, keeping such a close distance that he kept stepping on the back of his shoes. "Shit, sorry…"

  
Gerard stumbled a bit every time it happened, but he simply shrugged and said, "Nah, it's alright."

  
When they reached the car, Gerard instinctively climbed in the back, which was his usual spot, while Ray made himself comfortable in the driver's seat. Mikey shouted, "Shotgun!" and jumped into the seat next to Ray. Frank didn't complain as he got into the car, plopping down next to Gerard.

  
Gerard got himself comfortable in the back seat, and almost swung his feet onto Frank's spot like he usually did. He stopped himself and shifted a little more. _'I'm not used to sitting in the seats with someone... wow.'_  


  
Meanwhile, Ray turned on the car and started backing out of the parking space. "Everyone got their seatbelts on?" he asked, "I don't need a ticket."

  
"Yes, Toro. Drive already!" Mikey always got so annoyed when Ray asked if they had seatbelts on, they weren't five anymore for God's sake. Frank sat with his bag on his lap, looking awkwardly around the car as if waiting for someone to strike up some kind of conversation. Ray shot Mikey a look and grumbled a bit, making his way out of the parking lot.

  
Gerard could sense Frank's apprehension and awkwardness, so he decided to try and start up a conversation. "U-uhm, so, uh... how was... everyone's day?"

  
Frank was about to talk when Mikey cut him off, "Well, dear, it was shit, just like every other day, how was it down at the factory?" Mikey turned around in the seat and made a cutsie face at Gerard while batting his eyelashes.

  
Gerard shot Mikey a menacing glare. "Sheesh, someone's in a sarcastic mood today," he growled.

  
Ray sighed and rolled his eyes. "Can you guys go for _one ride_ without arguing?"

  
Mikey huffed and turned back around while Frank fought hard to contain his laughter. Gerard pulled his legs up to his chest and pushed himself into the corner of the seat, letting out an annoyed sigh.

  
Ray gave his own tired sigh in response. "I was _joking_ , Gee, lighten up."

  
Frank couldn't stand the awkward silence that followed, so he unbuckled his seatbelt and scooted closer to Gerard before poking him in the ribs and smiling. Gerard jumped unexpectedly when he felt Frank poke him. He had started going off in his own world, so he hadn't been paying attention. He shot Frank a glare a first, but his expression immediately changed to confused and curious when he saw the younger teen smiling at him.

  
"You need to lighten up, Gerard." Frank kept poking Gerard in the side. "Are you ticklish?"

  
"I'm fine," Gerard mumbled, squirming a bit. "And yeah... why...?"

  
Ray bit back a grin -- he had a feeling he knew what Frank was going to do.

  
"Just wondering..." Frank began poking Gerard in his sides quicker, trying to find the right spot to make the older boy burst into laughter.

  
Gerard started to squirm more. "H-hey! Stop!" He blushed a bit and tried getting away, which was hard since he was already in a corner.

  
Frank scooted closer to Gerard, tickling him furiously, smiling as he did so. "Come _on_ Gerard! It wouldn't kill you to laugh!"

  
"No! Stop!" he gasped, biting back giggles as Frank tickled him. He tried to shove Frank away, but he was so much stronger than him.

  
Frank pushed forward onto Gerard, pinning his arms down with his upper body as he continued to tickle him. "Laugh or I'm not gonna stop!"

  
"N-no!" Gerard shouted as he started to laugh, squirming underneath Frank's strength. He suddenly felt himself start to blush a little more.

  
"Let it out Gerard, don't hold back!" Frank began to run out of breath as he tickled Gerard with all he had.

  
"Frank, stop it!" he gasped between breaths, laughing hard and struggling to push Frank off, trying to squirm away with no prevail.

  
Frank squeezed Gerard's side one last time before backing off of him, a little sweaty and out of breath.

  
Gerard pulled himself up, panting from the sudden use of energy. He wiped a bit of sweat off of his forehead, and kept his head ducked a bit as he realized he was blushing hard. _'Wh-why am I blushing?'_ he thought to himself, alarmed.

  
Frank smiled, feeling victorious when he looked over and saw Gerard trying to hide his face. _‘What a weirdo,’_ he thought.

  
Ray finally pulled up to Gerard and Mikey's house. "Alright, you two," he said, looking at Frank and Gerard from the rearview mirror. "We're here."

  
Mikey jumped out of the car and ran to unlock the front door while Frank grabbed his bag and stepped out of the car awkwardly. Gerard made his way out of the car, stumbling slightly, still a bit breathless, while Ray got out with ease and made his way to the door with Mikey.

  
When Mikey finally unlocked the door, he swung it open and stepped inside, flopping down on the couch. "Ahh, home sweet home." Ray laughed and rose up Mikey's legs slightly, then sat down on the edge of the couch, letting the teen's feet back down. Gerard made his way into the house, looking back to see if Frank was following.

  
Frank walked in behind Gerard, trying to maintain a distance. He looked around the house, taking in his surroundings. Everything in there was so _weird_... so very unlike his own home.

  
Gerard leaned up against a wall. "So, uhm... are you hungry or anything?" he asked, not sure of what to do.

  
Frank looked at Gerard and smiled. "No, just thirsty, you got any coke?"

  
"Uhm, yeah," Gerard answered before turning towards the hall that led to the kitchen, "Here, follow me." Frank set down his bag on the floor and followed him into the kitchen.

Gerard opened the fridge and rummaged around for a few seconds, then pulled out a cold can of coke, and handed it to Frank. "Here ya go," he said, his fingers already freezing.

  
Frank took the can and opened it, chugging half of the soda down in one gulp. "Thanks, man," he said, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

  
Gerard blinked and nodded. "No problem," he replied. He yawned and stretched a bit, feeling worn out from the day and the events in the car.

  
Frank chugged the rest of the drink down and tossed the can into the trash. "So uh… what do you guys usually do?"

  
Gerard shrugged as he glanced towards the living room. "Honestly, we usually just sit around and talk. Ray and Mikey eventually go off and do their own thing, and I go to my room and rest or draw..."

  
"Well as fun as watching you lay on your ass and drawing sounds, how about we watch a movie?"

  
"Well, uhm... okay... what do you have in mind?"

  
"Anything really, I love horror movies though!"

  
Gerard squirmed a bit -- he wasn't big on horror films. _'But Frank's the guest,'_ his mannerly thoughts reminded him. "Well, I mean, Ray and Mikey are probably already talking and everything, so, uh... we have a TV down stairs, and I guess you can pick out a movie from down there?"

  
"Okay!" Frank waited for Gerard to lead him downstairs. He vaguely wondered if Ray and Mikey had a thing together, but it was mostly in the back of his mind because he was more focused on Gerard at the moment.

  
Gerard walked to the door that opened up to the staircase, and lead Frank down into the basement. He flipped on the lights and sat down on the couch, and nodded towards a shelf full of movies. "Take your pick, I guess," he instructed.

  
"Okay…" Frank walked over to the shelves and looked at the numerous titles. He finally decided on Dawn of the Dead and tossed it to Gerard before sitting down on the couch.

"Can't go wrong with a classic."

  
Gerard stared at the movie for a few seconds, feeling nervous... he didn't have a strong taste for horror. He sighed to himself and turned on the TV, then popped the movie in and sat back down, shifting his feet anxiously. Frank saw Gerard fidgeting and became worried. "Are you okay?"

  
"What? Y-yeah," Gerard replied, trying to steady his voice. "I'm just scared easily..." He shifted a bit and looked away, feeling a little embarrassed.

  
Frank couldn't help but to laugh; it wasn't because he thought Gerard was stupid, he just thought it was really cute that he was scared. "Well, don't worry. I'll protect you from the evil zombies."

  
Gerard looked at Frank and forced a nervous smile. "Th-thanks," he muttered, blushing just barely. He felt strangely comfortable around Frank...

  
Frank returned the smile and then turned his attention to the movie. Gerard sat quietly, watching the screen. At one part Gerard yelped quietly and jumped a bit, then looked down in embarrassment. _'I'm being so pathetic,'_ he thought to himself. _'It's just a movie...'_  


  
Frank pretended not to notice Gerard freaking out and kept his stare at the screen while nonchalantly reaching over and taking Gerard's hand in his own as a form of comfort.

Gerard turned slightly red when Frank took his hand, and shifted over towards him. He was avoiding looking at the screen for half the time, mostly enjoying Frank's company.

  
When the movie was done, Frank turned towards Gerard and smiled. "Did you like it? I mean... even if you're not into horror flicks, it's pretty decent."

  
Gerard smiled back and nodded, "I-it was pretty good," he agreed, but he hadn't even paid much attention to the movie. The whole time he felt somewhat distracted... but he couldn't figure out why.

  
"So…" Frank looked around the room, not sure what to do. "What do you wanna do now?"

  
Gerard shrugged, looking at the time. "I dunno... it's about five now... uhm... well, uh, is there anything _you_ wanna do?"

  
Frank's eyes widened when he realized what time it was. "Ah, fuck, I should be going, still gotta help my parents unpack and everything… but uh thanks for having me over."

Frank let go of Gerard's hand and stood up to leave.

  
"O-oh, uhm, okay..." Gerard replied with a hint of disappointment. "Uh, it was no problem... maybe we could, uhm... hang out again soon?" He got up and shifted his feet shyly.

  
"Yeah, totally!" Frank smiled before heading up the stairs and picking up his bag.

  
Gerard smiled and followed Frank up the stairs. He looked the couch to see that Ray and Mikey had fallen asleep. He sighed to himself softly. Frank laughed when he saw the two guys asleep, practically on top of each other on the small couch. "Well... uh, see ya at school." Frank opened the door and stepped out.

  
"U-uhm, yeah, see you," Gerard answered, doing his best to give another smile. Frank smiled brightly before turning and starting his journey home.


	3. Call Me Your Names, Make Them Stick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At least I don't fit in.   
> Corner me in Chemistry.   
> It's all just simple math to me.   
> Call me your names.   
> Make them stick.   
> I'll laugh until I am sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Chemistry" by Jawbreaker

Gerard adjusted his backpack slightly as he entered the school building. He walked to his first class, wondering if Frank was in any of his classes today.

  
Frank was sitting in the chemistry lab, waiting for the rest of the class to come in. He always got to school early so he knew he would be on time for at least one class. He got out his notebook and sighed as people started to file into the lab, not yet recognizing anybody.

  
Gerard slipped into chemistry – the one class he couldn't stand. The teacher seemed to hate him, and of course... all the students seemed to despise him as well. To top it off, he barely understood the subject, with all the different elements and shit. He kept his head ducked down, not wanting to make eye contact with any of his peers.

  
Frank's face brightened when he saw who he thought was Gerard – he couldn't really see his face so it was hard to tell – but he decided to risk the embarrassment and reached out to put his hand on the stranger's shoulder. "Gerard?"

  
Gerard jumped and looked up to see Frank. "Frank! You have chemistry with me?" Gerard's face burned slightly when he asked that, his mind thinking other things. _'No no no, shut up, stop thinking about that!'_ Gerard scolded himself.

  
"I guess so... I mean, I have chemistry right now and it looks like you do too so..." Frank couldn't wipe the smile off of his face, he was so happy to have someone he knew in the same class as him, and even more happy that it was Gerard of all people. "Uhm... do you wanna sit by me?"

  
Gerard smiled. "Uhm, sure!" he replied, sitting next to Frank and setting out his stuff. He shifted his feet a bit. "So, uh... how good are you with chemistry?"

  
"Not too bad, I mean... I'm not really good at anything but I'm not a total dipshit I guess."

  
Gerard shrugged. "Well... I hope you're better than me..." he muttered. "I won't be much of a good partner. I-I mean lab partner."

  
Frank laughed at Gerard's mistake. "Don't worry, I got your back." He blushed and looked down to his notebook, trying to seem busy so Gerard wouldn't notice how red he was. Gerard grabbed his notebook and pencil and started to doodle, trying to distract himself from his jumbled feelings. The teacher was _always_ late... which was good for most of the kids in the class, but had absolutely no benefit to Gerard.

  
When the teacher finally arrived to class, he set his papers down on his desk and stared out at the students. "Mr. Way! You better be working on chemistry, because if you're not, put it away and stop messing around." Frank stopped looking at his notebook and stared at the teacher in disbelief. _'Why is he picking on Gerard? I was doing the same thing,'_ he thought.

  
Gerard looked up and glared at the teacher. "Okay, Mr. Sherwaul," he growled as he stuffed his drawing notebook into his bag. The class seemed to snicker at Gerard while he obeyed. He gave a quiet sigh... just another school day.

  
The rest of the lesson went in basically the same fashion; the teacher would speak for a bit and ask Gerard if he got the notes, then give him an evil look. By the time class let out, Frank had a shitlist with Mr. Sherwaul's name at the top. Frank gathered his books and waited for Gerard in the hall after the bell. Gerard shoved his stuff into his backpack and scurried out into the hall before Mr. Sherwaul could harass him anymore. He stood next to Frank, head down, his muscles tensed. _'That had to have been the most embarrassing thing ever...'_  


  
"Why is that guy such a dick to you? You did nothing wrong!" Frank didn't know why he was so mad about what happened in class, but he was furious as hell.  
Gerard shrugged, "I guess he just wants someone to pick on, and he chose me... kind of like everyone else."

  
"Well, I don't fucking get why everyone picks on you! There's no reason for it! You're awesome and they're just assholes!" Frank took a deep breath to calm himself. "I'm sorry I'm so worked up. I just hate that shit. Are you ok?"

  
Gerard looked at Frank, shocked. "Well, I mean, I just... I-I dunno..." No one had ever said anything like that to him. "I... I'm okay..." he replied in almost a whisper.

  
Frank sighed and looked up at the clock. "Okay… well, I gotta head to English, I guess I'll see you at lunch?"

  
"Yeah, sure," Gerard replied, shuffling his feet shyly. Frank smiled at Gerard before turning around and heading down the hall.

  


* * *

  
Gerard made his way out to the courtyard, settling himself by the fountain. Usually he'd just pull out his lunch and eat... but this time he just sat and looked around, waiting for Frank. He'd packed a little extra in his lunch, in case Frank needed to share again. He looked down at his feet. _'Why am I thinking about Frank so much?'_  


  
Frank stepped outside, took off his jacket, and untucked his shirt. He hated the fucking uniforms. He looked around and saw Gerard sitting by himself and smiled brightly while walking towards him. He sat down and pulled out a brown paper bag containing his lunch. "Hey..." He wasn't sure what to say after how he acted earlier, he was sort of embarrassed.

  
Gerard looked up at Frank and smiled -- a _real_ smile. It wasn't even awkward at all... which was kind of weird, but whatever. He saw Frank had his own lunch, so he shrugged and took out his own food. "Hey, Frank," he responded. "How was English?"

  
"Boring as fuck. They got us reading _Gone with the Wind_." He took out his vegan salad and started picking at it. "How was... whatever class you had?"

  
Gerard started nibbling on his sandwich and laughed. "I had Algebra 2 / Trig," Gerard explained. "It was boring too; not too hard, but boring."

  
"Fuck, I hate math." Frank wasn't really sure what to say. For once in his life, he was at a loss for words, and for no good reason, so he just stared down at his food and continued to eat.

  
Gerard laughed a little more. "Well, it's not the most interesting class, that's for sure," he admitted. He looked at Frank, a bit confused as to why he was being so quiet – usually he's the one who would be talking most of the time. "Are you alright?"

  
Frank looked up at Gerard. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine..."

  
Gerard wasn't so easily convinced. "A-are you sure?" he asked, worried. "You seem a lot more quiet than usual..."

  
"Yeah, man, I'm fine; just don't know what to say." Frank smiled brightly, hoping to reassure Gerard.

  
Gerard smiled back. "If you say so," he replied, giving Frank the benefit of the doubt and continuing to eat. He wasn't completely sure what to say either, so he sat quietly, enjoying Frank's company.

  
Once Frank finished his food, he stuffed the bag into the trash can and looked around, unsure of what to do. "So... there's that party tomorrow and I don't really have a ride... do you, um, think you could give me one?"

  
Gerard looked up at Frank with surprise. "Uh, y-yeah! Uhm... I have the car today, too, uh... I dunno if you have plans after school..."

  
"Awesome! And I never have anything going on after school, so if you wanna do something, that's fine." Frank couldn't stop smiling.

  
Gerard shuffled his feet. "Yeah, sure. I have some money on me, so I was planning on going somewhere to eat... uhm... do you have any places in mind?"

  
"Well, since I just moved here I don't really know places so wherever you wanna go is fine."

  
Gerard shrugged, blushing a bit. "O-okay... I'll try to find a place that has good vegetarian meals, too," he added. It was time to head to the next classes... but Gerard didn't want to leave Frank.

  
"Okay." Frank stood up and shouldered his bag. "Uhm… I can walk you to your next class since they're close... if you don't mind, that is. I mean..." Frank bit his lip and tried not to seem so nervous.

  
Gerard shuffled his feet, "Uh, s-sure. I don't mind... I'd like that."

  
"Cool," Frank said as he went towards the building and held open the door for Gerard while smiling nervously.

  
Gerard smiled and nodded. "Thanks, Frankie," he said, as he turned his face, trying to hide his blush. _'Frankie?'_ he thought to himself. _'What the hell?'_  


  
Frank's stomach fluttered when Gerard called him that, he thought it was so cute. He kept close to Gerard's side as they walked down the hall and stopped before they reached the classroom door. "This is it, right?"

  
Gerard nodded shyly. "Yeah... this is it," he confirmed. He looked up at Frank and smiled. "I guess I'll, uhm... see you after school," he whispered.

  
"Yeah… I'll be by the tree again." Frank's mind raced as he leaned forward and caught Gerard in a hug. He immediately realized what he was doing, blushed a bright red, and stopped what he was doing. "Uh... sorry," was all he said before quickly turning around and hurrying off to his next class.

  
Gerard blushed as he watched Frank rush off. He stood there for a few minutes, feeling a bit dizzy, his body feeling warm all over from the hug. He shuffled into his next class, and for the rest of the day, he didn't catch a word the teachers said.


	4. Late Dawns And Early Sunsets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late dawns and early sunsets, just like my favorite scenes  
> Then holding hands and life was perfect, just like up on the screen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville" by My Chemical Romance

By the time school ended, Frank was way too anxious to get outside. He threw his books into his locker and walked out to the tree, waiting for Gerard.

  
Gerard bounded out the school, bumping into a few people here and there. Even though they growled "Hey, watch it nerd!" and "Loser!" and all that, Gerard didn't notice, or care; he was too excited to see Frank. He quickly made his way down the stairs and rushed over to the oak tree, smiling and waving at Frank.

  
When Frank saw Gerard he started bouncing on his feet. "Hey, Gerard! Ready to go?"

  
"Yeah!" Gerard answered happily. It was weird; he was never this happy. He pulled out his keys and started towards his car. "C'mon, it's over this way!"

  
Frank stuffed his jacket into his bag as he followed Gerard through the parking lot. Gerard unlocked his car and jumped in, starting it up and waiting for Frank. Frank threw his bag into the backseat and got in the car. "So, where to?"

  
"Uhm, well," Gerard started, "I was thinking maybe Olive Garden or something. It's pretty decent. But only if you want to."

  
"That's fine, never been there." Frank smiled and buckled his seat belt. Gerard pulled out of the parking lot, and started to drive. He bit his lip nervously, the silence starting to become unnerving.

  
Frank sensed Gerard's awkwardness and leaned forward to turn on the radio. "Do you mind?"

  
"Huh? Oh, no, I don't mind," Gerard answered, keeping his eyes on the road nervously. _'Does this count as a date?'_ his thoughts randomly asked. He blushed slightly and shook the idea from his mind. _'We're just going to dinner as friends... Come on, Gerard, get it together!'_  


  
Frank stared out the window and tried to seem normal. He zoned out and didn't notice that he had begun to nod his head and sing along with the music. Gerard smiled and glanced over at Frank. He went back to focusing on the road, listening to Frank sing. He started to hum along with the music as well. When the song reached the crescendo, Frank became rather loud and realized that he was singing. He stopped abruptly and blushed. "I'm sorry, that was obnoxious."

  
Gerard smiled. "No, no, you're really good!" he encouraged. "You're a great singer, Frank..."

  
"Ha, thanks..." Frank stared back out the window. "So, uh, how much further?"

  
Gerard looked around at the road signs. "Just a few more minutes," he answered, smiling at Frank.

  
"Okay." Frank returned the smile and lay back in his seat, enjoying the ride.

  
Gerard pulled up to the restaurant and sighed, noting how crowded it was. "Do you wanna wait," he asked, "or do you wanna go do something and maybe come back a little later...?"

  
"Hmm...we can do whatever you want, I'm in no hurry."

  
Gerard licked his lips nervously and shifted in his seat a bit. "I guess we can maybe go driving for a while," he shrugged. "I could show you around town if you'd like."  
Frank's face lit up at the idea. "Yeah! I haven't really gone out much since I moved here!"

  
Gerard smiled. "Okay!" He got back on the road and pointed out various places to Frank. For the next few hours, they drove around, Gerard pin pointed historic places, areas he had good and bad experiences at, city highlights, and tons of other things. By the time seven o’ clock rolled around, Gerard was nearing the restaurant again. "You wanna eat now?" he asked.

  
"Yeah, man, I'm starved." Frank couldn't help but feel like this was a date; it wasn't though... right?

  
Gerard smiled and pulled into the parking lot. The crowd had died down, from what he could tell. He turned off the car, got out, and bounded over to Frank's side and opened the door for him. Frank blushed and got out of the car, mumbling a quick "thanks," to Gerard.

  
Gerard gave a shy smile and walked in with Frank. The hostess greeted them and gave them an odd look, but led them to a table and gave them their menus. Gerard opened his and started to look over the options. "Honestly..." he whispered to Frank, "I've never been here before... I just asked Mikey for suggestions, and he said to go here." He shifted his feet shyly. "I've never really gone to a restaurant like this before..."

  
Frank didn't take his eye off the menu. "Really? Why not? It seems like a decent enough place."

  
Gerard shrugged. "I've never had anyone to go with," he admitted.

  
"Well, thank God I came along, huh?" Frank finally decided what he wanted and set down his menu and smiled at Gerard.

  
"I'm glad I met you..." Gerard admitted shyly, putting down his menu as well, shuffling his feet a bit.

  
Frank was about to say something when the waitress came and interrupted him. They gave their orders and Frank tried to look anywhere but directly at Gerard. He didn't want to seem rude, he just knew that it was clear that he liked Gerard and staring at him would only make it more obvious.

  
Gerard looked down to the ground nervously as he waited for the food. He was hoping Frank wasn't looking at him or wondering why he was so shy... He shuffled in his seat, trying to figure out his feelings with himself. _'Wouldn't he find it weird? Does he feel like this is a date, too? Oh, God, what if I'm weirding him out. What if he's sticking with me because he's desperate? What if he doesn't feel the same?'_ Gerard pulled himself from his stressful thoughts and slowly looked up to Frank.

  
Frank could feel Gerard's eyes on him so he finally decided to risk a look. _'Oh, fuck he's so attractive. Why is he looking at me like that? Can he tell what I'm thinking? Oh fuck fuck fuck.'_ Frank's mind was racing and he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks, causing him to turn red. "Uhm..."

  
Gerard began to blush too. "Uhm..." he cleared his throat, trying not to give himself away. "S-so, u-uhm..." He shuffled his feet nervously, his mind starting to go blank. He was saved by the waitress coming back with their food. Gerard nodded a thanks and immediately began to dig in, trying to avoid any awkward conversation.

  
Frank stared for a few more seconds before giving in and starting to eat. The food wasn't _bad_ , but it wasn't anything compared to his mom's cooking. He was so hungry that he finished eating way before Gerard and was left feeling awkward yet again.

  
When Gerard finally finished his food, he realized Frank had been sitting and waiting for a good ten minutes, feeding the awkward. When the waitress came to clean and ask if they wanted dessert, Gerard declined, not wanting to have to sit around in silence for any longer. He glanced at Frank with a questioning glance. _'What if he wants dessert?_ '  
"I'm _way_ too full to fit another ounce in me." Frank smiled at the waitress and waited for her to leave.

  
The waitress nodded and took the check and the money. "Keep the change," Gerard had said. He sat up, shuffling his feet a bit, and glanced up at Frank. "U-uhm... are you ready to go...?" he asked quietly, keeping his face down.

  
"Yeah," Frank said as he stood up, brushing crumbs off his shirt as he did so. "Thanks for dinner..." He felt bad for Gerard paying but he didn't have a dollar to his name; he felt like such an ass.

  
Gerard nodded, giving a shy smile. Frank looked a bit guilty about not paying, but Gerard didn't mind – he _did_ say he had money. And _he_ invited Frank to dinner.  
"So, uhm... ready to go...?" he asked quietly.

  
"Yep, after you," Frank smiled and made a cheesy grand gesture with his arms, motioning towards the door. Gerard giggled and walked out of the restaurant, then towards the car, pulling out his keys. The sun had set, and the moon was starting to rise.

  
"Woah, Gerard! Look at the sky!" Frank couldn't help but to get excited at such a beautiful sight, it was simply breathtaking and even just a little... romantic? No, he shouldn't really be thinking that.

  
Gerard smiled, looking up to the sky. He started walking closer to Frank as they made their way to the car, to the point that the two brushed shoulders, making Gerard blush.  
"Hey, Gerard... could we maybe just sit on the hood and watch the sky for a while? I mean... we don't have to..." Frank bit his lip and tried not to notice how nice Gerard's body heat felt.

  
Gerard shifted a bit and blushed, looking down at his feet shyly. "S-sure," he agreed. "I'd like that..." He looked up at Frank and smiled.

  
Frank returned the smile, hopped onto the hood of the car, and lay back, resting his head on his arm. Gerard climbed on top and lay next to Frank, relaxing with his arms folded across his chest neatly.

  
"Oh! Gerard, give me your keys! I know what will make this even better!" Frank sat up and waited for Gerard to hand over his keys. Gerard looked up in surprise, and handed Frank the keys. _'What's he going to do...?'_ he thought to himself.

  
Frank rolled off the hood, unlocked the car, and turned on the radio. Once he finally found a good station, he turned the volume up enough so they could hear it – but not too loud – and laid back on the hood, closer to Gerard this time. "Perfect," he said with a smile.

  
Gerard closed his eyes and smiled as the music played. He felt his heart beat faster when Frank laid closer to him.

  
Frank stared at the sky for a while before looking over and seeing Gerard with his eyes closed. _'Wasn't the point to look at the sky? I'll make him open his eyes...'_   Frank was feeling more confident for some reason; he wasn't sure why. Scrounging up his fleeting confidence, Frank leaned up and over Gerard, careful not to touch him until he wanted to, and leaned down and kissed him, ignoring the panic signals in his brain.

  
Gerard's eyes shot open with surprise as his face went red. He felt himself become breathless as his eyelids fell heavy and closed, soaking in the feeling of Frank's lips against his. He reached up and put a hand gently on Frank's arm, feeling his heartbeat flutter.

  
Frank kissed him for only a moment longer before going back to his place on the hood – he didn't want to push things too far. Plus, he was light headed already. He smiled to himself and stared at the sky in a daze.

  
Gerard kept his eyes closed for a minute, then slowly opened then. He turned his head slightly to look at Frank. The way he laid there so calmly... the way he smiled... Gerard looked away, blushing more. He slowly slid a bit closer to Frank, and brushed his hand up against the other teen's, while keeping his eyes to the sky.

  
Frank held Gerard's hand in his own and just thought about how perfect this all was. He didn't really feel nervous anymore, he felt... well he wasn't sure, but it was good. He looked at the sky, occasionally glancing at Gerard, and waited for the moon to fully rise. Gerard moved a little closer to Frank from time to time, staring up at the night sky in a daze. He was a bit dizzy... but at the same time, he felt so comfortable. He felt the heat of Frank's body brush against his own, and his hand in the others'. Time seemed to stand still as he lay there next to Frank.

 


	5. Words I Thought I'd Never Speak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I see you lying next to me   
> With words I thought I'd never speak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Famous Last Words" by My Chemical Romance

Frank yawned and squeezed Gerard's hand. "Think we better go? It's kinda late…"

  
Gerard blinked, calling away the daze. He lay silent for a few moments before whispering back, "I-I guess so..."

  
Frank sighed and sat up; he didn't really want to go, but his mom would kill him if he got home too late. He released Gerard's hand and got into the car reluctantly. Gerard climbed off the hood and got back into the driver's seat, not sure of what to say. He started back down the road, the radio quiet, as the orange-yellow glow of the lights illuminated the streets.

  
Frank leaned back in his seat and sighed again. "Gerard?"

  
The light turned red. Gerard slowly looked over to Frank as the car sat, stopped. "Yes, Frankie...?" he whispered, his nickname slipping out again.

  
"I just... wanted to say thank you for, you know, everything. Thanks for not being a dick to me and just... yeah, thanks." Frank blushed and stared out the window, pressing his forehead against the glass.

  
Gerard blushed and looked down, then looked back up as the light turned green. He continued down the road, which had grown quiet, with a car here or there passing occasionally. "No problem..." Gerard replied quietly. "Thanks for being there for me... and talking to me... and dealing with my pessimism..."

  
Frank half-laughed, half-snorted. "You need to give yourself more credit."

  
Gerard giggled a bit at Frank's laugh; it was _really_ cute. "I-I dunno... I've just... always been really bitter... and socially awkward..." He gripped the wheel as his head started to spin, remembering them meeting. "A-and yet... you just... you came up and talked to me like... like I was just some other person... like I-I wasn't some freak..."

  
Frank turned and looked at Gerard, a serious expression on his face. "You are not a freak! Why would you say that? You're funny, and really giving, and fuck, you're attractive. Stop saying that shit about yourself because you _know_ it isn't true."

  
Gerard felt his focus start to falter a bit when Frank was saying this, and whimpered a quiet "H-hold on" before pulling to the side of the road. He let out a long, pained breath, laying his head on the steering wheel, hands still gripping it tightly. "I-I just..." he choked on his whisper, fighting back tears. "I-I... no one... no one has ever said anything like that about me... no one has ever said anything good about me before..." He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to hold back tears, only to fail miserably. "I'm just not sure I can believe that..." he choked out as a few tears began to fall.

  
Frank couldn't believe what he was hearing. _'Why are people so fucked up? Why can't he just realize how amazing he is?'_ Frank unbuckled his seat belt and leaned over and hugged Gerard tightly. "Please believe me, I wouldn't lie to you; there's no reason for it. You're great and you just need to get that into your head." Frank felt weird sharing this moment with Gerard after only knowing him a few days, but it also felt okay, almost like it was perfectly normal to have such strong feelings for someone after such a short time.

  
Gerard wrapped his arms tightly around Frank, pulling him close and burying his face into his shoulder as he cried softly. He felt horrible for throwing this on Frank... but he also felt comfortable in being able to share his thoughts with him. Only days before, he'd sit alone and think to himself of all he was told, but he could never talk to anyone about it... and eventually, he accepted what people said about him as truth. But Frank... he never said a bad thing about him, not once. He was always complimenting him, always making Gerard feel better...

  
Frank didn't know what to do except for hold Gerard while he let his emotions out. He kept whispering things like, "You're amazing; you're incredible. You just need to accept it." He wasn't really sure what he could do to make Gerard feel better.

  
Gerard sat and held Frank a bit longer, until his sobs died down and he was left sniffling quietly. He rested his head on Frank's shoulder and opened his eyes slowly, gazing at the empty road with the pale lights and the moon hanging high. "F-Frank...?" he whispered, his voice hushed.

  
Frank was in a sort of trance and barely heard Gerard talk. "Hmm?"

  
He was going to say "Thank you", but instead, he whimpered, "I-I love you..."

  
Frank's eyes widened at Gerard's words. "I-uhm..." He was speechless, he tried to talk, but his tongue felt swollen and couldn't form words, so he just hugged Gerard even tighter and tried not to start crying himself.

  
Gerard rested his eyes, holding onto Frank, the radio quietly playing music as though nothing out of the ordinary was occurring. The occasional hiss of a car would pass by, but Gerard simply stayed there and held onto Frank, feeling his sorrows fade as comfort sat in.

  
Frank kissed Gerard's neck lightly before resting his head on his shoulder, suddenly feeling very exhausted. Gerard sat there a few minutes, steadying his breathing, before asking, "When you do have to be back home...?" His shoulders felt heavy and his head was spinning slightly, but other than that, he felt like he could manage to drive Frank home.

  
Frank sighed and pulled back and buckled his seat belt. "Soon, I guess… it's almost past my curfew..." He didn't want to go home and sit in his room alone all night, but his mom was going to kick his ass if he was late.

  
Gerard nodded and started up the car again, driving Frank home the rest of the way silently. It wasn't an awkward silence... more of a comforting one. Nothing needed to be said; it had already been spoken, and the quiet was the reassurance that nothing had been held back. Gerard pulled into Frank's driveway and pulled his car to a slow stop. He looked down for a moment, then to Frank. "D-do you want me to walk you to your door...?" he asked softly.

  
Frank blinked a few times, unsure of how to answer. "Uhm...well you don't have to, I mean... if you want, you can but…"

  
Gerard steadied his gaze, looking at Frank softly. "I will if you want..." he whispered.

  
"Okay... then come on." Frank smiled as he undid his seatbelt and stepped out of the car. Gerard got out of the car and stumbled a bit. He didn't realize just how exhausted he was... he lightly grabbed Frank's hand and lead him to the door, standing on the patio for a few minutes, looking down at their hands quietly.

  
Frank bit his lip and looked around before tilting Gerard's chin up and kissing him lightly. "So… thanks again..."

  
Gerard blushed shyly and gave a small smile. "No..." he whispered, "Thank _you_... for everything..."

  
Frank simply shook his head and reached in his pocket for his keys before unlocking the door. "Goodnight. See you tomorrow?"

  
Gerard nodded silently, looking into Frank's eyes. "Tomorrow," he whispered. He dragged his gaze away reluctantly and made his way back to the car. He looked up and watched Frank close the door behind him, and stood there a few minutes in the silence, as the tree frogs and crickets chirped quietly in the small neighborhood, the rooftops bathed in moonlight. Gerard eventually got in the car and slowly pulled out, the concrete crackling with loose gravel under the tires as he made his way back home.

 


	6. Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm the only friend that makes you cry   
> You're a heart attack in black hair dye   
> So just save yourself and I'll hold them back tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back" by My Chemical Romance

Frank spent the entire day thinking about the party. It was his first social outing since moving, and he didn't want to fuck it up. He couldn't decide what to wear, but eventually stuck to his normal ripped jeans and white v-neck. When it got closer to party time, he sat near the window, looking for any sign of Gerard.

  
Gerard threw on an old band shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans, and headed downstairs, meeting up with Mikey. "Mikey," he called, "We need to go pick up Frank."

  
"Hold on! I need to find my phone!" Mikey looked in between couch cushions and under tables, but there was no sign of the damned thing anywhere. Gerard huffed and helped look around for Mikey's cellphone; he _always_ seemed to misplace it.

  
"FUCK YES! Found it! Okay, we can go!" Mikey shoved his cell in his pocket and walked out the door.

  
Gerard hurried after. "Wait! Who's driving?" he asked, closing and locking the door behind him.

  
"You are, idiot, I don't know where the midget lives." Mikey jumped into the car and buckled his seat-belt. Gerard bit back a snappy retort; his brother had a way of having a sense of humor that was a little too rude for his taste. He sighed and got in the car before starting to drive.

  
Mikey just texted the entire ride there and didn't even notice when Frank got in the car, completely ignoring his "Hey, Mikey!" Frank just sat in the back and kept quiet, assuming Mikey was already starting to find him annoying. Gerard smiled at Frank, and gave Mikey a look, sighing to himself. His brother seemed to be distancing himself from Gerard, almost...

  
He drove everyone to Ray's house, where a good ten cars were already parked. Mikey put his phone in his pocket and stalked into Ray's house to look for beer, not even giving Gerard a time to meet up. Frank popped out of the car, looking around excitedly. He _loved_ parties, even if no one ever paid much attention to him unless he was drunk and making a fool of himself.

  
Gerard got out and locked the car, feeling a bit hurt as he watched Mikey leave without so much as a "Thanks." Not even a glance. He looked over to Frank. "Ready?" he asked, feeling a little happier upon seeing Frank's eagerness.

  
"Hell yeah!" Frank wanted to hurry into the house, but slowed down his pace so he didn't ditch Gerard in the process.

  
Gerard followed Frank from behind, feeling just a little nervous. He'd never been to a party before. Usually, if he was invited, he'd say he was sick or grounded or one of the cliché excuses. He wasn't even sure what you even _do_ at a party.

  
When Frank walked in the door he saw about thirty people already half-drunk and dancing. He loved the atmosphere and couldn't wait until it got even better. He spotted the keg and started to make a bee-line towards it before remembering Gerard. "Hey, you want a beer?"

  
Gerard tensed up. He wasn't much for following rules, but he'd never once contemplated taking a swing of alcohol. He shrugged. "Is it any good?" he asked.  
"It tastes like shit but if you get drunk enough not to notice, it becomes your best friend."

  
He didn't care for the thought, but Gerard didn't want to feel left out with Frank. "U-uhm, sure, I guess," he muttered, following Frank through the crowd.  
Frank smiled and got two beers, handing one to Gerard. He chugged his and went for the second when he noticed Gerard hadn't even taken a sip of his. "What's wrong?"  
Gerard shuffled around nervously. "I-I've just never drank beer before..." he admitted. "I'm just a bit... apprehensive is all, I-I guess..."

  
"Ah," Frank said, biting his lip. "You don't have to drink if you don't want, it's not like anyone's judging you."

  
Half of him wanted to take that offer and just leave the beer, but the other half of him was curious to try it. He looked down at the beverage, then slowly brought it to his mouth and took a small sip. He pulled back and almost spit it out, forcing himself to swallow it down without gagging, and coughed when he finally could get breath. He cringed; it tasted _awful_.

  
Frank burst into laughter. "Oh, God, Gerard just set it down," he said between laughs.

  
He looked down, his cheeks burning from embarrassment. "N-no, it's fine... I just need to get used to the taste... the after taste isn't so bad," he lied. It tasted disgusting; but he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Frank.

  
Frank rolled his eyes and took the cup from Gerard's hands and chugged it. Gerard tried to object, but Frank downed the liquid before he could get a single word out. He sighed quietly to himself. Frank smiled and grabbed Gerard's hand, leading him outside. "Let's go see what's going on out back." Gerard didn't object, letting Frank lead him, blushing a bit at the feeling of the other teen's grip holding his hand tightly.

  
Outside there was a large fire with about ten people sitting around it, smoking and talking. Frank found two chairs on the side and plopped down in one, enjoying the warmth. Gerard grabbed the other and sat close to Frank, making sure not to leave his side. He hated feeling clingy... but his brother had already ditched him. He didn't want to be left alone at an event he was unfamiliar with.

  
Just a few minutes later, some blonde chick with too much makeup on and _way_ too much alcohol in her system came and sat down on Frank's lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. His eyes widened, caught in complete surprise.

  
"Hey, cutie," the blonde giggled, "I haven't seen you around... didja just arrive?" Gerard felt himself tense with jealousy. He wanted to chase her off, but... what if Frank thought she was hot? The idea of it crushed him. He watched, emotion stirring inside of him as the girl leaned into Frank, unwrapping one of her arms from around his neck and setting it on his thigh.

  
"Uh… yeah, just moved here..." Frank didn't want to be rude, but this chick had some serious space issues and he didn't know how to politely tell her to get lost.

  
She giggled the same annoying, high-pitched sound. "Nooo silly, I meant the _party_." She pressed herself closer to Frank, running her other hand through his hair. "You're kinda hot..."

  
Gerard gritted his teeth. He wanted to say, _'Yeah, and he's **mine**!'_ but... he couldn't. He didn't own Frank... but the anger was gnawing inside him.

  
Frank flinched when she touched his hair. "Yeah, I just got here with a friend actually..."

  
_'Friend'._ The moment Frank said that, Gerard felt devastated. He wasn't even sure why. He wanted to yell at the girl for flirting with Frank, yell at Frank for just calling him a "friend", and cry because... well, he wasn't sure. He got up out of his chair and made his way back to the house, not bothering looking up once.

  
Frank wanted to stop Gerard, but the girl was pushing him down too much and he couldn't get up. _'Why did he leave? Maybe he just went to the bathroom.'_ Frank decided not to think too much on it and figured he went off to do his own thing, not like he was obligated to hang out with him.

  
Gerard walked back inside the house and tried to find a place away from the people. While wandering, he ran into a few guys from school... guys who didn't particularly like him. They singled Gerard out and headed towards him, obviously too drunk to think.

  
Meanwhile, the girl continued to flirt with Frank. "You're really, really hot," she said. "Like... you're sexy." She planted a sloppy kiss on Frank's cheek.  
"Ugh! Thanks, but I really should be going, my friend..."

  


* * *

One of the guys put a hand on Gerard's shoulder from behind. "Hey, faggot`," he sneered. Gerard spun around, surprised, and shrunk back into himself when he saw who it was. The other guy walked around behind him, surrounding Gerard from the front and back.

* * *

The girl planted another kiss onto Frank's lips, obviously too drunk to listen. Frank struggled under the girl and cursed his small frame. "Look, get off me. I don't want to be a dick but I _really_ don't want to do anything with you, so, please…"

  


* * *

"Wh-what do you guys want?" Gerard asked, trying to sound menacing, but coming out sounding like a scared child.

  
The guy from behind pushed him and snickered. "We saw you with your little _boyfriend_ in the hall yesterday," he sneered.

  
"Yeah," the one upfront chimed in. "The short one with a big anger problem. He was cuddling you and shit."

  
"How cute," the first guy laughed. Gerard's face burned red with embarrassment and anger.

* * *

The girl pulled back again and pouted, batting her eyelashes. "Oh who cares about that nerd?" she huffed, "He's just some weirdo loser. You should hang out with cool people..."

  
"Fuck! That's it! I tried to be nice, but you don't seem to want to fucking listen!" Frank shoved the girl off of him and watched her fall on her ass. "You may think you're hot shit but the minute you insult my friend is the same time I deem you a stupid skank!" Frank ignored the glares he was getting and stomped off to find Gerard.

* * *

The guys closed in on Gerard as he tried to get away, the first guy grabbing Gerard's shoulder. "Where do you think _you're_ going, Way?" he snickered. The second guy shoved his shoulder into Gerard roughly, knocking him back a bit.

  
"Look, just fuck off," Gerard growled, already tired of everything that had happened.

  
"Where's your little boyfriend now?" the second guy jeered, shoving Gerard down to the ground. Gerard tried to pick himself up.

  
"He's **_not_ ** my boyfriend," Gerard snapped, feeling a twinge of hurt upon saying that.

* * *

As he searched for Gerard, Frank saw some guys fucking with someone towards the back of the house and decided to investigate. When he neared the fight, he saw Gerard on ground, looking both pissed off and extremely hurt. "Hey! What the fuck is going on here?" Frank shouted and squared his shoulders, trying to look bigger than himself.

  
Gerard spotted Frank and looked away, trying to pull himself up. The first of the two bullies looked up and saw Frank. "Oh look," he teased, leaning down and getting in Gerard's face, "it's your little boyfriend coming to rescue you."

  
Gerard had had enough. "He's not my fucking boyfriend, you asshole!" he shouted and swung a fist, hitting the guy square in the nose. Gerard pulled back, not even completely sure of what he'd just done.

  
The second guy bared his teeth. "You little shit--!" Frank didn't even think before ramming the second guy into the wall, throwing punches as he went.

  
Once that guy finally gave up, unable to match Frank's energy, Frank turned around and stared at the one Gerard had punched. "You wanna fucking go, too? Or are you gonna take what's left of your pride and get the fuck out of here?"

  
Gerard finally got up to his feet and stumbled back a bit. The guy he punched held a hand over his nose. When he brought it away from his face, both his hand and his face were covered in blood. He shot a quick glare at Frank and lunged at Gerard. Before he could dodge, the guy grazed Gerard's cheek with a punch, sending him stumbling backwards against the wall.

  
"You dumb son of a bitch," Frank jumped on the guy's back and started punching. The bully tried to throw Frank off, but he had a strong hold on him. Frank pulled on his shoulders until he started to fall backwards. Once the guy was on the ground Frank jumped on him and continued to hit him until he was looking dizzy and someone was shouting, "Please, stop, oh my God!"

  
Frank looked up and saw a crowd of people around him, causing him to stop completely and stand up, out of breath. Gerard was at the back of the crowd, unable to see Frank at all. He had a hand on where his cheek had been hit, and a few people that he hadn't seen before – he guessed they were older or younger siblings of some of his peers -- were by his side asking if he was okay. Gerard wasn't even sure what to say; he was dizzy and felt sick, and everyone was crowding around, just causing confusion.

  
Frank kicked the guy in the side for good measure and made his way through the crowd, looking for Gerard. When Frank spotted him, he grabbed his hand and rushed outside where no one was around. "Are you okay? I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner, I'm sorry this happened! Fuck! I-"

  
Gerard pulled his hand away and turned slightly, not facing or looking up at Frank. "I'm fine," he muttered coldly, still having those weird feelings.

  
Frank sighed heavily. "Look, I'm sorry if you're pissed at me for whatever reason, but I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you. I just beat up two guys who I didn't even know just because they were fucking with you!" He didn't mean to raise his voice, but he was still running on all that negative adrenaline.

  
"Nothing's wrong!" Gerard shouted back, spinning around and facing Frank. "Not a single fucking thing! I'm just dandy!" His voice was heavy with sarcasm. "Why don't you just go hang out with one of your other 'friends'?! I mean it's not like I'm anything fucking special!" He shook as he yelled, a part of him hating himself with every word. _'He never said you were special,'_ a thought pointed out, causing more hurt in Gerard then a hundred blows from that guy could have. He turned away and fixed his gaze on the ground.

  
"I... Gerard, come on. What other friends? One drunk girl throwing herself at me doesn't exactly make her my friend! Why are you acting like this? I didn't do anything wrong..." Frank was so confused, he doesn't go around kissing, comforting, and beating up assholes for just anyone, why was Gerard acting so fucking weird?

  
"Oh, I'm sure you have plenty of friends!" he yelled, fighting back tears again. "A bunch! Do you hold their hands and give them that puppy dog look and have them pour out their feelings to you too?! Because that's all we are! **Friends**!" Gerard's head was spinning, and he could feel angry tears threatening to fall. He held them back with all he could, refusing to look Frank in the eyes.

  
Frank was in shock. "Is that what this is all about? Just because I called you a friend? Jesus, Gerard! We just met! What am I supposed to call you? You can't get all pissed at me for something like that! It's not like we ever _talked_ about it!"

  
Gerard turned away from Frank, feeling his heart twist in pain. _'I know,'_ he thought. _'I know we didn't... but hearing it hurts. Because I love you.'_ Of course, he wasn't going to say that out loud, and instead stood there, his cheek throbbing, head turned away from Frank, gazed fixed intensely to the ground.

  
"Are you going to talk to me or not?" Frank desperately wanted him to say something, wasn't sure what exactly, just... _anything_.

  
Gerard wanted to talk, but when he tried to speak, his voice failed him, at least not without tears, which he fought to keep from bursting out. He hurt all over, physically and emotionally... he wanted Frank to hug him again... to hold his hand and smile at him, just like he did before... but Gerard couldn't just say "I want you to comfort me from yelling at you." No. It didn't work that way.

  
Frank swallowed the lump in his throat. "Fine, if you're going to be that way... just.... fucking _fine_." Frank turned around and walked back into the house without another word.  
Gerard wanted to go and grab Frank's arm, but he couldn't... he couldn't get himself to do it. He stood there, frozen, listening as Frank walked off, every step feeling like a kick in the chest.


	7. Do You Realize?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Do You Realize?" by The Flaming Lips

When Frank got back into the house, he could feel everyone's eyes on him. He tried to ignore them as he made his way right for the keg, making the decision to drink until he couldn't think anymore.

* * *

Gerard slid unnoticed into the house and made his way to the upstairs, which seemed to have no one there. He found the guest bedroom and closed himself in it, climbing up onto the bed. He sat there for a few moments, then brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face into them, breaking out into a quiet sob.

  


* * *

Frank drank all night, completely ignoring everyone around him. By the time the party was over, Ray suggested he spend the night and he was too drunk to object. He complied and slowly made his way upstairs and walked into the first room he saw before falling onto the bed without another thought.

  


* * *

Gerard had gone into the bathroom for some tissues to try and blow his nose and wipe his eyes, as well as to try and calm himself. Halfway through, when he thought he was finished, his thoughts became malicious and turned against him. _'It's your fault if you lose him.' 'This is why you don't have friends.' 'You're selfish and self-centered.' 'And you actually questioned why people hate you, when you made a good example of what to hate out there.'_ Gerard's shoulders felt heavy as he made his way out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. It was dark, so it wasn't too easy to see. He made his way over to the bed and sat down on the edge, his head throbbing.

  
Frank was fast asleep the minute his head hit the pillow, but he was snoring loudly from having fallen on his chest, therefore compressing his breathing.

  
Gerard's muscles tensed when his ears adjusted. With the music being so loud, he'd practically gone deaf; his ears were ringing for half the night. He sat stiffly on the bedside, not wanting to see who was snoring and lying in the bed. He tried to get a more comfortable grip of the bed, but his hand slipped and he fell backward, sending him sprawling onto the mattress.

  
Frank felt Gerard fall onto him and mumbled, "Ugh, get the fuck OFF." He was still mostly asleep and had no idea who was in the room with him.

  
Gerard gave a small yelp and scrambled to get away, almost tumbling off the bed in the process. He curled up in a tight ball at the edge of the mattress and closed his eyes... That sounded a bit like Frank... but he wasn't sure. Whoever it was... Gerard hoped he wouldn't find him in the morning.

* * *

Frank felt the sun shining on his face when he woke up, his head was pounding and he didn't _dare_ to open his eyes yet. He stretched his arms and legs and felt his foot touch something when he slightly kicked. "What the fuck?" He opened his eyes and couldn't see anything except for a huge lump at the edge of the bed.

  
Gerard let out a small yelp and twitched a bit. He'd woken the moment he felt something touch him, and he didn't even want to entertain the thought of moving. He sat still, fear creeping up his spine as his heart pounded and his head began to spin.

  
Frank sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to regain his sight. After blinking a couple dozen times, he could finally see again. He scooted towards the edge of the bed and poked the person's back. "Hey, man, wake up."

  
Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and tried to steady his breathing. It was Frank. _'And the moment he figures out it's me,'_ he thought, _'is the moment I get my ass handed to me.'_  
Frank grunted in frustration and started shaking the person on the end of the bed. "Hey! Wake up!"

  
Gerard let out a whimper and started to shake. He moved himself slightly in hopes that it would be enough to satisfy Frank and make him stop.

  
Frank sighed and stood up too quickly; causing his head to rush and making him fall back down on the bed. "Oh, fuck me..."

  
Gerard lay still, trying to stop himself from shaking, but failing at it horribly. He still had his eyes shut; he couldn't bear the thought of looking Frank in the eyes before the younger teen gave him a swift punch in the face. _'You deserve it,'_ his thoughts hissed.

  
"Sorry, dude." Frank said to no one in particular before he got back up again, slower this time, and made his way to the bathroom. He'd never had to pee this bad in his life.  
When he could hear Frank leave the room, Gerard fumbled out of bed and made his way down the stairs; he wanted to get as far away from Frank as possible. As he reached for the doorknob, an unsettling thought crossed his mind: _'Where's Mikey?'_  


* * *

Once Frank was done in the bathroom, he went back into the room and found no one there. _'Huh, weird,'_ he thought.

* * *

Mikey had passed out on the front lawn in a pool of beer and had just woken up, but couldn't be fucked to move.

* * *

Gerard stepped back from the door, not completely sure of what to do. Should he look for Mikey? Should he go get Frank? Just leave? His head was spinning from waking up, and his headache from last night was still raging on.

  
Frank stumbled down the stairs, looking for anyone else who might be awake and sober enough to drive him home. He fell down the last three steps and just laughed at himself until he saw Gerard standing in the middle of the living room. He shut up quickly and did his best to stand up and look like he wasn't experiencing the worst hangover of his life.

  
Gerard, who had his back turned to Frank, stiffened immediately, his heart pounding in his chest. He started to shake again, regardless of how hard he fought to control it.  
"Uhm, Gerard?" Frank had to focus on making the words come out right.

  
Gerard tried to steady his breathing. "Frank...?" he answered, his voice shaking.

  
"I know I shouldn't be asking this but… could you take me home? Please?" Frank felt like such a dick for asking Gerard to do something for him after last night, but he was desperate.

  
Gerard swallowed hard... He was still scared as hell, but it seemed like, for the moment, Frank wasn't angry. "S-sure," he answered, his voice still shaky.  
"Thanks..." Frank made his way past Gerard and out the front door, heading for Mikey. He only knew where he was because he had passed out long before Frank. Mikey was leaning against the car, texting, as usual.

  
Gerard walked to his car silently, keeping his head down the whole time. He climbed in without a word and turned on the car. Mikey got into the passenger seat and leaned back before passing out again. Frank climbed in the backseat and tried not to look as guilty as he felt. Gerard started towards Frank's house in silence. He was only half-focused on the road, his thoughts and emotions taking up half of his attention.

  
Frank wanted to say something, but he didn't know what so he just resorted to his usual fall-back of looking out the window silently.

  
Gerard continued to drive, his emotional and mental conflicts getting worse. It was like his thoughts were fighting with each other, fueled by emotion. He gripped the wheel, trying desperately to keep from swerving or speeding.

  
Frank could see Gerard's pained look in the rear-view mirror. "Gerard? Are you okay?”

  
Gerard felt himself tense. For a minute, he wanted to pretend he hadn't heard Frank, but he knew ignoring him wouldn't end up well. "I'm fine," Gerard replied flatly, not wanting to give away anything.

  
Frank knew Gerard was full of shit. "You're lying."

  
Gerard's grip on the wheel tightened. "I'm _fine_ ," he repeated, his voice tense.

  
Frank rolled his eyes, frustrated. "Gerard, I'm not a fucking idiot, okay? I can see something's wrong."

  
"Frank, now's not the time," Gerard snapped, starting to shake a bit. The car swerved as he tried to gain his focus back.

  
"Jesus, Gerard! You can't even fucking drive! Now cut the shit and tell me what's wrong with you!"

  
It was a good thing the road seemed to have no one driving on it besides Gerard, because he slammed his foot hard on the break, causing the whole car to stop abruptly.  
Frank was flung forward, causing him to hit his head on the back of Gerard's seat. "What the fuck?!"

  
Gerard still held onto the wheel with all his strength. He had his head down and was struggling to keep his breath steady. "Frank," he said in a firm, serious tone, "Stop. Just. Stop. I'm almost to your house. I don't have time to deal with this." He was shaking all over again and starting to feel dizzy.

  
"You know what? Fuck it, go home, I'll walk." Frank unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car, slamming the door behind him before walking quickly down the road.

  
Gerard huffed, pulled the car to the side of the road and got out, walking fast. When he caught up to Frank, he grabbed his arm and spun him around. "No you're not," he snapped, "I'm driving you home."

  
Frank yanked his arm away. "Fuck you," he spat.

  
Gerard grabbed Frank's arm again, his grip firm, yanking him backwards. "Look, I don't give a fuck how much you might hate me," he huffed, "I still care too much about you to let you get hit or something."

  
"Stop fucking around! You know I don't hate you and I'm not going to get hit! I may be small, but I'm not a child!"

  
"Oh don't try and give me that bullshit," Gerard snapped, "'You don't hate me', yeah fuckin' right. Like I'd believe that. I know you're not a child, you made it obvious last night, but you're hungover like hell."

  
"Why do you think I hate you? When the FUCK did I say that?!" Frank didn't care to hide how annoyed and pissed off he was anymore; his emotions were getting the best of him.

  
"You don't _have_ to say it," Gerard spat back. "It's an accepted fact that everyone fucking does, now stop arguing with me and get back in the God damned car!"

  
Frank's face softened a bit, suddenly feeling like a total ass for not being more careful with his words. "Gerard... I don't hate you; you should know that by now."

  
Gerard's grip loosened and he looked away, unable to keep eye contact anymore. "Frank, don't lie to me," he pleaded, "I don't need to get my hopes up..."

  
"Why would I lie to you? How would that benefit me at all? Why would I go through all of that on Friday. Just for kicks? I don't think so."

  
Gerard shrugged and let go of Frank's arm, his own arm falling back to his side. "Desperation. Pity. Something along those lines."

  
"Ha, not like I was exactly desperate to make friends, I can do fine on my own if I want. And I didn't even _know_ you, how could I pity you? You don't even make sense, y’know that?"

  
Gerard kept his gaze to the concrete. "There's a million reasons to hate me and exactly zero reasons not to," he concluded. "I figured that out last night. I understand you want to make me feel better about myself, but there's no reason to try. I'm just a worthless human being. I'm not worth your time. Please, just stop."

  
Frank couldn't stand listening to Gerard say those things; it gave him this feeling of being both completely pissed off and terribly sad all at the same time. "Fuck! Gerard! Your only fucking problem is that you think too little of yourself! You are far from worthless, why don't you see it? Stop saying this shit!"

  
Gerard didn't seem fazed one bit. "No," he answered dully, "I don't see it. I don't see any worth. All I see is a stupid teen who fucks everything up and lets his emotions get the best of him. All I see is a screw up that all his peers hate because he makes no benefit to anyone. All I see is a worthless waste of space."

  
Frank couldn't take it anymore, he was so upset and so frustrated and he didn't know what to do, so he decided on telling Gerard to "Shut up," before lurching forward and kissing him, holding him there with his arms wrapped around his chest.

  
Gerard squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back his tears as they threatened to escape again. _'He's lying,'_ his thoughts kept telling him. ' _You're worthless and he knows it. You know it.'_  


  
Frank held Gerard closer, not breaking the kiss, not deepening it, just trying to convey his emotions to Gerard without pushing anything too far.

  
Gerard broke away from the kiss, looking away, shaking all over. He cursed himself a thousand times as tears started to fall. "P-please, Frank," he whimpered, "don't do this... You can do better... I'm not worth it..."

  
"You _are_ worth it, please just believe me." Frank was about to cry himself, he just wanted Gerard to feel better and be happy again.

  
Gerard just shook his head, his knees giving in, causing him to drop to the ground. He tried holding back his cries, letting out small whimpers instead. "You deserve better..." he choked out. "You're wasting your time on someone like me..."

  
Frank sighed and sat down next to Gerard and pulled him onto his lap, holding him close. "I'm not wasting my time... I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be... why do you think like this?"

  
Gerard shook his head. "It's always been that way," he whispered. "There's no reason for it to suddenly change. There's no reason for me to be with someone so perfect."

  
"I'm not fucking perfect, just wait. And there is a reason for change when you've been wrong all this time."

  
"How can I be wrong when it's what everyone tells me?" he whimpered, tears still falling from his eyes. He couldn't look back into Frank's eyes; he couldn't stand to look into his beautiful eyes and feel like he didn't deserve it.

  
"You were wrong because t _hey're_ wrong." Frank wiped away some of Gerard's tears gently.

  
Gerard shook his head again. "How can everyone I know be wrong? I snapped on you last night because of my own stupid feelings... You stood up and defended me and I just couldn't get past my stupid emotions to see yours. I don't deserve you."

  
"Everyone has their moments... it doesn't make them stupid..."

  
Gerard still wasn't convinced, but with the flood of emotion and lack of good sleep the night before, he was so light headed and exhausted that he didn't have the energy to argue anymore. Instead, he leaned into Frank, resting his head on the younger male's chest softly, tears silently falling. His gazed was fixed, staring directly in front of him, but it was blank and dull. His will felt broken... Everything felt broken. He just wanted it to stop...

  
"Gerard... come on, you gotta get home... you need rest...."

  
Gerard was silent. He quietly listened to Frank and struggled to get himself up, stumbling a bit while attempting to do so. Frank stood up and helped Gerard walk back to his car, helping him into the backseat.

  
Lying down, it took Gerard a few minutes to process that fact that he was in the back seat. "Wh... wait... shouldn't I be the one driving...?"

  
"Not when you can barely keep your eyes open." Frank got in the front and started the car up again before starting towards Gerard and Mikey's home.

  
Gerard tried to object, but it only came out as a small whimper. He sat and stared at the back of the driver's seat the whole way, silent as a grave.

  
Once Frank made it to their house, he woke up Mikey and helped him get Gerard inside.

  
When they finally made it inside, Gerard realized that Frank didn't have a ride home. He looked up at him, his stomach twisting slightly as he tried to form a sentence, his mind fuzzy. Frank told Mikey to take good care of Gerard before saying a quick "Goodbye," and heading out the door.

  
"F-Frank," Gerard whimpered, "wait..."

  
Frank stopped and turned around, "What? Do you need something?"

  
He looked at Frank, feeling dazed and worn. "You... you don't have a ride home..." he muttered. He walked towards Frank, stumbling a bit, until he was standing in front of him. He put a hand on his arm, partially to keep his balance, but also to reassure himself that Frank was, in fact, still standing there. "Don't leave..." he pleaded weakly. "Stay... Please..."

  
"I... uh... fine, but only for a little bit..." Frank led Gerard back to the couch and sat down next to him. Gerard wrapped his arms tightly around Frank, not wanting him to leave, even though he'd already agreed to stay. "I'm tired..." he murmured. "I want to go to bed..."

  
"Well... where's your room?"

  
Gerard sat for a few more moments, trying to process his thoughts. "Upstairs..." he finally mumbled.

  
Frank sighed before standing up and steadying Gerard so they could go upstairs. "Had to be UP the stairs, huh?"

  
Gerard was so tired he didn't understand what Frank meant by that... until he tried going up the stairs and fumbled a few times. He could barely keep his eyes open... his mind was so fuzzy...

  
Frank did his best to support Gerard, but he was a lot bigger than him and that made it difficult. By the time they both made it to Gerard's room, Frank was exhausted and basically let Gerard fall onto the bed before doing the same himself. "Fuck, I’m so tired."

  
Gerard rolled onto his side and grabbed Frank around the waist before he could say anything, and pulled him close, burying his face into the younger teen's shoulder. Frank closed his eyes and fell asleep without meaning to. Gerard quickly dozed off as well, comfortably asleep in his own bed, curled up next to Frank.

  
A few hours later, Frank opened his eyes and began to panic when he didn't recognize the room he was in. _'Who's touching me? Where am I?'_ his mind had a million questions and he couldn't remember how he got to where he was. He slowly turned onto his other side to face the person who was curled up beside him and relaxed once he realized it was only Gerard.

  
Gerard was still asleep, comfortably snuggled up next to Frank. His dreams were plain and forgettable, but all he needed was a good enough rest. Frank decided not to bother him and got up and made his way downstairs instead, looking for something to do.

  
Gerard stirred when Frank left, and by the time the other male had exited and went downstairs, he had started to blink the sleep from his eyes. He raised his head and looked around. "F-Frankie...?" he whimpered. Suddenly, he wondered if it'd all been a dream. He tried to pull himself out of bed, his hand lying on his drawing notebook. He pulled it out and looked at the last page he was on; it was a sketch he'd started drawing of Frank on Friday while they were in chemistry... he relaxed a bit. It _wasn't_ a dream... But then guilt surged through him as he remembered the fight they'd had. He dragged himself out of bed and quietly made his way out of his room. "Frank...?" he called out softly.

  
Frank was sitting on the couch in the living room when he heard someone call his name. He got up and started to go down the hall, but saw Gerard coming towards him. "Oh... hey."

  
Gerard stood still for a moment, then quietly walked over to Frank and, without hesitation, wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sorry..." he whispered, resting his chin on Frank's shoulder.

  
"It-It's fine, don't worry about it…"

  
"No... no it's not fine..." Gerard sighed quietly. "I'm sorry I've put you through all this..."

  
"Hey, I said its fine, so forget it, okay?" Frank smiled stiffly.

  
Gerard stood there silently for a few more seconds, then tightened his embrace, closing his eyes slowly. "If you say so," he whispered.

  
Frank hugged Gerard back and sighed from relief.

  
"Frank?" Gerard whimpered quietly.

  
"Yeah?"

  
He swallowed hard and stood quiet for a few minutes. "I love you," Gerard whispered, his voice unwavering.

  
Frank blinked and hugged Gerard tighter, burying his face into his shoulder. "I love you too," he mumbled.

  
Gerard closed his eyes again, letting his muscles relax as he felt the comfort of Frank's arms around him.

  
Frank breathed heavily on Gerard's neck. "Maybe... uhm. Maybe I should be getting home..."

  
Gerard felt his grip tighten just a bit. "Do you have to?" he whimpered.

  
"Well… it's kinda late and we have school tomorrow." Frank didn't really want to go, but his mom wouldn't let him stay out too late on a school night.

  
Gerard relaxed his arms. _'I can't force him to stay,'_ he told himself. _'Nor should I try to.'_ "Okay," he whispered.

  
"I mean, we'll see each other tomorrow, so-" Frank smiled, when he noticed Gerard's face starting to fall into a frown.

  
Gerard looked up at Frank. He gave a small smile back, feeling that twinge of happiness that he always seemed to feel whenever he saw Frank smile. Frank pecked Gerard's lips before letting him go and stepping into the main room. "Do you think you could give me a ride? I don't mind walking though, it's no big deal..."

  
Gerard smiled. "No, its fine," he reassured him. "I don't mind... I'd love you give you a ride."

  
"Okay… thanks." Frank headed out the door and got in the car, realizing he forgot to lock it when he drove.

  
Gerard got back in the driver's seat, seeming not to notice, or care, that the car was unlocked. He started down the neighborhood road, noticing the afternoon was already halfway over. Frank turned on the radio and counted the minutes until he was home, knowing it was only a short drive from Gerard's house to his own.

  
A short while later, Gerard pulled into Frank's driveway and looked at the small teen. "I... I guess I'll see you tomorrow," he whispered, his heart suddenly aching.

  
"Yeah, definitely," Frank tried to smile, but only ended up looking like he was in pain.

  
Gerard looked back at Frank, a bit confused. "Are... are you okay?"

  
"Uhm... yeah," Frank blushed. "I'll see you, thanks for the ride." He quickly got out of the car and rushed inside to save him from any further embarrassment.

  
Gerard watched Frank scurry inside, and giggled to himself. He pulled out of the driveway and went back to his house, laying back down in bed and falling asleep once more.

 


	8. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have never known  
> The likes of this, I've been alone  
> And I have missed things and kept out of sight  
> But other guys were never quite like this  
> La, di, di, da di di
> 
> Falling, yes I am falling  
> And he keeps calling me back again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "I've Just Seen A Face" by The Beatles  
> 

 

Frank sat outside the school, waiting for the doors to open. He accidentally showed up an hour earlier than usual and found the school locked. He sat on a bench and listened to his ipod, only 10 minutes to go before the doors finally opened.  
Gerard had driven Mikey to school early, both trying to get to their classes early to make up for the fact that neither of them would focus on the teachers that day, still exhausted from the weekend.  
Frank looked up when he heard the sound of car doors shutting. When he saw it was Gerard and Mikey, he stood up and walked over to them but Mikey just walked past him and went into the school. _'Maybe he does hate me,'_ he thought. "Hey, Gerard, you're...early."  
Gerard looked to the ground quietly. "Yeah," he replied, "Mikey's still having a bit of a hangover... and I'm still tired... so we decided we could at least get to classes early." He looked up at Frank. "How come you're here?"  
"I'm a big dumb ass and set my clock wrong; I've been here for an hour." Frank glanced at the school and saw the doors were open.  
Gerard shrugged. "Better than it being an hour late," he pointed out, seeing the doors were open as well. "Well, uhm... I guess it's time to go in... I have Bible study first block... you?"  
Frank sighed. "I have band so I'll just see you at lunch I guess?"  
Gerard shrugged and nodded. "Okay," he replied softly, before making his way into the school.

 

* * *

Frank made his way outside and found Gerard sitting by himself, as usual. He sat down next to him and took off his bag and smiled. Before he could say anything, Ray and Mikey sat down next to them. _'Since when is this a thing?'_ Mikey had on dark sunglasses and looked like a vampire, he sat across from Ray and ate quietly, making Frank question their sudden appearance even more.  
Gerard looked over to Mikey quietly, feeling a bit awkward. His brother had seemed so distant suddenly; it was getting unnerving. He shuffled his feet a bit, looking silently to the ground.  
Mikey picked at his food and peeked at Ray from under his sunglasses. Frank decided to be the first to break the awkward silence. "Not that I don't want you guys here...but why _are_ you here?"  
Gerard looked up at Ray and Mikey, glad Frank could voice for him. Ray looked over to Mikey silently.  
Mikey stopped picking at his food and sighed. "We just... wanted to sit with you guys? Is that a problem?"  
Gerard shifted uncomfortably. "No," he answered. "But you guys have almost been avoiding us... and Mikey, you've seemed kind of... distant lately." He looked down at his feet nervously.  
Mikey's eyes widened, though no one could see it from behind his glasses. "I'm not distant! I mean, I'm not trying to be! I guess I've just had a lot on my mind…" He stared at his food and stopped all communication.  
Gerard slightly twitched at Mikey's sudden answer. Ray nudged Mikey gently with his shoulder and shot him an unreadable look. Gerard tried to speak, but the words caught in his throat, silencing him.  
Mikey blushed and continued to look at his plate and pick at his food. Frank looked around nervously, feeling the awkward tension around the table, praying that someone would say something... anything.  
Gerard was still silent, not sure of what to say. He scooted a bit closer to Frank to comfort him, and himself. Ray cleared his throat. "So uhm... we haven't really seen you two around much," he started, trying to change the subject.  
Frank laughed. "Ray, we were at your house on Saturday!"  
"No, no, I mean in general... like... we hung out Thursday for a bit, then you two went off Friday, and I saw you at one point of Saturday... but that's basically it." Ray shrugged. "I mean, I'm not complaining or anything. It's just... well I guess... maybe we've all been avoiding each other without meaning to?"  
"I'm sorry... I guess I kind of hogged Gerard since I got here." Frank forced a laugh and looked at Mikey, who looked like he was really upset for some reason.  
Ray gave an awkward laugh, seeing there was still some uneased tension.  
Gerard looked at Mikey. "Mikey...?" he asked in almost a whimper, "Are you okay...?" He hadn't spoken to him at all in history class; the silence between him and his brother was starting to make Gerard feel sick.  
"I-yeah, Gee. I'm fine. Don't worry about me."  
Gerard shuffled around a bit. "Mikey, _please_ ," he insisted, his worry growing.  
Mikey stood up and backed away from the table. "I said I'm fine... just... don't worry about me and my problems, ok?" He turned around and ran inside the building. Frank looked around the table, hoping for someone to explain what the hell just happened.  
Gerard sat and stared, stunned. Ray got up and excused himself before going after Mikey.  
Mikey sat under the staircase and breathed out a heavy sigh. _'Why am I so stupid?'_  
Ray looked around and found Mikey. He walked over and sat beside him, nudging him softly. "Hey," he whispered. "What's wrong?"  
"Just... leave me alone... please…" Mikey buried his face into his folded arms.  
Ray put a hand on Mikey's shoulder, gazing softly at him. "Mikey," he sighed softly. "I won't make you tell me what's wrong... but you know I'm here for you."  
Mikey looked up at Ray and scooted closer to him, wrapping his arms around his waist.  
 Ray hugged Mikey back, quietly resting his chin on top of Mikey's head.  
"I'm sorry I've been so weird lately."  
"Hey, it's alright," Ray whispered quietly. "There's probably a lot on your mind... I get it."  
Mikey shook his head. "No... you don't get it. You don't get it at all."  
Ray lifted his head and looked down at Mikey. "Then explain," he replied quietly. "So I _can_ understand."  
Mikey gripped Ray's shirt tightly. "I can't tell you... I just can't. I'm sorry."  
Ray hugged Mikey a bit more tightly. "Why?" he asked.  
"Because you won't look at me the same if I tell you. You wouldn't want me around anymore."  
Ray lowered his face so he could look Mikey in the eyes. "Mikey," he whispered. " _Nothing_ you could say would make me want to avoid you."  
Mikey thought for a moment and hugged Ray tighter. "What if I said I liked you... not in the brotherly way but... in the ‘I want to be with you’ way." Mikey spoke so quietly that he could barely even hear himself.  
Ray's cheeks turned red. "Well, I-I..." He looked down for a moment then back up to Mikey. "Do you... feel that way?"  
Mikey nodded and hid his face, completely embarrassed. Ray smiled softly and hugged Mikey more tightly. "What if I said I felt the same?"  
"I- do you?" Mikey looked at Ray questioningly.  
Ray nodded silently, looking away shyly.  
Mikey smiled and relaxed a bit and sat there, just wanting to be close to Ray. He didn't say much in emotional situations and this was no exception.  
Ray rested his head softly on Mikey's shoulder, holding him closely.  
When the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, Mikey was very reluctant to get up and leave him.  
Ray slowly got up and helped Mikey up with him. He rested a hand gently on his arm.  
Mikey smiled, "We better get to class.."  
Ray smiled back and nodded. "Yeah," he agreed. "We'll see each other after school... right?"  
"Of course." Mikey said, catching Ray in a quick hug before running down the hall to his class.  
Ray blushed again and smiled as he watched Mikey head back to class. He slowly turned and made his way back to his own class, feeling much better about the rest of the day.

 

* * *

Frank was silent for the rest of the lunch period and when the bell rang, he felt jipped of his time with Gerard, he didn't wanna go back to class.  
Gerard got up slowly, silent. He wasn't sure how to take any of the situation. He shuffled his feet. "U-uhm," he muttered. "S-sorry about lunch being so awkward."  
Frank laughed it off. "It wasn't your fault, no need to apologize."  
Gerard shrugged. "Still, I feel bad."  
"Don't. It was all out of your control, and I'm sure Ray took care of it all."  
Gerard sighed and shrugged. "I guess so," he agreed.  
Frank stopped right outside the doors leading into the school and bit his lip. "Uhm... do you wanna just... not go in?"  
Gerard tensed up a bit. "Y-you mean skip school?" He hated school and all, but... skipping? He knew it wasn't a good idea... but he had a hard time denying Frank.  
"Yeah. I mean, I know it's not good and everything but I don't really feel like finishing the day." Frank really hoped that Gerard would go with him, but he knew that even if he didn't, there was no way he was going back into the school.  
Gerard shuffled his feet for a few moments, biting his lip, arguing internally and trying to reason it out with himself. _'Just go already!'_ his thoughts finally snapped. He looked up at Frank, straight in the eyes, and nodded. "Okay," he whispered.  
Frank's face lit up. "Really? You're sure? I mean... don't feel like you have to."  
 _'It's a whole day together with Frank,'_ he realized. _'Do I really want to turn that down?'_ "No, I don't want to deal with all these people today," he concluded. "I'll go. With you."  
Frank smiled and grabbed Gerard's hand and quickly walked to the parking lot, dodging all of the windows.  
Gerard ducked down the whole time, paranoid of getting caught, but he was already enjoying it, glad to have Frank grasping his hand.  
Once they finally reached the parking lot, Frank's palm was extremely sweaty so he let go of Gerard's hand and walked to his car. "Freedom!" He yelled, trying to make Gerard laugh.  
Gerard ducked down behind his car, afraid someone might've heard them. "Sh-should we really do this?" he whimpered, a bit scared.  
"Gerard, no one is gonna catch us, calm down."  
"I-if you say so," he whispered as he climbed into the car.  
Frank just rolled his eyes and got into the car, buckling his seat belt. Gerard buckled his as well and started the car. He was shaking all over. He backed out of the parking lot and spun off, driving away as quickly as possible.  
"Gerard, calm down! We're not running away from cops or anything!"  
Gerard slowed down a bit, realizing just how fast he was going, and that he didn't exactly have a plan on where to go, so he'd just kind of... driven somewhere. He looked around... things didn't really look familiar. "S-sorry," he mumbled.  
"It's okay, how about we just drive to the park? Most stores and places like that will report us so we better go somewhere with less people."  
Gerard nodded and turned around, then headed towards the park. _'This is like a date again,'_ he thought to himself, causing him to blush.  
Frank rolled down the window and turned on the radio, blasting it. He looked over at Gerard and smiled before sticking his arm out and hitting the side of the car in time to the music.  
Gerard glanced over on occasion and smiled at Frank, starting to enjoy his time more.  
Once they got to the park, Frank pointed to a parking spot behind a bunch of trees. "Go there."  
Gerard hesitated a moment. _'What's he planning?'_ he thought to himself a bit nervously. He complied, though, pulling into the parking space.  
Frank unbuckled his seat belt and reclined in his seat. "So, what do you wanna do?"  
Gerard shrugged, blushing yet again. What he _really_ wanted to do was cuddle with Frank, but he felt like maybe that was too much. "I guess maybe take a walk through the woods?" he suggested.  
"Sure, whatever you want." Frank smiled and hopped out of the car.  
Gerard unbuckled his seatbelt and got out as well. He walked over and shyly grabbed Frank's hand. "Uhm... which trail do you want to take?" he asked.  
Frank shrugged. "I don't really care, you choose."  
Gerard looked at all the trails. He'd taken almost all of them... except one. It was really long, and apparently easy to get lost on... _'But doesn't Frank like that kind of adventurous and dangerous stuff?'_ he asked himself. He stood a few more moments then beckoned to the unknown trail. "Maybe that one?"  
Frank nodded and smiled before starting down the trail.  
Gerard walked down with him, taking a look at his watch. _'11:30,'_ he noted. _'Hopefully this won't take too long.'_  
Frank looked around, not sure of what to do or say. "So..."  
Gerard looked up at Frank. "Yes?" he answered quietly. He was a bit nervous about holding Frank's hand, but squeezed it as reassurance.  
"I just..." Frank laughed nervously. "I don't know. I never know what to say around you."  
Gerard blushed, but still looked at Frank. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"  
"I'm not sure. Good... I think."  
Gerard smiled and held Frank's hand a little more tightly. It seemed to be getting darker. He looked up to see the tree tops closer together, blocking sunlight.  
Frank looked around and picked up a stick and started playing with it, unsure of what else to say.  
The two kept walking for an hour, the undergrowth becoming thicker, some of it starting to grow on the trail. Gerard swallowed hard, feeling a bit tired. "Hey, uhm, maybe we should rest for a few minutes," he suggested.  
"Okay!" Frank looked around. "But where?"  
Gerard looked around a bit, too. He saw a small spot clear of any growth under a tree. "Maybe there?" he answered, looking at the spot, then to Frank.  
Frank nodded and headed over to the tree and sat down, leaning against the trunk.  
Gerard followed, sitting closely next to Frank and leaning his head on Frank's shoulder, closing his eyes. He breathed in the warm forest air, feeling comfort settle in.  
Frank ran his fingers lightly over Gerard's thigh and looked around at the trees overhead.  
Gerard blushed at the touch and inched closer to Frank, feeling his heart pounding. "Frank?" he whispered, opening his eyes slightly.  
Frank looked down at Gerard. "Yes?"  
Gerard was quiet for a few minutes. "N-nevermind..." His head was spinning, he was so nervous.  
"Please tell me." Frank rested his hand on Gerard's thigh as reassurance.  
Gerard blushed even harder and looked down at the ground beside him. He tried to steady his breathing a bit. "I-I," he started. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "I want to go out with you."  
Frank blinked a few times and smiled. "Really?"  
Gerard nodded silently, his eyes still closed. He was starting to slightly shake. He'd never been with anyone before, let alone asked someone out.  
"Well... I wanna go out with you too so I guess that's it then."  
Gerard opened his eyes and looked at Frank in surprise. "R-really?" he asked. "So w-we're... we're boyfriends?"  
Frank laughed and nodded. "I guess we are."  
Gerard looked down, blushing a little more, and laid his head back on Frank's shoulder.  
"So, what do you wanna do now? It's still early."  
Gerard looked down the trail. "I-I guess we should continue down the trail."  
Frank stood up and helped Gerard to his feet before starting down the trail again. "Do you even know what's down here?"  
Gerard swallowed nervously. "N-not really."  
"Oh. Do you want to go back then?"  
"If you want."  
Frank could tell Gerard was nervous about going down an unknown trail so he gave in. "Let’s just go back to the car, I'm tired anyways."  
That made Gerard relax a little bit. "Okay," he sighed, grabbing Frank's hand.  
While they walked, Frank kept pointing out random flowers and talking about how the prettier they are, the more poisonous they can be, explaining how the poisons translate to bright colors.  
Gerard smiled quietly and listened, enjoying the time with Frank. He stopped paying attention to the trail at some point tripped on a root sticking out of the ground. He let out an _oof!_ as he caught himself with one arm, barely missing the ground-to-face contact. He flipped himself over he brushed off his pants, annoyed at his gracelessness.  
Before Frank could ask Gerard what happened, he met the same fate and tripped, sending him toppling on top of Gerard.  
Gerard turned a deep shade of red, putting a hand on Frank's shoulder. "A-are you okay?" he squeaked, a feeling of warmth crawling up his body.  
Frank shook his head, chasing away the pounding in his brain. "I'm fine. Shit, are you okay? I'm so sorry."  
Gerard looked away shyly. "Yeah, I'm okay." His head was spinning. He looked up at Frank, and a sudden urge ran through him. "Frank?" he whispered.  
Frank picked a leaf out of Gerard's hair before responding. "Mhm?"  
Gerard hesitated a moment before putting a hand on Frank's cheek and leaning forward, pressing his lips against Frank's.  
Frank's eyelashes fluttered from the surprise. He was so happy that Gerard was initiating the kiss that he forgot to respond. When he came back to reality, he leaned closer against the other teen, deepening the kiss.  
Frank moved so that he was straddling Gerard, never breaking contact.  
Gerard let out a small whimper and slid his tongue into Frank's mouth, his breath hitching in his throat.  
Frank started to moan, causing  his eyes to widen as he pulled away. He didn't want to push things too far. "Shit, Gerard, I'm sorry," he said, biting his lip.  
Gerard's head spun from what just happened. He panted slightly and shook his head. "D-don't worry about it," he responded, blinking away the daze.  
"Okay," Frank mumbled as blushed a deep red and scrambled to his feet.  
Gerard pulled himself up and shifted his position. He wasn’t sure what came over him. His head was still spinning, causing him to lean on Frank.  "So where should we go after this?" he asked softly.  
"Well, there's no one at my house." Frank blushed as soon as he said that. "Or we can just drive around or something," he said quickly, trying to fix his blunder.  
"I'm feeling a bit exhausted," Gerard sighed. "Maybe we should just go back to your house."  
"Okay, come on then."  
Once they got back to the car, Frank leaned against it and waited. Gerard pulled out his keys and unlocked the car, then climbed in the seat, starting the car back up.

 


	9. A Hotter Touch, A Better Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin.  
> I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck  
> Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" by Panic! At The Disco

Gerard shuffled into Frank's house shyly. He looked around, everything looked so odd compared to his own home... but it still felt comfortable.  
Frank shut the door behind him and looked at Gerard. "So, want something to eat? Or... what do you wanna do?"  
Gerard shrugged. "I dunno. I'm feeling a bit tired, honestly."  
"Then you can go up to my room and sleep... if you want."  
Gerard shuffled his feet. "I don't want to just leave you alone."  
"I could come up with you. I could use a nap too."  
Gerard blushed a bit. "S-sure," he responded. "I'd like that."  
Frank smiled and led Gerard upstairs to his room. Once in, Frank shut the door, kicked off his shoes, and laid down on his bed. Gerard took off his shoes as well, and sat on the edge of the bed. He hesitantly pulled himself on the bed and curled up by Frank.  
Frank smiled and wrapped his arms around Gerard, pulling him closer. "Get some sleep," he whispered before closing his eyes.  
Gerard blushed and buried his face into Frank's shoulder, his eyelids heavy. He slowly closed his eyes and fell asleep.  
A few hours later, Frank blinked himself awake and looked around. Gerard was still asleep in his arms and he didn't want to wake him, so he just laid there, staring at the ceiling.  
Gerard slowly blinked himself awake. The sun was showing through the window. He screwed his eyes shut, whimpered, and buried his face into Frank's shoulder again.  
Frank laughed and nudged Gerard. "Come on, the sun won't hurt you."  
Gerard grumbled, "Too bright," he complained as he wrapped his arms tightly around Frank.  
Frank licked Gerard's cheek and laughed. "Face the day, sunshine!"  
Gerard jumped back in surprise, then ducked his head as the sunlight hit him. "Clooose the blinds, it's too bright," he mumbled.  
Frank sighed as he sat up and shut the blinds, bathing the room in darkness. "There, ya big baby," he teased before falling back onto the bed.  
Gerard dove down onto Frank and wrapped his arms around him.  
"Thaaank you," he said childishly, looking up at Frank and smiling.  
Frank laughed before leaning down and kissing Gerard.  
Gerard kissed Frank back shyly and laid his head on the other's chest. "So what should we do now? School should be out at this point."  
"We can do whatever you want, my mom isn't home 'till five."  
Gerard laid quietly for a few minutes and though. "I honestly don't know." He snuggled closer. "I'll do whatever you want." He blushed deeply as he realized how suggestive that sounded.  
"Hmm. Whatever I want? Imagine all the possibilities." Frank laughed and wriggled his eyebrows.  
Gerard blushed and buried his face into Frank's chest. "Frankie!"  
"What?" Frank smiled, playing innocent.  
Gerard hugged Frank closely, his face burying deeper. "You know what!"  
"Do I?" Frank brought Gerard's face up to his before kissing him deeply.  
Gerard gave a small whimper and kissed back, wrapping his arms around Frank's shoulders. Frank placed his hands on Gerard's hips while he explored his mouth with his tongue.  
Gerard pressed closer to Frank, pushing his tongue up against the younger male's and letting out a soft whine. As Frank continued to kiss Gerard, he could feel himself begin to get hard from having Gerard so close and prayed the other teen didn't notice.  
Gerard cuddled closer, still kissing, blushing as he felt around Frank's hips. He pretended not to notice the buldge pressed agaisnt his leg to spare Frank from any embarrassment. _'I should tease him,_ ' his mischievous thoughts chimed. Gerard slowly slipped his arms down Frank's sides, nearing closer to his hips.  
Frank's breath hitched when he felt Gerard's hands go lower, but he tried to concentrate on what he was doing with his tongue. Gerard kissed deeper and let his hands go further down, his fingers slowly wrapping around Frank's hips.  
Frank instinctively bucked his hips and blushed wildly once he realized what he'd done. Gerard's face was burning, but he kissed deeper and rubbed a hand softly over Frank's bulge.  
Frank moaned quietly into the kiss, making a conscious effort not to rub up against Gerard to get some friction. Gerard let out a small whimper, his hand brushing up against Frank's hard-on a little more.  
Frank bit Gerard's bottom lip and tightened his grip on his hips. Gerard rubbed himself up against Frank a bit, slowly running his tongue against Frank's bottom lip.  
Frank's breathing got heavier, feeling Gerard responding. He thought they should stop before they took things too far, but decided that if Gerard wasn't stopping, neither was he.  
Gerard started to get a bit dizzy, feeling a heat rise up in him. He started to pant and let out an involuntary whine. _'Don't push it,'_ his thoughts scolded. Gerard slowly pulled away from Frank, his breath light.  
Frank tried to steady his breathing as he looked up at Gerard, a small smile planted on his lips. Gerard kissed Frank on the lips and rested his head back on his chest, as though nothing had happened.  
Frank ran his fingers through Gerard's hair as he lay staring at the ceiling, his mind racing.  
"Frankie...?" Gerard whispered in his cutest voice.  
Frank giggled at Gerard's attempt to be cute. "Yes, Gee?"  
Gerard looked up at Frank and batted his eyelashes lightly, smiling. "I love you."  
"I love you too," Frank said as he leaned down and kissed Gerard's forehead.  
Gerard blushed and scooted himself up a little, pressing his face into Frank's neck softly. "Is there a certain time you need to get back?"  
Gerard shook his head. "My parents are pretty chill... so long as I let them know where I am."  
"Oh, good." Frank's stomach growled. "Ah shit. Do you want something to eat? I'm starved."  
Gerard smiled. "Uhm, sure!" he replied. "What do you wanna eat?"  
"Well, all we have here are poptarts, so..."  
"I'll eat whatever you want. I have money on me if you wanna go somewhere. Or we could go eat at my house?"  
"I don't know about you but poptarts are my favorite thing to eat." While that wasn't a complete lie, Frank just didn't want to go out and make Gerard pay again.  
Gerard looked up at Frank. "I can't tell if you're joking or not..."  
"I'm serious, man. Poptarts are the shit."  
Gerard giggled a bit and hugged Frank tightly. "If you say so."  
Frank smiled and sat up, stretching before standing and waiting for Gerard to follow him.  
Gerard crawled off the bed and stretched, emitting a small involuntary whimper as he did such.  
Frank raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay?"  
Gerard blinked and looked at Frank. "Huh? Oh... yeah, I'm okay!" He shuffled his feet and gave a shy smile. "I always do that when I stretch, I dunno why."  
Frank smiled widely. "That is the cutest fucking thing. Come on." Frank turned and started down the stairs.  
Once in the kitchen, Frank pointed to a stool an opened the cabinet. "We have cherry and strawberry poptarts. Take your pick."  
"Uhm... I'll take strawberry I guess?" Gerard hadn't had poptarts in what seemed like forever. The last time he'd had one he was a kid.  
"Good 'cause cherry is my favorite." Frank grabbed two packages and tossed one to Gerard before sitting on the counter and breaking pieces off and eating.  
Gerard stood next to Frank and nibbled on his, pressing up slightly against the younger male.  
Frank's head turned when he heard a car pull into the driveway. "Oh, I think my mom’s home. She's so early though!"  
Gerard's eyes grew wide. "Wh-what do we do?" he squeaked nervously. He hadn't met Frank's mom... or dad... or any of his family for that matter. _'Oh fuck I have to meet my boyfriend's parents already,'_ he thought anxiously.  
"Nothing, just smile and be nice." Frank barely got the words out when his mom came through the door.  
"Frankie! Whose car is that out front? I -oh!" She stopped short when she saw Gerard, not expecting to see him.  
Gerard bit his lip and gave a nervous smile. "H-hi," he squeaked, his voice shaky. _'Gee, calm the fuck down. She isn't going to murder you or anything. Calm. Down.'_  
Frank sensed how nervous Gerard was so he decided to break the ice. "Mom, this is Gerard, he gave me a ride home today."  
Frank's mom eyed Gerard up and down before smiling widely. "Oh! Nice to meet you! I'm Linda, we're ordering pizza for dinner if you wanna stay?"  
"U-uhm... I'd have to tell my mom I'm here... and i-if it's okay with you and all..." He shuffled his feet a bit shyly.  
Linda smiled and set her purse down on the counter. "Of course it’s okay, you're always welcome here!" Frank blushed and smiled shyly at Gerard.  
Gerard looked down at the ground and took a deep breath. _'Her face is a little up, Gee. Look up,'_ his thoughts pushed. Gerard slowly looked up at Frank's mom and steadied his voice as best he could just long enough to politely say, "Thank you, Mrs. Iero."  
Linda waved him off before heading in the other room to order the pizza. Frank laughed nervously and nudged Gerard. "Sorry about that. She's a little much to take in."  
Gerard whispered, "But does she know that you're... and... what about us?"  
"Well, of course she knows about me. Not so much about us I mean... she just met you and I didn’t want her to grill you the first time you two met."  
Gerard shuffled his feet a bit. "W-well I wasn't sure... since... well..." He cleared his throat nervously and instinctively lowered his voice. "I... kind of haven't told my parents yet... Mikey's come out and all, but..."  
"Oh." Frank's face fell but he tried to keep a bright expression. "I mean, that's your business but you gotta tell them eventually. How did they react to Mikey?"  
"Well..." Gerard started a bit uncomfortably, "they didn't seem _too_ upset," He cringed  and looked to the floor. "But I heard them talking afterwards... when Mikey was asleep and I was supposed to be asleep..." He fell quiet for a few moments. "'At least our oldest one has a chance,' my dad had said." He shuffled his feet and gave a quiet sigh.  
Frank couldn't help the grimace he made. "That's shitty. I'm so sorry..."  
Gerard sighed. "I just... it pisses me off how I have to 'carry on the family name.' Since when did I sign up for that responsibility?" He shuffled his feet a bit more. "I'll have to tell them soon if we're going to be together or else they may find out on their own and get angry for me not telling them."  
"You're right. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."  
Gerard shrugged. "I-I guess so..." He paused for a moment. "I... don't even know _what_ you are, actually," he realized out loud. "Like... I'm gay... but... are you gay or bi or what...?"  
Frank blinked and paused for a moment, playing with the hem of his shirt. "Well... I've dated girls and liked it and I mean... you know I really like you... so I guess bi? I don't know to be honest." Frank shrugged and looked at the ground.  
Gerard sighed. "Mikey's the same... at least he has a chance to--" he changed his voice to sarcastic "-- 'carry on the family name'," he grumbled. "Sorry, I just like dick," he apologized to no one in particular, pushing himself close to Frank.  
Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard as comfort. "It's good you only like guys, less competition for me!" Frank smiled, trying to lighten the mood.  
Gerard smiled shyly, wrapping his fingers around Frank's arms. "Y-you're actually the first guy I've really, _really_ liked," he admitted shyly, looking down to the floor.  
Frank couldn't help but to smirk. "Really? Wow, I'm honored," he said, laughing.  
Gerard blushed, closing his eyes softly. "No one has ever been so nice and kind to me before... and no one at the school is really good looking, either..."  
"What are you talking about? Ray is a total babe!"  
Gerard laughed and buried his face into one of Frank's arms. "Ray is nice and all... but he's not my type... plus Mikey--" he cut himself off, biting his tongue. _'Shut up Gee!'_  
Frank's brow furrowed. "What about Mikey?"  
Gerard swallowed. "N-nothing... I, uhm..." _'You promised to keep it a secret until he had the guts to ask him out!'_ his thoughts scolded.  
Frank was about to protest when the doorbell rang, causing his mom to come running out into the main room to get the pizza. Frank sighed and let go of Gerard. "We can talk later."  
Gerard followed Frank quietly, beating himself up. _'You swore to tell no one about that! You know how sensitive Mikey is!'_  
Frank sat on the couch and watched Gerard with a questioning look. Linda paid for the pizza and shut the door before setting it on the coffee table. "You guys can eat here but you have to use plates," she said as she scurried into the kitchen.  
Gerard looked back at Frank, feeling guilty for keeping things from him. _'It's not like it affects me personally,'_ he thought. _'It's Mikey's personal life, not mine.'_ He sighed; maybe he should tell Frank that, just to clear things up. "Look," he started softly, "Mikey told me something, so he could get it off his chest. But he made me promise I'd tell _no one_...If that weren't the case, I would've told you then and there. It's not some deep, dark thing... but it's personal to my brother, y'know?"  
Frank smiled and picked up a piece of pizza. "It's okay, not my business, I get it." Before Frank could take a bite, Linda entered the room and shoved a plate into each of their laps then grabbed two slices and retreated back to the kitchen.  
Gerard jumped slightly and watched Frank's mom dart back out of the room. "Your mom has a lot of energy," Gerard remarked. "More than my mom, anyways... she just kind of gets home and goes off and does her own thing... usually goes to her study and reads or something."  
Frank shrugged and took a bite of food. "She's always had energy. Guess that's where I get it from."  
Gerard grabbed a slice of pizza and slowly started eating. "My parents are both like that... They aren't very social with either of us... I mean it's good and bad. At least I can do things without them breathing down my neck."  
Frank finished his first slice and reached for another. "Lucky. My mom doesn't let me piss without her knowing."  
Gerard laughed a bit. "Well, at the same time, I can't talk to either of my parents about anything... Like if I need help or advice, I'm pretty much screwed."  
"What about friends though? They'd probably be willing to help."  
"Besides Ray? And my brother? I have no friends... you're the first person who actually tried to talk to me."  
"Oh. Well that's enough... right?"  
Gerard inched closer and pressed himself against Frank. "Yes," he whispered softly, leaning his head onto Frank's shoulder.  
Frank smiled and kissed Gerard's hair. Gerard blushed and continued to nibble on his food. Frank titled his head back and sighed, realizing he'd eaten too much.  
Gerard looked up at Frank, worried. "Are you okay, Frankie?" he asked softly, his mind silently taking note of the fact that the nickname seemed to stick.  
Frank laughed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I just ate too much."  
Gerard still looked at Frank worriedly. "Are you sure?" he pushed.  
Frank picked up his head and kissed Gerard lightly. "Yes I'm sure."  
Gerard blushed and kissed Frank back. "If you say so."  
Frank looked at the clock on the wall. "Hey, what time do you need to be home?"  
Gerard shrugged. "Any time, honestly."  
"You're sure your parents won't worry?" It was hard picturing parents that didn't care what time their kid got home when his own mom was so protective.  
"As long as I get to school tomorrow and don't get arrested or shot or something... Nope," Gerard shrugged.  
"Oh, okay. You could uhm... maybe... stay the night. If you want, you don't have to... I mean... yeah." Frank bit his lip and stared at the wall.  
Gerard blushed and pressed against Frank. "S-sure," he agreed shyly.  
Frank smiled widely, unable to hide how happy he was. Gerard blushed even more and buried his face inro Frank's shoulder.  
"Are you trying to burrow into me?" Frank laughed and playfully pushed Gerard off of him.  
Gerard jumped back, then leaped forward and tackled Frank.  
Frank gasped from surprise and wrapped his arms around Gerard and squeezed while faking an evil laugh.  
Gerard giggled and blushed, letting out a small squeak when Frank squeezed him.  
Frank was about to kiss Gerard when he heard his mom coming down the hall, causing him to push Gerard off of him and onto the other side of the couch.  
Gerard sat up, surprised at Frank's sudden put-off, then looked up and saw Frank's mom coming. He pushed himself into the couch and shot Frank a confused look.  
Frank smiled at his mom as she cleared the table. "Hey mom. Uhm. Could Gerard stay over tonight?" We won't stay up late or anything."  
Linda stopped what she was doing and looked at Gerard. "Would your parents be okay with it?"  
"My parents said it was okay," Gerard answered, only somewhat lying.  
"Well, I'll put the sleeping bad and some pillows in Frankie's room for you as long as you get him to school tomorrow," Linda said with a smile.  
Gerard smiled shyly. "I think I can manage that," he replied softly. _'Sleeping bag?'_ he thought to himself, blushing a bit as he realized he thought he was sleeping with Frank in his bed. _'He **is** my boyfriend... But it's not like we'd do anything... Would we?'_ Gerard snapped himself out of his thoughts before his mind wandered too far, feeling his face burn.  
Frank mumbled a, "Thanks, mom," as Linda walked back out of the room.  
"Sleeping bag?" Gerard whispered to Frank, giving him a look.  
Frank burst out into laughter. "Don't worry, I won't make you sleep on the floor."  
Gerard shuffled his feet shyly. "I-I mean, I will if you don't feel comfortable with me sleeping with you."  
Frank rolled his eyes dramatically. "It's not like it'd be the first time."  
Gerard blushed even harder, looking down to the ground. "When are you going to tell her, anyways?"  
"I'll try tomorrow. I didn't wanna push things if you were gonna stay."  
Gerard nodded. "Good point," he agreed. "B-but it's not like we'd... y'know... do anything..." His face burned a little more, trying to refrain his thoughts from wandering farther.  
Frank simply shrugged and picked a loose string on the arm of the couch.  
Gerard looked down and shuffled his feet. ' _Who'd be top?'_ his thoughts chimed, making him blush. He shook the thoughts from his head. _'Shut up!'_  
Frank looked around and turned on the TV to fill the awkward silence in the room. Gerard cleared his throat and shuffled around a bit.  
When Frank couldn't stand the awkwardness anymore, he stood up and looked at Gerard. "I'm uh... kind of tired so I was gonna head up to bed. You can stay here for a while if you want."  
Gerard shuffled his feet. "No, I'm tired too," he agreed, his eyes feeling a bit heavy. "I'll go if you are."  
"Okay." Frank reached over and turned off the TV before walked upstairs to his room, pulling Gerard with him.  
Gerard blushed as he felt Frank pull him. _'He's so strong,'_ he thought to himself.  
Once they reached his room, Frank switched on the light and locked the door. "Do you want something to sleep in?"  
"Something to sleep in?" Gerard repeated. "I, uhm... don't understand." He shuffled his feet nervously. _'Why did he lock the door...?'_  
"Well, I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy sleeping in my uniform."  
Gerard blushed slightly. "U-uhm... I-I dunno... I usually just sleep in my boxers."  
Frank's eyes widened. "That... uhm... that's okay too... I'm just gonna... yeah." Frank turned around and started unbuttoning his shirt.  
"I-I mean I can sleep in, uhm... something else... if that's too awkward or something."  
"No, that's fine. Whatever makes you comfortable." Frank dropped his shirt and tie on the floor before easing out of his pants.  
Gerard looked down, feeling his face burn again as he watched Frank start taking off his pants. He made his way over to the bed, and shyly began taking off his own shirt and tie, folding them neatly after getting them off.  
Frank reached into a laundry basket and pulled out an old pair of black sweatpants before taking the extra pillow his mom set on his desk and tossing it onto the bed.  
Gerard slowly pulled off his pants, suddenly feeling very self-conscious, and folded them up with his shirt and tie, and set them aside. He hesitantly made his way into the bed, covering himself up comfortably.  
Frank turned off the light and got on the bed, crawling over Gerard to lie next to him.  
Gerard was thankful the lights were off -- he didn't want Frank to see how red he was when he felt Frank over him for those few moments.  
Frank sighed and got under the covers, pulling Gerard closer to his chest. "You know, I never go to bed this early."  
Gerard blushed harder, feeling Frank's bare chest against his own. "I usually go to bed whenever... Sometimes I fall asleep at eight, sometimes at three a.m... It just depends, I guess."  
"Depends on what?" Frank had Gerard so close that every time he talked, he could feel Gerard's breath against his neck.  
"I dunno... when I fall asleep. I'm usually in my room after I get home from school, so... yeah..." Gerard trailed off, unsure of what else to say.  
"Ah," is all Frank said before he began nuzzling Gerard's neck.  
Gerard let out a small whine without meaning to, resting his chin on Frank's shoulder.  
Frank ran his hand lightly over Gerard's chest. "How tired are you?"  
Gerard's breath started to become a bit light. "Not very," he whispered. "How come?"  
"I was just wondering..." Frank brought his hand lower, his fingers stopping at the hem of Gerard's boxers.  
Gerard felt his face burning, trying to control his breath from coming out in pants as he felt Frank's fingers. He positioned his legs a bit awkwardly as he felt himself start to get a hard on from all the close contact.  
"Is it okay if I... uhm..." Frank couldn't bring himself to say it and hoped Gerard would get the hint.  
Gerard's head was spinning from everything, causing him to flinch when Frank spoke. "Wh-wha...? C-can you... what?"  
Frank sighed and whispered, "Can I... touch you?" He closed his eyes and tried not to burst from embarrassment.  
Gerard's heart skipped a beat at the question, and it took all his control not to sound desperate as he whispered back, "Okay..."  
Frank nodded slightly and scooted  as close as possible. He lingered for a moment before he slipped his hand into Gerard's boxers and carefully gripped his dick.  
Gerard felt his breath stop, and he bit back a gasp. He started breathing heavily, trying to keep his pants quiet.  
Frank was surprised by Gerard's girth once he finally got his entire hand wrapped around him. He gave Gerard's dick a light squeeze before stroking his length once.  
Gerard let out a small whimper, resting his face on Frank's shoulder as he started to pant harder. _'His fingers feel so... good,'_ he thought to himself as he let his eyelids fall shut.  
Hearing Gerard responding gave Frank confidence to start stroking him more and more, trying to find a good rhythm. Gerard began panting more, his hands resting on Frank's hips. An uncontrolled, but soft moan escaped his lips as he screwed his eyes shut tighter.  
Frank could feel himself getting hard as he gripped Gerard tightly, trying to get him to make more noise. Gerard panted harder, feeling himself start to sweat. His hips pushed forward slightly as he let out a long, quiet groan.  
Frank stroked Gerard faster, occasionally twisting his wrist. He knew they had to be quiet because his mom was just downstairs, but he wanted to hear every noise Gerard made loud and clear.  
Gerard gripped Frank's hips as his pushed forward. He let out another moan, panting roughly. Frank's eyes closed for a moment as he moved, causing his own erection to rub against Gerard's thigh. Frank bit his lip and continued to stroke Gerard, bringing him closer and closer to the edge.  
Gerard gripped Frank's hips tighter and felt his own hips buckle. "F-Frank..." he moaned softly.  
Frank kissed Gerard as he stroked him faster, occasionally squeezing. Gerard let out a small whine as he felt himself release, feeling a chill run up his spine.  
Frank stroked Gerard a few more times before relinquishing his hold and reaching up for a tissue to clean both of them off.  
Gerard let go of Frank's hips to let him move, gripping the sheets, still panting. Frank wiped his hand off and then cleaned Gerard up before tossing the tissue in the trash and laying back down.  
Gerard steadied his breathing a little and pushed himself up to Frank again, resting his hands on Frank's hips.  
Frank smiled and tried to see Gerard's face though the darkness.  
Gerard pressed his face into Frank's chest, still panting. He'd barely realized that Frank had started to get hard as well. He hooked his thumb on the hem of Frank's sweatpants.  
Frank's eyes widened. "Uhm... no, Gerard. You don't have to."  
Gerard pulled his hand away slightly. "D-do you not want me to?"  
"I... I'm just tired and... yeah." Frank looked away and tried to ignore the panicing feeling rising in his chest.  
Gerard pulled away a bit. "D-did I do someth-thing wrong?" He couldn't help but get a rising feeling of anxiety.  
"No, no! You didn't do anything wrong!" Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard and hugged him.  
Gerard twitched in surprise and hugged Frank back, still a bit worried.  
"So... we should sleep so we're not dead tomorrow."  
Gerard whispered, "Okay." His thoughts were still unsettled.  
Frank rolled Gerard onto his side and closed his eyes. "Goodnight, Gee."  
Gerard rested his head on Frank's shoulder. "Goodnight," he whispered.

 


	10. I Need A Place To Hide Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.  
> Now I need a place to hide away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Yesterday" by The Beatles

Frank was woken up by his alarm clock going off in his ear. He reached up and hit it, trying to shut it off. "Gerard. Wake up."  
Gerard stirred and sat up slightly, blinking the sleep from his eyes. "What time is it?" he mumbled.  
"Seven. We have an hour to get to school."  
Gerard's eyes shot open. "Only an hour?!" He jumped out of bed and started putting on his uniform. "But we have to get ready, too!"  
"How long does it take you to get ready? You're not a chick." Frank said as he stood up and started getting dressed.  
Gerard winced at the comment. "Everyone at the school may hate me, but I still want to look nice."  
"You look nice anyway." Frank sat on the bed and tied his shoes before heading to the bathroom. Gerard blushed slightly and adjusted his tie. He sat on the floor and laced his shoes, then followed Frank. Frank was in the middle of fixing his hair when Gerard walked in. "See? Doesn't take you that long to get dressed."  
"It's not the getting dressed part; it's the hair and everything," Gerard mumbled, looking around the sink area. "Uhm... do you have any eyeliner?"  
Frank stopped what he was doing. "Eyeliner? I don't have any but my mom does."  
"Uhm..." _'Do I ask if I can use hers or just go without it?'_ Gerard asked himself uncomfortably.  
Frank stepped into the hall and yell down to his mom. "Ma! I'm using your eyeliner, okay?" When he heard a faint ‘okay’, Frank ran into her room only to appear with a stick of black eyeliner. "Here," Frank said as he tossed the stick to Gerard.  
Gerard caught the makeup and mumbled an embarrassed ‘thanks’. He set it to the side for the moment then took a comb and started to brush his hair.  
Frank checked himself once over in the mirror  and leaned against a wall, watching Gerard. Gerard slowly combed his hair, checking to make sure to part evenly and that no hairs were out of place. When he was finally satisfied, he picked up the eyeliner and carefully started applying it. Frank walked up close behind Gerard and watched intently as he put the black liner on. Gerard stopped and looked at Frank through the mirror. "Um, can I help you?"  
"I'm just... looking... don't mind me."  
Gerard shot Frank a questioning glance before continuing. He kept getting distracted by him, so he leaned in closer to the mirror. He slowly got the edge of his bottom eyelid on one eye, and then started working on the other.  
"How do you not poke yourself? Looks dangerous."  
"I concentrate?" Gerard replied. _'Dangerous?'_ He finished his first eye, and started to work on his second.  
"You look like a pirate with just one," Frank laughed.  
Gerard tried to shoot Frank an annoyed look, but he couldn't help but smile. He sighed and shook his head, and continued on his other eye.  
"Gerard, come _on_ , we only have twenty minutes to get there."  
"Uuugh, I _told_ you!" Gerard neatly finished applying the eyeliner the rest of the way, and set it down. "Come on," he sighed, "let’s go."  
Frank ran downstairs, kissed his mom goodbye, grabbed his bag, and ran out to the car. Gerard followed, ducking his head shyly as he passed by Frank's mom, and hopped into his car, starting it up.  
Frank got in and buckled up with a sigh. He was not looking forward to chemistry, even if it was the one class he had with Gerard. Gerard started to drive to school. "What's wrong?" he asked, noting Frank's sigh.  
"Oh, nothing. Just realizing that my boyfriend _is_ a chick that wears eyeliner and has fab hair."  
Gerard tried to shoot Frank a look, but couldn't hide his smirk. "Well, at least I can _drive_ ," he shot back with a grin.  
"Well pardon me. You win... this time." Frank smiled and leaned back in his seat.  
Gerard finally pulled up to the school and parked. "Well," he sighed, "we have five minutes to get to class!" He wasn't very excited, even though he had a whole class with Frank.  
"Just be on time and maybe the whole period won't be hell," Frank said as he got out of the car and started towards the school.  
Gerard sighed, knowing that wouldn't be the case. He locked his car and followed after Frank.  
Frank walked into chemistry and sat down and pulled out his notebook, waiting for class to start.Gerard sat next to him and took out his sketch book, continuing his drawing of Frank. A few minutes later, Mr. Sherwaul walked into the room and immediately grimaced at Gerard. "Mr. Way, get that waste of time off your desk and _try_ to pay attention today."  
Gerard sat for a few moments, his gaze sharpening, grip tightening on his pencil. He took a deep breath, and looked up, staring straight at Mr. Sherwaul. " _No_."  
Mr. Sherwaul turned around from the black board. "Excuse me? I said to put it away! I have no time for you today," he sneered at Gerard.  
"You always seem to have _plenty_ of time for me," Gerard jeered. "In fact, you seem to spend more time giving nasty comments to me than you do teaching. Why are they even paying you?" Gerard could feel the fear pulsing though him, but he kept a strong gaze fixed on his malicious teacher.  
Frank kept looking between Mr. Sherwaul and Gerard, terrified. Mr. Sherwaul stepped closer so he was towering over Gerard. "Not another word, you little jerk. No one wants to hear you have a hissy fit because no one cares. If you even breathe wrong, you're out of here. For good."  
Gerard slapped his notebook face down and stood up, getting his face right into Mr. Sherwaul's. "Try me," he hissed, a small smirk on his lips. "I think someone forgot to remind you that there are cameras in the classrooms... 'No one cares' until the school gets sued for student harassment."  
Mr. Sherwaul's eyes widened. "Get out, Way. Just leave this class. Now."  
"No." Gerard answered firmly. "What are you gonna do?" he sneered, feeling himself have the upper hand, "Send me to the principal's office? I could just tell him all about our little in-class conversations. I mean, it's all ready for replay on the cameras. How many months? Three?"  
Frank tugged on Gerard's arm, silently begging him to sit down. Mr. Sherwaul was losing his cool and his voice kept getting louder. "Sit down! Enjoy your last day in this class!" The older man gave one last evil look before walking back to the board and attempting to continue his lecture.  
"And enjoy your last day at work," Gerard sneered. "I think I can remember my father's words clearly." He cleared his throat and quoted: "'Remember, son, I have a chokehold on that school of yours. They owe me. And if any teacher messes with you, I'll make sure _everyone_ knows that it was him that caused them all to lose their jobs.'"  
Mr. Sherwaul ignored Gerard's words and did his best to lead the class. Frank pulled on Gerard's arm with more strength than before, forcing Gerard to sit. Gerard watched Mr. Sherwaul for a few minutes before grabbing his notebook and continuing what he was doing, ignoring the teacher's original instructions.  
Frank sighed and kept his head down for the rest of class. Gerard continued to sketch, feeling victorious with Mr. Sherwaul's silence towards him. He hated Frank being so uncomfortable, though.  
When the bell rang, Frank grabbed all his stuff and practically ran out of the room, not even stopping until he got to his next class.  
Gerard walked past Mr. Sherwaul's desk. "I expect no snarky comments from now on," he growled. "Keep your mouth shut and I'll do the same." He walked out before the older man could say anything, and looked around, not finding Frank. He sighed and made his way to his next class.

  


* * *

Frank sat alone with his lunch out in front of him, not bothering to eat. Gerard walked out into the courtyard and spotted Frank. He walked over and sat beside him. "Hey Frank," he whispered with a small smile.  
"Hey Gerard," he mumbled, staring at the ground.  
Gerard frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.  
"Nothing." Frank said as he played with the hem of his jacket.  
Gerard pressed close to Frank. "Frankie... Something's wrong," he whispered. "Please tell me."  
Frank scooted away. "Nothing's wrong, okay?"  
Gerard looked at Frank, hurt. "You've been acting weird since last night."  
"What? No I haven't!"  
Gerard looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong... I didn't mean to upset you."  
Frank just shrugged. "I uh... I'm not really hungry. I'm gonna go inside." Frank stood up, grabbed his bag, and headed for the door.  
Gerard grabbed Frank by the shoulder. "Frank... _please_ tell me what's wrong," he asked again, feeling a whimper rise in his voice.  
"I said everything is fine and I mean it. I'll see you later." Frank shrugged off Gerard and headed indoors to his next class.  
Gerard stood in spot for a few moments and watched Frank walk away, feeling a lump in his throat and a sinking feeling in his chest. He dragged himself to his next class. For the rest of the day, Gerard was a wreck. He kept answering wrong and dazing off, getting sent to the nurse finally at one point to see if he was sick. "Couldn't be healthier," she'd said. He gave a ragged sigh and went to toss his books into his locker before heading out of school.  
"Can you drive... please?" Gerard had asked Ray desperately, handing him the keys. Ray took them, looking at Gerard in surprise, but the shorter male kept his gaze fixed on the ground.  
Mikey shot Gerard a worried look before motioning for Ray to unlock the car.  
Gerard crawled into the backseat without a word, buckling himself up and pulling his knees up to his chest. He rested his forehead on his knees, silent as death.  
Mikey got in the passenger seat and looked at Gerard. "You okay, Gee?"  
"Just perfect," Gerard replied, his voice hoarse and hushed. _'Perfectly not okay,'_ he finished silently to himself. Ray looked at Gerard through his rearview mirror and sighed, pulling out the car and starting to drive.  
"Do you wanna just skip going to Ray's? We can just go home."  
"I don't care... Do whatever you guys want... If you want, you can drop me off at home and you two can go hang out for a while or something," Gerard answered in a blank, monotone voice.  
"I don't like the idea of leaving you alone right now, Gee," Ray pushed firmly. "Something's obviously wrong."  
Mikey kept staring worriedly at Gerard. "What happened? I haven't seen you this bad in a long time."  
"I'm fine!" Gerard snapped, immediately regretting opening his mouth. He curled up tightly. "I-I'm sorry... I just... need time to think, okay?"  
Mikey sighed and turned around. "We'll go home and you can sulk in your room and come get us if you need."  
Gerard sat silently, not even bothering to give a snippy comment. Ray sighed and shook his head. When they finally reached home, Gerard got out and quickly made his way into the house, immediately heading up into his room.  
Mikey sighed and got out of the car before walking into the house and collapsing on the couch.  
Ray sat next to Mikey. "What could've possibly happened?" he whispered quietly to him.  
Mikey shook his head. "I have no idea."  
Ray sighed. "He actually seemed to be getting happy. What could possibly cause him to feel so upset suddenly?"  
"Maybe he fought with Frank?"  
"That could be it," Ray admitted. "What's up with those two anyways? Are they, like... a couple now or something?"  
"I don't know," Mikey shrugged, feeling bad for not knowing more about his brother.  
"They haven't really talked to us much since they started hanging out with each other," Ray remarked. A sudden realization hit him. "What about _us_?"  
Mikey shifted uncomfortably. "What do you mean?"  
"Well... I mean... we both made it clear we have feelings for each other."  
"So... do you want to go steady?"  
Ray blushed a bit and nodded slightly. Mikey smiled and scooted closer to Ray, and rested his head on his shoulder. Ray put an arm around Mikey and rested his head lightly on top of the other's.


	11. Please Please Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't wanna sound complaining,  
> But you know there's always rain in my heart (in my heart).  
> I do all the pleasing with you it's so hard to reason  
> With you, whoa yeah, why do you make me blue?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Please Please Me" by The Beatles  
> (This chapter is kinda long, so get ready!)

Mikey walked into history to find Gerard sitting alone in the back. He sat down in the seat next to his brother and nudged his shoulder.  
Gerard quietly looked up at his brother. "Sorry about yesterday," he immediately apologized. Guilt had been eating him as he locked himself away last night.  
"It's fine. Just. What was wrong with you?"  
Gerard shook his head. "I... I don't completely know... Frank just kind of stopped telling me anything and avoiding me, and--" He cut himself off when he realized he hadn't told his own brother about his relationship yet. "A-and, uhm... we actually, uhm... starting dating." He looked down shyly.  
Mikey smiled. "That's great you found somebody, Gee. Don't worry too much, he could've just been in a weird mood. Probably had nothing to do with you."  
"But..." Gerard swallowed hard. "It felt like it was... It was just... so unlike him."  
Mikey shrugged and pushed his glasses back into his nose. "Do you really know him? I mean, he's only been here a little over a week."  
"You can learn a lot about someone in a week," Gerard mumbled.  
"Clearly not enough."  
Gerard twitched a bit, getting slightly annoyed. _'Since when have you been an expert with relationships?'_ he thought, not wanting to say it out loud and insult his brother.  
"I'm just saying. Maybe he's not who you think he is-" Mikey got quiet once the teacher entered the room.  
Gerard let out a small sigh, regretting bringing up the subject in the first place. He pulled out his notebook and waited for the teacher to start.

  


* * *

Frank was leaning against the side of the school talking to a girl from band class when he spotted Gerard walking into the courtyard.  
Gerard dragged his feet through the dirt, not lifting his head once. He took a seat at the normal lunch table and laid his head down with a sigh. Frank figured Gerard was ignoring him because of how he acted the day before. He took a drag off of the cigarette the girl was smoking and continued to talk.  
Gerard never bothered to look up. His thoughts kept stirring in his head, attacking him. _'Why did you even ask him out? He probably just said yes out of pity. He seems to be enjoying his talk with that chick. They'd probably make a better couple than you with him. You'd be better off alone. And dead.'_  
After talking for a few more minutes, Frank excused himself and walked over and sat next to Gerard. Gerard sat, silent as a grave, bracing himself. _'It was too good to be true anyway'_  
Frank looked at Gerard. He looked pissed. "Are you gonna talk to me or sit there pissed off all day?"  
"I'm not pissed," he murmured quietly, trying to keep his voice from breaking.  
"Then why won't you look at me?"  
"Why would you want me to?" Gerard replied sadly.  
Frank's eyebrows furrowed. "Well, it'd be nice to have my boyfriend look me in the eyes when I'm talking to him."  
" _You_ were the one avoiding _me_ yesterday!" Gerard snapped, lifting his head up and looking Frank in the eyes, unable to hide his hurt expression.  
Frank blinked, taken in surprise by Gerard's tone. "I know... I'm sorry."  
Gerard looked back down, still feeling hurt, falling silent.  
"Please say something."  
"Like what?"  
"Just... I don't know. Anything."  
Gerard fell silent again. "I don't know what to say." He felt a lump in his throat. "Why were you avoiding me yesterday?"  
"I was having a bad day." Frank shrugged and looked to the ground.  
"Come on, Frank," Gerard sighed. "I know there's more to it than that."  
"You don't wanna hear about it... trust me."  
"Frank, _please_."  
"I just had a bad experience with my third grade teacher and with what happened, it just brought back bad memories."  
"Wh..." Gerard stared at Frank, shocked. "What happened?"  
"He was just... inappropriate," Frank whispered.  
Gerard started to feel sick as a thought hit his mind. "F-Frank... What did he do?"  
Frank's shoulders hunched and his mouth went dry as he explained. "I had to use the bathroom on a field trip and he went with me so I wouldn't get lost... and he cornered me and... you can figure the rest."  
Gerard stared at Frank in shock. "Th... that's why..." He couldn't even finish his sentence, he felt dizzy from the shock. He pushed himself closer and wrapped his arms tightly around Frank, burying his face into the younger one's shoulder.  
Frank just sighed and blinked back the tears threatening to fall.  
"Do you... want to go somewhere else? A little more private, maybe?" Gerard offered, seeing the look Frank had. _'I've seen myself in the mirror with that look plenty of times.'_  
Frank nodded and rubbed his eyes. Gerard softly grabbed Frank's hand and led him out of the courtyard, taking a shortcut off the campus and into the parking lot. He led Frank to the oak tree and sat down. Frank laid down and rested his head in Gerard's lap, letting his boyfriend stroke his hair absentmindedly.  
"Class starts soon," Frank mumbled.  
"We don't have to go to class if you aren't ready," Gerard answered softly, continuing to stroke Frank's hair.  
"I think I'll be okay."  
Gerard looked at Frank firmly. "Frank, please."  
"Do you not want to go?"  
"I don't want you to force yourself to go. You aren't letting out any of your emotions. I'm your boyfriend. I cried like a baby in front of you _multiple_ times. You don't have to hold back, y'know."  
Frank closed his eyes. "It was a long time ago... I don't need to cry. I'm fine, really."  
Gerard sighed and pulled Frank up, hugging him closely. _'I saw that look... He's holding back...'_  
Frank sighed heavily and buried his face in Gerard's neck. Gerard hugged Frank closer, resting his head on Frank's shoulder. Frank shuddered and tried to wipe his eyes before Gerard could feel any wetness on his skin.  
Frank silently cried for a few minutes before pulling away slightly and looking at Gerard.  
Gerard looked Frank in the eyes, put both his hands on Frank's face, and leaned his forehead on the other's, silently closing his eyes.  
Frank let out a shuddery breath, taken aback by the intimate action. "Thanks for putting up with me."  
"Frank," Gerard whispered quietly, lifting his head up and looking the other in the eyes. "It's _not_ putting up with you. I'm here for you. Because I care about you. A lot."  
Frank smiled softly. "Thanks... I care about you, too."  
"I know," Gerard whispered back, kissing Frank on the forehead and wrapping his arms around him.  
"We should go in..."  
"Do you want to?"  
"No. But we have to."  
"We didn't the day before."  
"And I don't wanna be the reason for you failing the semester."  
"Because I missed two days? And not even full days?"  
"I-- you're right. But we can't stay here."  
"We can just drive somewhere. You name it. I don't care how far."  
"Can we go to the park? Like one with the slides and things?"  
Gerard smiled. "Yeah, we can do that."  
Gerard stood up and grabbed Frank's hand, and quickly led him to the car.  
Frank bounced on the balls of his feet and waited for Gerard to unlock the doors.  
When he did, Gerard jumped in, buckling his seatbelt. "Some seniors leave campus to go get lunch, so we have cover," Gerard assured.  
"Awesome," Frank exclaimed as he got in the car and buckled up.  
Gerard started up the car and began to drive, still a bit shaky, but calmer than last time. He eased once they got far enough away from the school.  
Frank took off his jacket, loosened his tie, and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt before leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes.  
Gerard looked over at Frank for a moment, blushing slightly, then continued to drive. When they finally arrived, Gerard parked between two other cars to try and blend in.  
Frank opened his eyes when he felt the car stop. "That was fast."  
Gerard shrugged. "I know a few good shortcuts."  
"Well aren't you special?" Frank laughed as he unbuckled his seatbelt, then got out of the car.  
Gerard grinned at Frank. "Special like a penny," he answered, getting out and locking the car.  
Frank looked around, noticing no one was at the playground. He took off in a run towards the swing set. Gerard followed behind, his pace a little slower, watching Frank with a smile.  
Frank struggled to get onto the swing highest off the ground. Once he climbed on, he started pumping his legs back and forth, leaning back really far to get the most out of the experience.  
Gerard sat on the swing next to him, swinging himself slightly as he continued to watch Frank with a warm smile.  
Frank concentrated, trying to reach the desired height, before gripping the swing and doing a front flip, landing on his feet with a loud **_thud_**.  
Gerard laughed and did a little cheer. "That was awesome!" he shouted with a grin.  
Frank bowed and laughed before heading over to the monkey bars, climbing on top of them. "Come on, Gerard!"  
Gerard got up and walked over, looking up at Frank. "Uhm... I, uh..." Gerard wasn't sure how to explain to Frank that he never remembered going to the playground. Or climbing monkey bars.  
"What? Is wittle Gee scared?" Frank teased, making a pouty face.  
"A-actually, I, uhm... I don't really remember going to the park."  
"Oh," Frank's face fell. "Well no better time than the present to learn to climb. Get up here!"  
Gerard stared nervously at the twisted metal, and slowly began to climb. His hands slipped a few times, causing him to cling for dear life to the bars. He slowly pulled himself up until he was close to Frank.  
Frank grabbed Gerard's arm and brought him closer, making sure neither of them would fall. "Well, look at you. Gerard the chimp."  
Gerard shot Frank a look and shouldered him a bit, then sat himself in Frank's lap and wrapped his arms around the shorter male.  
"You're not gonna fall. You don't have to hang onto me," Frank laughed.  
"I know, but I wanna," Gerard replied, snuggling close to Frank.  
Frank laughed and leaned down and kissed Gerard.  
Gerard blushed and snuggled closer to Frank. "So what all do you wanna do today? I don't know if I'd be able to sleep over tonight, unfortunately."  
"Well, I don't know. I'm down for anything," Frank shrugged.  
Gerard shuffled his feet a bit. "Did you tell your mom yet?"  
"Ah, shit. I didn't. It slipped my mind."  
Gerard cleared his throat a bit. "Maybe you could, uhm... ask to spend the night at my house?"  
"Are you sure your parents wouldn't mind?"  
Gerard shrugged. "Ray once stayed over for a whole week and my parents never said a thing."  
"Oh. Okay. I'll ask my mom once school lets out."  
Gerard nodded. "U-uhm... Mikey also knows about us," he added.  
"Okay." Knowing Gerard had told his brother made Frank feel even worse for not telling his mom about their relationship.  
Gerard buried his face into Frank's shoulder. "Maybe it's a good thing you haven't told her yet," Gerard remarked. "If she knew, she might say no."  
"Maybe. Oh!" Frank suddenly remembered something. "You know that girl Jamia? She's having a party on Friday and I got invited."  
Gerard froze for a moment, feeling his heart sink. "O-oh," he answered softly.  
"Yeah... do you wanna go?"  
Gerard fell quiet. "I don't think I can since I wasn't invited."  
Frank rolled his eyes. "No one cares if you come, people just show up to these things."  
Gerard shrugged, remembering how last time's party went.  
"If you don't want to... I'm not gonna force you."  
"Wh-what? No. No, that's not it. I'll go."  
Frank hesitated. "Are you sure? If you're not into it, I can go alone. I'm sure I'd meet some nice people."  
"N-no!" Gerard gasped, feeling a creeping sense of paranoia. "Its fine," he reassured, lowering his voice again. "I'll go."  
"Okay, good! It wouldn't have been as fun without you." Frank hugged Gerard tightly. Gerard blushed and hugged Frank back, tightly as possible.  
Frank looked at his watch. "School is out."  
Gerard nodded. "Wanna go ask your mom now?"  
"Sure." Frank began to climb down from the monkey bars.  
Gerard followed slowly, his footing unsure as he made his way down. Once they were both on solid ground, Frank held Gerard's hand and walked to the car. Gerard blushed, feeling a little more comfortable again as he walked with Frank. He used the car remote to unlock the car as they walked.  
"Ooh, fancy." Frank got in the car, not bothering to buckle up for the short ride to his house. Gerard giggled a bit and got in his seat, and began to drive.

  


* * *

When they made it to Frank's house, he told Gerard to wait in the car while he ran inside to ask his mom and pack a bag. Gerard nodded and parked the car, letting it run. When Frank left, he settled himself in his seat, submerging himself in thought. Obviously, he wanted to spend time with Frank... but after what happened a few nights ago... Gerard had caught himself thinking about it. A lot. He shifted a bit, crossing his legs slightly. _'I can't lie to myself and say I didn't enjoy it,'_ he admitted, feeling a twinge of guilt and a small blush.  
A few minutes later, Frank came bounding outside with a small backpack slung over his shoulder and a huge smile on his face.  
Gerard cleared the thoughts from his mind and smiled back. "She said yes?" he guessed.  
"Duh," Frank said as he tossed his bag into the back and got in, this time buckling up.  
Gerard started back to his house. "Mikey had said something about hanging with Ray at his house," he said, "so we have the house to ourselves until about... seven."  
"Awesome," Frank smiled. "That's a lot of time."  
"Yup!" Gerard answered. "We can do whatever you want."  
"Oh, sounds promising." Frank winked at Gerard and laughed.  
Gerard ducked and blushed a bit, and continued to drive until he hit his house. He pulled into the driveway and parked the car, getting out and going to the door.  
Frank grabbed his bag and followed Gerard. Gerard unlocked the door, walking inside, and throwing his bag down casually. He trotted over to the couch and flopped his whole body onto it, sprawling out and taking up the whole area.  
Frank walked in and closed the door before dropping his bag on the ground and walking over to sit on the recliner.  
"Oh come on, you're boring," Gerard teased, shooting Frank a playful look.  
"And you sit like a whore," Frank joked.  
Gerard looked at Frank and batted his eyelashes innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about."  
"Oh, sure you don't. Everyone always lays like that on a couch."  
"Maybe they do," Gerard replied with a smirk.  
"Only if they're trying to seduce someone," Frank said, raising an eyebrow.  
Gerard shot Frank another innocent look. "Seduce? Why would I do that?"  
"Maybe because you liked what I did the other night."  
Gerard blushed a bit. _'Busted.'_ "What do you mean?" he asked, trying to maintain his innocence.  
"I mean," Frank started, leaning forward slightly. "You liked my hand on your cock, stroking you until you came all over the both of us. Or maybe I'm wrong about that. Maybe you didn't."  
Gerard looked away, turning a little more red. "M-maybe I did," he admitted.  
Frank got up and sat on top of Gerard, straddling his hips. "Maybe?"  
Gerard looked up at Frank in surprise, feeling himself blush more. "I-I dunno..."  
"You don't? Well that's a shame." Frank rubbed against Gerard's hips slightly.  
Gerard started to breathe just a bit faster, trying to keep himself from giving in on the spot. "What are you doing, Frankie?" he whimpered, gently placing his hands on Frank's shoulders.  
Frank pressed down harder. "What do you mean? I'm not doing anything."  
Gerard let out a small whimper. "Oh you're doing something..."  
Frank rolled his hips against Gerard's. "I have no idea what you're talking about."  
Gerard started to pant, feeling a heat rise up in him. "Oh really?"  
Frank leaned down and kissed Gerard, continuing to grind against him.  
Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank, his breathing getting heavier. Frank slipped his tongue into Gerard's mouth, deepening the kiss as he began to grind against him harder.  
Gerard started panting harder, feeling his shoulders heave. He raised his hips slightly, beginning to get hard from the friction. Frank broke away from the kiss, breathing heavily. Gerard tipped his head back, eyes closed, letting out a soft moan.  
Frank slipped his hands under Gerard's shirt, feeling his chest as their hips rolled in sync with each other.  
Gerard licked his lips slightly as he panted, mouth open, letting out another moan, this time louder.  
Frank looped his fingers in the rings of Gerard's pants. "Can I?"  
"Yes... anything." Gerard moaned, screwing his eyes shut tight, his fingers digging into the sofa.  
Frank unbuttoned Gerard's pants, pulling them down with his boxers around his thighs. Frank stared at Gerard, glad he could actually see what he was doing this time.  
Gerard continued to pant, a shiver running down his spine as he felt the cool air touch his hips. Frank scooted down and gripped the base of Gerard's cock, stroking twice. Gerard let out a whimper and bit his bottom lip.  
Frank hesitated a moment before leaning down and licking the head of Gerard's cock.  
Gerard breathed in sharply, letting out a small whimper as his hips pushed forward slightly.  
Frank took the tip into his mouth and sucked lightly. Gerard started panting roughly, clenching his teeth. He let out a quiet moan, feeling Frank's warm breath against his bare skin.  
Frank hummed as he took all of Gerard into his mouth. Gerard let out a gasp and shuddered. "Frank..." he whispered in a moan, feeling himself start to sweat.  
Frank's head started to bob up and down as he sucked Gerard.  
Gerard's breath became quick and short, his head spinning slightly at the feel of Frank's lips. Frank sucked Gerard more quickly while stroking what he couldn't fit in his mouth.  
Gerard let out another whine, twisting slightly, his back arching. Frank rubbed Gerard's thigh with his free hand as he deep throated him.  
Gerard's hips instinctively pushed forward as he continued to pant, running his hands through Frank's hair.  
Frank's teeth lightly grazed the soft skin of Gerard's cock as he sucked harder, making his cheeks hollow.  
Gerard whimpered. "Oh, _God,_ Frank," he moaned quietly, biting down on his bottom lip again. Frank moaned around Gerard, accidentally rubbing his own erection against Gerard's leg.  
Gerard's breaths were heavy -- almost labored -- as he felt himself tighten around his hips.  
Frank deep throated Gerard again and again, bringing him closer to the edge.  
Gerard clenched his teeth once more as he felt his hips buckle, shuddering as he came.  
Frank swallowed and pulled off of Gerard, wiping his mouth.  
Gerard panted, licking his lips, eyes squeezed shut as he felt the shudder run through his body.  
Frank pulled Gerard's boxers up for him and lay across his chest.  
Gerard pulled Frank close to him, resting his chin on the other's shoulder.  
Frank smiled faintly and closed his eyes. Gerard let his breathing calm, and rested his hands on Frank's hips.  
Frank didn't know what to say, so he just ran his hand up and down Gerard's side silently. Gerard softly rubbed Frank's hips and kissed his cheek.  
"So," Frank started, "what now?"  
Gerard shrugged quietly, still rubbing around Frank's hips, occasionally running his thumb on the edge of his pants.  
Frank sighed and buried his face into Gerard's shoulder.  
Gerard hesitated a moment, then hooked his thumb onto Frank's pants.  "Frank?" he whispered.  
"Hmm?" Frank lifted his head and looked at Gerard.  
Gerard looked down shyly, blushing a bit. "Uhm..." he started nervously, not sure how to word himself. "Do you think I could... uhm..."  
"Could what?" Frank asked, tilting his head slightly to the side.  
Gerard bit his lip a bit, anxiously, not sure if he could get the words out. "Could, uhm... maybe..." He ran his fingers over Frank's hips hoping he'd catch on.  
Frank's widened as the realization hit him. "Uhm... Gerard, you don't have to... I don't do these things so you'll repay me or whatever..."  
"It's not to repay you," Gerard cleared up. "If you don't feel comfortable with it I won't, but..."  
Frank bit his lip and thought for a moment. "You can... if you want. I-I'll be okay I think."  
Gerard hesitated. "Are you sure you're okay with it?"  
Frank nodded quickly. "I'm sure."  
Gerard sat a moment longer before slowly undoing Frank's pants. He slid his hand down them, reaching downwards, and sliding his fingers against Frank's cock.  
Frank gasped and let out a shuddery breath.  
Gerard hesitated again. "Are you alright?" he whispered, not wanting to push Frank too much.  
"Yeah, I-I'm fine."  
Gerard rested his head on Frank's shoulder before running the tips of his fingers down the side, and finally slowly curling his fingers around Frank's cock.  
Frank screwed his eyes shut and let out a quiet moan.  
Gerard's eyes grew wide for just a moment, taken by surprise Frank's reaction; a good surprise, of course. He slowly started stroking, occasionally running his thumb over the head softly.  
Frank buried his face into Gerard's shoulder, trying to quiet his moans. He knew it could feel good to have someone touch him like that, but not _this_ good.  
Gerard started to feel a little more confident, and gave a small squeeze while stroking, going a little faster than before.  
Frank's breathing quickened as he let out a low moan. Gerard lightly kissed Frank's neck once or twice while continuing to stroke. He started going faster, giving an occasional soft squeeze.  
Frank squirmed as he felt the fire start to build in his stomach. "Gerard, _fuck_ ," he moaned.  
Gerard went faster, nuzzling Frank's neck gently, falling into a well-paced rhythm.  
Frank gripped Gerard's shoulders and let out a quiet whine. Gerard licked his lips slowly, starting to feel his own heartbeat quicken a bit to Frank's reacting. He broke out of the rhythm, trying to go faster, gripping slightly tighter.  
Frank pushed down on Gerard's shoulders as he let out a loud, guttural moan.  
Gerard blushed towards the reaction, but continued, gripping a little tighter and squeezing a bit.  
"Gerard... so close... fuck." Frank's hips instinctively pushed forward.  
Gerard stroked faster and faster, trying to push Frank to breaking point.  
Frank grabbed Gerard's forearm as his head fell forward, moaning loudly as he came.  
Gerard inhaled sharply, not expecting Frank to be so... _intense_. He continued to stroke just a bit longer, slowing down the pace to a stop, and uncurled his now-sticky fingers from Frank, slowly, one-by-one.  
Frank pressed his forehead to Gerard's chest, attempting to regulate his breathing.  
Gerard pulled out his hand, running his clean one through Frank's hair gently.  
Frank closed his eyes and whispered, "I love you."  
Gerard smiled softly and kissed the top of Frank's head. "I love you too."  
Frank was silent for a while, his mind racing. Gerard nudged Frank slightly. "Uhm... I should probably get a cloth for us both."  
"Huh? Oh, yeah." Frank sat up and scooting off of Gerard.  
Gerard slowly got up, the blood rushing to his head as he sat up. Once over the dizziness, he got up and quickly got a washcloth, wiping off his hand. He went over to Frank and cleaned him off, then threw the cloth in his pile of laundry, and went back to the living room, closely sitting next to Frank.  
"So... your house is fun," Frank joked.  
Gerard blushed a bit. "I'm not sure if you're making commentary to what just happened, or pointing out that there's not much else to do here."  
"The first one, genius."  
Gerard laughed. "Sorry, my house _is_ kind of boring, so I wasn't completely sure."  
"Everyone's house is boring."  
Gerard shrugged. "I guess so. But we can make our own fun." He blushed and giggled slightly.  
Frank laughed and wrapped his arms around Gerard. "That's for damn sure."  
Gerard snuggled closely to Frank and looked at the time. "We never even ate lunch... You hungry?"  
"I am now."  
Gerard smiled shyly. "Do you want to go out to eat, or find something here?"  
"You can choose, I don't care."  
Gerard shrugged. "We can check and see if there's anything either of us wants here I guess."  
"I'm not too picky so we could probably find something."  
"If you say so." Gerard got up and made his way to the fridge. He opened it up and inspected what was inside, motioning for Frank to come and follow.  
Frank followed and peered into the fridge, standing on his tippy toes to look over Gerard's shoulder.  
Gerard looked behind him and smiled a bit, shifting to the side. "Y'know, you can always stand _beside_ me," he pointed out.  
"But there's better access in the back," Frank said as he pushed against Gerard's ass, laughing.  
Gerard's cheeks burned as he blushed, shooting Frank a look, but unable to hide a smirk.  
Frank smiled and moved to stand beside Gerard.  
Gerard stared at the inside of the fridge, trying to decide what to eat. "Uhm... We have leftovers and that's pretty much it," he observed, half to himself.  
Frank shrugged. "So?"  
Gerard shrugged as well. "I dunno. Uhm... could be a bit of a problem since no one in my family is a vegetarian..."  
Frank bit his lip, feeling guilty for having specific eating habits. "I can always eat around meat."  
Gerard shifted uncomfortably. "I dunno. I don't want you accidentally eating some and getting sick." He rummaged through a few drawers in the fridge. "I could make you some salad maybe? Or a sandwich?" He immediately twitched when he realized he just offered to make Frank a sandwich. _'Guess we know who the woman is of the relationship,_ ' Gerard half joked to himself.  
"If you have the stuff, I can make myself a salad." Frank felt bad, like he was putting Gerard out.  
Gerard looked back at Frank. "You sure?" he asked. "I don't mind, really."  
"I can do it. Uh thanks though."  
Gerard shrugged. "If you insist." He stepped back from the fridge to let Frank grab what he needed. Frank smiled and rummaged around until he found lettuce, cheese, ranch, and avocado. He stepped back from the fridge and placed the food on the counter.  
Gerard settled on leftover chicken and rice and popped it in the microwave, letting the fridge door ease itself shut.  
Frank looked around and sighed. "Gerard, where are the bowls?"  
Gerard looked up. "Here, hold on." He trotted over to one of the top cabinets and grabbed a bowl, then reached into another and pulled out a cutting board. He set both on the counter by Frank, then pulled out a knife from a drawer and handed it to Frank, holding it carefully by the blade.  
"Thanks." Frank began chopping the lettuce and avocado and put it all into the bowl before sprinkling cheese and ranch on top and cleaning everything up.  
Gerard pulled his food out of the microwave and pulled out two forks, handing one to Frank. "Here, uhm... The dining room is this way." He motioned to the closed door.  
Frank took the fork and grabbed his salad before walking into the dining room.  
Gerard followed in after Frank, suddenly becoming conscious of his house. The dining room was huge. The table glowed a beautiful brown, a perfect shining seal over the wood, with a milky-white silk cloth laid neatly on top of it. The chairs matched the table, the seats and backs covered in nice red velvet, matching the carpet. Arched windows were on the two walls facing the outside, one on each evenly-coated white wall, velvet red curtains draping over them. A small chandelier hung above the table, the lights glowing faintly, covering the room in a warm light. Gerard shuffled his feet, half hoping Frank wouldn't say anything.  
Frank's eyes widened when he saw the room. Everything looked so beautiful, he was afraid to touch anything. "Wow, Gerard. This is- wow."  
Gerard looked down at his feet. "My parents... like to be extravagant," he mumbled.  
"It's really cool, nothing like my house," Frank laughed.  
Gerard shuffled a bit. "It's okay. I guess," he shrugged. He wasn't even sure why he felt so self-conscious about his house. _'It looks like egotistical, wasteful, self-indulged spending,'_ his mind answered. _'It's not how I am, but my parents... But it looks like me, because I live here.'_  
Frank rolled his eyes and sat down at the table.  
Gerard sat down next to Frank and quietly began eating.  
Frank began eating and asked, "When do your parents get home?"  
"My mom usually gets home at seven. She goes to happy hour sometimes with her co-worker, though. But she'll text me an hour before she leaves work of she is... My dad gets home whenever. If he's not with a client, usually by nine." He poked at his food a bit. "How come?"  
Frank shrugged. "Just wondering."  
Gerard fell silent. "My mom's an executive in some insurance company, and my dad's a lawyer, in case you were wondering," he added. "A few years ago a student was badly injured by the fountain, and the parents sued. The school hired my dad to defend them in court, and he won... but they owe him. Which is why I said what I did yesterday. Because it's true." He played with his food a bit. "I don't even know why I said what I did. I guess I just got sick of him."  
"I'd get sick of that shit too but... I wouldn't do anything about it."  
Gerard shrugged. "I don't know what came over me. I just sort of... snapped, I guess."  
"Well, remind me to stay on your good side," Frank joked.  
Gerard gave a faint smile and quietly finished the rest of his meal.  
Frank finished eating and took his bowl and Gerard's plate and put them in the sink. Gerard blinked in surprise when Frank took his plate, giving a quiet ‘thank you’. He got up and stretched, and looked around the dining room. He had mixed feelings about his whole house. It was comfortable, and he liked it, but at the same time, it seemed to be too... flashy.  
Frank came up behind Gerard and hugged him. "What now?"  
Gerard jumped slightly in surprise, Frank breaking him from his thoughts. "Do you like to play pool?" he asked, turning his head back to look at his boyfriend.  
Frank thought for a moment. "I'm not sure. I've only ever played with my grandpa and his friends when I was little."  
Gearrd smiled. "Maybe I could show you how?" he offered.  
"Yeah! Sounds fun!"  
Gerard grinned. "Okay! The billiard room is just over this way."  
Frank burst out laughing. "You have a billiard room?"  
Gerard twitched and looked down. "Uhm... y-yeah."  
Frank shook his head and tried to catch his breath. "So, where is it?"  
"U-uhm... It's... over this way," he said, motioning towards a door.  
Frank followed Gerard.  
Gerard walked to the back of the room, opening another closed door that led down a hall. He made his way down the hall, which had two doors to his right and a door at the end. He opened up the second door, which revealed a large billiard room with emerald green carpet, similar to that of the carpet in the dining room. Two couches sat against the two back walls, a scoreboard hoisted on the wall. A stereo system sat angled in the closest corner. In the center of the room was a large, well-polished pool table, with the felt lining looking like that of the material the table stood upon.  
Frank didn't say anything as he looked around the room, stunned.  
Gerard trotted over to the cue holder, which held about twelve cues, and pulled out one, inspecting it for a moment, then grabbed some chalk and applied it to the tip. He looked up at Frank, still rubbing chalk on the tip.  
Frank looked at Gerard. "Do you have any of those short sticks?"  
Gerard laughed and pulled out a shorter cue. "Yeah, we have more cues in the closet if none of these fit your grip," he offered, handing the cue to Frank.  
Frank rolled his eyes and tried out the cue. "This is fine. What do we do now?"  
Gerard pulled a rack out of the side compartment on the table, along with fifteen pool balls. He quickly set them up in their specific order, and pressed the balls close together. He carefully removed the rack and hung it on the rack hanger, and pulled the cue ball from the compartment and carefully set it in place. "Now we break the triangle and play."  
"Okay, then break it!"  
Gerard leaned over and concentrated, the cue swinging forward and back slightly as he took aim. He pulled the cue back slightly more and shot, hitting the cue and sending it forward, colliding with the triangle with a loud _clack!_ The pool balls scattered across the table frantically like startled sheep.  
Frank got closer to the table and looked at all the balls. He found the white one Gerard had hit and tried to aim to hit, but missed no matter how hard he tried. "Damn it!"  
Gerard giggled. "Here," he offered, coming up behind Frank and putting his hands on the other's. "You just lean over like this... and then you aim... here... keep your arm angled..."  
Frank nodded slightly, trying to concentrate and not lean into Gerard's touch.  
"And now... you shoot!" Gerard guided Frank's hand with his own and shot the cue forward, the tip colliding with the cue ball and shooting it forward, clashing against a few balls and scoring the 14 in the left middle pocket.  
Frank laughed and stood up straight. "This is too complicated just to hit a ball with another ball."  
Gerard grinned. "But the strategy is what makes it fun!" he pointed out. "Here; you hit the 14 in, so you're stripes. You need to try and get all the stripes in, then the eight ball. I need to try and get solids. Now watch me." Gerard walked over to the other side of the table and inspected his options, pointing out to Frank the different directions he could aim and shoot, and which shot would be the best. He then leaned over and took a shot, landing the 4 in a corner pocket. "See?"  
"I don't know. I'll try. Is it my turn?"  
"Well, actually... Your turn comes when I shoot and don't score. But I was giving you an example. Go ahead!" Gerard stepped back to let Frank go.  
"Okay..." Frank stepped up to the table and bent down slightly, trying to get a better angle. He aimed at the white ball and hit it as hard as he could, sending it right at a striped ball. The two collided with a loud _clack_ before splitting into two directions and bouncing around the table for a while.  
Gerard smiled. "You're getting a hang of shooting," he complimented. "Here, I'll let you go again, but lemme show you something." He stood beside Frank and pointed out his different options, how shooting at one ball would affect the others in position, and others means of strategy.  
Frank sighed and tried again, this time aiming the white ball towards the striped ball closest to it. He hit it hard, but only caught the edge of it, sending it spinning towards another ball near one of the corner pockets and slowing it down until it barely tapped the other ball. The small tap was all it took for the striped ball to go over the edge and into the pocket. "Yes! I fucking got one!"  
Gerard grinned widely. "Awesome!" Gerard cheered.  
Frank smiled, pleased with himself. "What now?"  
"Well, it's still your go."  
"Oh, right. I'm such an idiot."  
Frank leaned down, aiming the white ball to a group of three. He hit the white ball and it rolled towards the group, breaking it up, but none ended up going into the pockets, causing Frank to pout like a child.  
Gerard laughed. "Hey, you'll hit it the next time!" he encouraged. He took his shot, planting the 1, then the 7, and then an empty shot. "Your go."  
Frank sighed and did his best to sink a ball, but missed. "I suck so bad."  
"Frankie, you _just started_ ," Gerard laughed, walking up and hugging Frank.  
Frank wriggled out of Gerard's grip and stepped away. "Just take your turn."  
Gerard looked at Frank, a bit hurt. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing. Just play."  
Gerard frowned. "Frank..."  
"What?" Frank snapped.  
Gerard flinched, his expression falling. He looked at the ground, falling silent.  
Frank sighed and set his cue on the pool table and walked into the living room.  
Gerard set his cue down as well and followed Frank. "Frank, please tell me what's wrong."  
"Nothing is wrong! You're the one who wouldn't play!"  
Gerard flinched back. "Y-you don't have to yell," he whimpered.  
"I'm not yelling! I'm just frustrated."  
Gerard let out a small hurt whimper, his head hanging sadly. "I-I'm sorry."  
Frank looked at Gerard. "Why do you look like someone kicked your puppy?"  
"I-I don't know what I did wrong." _'Existing?'_ his thoughts suggested.  
Frank's expression softened and he wrapped his arms around Gerard tightly. "Fuck, Gerard, I'm sorry. I was just annoyed that I was doing so bad and I have a really hard time controlling my temper... I'm a terrible boyfriend, you didn't deserve that."  
Gerard whimpered a bit. "I'm sorry."  
"Shit, Gerard, it's not your fault, it's mine."  
Gerard quietly rested his forehead on Frank's shoulder, deathly silent.  
"Are you okay?"  
"No," Gerard choked out, his voice barely audible.  
Frank frowned. "I said I was sorry... I feel really bad. Please, Gerard."  
"It's not you."  
"Then what is it?"  
Gerard shook his head silently, staring down at the ground.  
"Gee, please tell me."  
"Nothing," he whispered hoarsely.  
Frank rubbed Gerard's arms. "I know when you're lying."  
"It's nothing... just... thoughts."  
"Of?" There was no way Frank was letting Gerard keep this bottled up.  
"Just... things..."  
"Like? Come on, Gerard, spit it out."  
"I'm just a fuck up."  
"What? How?"  
"Just... everything... triggering you and snapping at my brother, complaining about everything... why do I even exist?"  
Frank hugged Gerard tighter. "Gerard, you gotta understand that a fucking _flower_ could trigger me. And Mikey will understand."  
"You could do better than me."  
"I don't give a shit what you _think_ I deserve, you're what I want."  
"Why me? There's nothing special about me... I'm a loser... nothing."  
"Gerard, that isn't true and you know it, now stop."  
"How is it not true? What have I ever done that's so amazing?"  
Frank shrugged. "I don't know. We're too young to have done much but you'll achieve great things in the future."  
"Like what? I can't do anything right."  
"I don't know, Gee. We'll figure it out, just don't worry right now, it's not important."  
"Then what _is_ important?"  
"Just enjoying the moment. Don't waste your life worrying about the future, it's pointless."  
"But _I'm_ pointless... useless... I still don't see why someone amazing like you would want to be with someone like me."  
"Because you aren't pointless! Damn it, Gerard! I don't know what else I can say here."  
Gerard just sighed and shook his head sadly. Frank held Gerard closer to him, unsure of what to say.  
Gerard stood silently. He slowly raised his arms and wrapped them tightly around Frank, quietly resting his chin on the other's shoulder.  
"Are you feeling better now?"  
Gerard shrugged quietly, closing his eyes. He wasn't sure how he felt. He softly leaned into Frank, starting to feel a little comfortable, when he heard the front door open. He pulled away quickly, stumbling back a bit, trying to make himself look normal. His mom walked into the room, taking off her sunglasses. She looked up in surprise to Frank, then Gerard. "Gerard?" he she asked, her voice smooth and even, "Who is this?  
Gerard swallowed. "U-uhm... This is my friend, Frank," he replied softly. Gerard's mom looked at Frank and nodded without a word, then headed out into the hall, taking off her suit jacket while going.  
Frank stared at Gerard with a questioning look.  
Gerard looked down to the ground then at Frank. "I would've said boyfriend," he whispered quietly, "but..." _'They still don't know.'_  
"I figured... its okay."  
Gerard looked down. "I'm sorry," he whispered.  
"Why? It's not a big deal."  
"It feels like it."  
"But it feels like I'm making you out as someone lesser than you are." He rolled his shoulders uncomfortably.  
Frank sighed and rolled his eyes. "It’s okay, Gerard, honestly."  
Gerard sighed and shrugged. "Do you want to head up to my room or something?"  
Frank nodded. "Sure."  
Gerard lightly took Frank's hand and led him up to his room, closing the door quietly behind him.  
Frank made his way to the bed and laid down, exhausted.  
Gerard sat on the edge of the bed and reached down, grabbing a sketch book. He snatched a pencil and eraser from his nightstand and lay down on the bed next to Frank and began to draw.  
Frank scooted closer to Gerard and peered at what he was drawing.  
Gerard, who was too focused on his drawing to notice Frank watching, was in the middle of sketching a picture of a rose.  
Frank raised an eyebrow and rested his head on Gerard's shoulder and closed his eyes.  
Gerard twitched in surprise and looked up at Frank, then smiled when he saw him resting. He continued to sketch quietly.  
Frank kept his eyes closed but whispered in Gerard's ear, "Draw me like one of your French girls." He barely got the words out before he started giggling like a little kid.  
Gerard's face burned. "Frankie!" he scolded, trying to look serious, but he couldn't keep back a smile.  
Frank smiled and kissed Gerard's cheek.  
Gerard blushed and kissed Frank back. "And in order to do a portrait like that, you'd have to pose stark naked," he quickly added before continuing to draw.  
"I'm down for it."  
Gerard blushed deeply. "Frank!"  
Frank laughed and feigned hurt. "What? You wouldn't want me to pose like that?"  
"Wh-- no, it's not like that," Gerard flustered, "I would but, I mean, no, wait, not like that, but I don't mean that in a rude way, but I..."  
"No, it's fine. You don't wanna see my ugly body. I see how it is. Don't worry; I won't make you witness that kind of terror."  
Gerard set down his notebook and wrapped his arms around Frank, leaning against him and giving him a kiss on the lips. "I bet you look _amazing_. I'm just afraid your good looks would distract me from drawing."  
Frank rolled his eyes. "You're so full of shit."  
Gerard kissed Frank again, leaning forward against him more. "Then prove it," he challenged, sure that would shut down Frank's game.  
Frank's eyes widened. "You want me to prove what?"  
"That I'm full of shit. Prove me _not_ finding you attractive." Gerard playfully smirked.  
"You want me to take my clothes off and watch you claw your eyes out?"  
Gerard blushed a little more. "Oh please. I saw you in only your underwear just a few days ago. Though I'm sure you avoided looking at me in my boxers."  
Frank laughed nervously. "I was just being polite."  
"Mm hm. Right." Gerard raised an eyebrow. "I think you're subtly trying to tell me to get toned."  
"What? No I'm not!"  
"Oh really? Seems like _you're_ the one full of shit."  
"Shit, Gerard. I wouldn't mind seeing you. I just didn't wanna be creepy and stare."  
Gerard blushed more and smirked. "The tables have really turned here, haven't they?"  
Frank half smiled. "I guess so."  
Gerard giggled a bit and snuggled up to Frank, resting his head on the younger male's shoulder.  
"What time is it?" Frank asked as he played with a lock of Gerard's hair.  
Gerard looked at his alarm clock. "Uhm... It's about eight. How come?"  
"Well I gotta shower and... well can I?"  
Gerard shrugged and pointed to the door on the left of the entrance. "There's my bathroom."  
"Oh. Thanks." Frank got up and went into the bathroom, undressed quickly, and got into the shower.  
Gerard lay down and relaxed on the bed, starting to doze off.  
When Frank finished his shower, he threw on the sweat pants he packed and laid next to Gerard, closing his eyes.  
Gerard opened his eyes and looked over at Frank. He scooted closer, flipped onto his side, and snuggled up closely to Frank, resting his head on the other's chest.  
"Goodnight," Frank mumbled.  
"Goodnight," Gerard whispered, smiling softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Frank finally gave in and let Gerard please him. Since this was a super long chapter, I'd like some reviews, please!


	12. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You let me violate you. You let me desecrate you.  
> You let me penetrate you. You let me complicate you.  
> (Help me...)  
> I broke apart my insides  
> (Help me...)  
> I've got no soul to sell  
> (Help me...)  
> The only thing that works for me. Help me get away from myself!
> 
> I wanna fuck you like an animal. I wanna feel you from the inside!  
> I wanna fuck you like an animal!  
> My whole existence is flawed!  
> You get me closer to God!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails

Frank sat at the regular spot in the courtyard, playing with his food and waiting for Gerard.  
Gerard trotted up to Frank and sat down by him. "Excited for tonight?"  
Frank's face lit up when he saw his boyfriend. "I'm stoked! Apparently a ton of people are going."  
Gerard's expression turned a bit nervous. "Oh?"  
"Mhm," Frank said, taking a bite of a baby carrot. "At least half the school."  
Gerard looked down nervously. "Ah..."  
"You okay?"  
"Just... a bit nervous. I'm not big on crowds."  
"You'll be fine. Just--" Before he could finish, Frank spotted Jamia across the courtyard. He smiled and waved her over, inviting her to sit down.  
Gerard's expression fell, and he felt a small twinge of jealousy. He looked down, quietly poking at his food.  
Jamia sat next to Frank, smiling. "Are you ready for tonight?" Frank nodded and added a "Hell yeah!" Jamia leaned over Frank to look at Gerard. "Hey! Why so quiet? You're Jared, right?"  
Gerard clenched his teeth slightly, but tried his best to be friendly. "Uhm... Gerard... and I'm just... a bit shy is all."  
"Oh, sorry, Gerard." Jamia turned her attention to Frank, asking questions about tonight and oddly, his opinion on what she should wear.  
Gerard poked more at his food, not eating, his jaw set, not bothering to look up. _'Why am I feeling so jealous? It's not like she's hitting on him. Is she? I can't tell.'_  
After a few minutes of conversing, Jamia excused herself by resting her hand on Frank's thigh and saying how she hopes he'll meet up with her at some point that night. When she left, Frank went right back to eating his lunch like nothing had happened.  
Gerard stood up. "I've gotta get to class," he mumbled, "The teacher asked me to come in early." He grabbed his bag and quickly started his way back to the school.  
Frank stared as Gerard walked away before looking at his watch and realizing they still had twenty minutes of lunch left. _'Weird.'_  
Gerard walked into the school and leaned against one of the lockers, his thoughts racing. He started to feel sick, his heart twisting.

  


* * *

Frank shook off the uneasy feeling he had and finished his lunch before getting up in search for someone to talk for the rest of the lunch hour.

  


* * *

Gerard dragged his feet to his next class, sitting outside the room, waiting for the teacher to get back.

  


* * *

Frank knocked on Gerard's door, waiting for someone to answer.  
A tall, well groomed man with sharp green eyes answered. He looked down at Frank with a slight glare. "Can I help you?" he asked. His voice was smooth and somewhat monotone, his lips pursed in a serious expression.  
Frank shifted uncomfortably. "Uhm... is Gerard here?"  
The man looked at Frank quietly for a few more moments. "You must be Frank." He turned around and walked inside, giving a beckon for Frank to follow.  
Frank stepped inside, quietly closing the door behind him.  
"Gerard!" the man shouted in a loud, sharp voice. "Downstairs, now!"  
Gerard made his way down the stairs swiftly. He peered into the entranceway. "Yes?" he asked in a calm, polite voice. His eyes showed a flash of surprise when he spotted Frank.  
Gerard's dad beckoned to Frank. "Your--" he cleared his throat, "-- _boyfriend_ is here."     Gerard walked out into the entranceway, wearing nice slacks and a jacket. He looked to his dad, then to Frank, his face almost expressionless. Gerard's dad turned and faced Frank. "Iero," he said, calling for the teen's attention.  
Frank stared for a moment before snapping back to reality. "Yes, sir?"  
Gerard's father looked straight into Frank's eyes. "I'm trusting you with my son, which means I'm putting my trust in you," he started. His voice became cold with the rest: "If he ends up in any sort of trouble, if he is hurt emotionally or physically, or if you dare break his heart, rest assured, you _will_ regret your negligence. I guarantee it." He turned and walked out of the entranceway and into the living room without another word.  
Frank stared, completely frozen, his heart beating wildly in his chest.  
Gerard softly cleared his throat. "Frank?"  
Frank blinked a few times and looked at Gerard. "Huh?"  
"Uhm... Are we going or?"  
"Oh, yeah." Frank opened the door and quickly walked out to the car before getting in.  
Gerard got himself into the passenger seat and buckled himself in. "Sorry... uhm... my dad-"  
"It's fine, don't worry about it." Frank started the car and began driving towards Jamia's house.  "So, you told your parents?"  
Gerard nodded quietly.  
"You didn't have to do that..."  
"What? Did you not want them to know?"  
"Why would I care if your parents know?"  
"You're acting like it's a problem."  
“It's not a problem...I'm guessing they took it well?"  
Gerard shrugged. "They weren't the happiest about it, but when my dad found out he was going to meet you, he seemed satisfied. I didn't expect him to give you any sort of talk, though."  
"Well, thanks for the warning," Frank said, pulling onto Jamia's street. He parked a few houses down since there were already about 20 cars in front of her house.  
"I didn't know he would do that," Gerard shot back with a slight growl.  
Frank turned in his seat to look at Gerard. "What the fuck is your problem?"  
Gerard unbuckled his seatbelt. "Nothing," he snapped, "you're the one who started getting an attitude." He turned away and reached to open the door.  
"I was fucking kidding!" Frank got out of the car, slamming the door behind him before starting towards the party.  
Gerard got out and closed the door with a slight slam and stalked towards the house.  
When Frank made it inside, he went straight for the kegs, downing 2 beers without a second thought.

  


* * *

Gerard looked around, spotting some bottles of wine. He looked to them in surprise. One of the half-drunk partygoers saw him eyeing them. "Those are up for grabs too, buddy!" they shouted before making their way around the party some more. Gerard walked to the wine bottles and pulled the cork out. When he didn't spot any wine glasses, he shrugged and started downing the bottle.

  


* * *

Frank grabbed another beer and went looking for Jamia. After circling the house twice, he finally found her in the basement. "Hey, great party," Frank said as he sat down next to her.     

"Thanks, did you bring anyone?"  
    "Yeah, I brought Gerard," Frank said before taking a drink from his cup, trying to ignore the fact that Jamia was scooting closer to him.  
"Oh, well, I guess you already know this but, I think you're the hottest guy in school," Jamia said, subtly making her way onto Frank's lap.  
"Ha, well, you're definitely the best looking girl." Before Frank could fix what he said, Jamia was wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

  


* * *

Gerard was downing another bottle of wine when a few people started crowding around. "Whoa, man, how many have you got down?" someone asked.  
"Sssssixxx I th-thin-k," Gerard slurred, grabbing another bottle.  
More people started to crowd around, a few people calling others to come see. One guy swung open the basement door. "Hey!" he yelled, "That Way kid is putting down his weight's worth of wine! I think he's finishing his seventh bottle!"  
Frank put his hands on Jamia's shoulders and gently pushed her away. "Shit, I gotta go," he said before quickly running up the stairs. He didn't have to look hard to find what he was searching for. A huge crowd was gathered in the living room around one person. Frank fought his way through to the center of the circle and spotted Gerard. "What the fuck?"  
Gerard was halfway through his eighth bottle when he looked at Frank. He stumbled over a bit, giving him a slight push. "You're... an asssshole, F-Frank," he giggled. "No, no, I'm jo-king. Sssee, i's funny 'cauzzze i'sa jo-ke." He stumbled back a bit and tripped his head back, downing the rest of the wine.  
Frank snatched the bottle from Gerard’s hands and set it on the ground. "Gerard, come on, you’re drunk, let me take you home."  
Gerard stumbled forward and wrapped his arms around Frank's shoulders. "Frankie baby, I'm just a _little_ lush... Nothing much." He shoved his face into the other's chest and breathed in, running his hands up Frank's sides. "Haaas anyone ever told you that you have a niccce body? 'Cause you do. You have a _sexy_ body."  
Frank felt his cheeks start to burn red. He grabbed Gerard’s arms and put them at his sides. "Gerard, stop, you’re not thinking straight."  
Gerard pushed up against Frank, wrapping his arms around his chest again. "Oh I'm th-in-king alright," he giggled as he started kissing Frank's neck.  
Frank tried to push Gerard off, but he couldn’t, so he pushed against him until they made it to the back of the house, ignoring the stares as they walked by.  
Gerard gripped onto the front of Frank's shirt. "Th-the upst-tair roomsss are emp-ty," Gerard suggested, kissing Frank's cheek a few times.  
"Fine, I’ll take you upstairs but you have to sleep." Frank grabbed Gerard’s arm and pulled him up the stairs and into a room, locking the door behind them.  
Gerard's knees buckled, causing him to stumble a bit and cling to Frank's leg.  
 Frank sighed, "Gerard, come on…"  
"Ta-ke me to beeed."  
Frank rolled his eyes and picked Gerard up, leading him towards the bed.  
Gerard started to fall backwards onto the bed, but grabbed Frank's shoulders and pulled him down with him.  
"God dammit, Gerard. Stop it."  
Gerard started kissing Frank on the cheek. "Frankie wha-t'sss wrong?" he whispered.  
"You’re drunk and you’re being a pain in the ass."  
Gerard giggled, unfazed. "I told you I'm not drunk... just a tad bit lush."  
"You’re full of shit."  
Gearard giggled more and hugged Frank tightly, burying his face in his neck. "You're funny, Frankie."  
"Oh, yeah, I’m fucking hilarious," Frank said, rolling his eyes.  
Gerard started kissing Frank's neck again. "Hey Frankie, guess what you should do."  
"What should I do?"  
Gerard leaned up and whispered in Frank's ear, "Fuck me."  
Frank’s eyes widened as he forced a nervous laugh. "You’re only saying that because you’re drunk."  
"I want you to fuck me hard," he whispered in Frank's ear as he bucked his hips forward, pressing up against Frank.  
Frank bit his lip, trying hard not to let out a moan. "Gerard, stop…"  
Gerard ran a hand through Frank's hair and whispered, "I wanna feel you inside me." He wrapped his legs around Frank's.  
"No, you wouldn’t even be saying any of this if you weren’t drunk."  
Gerard started rubbing his hips against Frank's. "Because I'd be too shy to... I'm just breaking out a bit... Please, Frankie baby?"  
"No... I don’t think we’re ready yet."  
"Oh, I'm ready," Gerard whispered, pulling Frank closer. He leaned up to the other's ear. "I felt how big you are. I wanna feel that in me."  
Frank shivered at hearing Gerard’s words. "Gerard, no..."  
"I want you to fuck me as hard as you can. I want you to shove your giant cock inside of me and fuck me into oblivion."  
"You’re not being fair."  
Gerard pushed his hips against Frank's more. "Frank," he moaned seductively into his ear, "Fuck me."  
Frank couldn’t take it anymore and finally gave in as he started to grind back against Gerard. Gerard's head fell back on the bed as he let out a moan. He started to work at his pants, beginning to slide them off.  
Frank sat up and took off Gerard’s shoes and slid his pants down for him, leaving him completely exposed. "Take off your shirt," he said as he began to take off this own clothes.  
Gerard obeyed and unzipped his jacket, throwing it down on the floor. He then took off his shirt, tossing it to the side as well. He leaned back on his elbows while watching Frank with a seductive smirk.  
As Frank undressed, he caught Gerard staring, causing him to blush a deep red. He pushed his clothes onto the floor before climbing on top of Gerard, kissing his neck.  
Gerard let out a whine-like moan, turning his head slightly to expose more of his skin.  
Frank began to suck on Gerard’s neck lightly, running his hands up and down his sides. Gerard began panting heavily, letting out a small whine at the feeling. Frank sucked harder, his tongue occasionally dashing out and licking the soft skin of Gerard’s neck. Gerard licked his lips before letting out another moan and lifting his hips forward.  
Frank traced his tongue from Gerard’s neck, across his jaw, finally reaching his lips, kissing Gerard deeply.  
Gerard kissed back, pushing and twisting and tangling his tongue up, around, and against Frank's.  
Frank pulled away and sat up. “Uhm... can I... prepare you?” Frank asked, immediately embarrassed by his words.  
"Do whatever you want to me, baby," Gerard whispered, running his hands through Frank's hair.  
Frank nodded and stuck two fingers into his mouth, using his spit as a natural lube before spreading Gerard’s legs slightly and slowly inserting his fingers.  
Gerard let a whimper pass through his lips. "Frankie... Ohh..."  
Frank pushed his fingers in and out a few times before carefully inserting a third finger.  
Gerard let out a whine and winced a bit, twisting slightly, but continuing to pant.  
Frank continued to finger Gerard for a while before looking up at him. "Do you think you’re ready?"  
Gerard nodded, his eyes closed, as he continued to pant, mouth open slightly.  
Frank pulled his fingers out and sat back. "Spread your legs wider."  
Gerard quietly obeyed, his hips pushing upwards slightly as he spread his legs wider.  
Frank paused for a moment, staring at Gerard, enjoying the fact that he could actually see him. He reached for a pillow at the top of the bed and tucked it under Gerard’s hips for support and scooted closer. “Are you sure you’re ready?”  
Gerard opened his eyes slightly, looking at Frank. "Yes," he whispered, licking his lips. Frank nodded and spit in his hand, stroking himself a few times before scooting as close as he could to Gerard, pushing into him slowly.  
Gerard gasped, screwing his eyes shut, before letting out a quiet moan. "Oh... Frank..."  
Frank held onto Gerard’s hips and pushed into Gerard fully, biting his lip as he went.  
Gerard let out a loud moan, twisting a little and slightly wincing. He continued to pant and whimper a bit, digging his fingers into the bed. Frank pushed in and out a few times before beginning to thrust slowly.  
Gerard's panting became heavier and faster, unable to keep back his moans, as he felt his back arch forward. "Frankie... Ohh yes..."  
Frank moaned quietly as he began to thrust harder as he reached a hand down, wrapping it around Gerard’s cock before stroking him in time with his thrusts.  
Gerard clenched his teeth and grabbed onto the bed, letting out another moan. "Yes... Oh fuck... Frank!"  
Frank leaned down and sucked on Gerard’s nipple as he continued to stroke him.  
Gerard panted faster, making quiet noises every time Frank would thrust, an occasional loud moan escaping every so often.  
Frank straightened back up and began to thrust deeper, trying to find Gerard’s prostate. “Fuck, Gerard, you’re so tight... so perfect.”  
Gerard clenched his teeth again, but couldn't hold back a loud whimper-like moan, his body twisting slightly as a deep feeling of pleasure washed over him.  
Frank paused a moment when he heard Gerard, then began to thrust again, hitting the same spot, hoping he’d make that noise again.  
Gerard threw his head back, letting out another whimpery moan. "Oh God, Frank," he moaned. "That feels so good!"  
Frank continued to thrust in the same spot as he stroked Gerard faster, unable to hold back his moans.  
Gerard continued to make the noise as Frank thrust into him, his pants becoming breathless, mouth open wide. "Frank..." He could barely moan the name through his short, heavy breaths and groans.  
Frank began to thrust harder, feeling a burning around his hips. "Fuck, Gerard! I’m so close…"  
Gerard let out a loud, shaky whine. "Me too... Oh God... Don't stop," he begged between his pants and moans.  
Frank began to thrust harder and faster as he reached his climax, shouting out a slew of curses as he came.  
Gerard bit down on his bottom lip as Frank's thrusting became somewhat violent, whimpering slightly. His pants became desperate gasps, his throat tightening a bit as he let out a whine, feeling himself tightening, then shuddering in release  
 Frank thrust a few more times, letting Gerard ride out his orgasm before he pulled out, releasing Gerard’s cock before falling onto bed next to him.  
Gerard tried to settle his breath, which was choppy and shaky. He laid without a word, taking in what had just happened, his eyes closed as his mind raced.  
Frank lay on his back, quietly staring at the ceiling, occasionally glancing at Gerard.  
When his breath was finally a little more stable and his thoughts slowed, Gerard opened his eyes halfway, looking up at the ceiling. He quietly moved his hand over and placed it on Frank's, closing his eyes again slowly.  
Frank thought for a moment before getting up, dressing quickly, and heading out of the room to find a bathroom.  
Gerard opened his eyes when Frank left and sat up. Rising his head, the world immediately began spinning while his head pounded. He screwed his eyes shut and held his head for a few minutes, feeling his stomach turn. He pulled on his clothes as best he could and stumbled to the door. When he felt the sharp pain in his stomach, he immediately darted to the nearest bathroom, nearly missing the toilet, and tossing about half of the wine he'd drank.  
A few minutes later, Frank came back upstairs and saw the light on down the hall. He headed down and saw Gerard and rushed to his side, wiping the hair from Gerard’s face. "Fuck, Gerard, are you okay?"  
Gerard tried to keep himself standing by holding himself up on the sink counter. "I-I think I d-drank... t-too much," he stumbled, feeling his gut twist again. He doubled over and upturned more of his binged wine, his throat burning.  
"Well, no shit? The only good part about all this is that tomorrow you won’t be able to remember how bad I was."  
Gerard panted, his stomach finally setting a bit. He carefully set down the lid and flushed, panting a bit from the stomach spasm. He was so dizzy and lightheaded that he barely caught what Frank said, unable to think up any response. His body ached from exhaustion. "I-I'm tired," he whimpered softly.  
Frank nodded and helped Gerard stand up. "Jamia said we can crash here, come on," Frank said as he led them both back to the bedroom.  
Gerard stumbled slightly. He was so out of it that he didn't bristle like he did before at the sound of the girl's name. He could barely keep his eyes open throughout the small walk to the room. Frank helped Gerard to the bed and turned to head out of the room.  
Gerard grabbed Frank's wrist lightly. "Sleep with me?" he asked.  
Frank sighed and laid down next to Gerard.  
Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank and lightly rested his head on Frank's shoulder. He softly closed his eyes and was asleep within moments.

  


* * *

Frank was woken up by the sound of someone knocking loudly on the door. Gerard shifted slightly, still asleep. Frank got up and stumbled to the door to find Jamia.  
"Sorry, guys, but my parents are going to be home soon, you gotta go."  
Gerard shifted more. "Frankie?" he whimpered, struggling to lift his head. "My head hurts... and my throat... and thighs... and ass." He tried to pull himself up but ended up sliding back down.  
Jamia gazed questioningly at Frank. “He uh... fell on his ass last night.” Jamia nodded, wanting to believe him and headed down the hall.  
"Fell? The fuck are you talking about?" Gerard grumbled, raising his head and looking at Frank, his head pounding. A sudden rush of panic and anger hit him. "Oh, what, are you ashamed of what happened or something?" he snapped, his voice rising, stumbling out of bed. "I fucking give myself to you and suddenly you're _ashamed_? You sure didn't seem ashamed last night! You seemed to be enjoying yourself! What, am I just your little fucking _toy_ or something?!" He shoved Frank, failing to do much other than collapse to his hands and knees and whimper a bit, tearing up.  
Frank sighed heavily. "I'm _not_ ashamed!"  
"You're acting like it!" Gerard shouted back, wrapping his arms around himself and hunching over, starting to sob. "Why did I ever fucking bother to ask you out? Why the fuck did you even say yes? You don't love me! No one loves a fucking _freak_ like me! Why am I even surprised that you're ashamed?!"  
Frank kneeled down and put a hand on Gerard's knee. "Gerard, I'm not ashamed of what we did and I wouldn't have done it if I didn't love you... you're not thinking clearly."  
Gerard shoved Frank away, turning his head. "Yeah right, you never even let anyone know we're dating," he shouted though his sobs, "You don't fucking love me!"  
"I do love you! You're just being emotional right now!"  
"Then prove it!" Gerard snapped, "Because right now, everyone seems to think you're fair game!"  
Right as Frank was about to say something, Jamia appeared in the doorway. "What's going on in here? Why are you yelling?"  
"Oh, _you_ would like to fucking know!" Gerard snarled. "I'm sure Frank hasn't told you, either!"  
Jamia's brow furrowed in confusion. "What hasn't he told me?"  
Frank sighed and looked to the floor.  
"Go on, Frank! If you aren't ashamed, fucking prove it!"  
"I uh..." Frank looked from Gerard, to Jamia, and back again. "I gotta go." Frank stood up, shoved past Jamia, and ran downstairs.  
Gerard got up and stumbled past Jamia, grumbling under his breath something about his love going to waste, and made his way down the stairs.  
Frank was standing by the door when he saw Gerard. "I gotta take you home... let's go."  
Gerard shot Frank a glare. "Why take me home? Just take me to the nearest bridge and let me jump off!" Gerard snarled. "Ha, you said you loved me, you fucking liar. Just get rid of me already and go run off with your little _girlfriend_ up there!"  
"Just shut the fuck up and get to the car," Frank growled.  
"No, fuck you!" Gerard barked back. "Oh wait, we already did! Too bad you're fucking ashamed of that!" He shoved past Frank and stormed out the door and started to walk in a random direction away from Jamia's house, stumbling from time to time.  
Frank hurried after Gerard and grabbed his arm tightly. "Get in the car! I don't want to deal with this right now!"  
"Of course you don't! Why would anyone want to fucking deal with me?!" Gerard pulled his arm away roughly. "Well, you don't have to fucking worry about me! I'll make sure no one has to worry about me ever again!" He started to stalk away again.  
Frank grabbed Gerard's arm again, harder this time. "Stop being so damn dramatic!"  
"Dramatic?! You're the one making it obvious that you regret being with me! Give me one good reason not to blow my fucking brain out!"  
"Because I love you! I don't regret anything! I need you."  
Gerard sunk down to his knees and started choking out sobs. "Then why didn't you say anything? Why did you just run away? Is it that hard to say 'That's my boyfriend'? Am I that much of an embarrassment?"  
Frank sat next to Gerard and wrapped his arms around him. "You're not an embarrassment... it has nothing to do with you."  
"Yes it does!" Gerard snapped, still crying. "If you can't even tell someone you're dating me, how do you expect me not to think you're ashamed or embarrassed or that you regret being with me?!"  
"I just don't see why I have to go around with a 'Gerard's property' sign on my forehead."  
"That's not the point! Do you think I'm retarded or something?! It's obvious that chick has been flirting with you, I'm not fucking blind!"  
"Who fucking cares? It's not like I ever flirt back!"  
"I care! If anyone ever tried to flirt with me -- not that anyone ever fucking would -- I'd let them know I wasn't fucking single! Why should I lead them along and take in that kind of attention?! It's inconsiderate to the person, making them believe they have a chance, as well as to whoever I'm with! It's like their attention isn't enough of something!"  
"It's not like I flirt back! Why are you so fucking jealous of a _girl_?"  
"Because I don't want to lose you to someone else!" Gerard shouted, looking Frank in the eyes, an expression of pain and fear twisted on his face. "Because... I'm afraid you'll find someone else," he continued, his voice a scratchy whimper. "and you won't love me anymore."  
"You're not going to lose me to someone else."  
Gerard hung his head and shook it helplessly. "I have nothing to offer... There's nothing that sets me apart from anyone else. There's no way I can best anyone else. How am I supposed to keep the greatest thing that's ever happened to me around when I can't give you anything in return? You have no benefit with me."  
"I never asked for anything in return... and you're better for me than anyone else. No one else wants to put up with me."  
"There's nothing to 'put up with' with you... You're handsome, funny, charismatic... what do you gain from me? Nothing... because I am nothing."  
"You're everything to me, though."  
Gerard continued to sob. "But what if someone else becomes everything to you? Then I'll be nothing again."  
Frank hugged Gerard tightly. "That's not gonna happen... you're never going to be nothing."  
"I was nothing until you came around."  
"No you weren't... that's impossible."  
"Yes I was... I had no friends... my brother was forced to deal with me, and the only reason Ray stuck around me was because I was always with Mikey. My own fucking parents didn't even care that I existed... If I'd died... no one would've cared... no one cared."  
"Well, that's in the past... don't think about it."  
"But if I lose you, the past will just repeat itself, and I'll be nothing again."  
"You're not going to lose me!"  
"There's nothing for me to offer... It's only a matter of time before you find someone better... and I'll just be a regret of your past."  
"Shut up. You're spewing bullshit and you're hung over and you need to get home."  
Gerard's head fell onto Frank's shoulder, his cries a little more calm, but still obvious. "See? You know it's the truth. You just don't want to say so."  
"It isn't the truth! Stop arguing with me!"  
Gerard shook his head sadly and continued to cry.  
"Gerard, come on, let's go."  
Gerard weakly grabbed onto Frank's shoulders for support to get up, his ankles feeling nonexistent when he tried to stand.  
Frank stood up and supported Gerard as they walked slowly to the car.  
Gerard dragged his feet, barely able to walk, still crying a bit silently, his head bowed in shame.  
When they reached the car, Frank unlocked it and helped him in before walking to the other side and getting in. Gerard slumped down in his seat, not looking up, letting his tears fall onto his lap quietly.  
Frank started the car and began to drive, not saying a word.Gerard sat, deathly silent, staring blankly at the dashboard in front of him. Frank pulled in front of Gerard's house a little while later. "We're here."  
Gerard fumbled with the door handle, unable to get a grip of it. Frank sighed and got out and opened the door for Gerard.  
Gerard stumbled out, landing on his hands and knees. He tried pulling himself up, but ended up almost face planting into the concrete.  
"Jesus Christ, Gerard." Frank leaned down and picked up Gerard and slowly made his way to the porch.  
Gerard stumbled and slumped up against the door with a loud _thud!_  
"Do you have your key?"  
Gerard shook his head, but it didn't matter, because the door unlocked and Gerard's mom opened it, causing Gerard to fall down onto her feet. She looked down at him in shock. "Gerard?" He looked up at her, and the older woman's expression immediately twisted into a mix of hurt and shame. She let out a broken sigh. "Not again." She grabbed her son lightly from under his arms and pulled him up. He stumbled a little more and leaned up against her. She put an arm lightly around him and looked up at Frank with a sad expression. "Thanks for bringing him home, Frank," she thanked, her lips curved slightly in an attempt to smile.  
"Uhm... yeah, no problem. Do you got it from here? If you need help-"  
Gerard's mom shook her head sadly. "We need help, but there's nothing you could do about it." She looked Frank straight in the eyes. "Just... try to keep him safe. God knows we've failed to do that."  
Frank nodded and looked back to the car. "Well, I gotta be going home. Sorry for everything." Frank turned and hurried back to the car and drove away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long one, but I think it was worth it this time, eh? Good things happened. Reviews are welcome!


	13. Slow Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slow ride, take it easy  
> Slow down, go down  
> Got to get your lovin' one more time  
> Hold me, roll me  
> Slow ridin' baby, you're so fine
> 
> I'm in the mood  
> The rhythm is right  
> Move to the music, yeah  
> We can roll all night, yeah
> 
> Slow ride, take it easy  
> Slow ride, take it easy  
> Slow down, go down  
> Got to get your lovin' one more time  
> Hold me, roll me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Slow Ride" by Foghat  
> In case you didn't realize, that song is about having sex in a car (hint hint).

Gerard sat quietly on the steps in the courtyard, staring down quietly at his feet.

Frank came outside and looked around and spotted Gerard. He walked over to him, stuffing his hands into his pockets along the way. "Mind if I sit down?"

Gerard shrugged. "If you want," he answered, not bothering to look up.

"Thanks." Frank sat down, away from Gerard. "So, how did the rest of your weekend go?"

"Well, I'm going to my correctional therapy sessions again."

"Oh? What does that entail?"

"Well, they're trying to keep me from 'going back to my old habits'. Just because I got slammed Friday," Gerard sighed.

"Well that's good. You don't react well to alcohol."

"Frank." Gerard looked up at Frank, straight in the eyes. "I don't think you understand how people in my family work when drunk."

"Well, I know you turn into a sex fiend before turning into an emotional mess."

"No, Frank, I don't have a _filter_ ," Gerard sighed and looked at the ground. "If I was a flirty drunk, I would've been flirting with a bunch of other people. When I'm drunk, there's no filter between my thoughts and my words. And I lose self-consciousness. To put it simply, I'm just extremely blunt."

"You're also very pushy," Frank pointed out as he stared out at the courtyard, watching other people actually enjoying their time away from class.

Gerard sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Doesn't matter. What's done is done."

Gerard was silent for a moment. "I understand if you hate me after what happened."

Frank scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I don't hate you."

"I'm surprised you don't. I said a lot of things I shouldn't have. And I feel like I forced you into doing some things you didn't want to do."

"Like I said, what's done is done. No going back and changing anything."

Gerard was silent, back to staring at the ground. "I'm sorry. I'm not a very good boyfriend."

"You are, you just have bad moments," Frank said as he played with the hem of his shirt.

"Don't try and cover up the basic facts," Gerard sighed. "I'm a shitty boyfriend."

"What do you want me to say? Oh, yes, Gerard, you're a shit boyfriend, let's break up."

Gerard fell silent again. "That's what I was waiting to happen. I don't see any point of you putting yourself through my shit."

Frank struggled to keep his voice even. "Is that what you want?"

"No. But I figured it's what you would want."

"I just want you to be happy and safe and everything."

"I am, with you. But, I don't want to hold you down."

"I... I don't know. M-maybe we need time apart," Frank suggested.

Gerard was silent, staring at the ground.

Frank looked over. "Gerard? Say something..."

"I don't know what to say. I'm not forcing you to stay with me. I just want you happy."

"Maybe we both need to think things over."

"I've done my thinking."

"And?"

"And I'm not making the decision for you. Because I don't want to break up. But, it's your choice."

Frank sighed heavily. "I'm just used to guys leaving after they got what they wanted. That's partly why I didn't wanna go all the way yet. I wasn't ready to lose you."

Gerard looked down at the ground quietly. "I was afraid if I went too slowly, you'd get bored and leave me. That's why I got so jealous with Jamia."

"Jamia is beautiful and amazing and I really like her but, she's nothing compared to you."

Gerard fell quiet again, his gaze focused on the ground in front of him.

Frank scooted slightly closer to Gerard. "Talk."

"I don't know what to say. I think I said enough after the party. Too much if you ask me."

Frank sighed and stood up. "Fine. I'm going inside." He turned and began walking back to the school.

"Frank, wait."

"What?"

"No matter what happens... I'll still love you."

Frank nodded and slowly walked inside.

* * *

Gerard slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way out of the school.

Frank walked outside and stopped in mid-step when he saw Gerard.

Gerard was by the oak tree, talking with Mikey, Ray standing beside the younger brother, nodding silently.

Frank hesitated a moment before walking to the group. "Hey, guys."

Gerard looked up. "U-uhm... hey, Frank." He looked to the ground with a tired expression.

Frank shifted uncomfortably. "So uh... what were you guys talking about?"

"Well, I was just letting Ray know about my parents' new, uhm... 'rules'," Gerard sighed.

"Oh, what are they?" Frank glanced quickly over at Mikey who had yet to say a word.

"Well, the rules are for _me_ , but, I have to go straight home from school. Check in every hour with my mom. I'm not allowed to stay over at anyone's house. No parties. Someone has to be home with me -- my mom, dad, or Mikey -- if I have a friend over. Oh, and I'm not allowed to drive now." Gerard gave a ragged sigh. "But you guys can still hang with Mikey. _I'm_ the one in trouble."

"Wow, Gee, you really fucked up."

"I know."

"So, does this mean we only see each other at school?"

"Unless Mikey or my parents are home, yeah... pretty much. At least until they lift the rules and I'm not sure how long that'll be."

Frank sighed and looked at his watch. "Shit, I gotta go, I have plans... I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Gerard nodded silently. "Okay. Bye, Frank." He looked up at Frank, his eyes full of sadness and quiet brokenness.

Frank half smiled and made his way to the parking lot, getting into the passenger side of a car before it drove away.

Gerard quietly watched Frank leave, then sighed sadly and made his way to the car.

* * *

 Frank stood, leaning up against the school, cigarette in hand, waiting for the doors to open.

Gerard walked up to the school and watched as his mom drove off. He made his way up to the doors when he spotted Frank. He looked down to the ground and walked up quietly, not sure of anything to say.

"Hey, Gerard," Frank said as he blew out some smoke.

Gerard looked up slightly, silently taking note of Frank's smoking, which he hadn't realized until then. "Hey Frank," he answered softly. "How was the rest of your day?"

"It was great," Frank answered, smiling. "How about you?"

Gerard faked a smile. "That's good. I stayed home... y'know, the whole house arrest thing." He fell quiet for a few moments. "What all did you do yesterday?"

"Jamia took me into the city to get something. I'm surprised you haven't noticed anything different."

Gerard blinked. "I don't pick up well on details in the morning," he mumbled, bristling a bit, but swallowing it down. "What'd you get?"

Frank turned and faced Gerard, pointing to a new silver lip ring. "I lost my old one forever ago and Jamia drove me to get one since I don't know the area well."

Gerard stared at the piercing itself, then at Frank, an old feeling of attraction stirring inside him. He smiled. "It looks good on you," he complimented.

Frank smiled. "Thanks," he said as he took another drag off his cigarette.

Gerard stared a bit more at Frank and dared to walk closer, standing shyly by his side.

Frank tossed the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it before turning to look at Gerard.

Gerard looked up at Frank, only slightly lifting his head. ' _Say something, damn it!_ ' his thoughts snapped, but he couldn't think of anything to say.

Frank hesitated a moment before resting a hand on Gerard's hip, still not saying a word.

Gerard blushed and leaned up against Frank, resting his head slightly on Frank's shoulder with a small smile.

Frank tightened his hold on Gerard's hip and leaned in and gently sucked on his neck.

Gerard's eyes widened and he blushed even harder. He closed his eyes and tried to steady his breath a little.

Frank sucked harder and stuck his free hand under Gerard's shirt. Gerard gave out a tiny, quiet whine.

Frank quickly pulled away when he heard the heavy doors of the school being opened.

Gerard pulled up his collar, trying to hide the mark now on his neck, blushing and looking shyly to the ground, pressing closely to Frank's side.

Frank laughed quietly. "Wanna head to class?"

Gerard looked at Frank and smiled. "Sure," he nodded, suddenly feeling a lot better.

Frank reached down and held Gerard's hand as they walked to class. Gerard tightened his grip slightly, looking up a little. The school was fairly empty. They were some of the first students there. "I wonder if the classroom is even unlocked yet," he thought out loud.

"It probably is," Frank said as they neared the classroom doors.

"Hopefully no one else is in there."

"Why?" Frank pushed open the door and set his bag down by his seat.

"Because I don't wanna deal with stupid people right now." Gerard walked in, giving a small sigh of relief when his hopes were confirmed true.

"You okay?" Frank hopped up onto one of the tables, his feet dangling over the edge.

Gerard looked up at Frank. "Huh? Yeah... just... not sure how the teacher is gonna deal with me today." He hoisted himself up on the table next to Frank, leaning slightly on him.

"He shouldn't be bothering you after what you said."

"Depends on whether or not he took me seriously," Gerard shrugged. "Ah well..." He pressed up next to Frank, resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure he'll leave you alone," Frank said, resting a hand on Gerard's thigh.

Gerard snuggled closer. "Hopefully."

Frank looked at his watch. "Fifteen minutes to go, why do I make myself come so early?"

"I dunno. I'm going to be getting to school early from now on, though, so... it's not like _I_ mind."

"Can't Mikey or Ray drive you?"

"Mikey has a weird thing about driving. I don't know why. And I don't want to force Ray to wake up early," Gerard shrugged. "I don't mind if it means seeing you before school."

Frank smiled. "Well, at least I won't have to hang out with the cheerleaders anymore."

Gerard kissed Frank on the cheek and snuggled closely.

Frank heard a hoard of footsteps coming down the hall so he hopped off the desk and hurried to his seat.

Gerard watched Frank, feeling a small twinge of disappointment, but jumped off the desk and sat next to Frank, pushing his seat closer.

Frank shot Gerard a smile before turning his attention to his notebook as students began to file into the classroom.

Gerard grabbed his notebook and put it out on the desk before pulling out his sketchbook.

"Gerard, you shouldn't push it with the sketchbook..."

Gerard looked up at Frank. "What? Class hasn't even started yet. My stuff is out; we're free to do what we want until class starts."

Frank sighed and shook his head. Just a minute later, Mr. Sherwaul walked in, staring Gerard down as he made his way to his desk.

Gerard looked up, shooting a glare at Mr. Sherwaul, but remained silent. He quietly put his sketchbook back into his bag as everyone took their seats.

Mr. Sherwaul smirked when Gerard put away the book, and began his lecture.

Gerard's gazed at Mr. Sherwaul for most of the class, his eyes filled with an unfazed, bored expression. ' _Go ahead and let him think he won,_ ' he told himself. ' _He's dead wrong._ '

Right after class ended, Frank gathered up his stuff and waited in the hall for Gerard.

Gerard packed up his things and walked into the hall, trotting up to Frank and kissing him on the cheek.

"I'll see you at lunch," Frank said with a smile before heading down the hall.

"Wait!" Gerard called and ran up to Frank, giving him a big hug. "See you," he whispered before going to his next class.

* * *

Frank stood by a tree, waiting for Gerard. He lit up a cigarette, hoping it would ease his nerves.

Gerard walked outside, looking around for Frank. He spotted him standing away from the lunch tables. ' _Odd,_ ' he thought to himself, and walked over shyly. "Hey, Frank," he said with a smile, looking a bit worried. ' _He looks like he has something on his mind,_ ' he noted.

"Hey," Frank said, tossing his cigarette to the ground. "How were your other classes?"

Gerard shrugged. "They were alright, just kind of boring," he answered. "Yours?"

"Same." Frank looked around nervously. "You're not super hungry are you?"

Gerard blinked. "Not really," he admitted. "How come? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just come with me." Frank grabbed Gerard by the arm and quickly walked to the parking lot.

Gerard followed -- well, was half following, half _dragged_ by -- Frank. "Where are we going?" he asked in surprise and confusion.

"My dad had the day off and let me drive his van to school." Frank stopped when he reached a huge, red van. He unlocked it and waited for Gerard to say something.

"Van?" Gerard repeated, staring at the vehicle and blinking. "So, uhm... did you just... want to show me it? Or?"

"Kinda..." Frank pulled Gerard around the back and opened the doors before shoving Gerard inside. "I just didn't want to be in the school," Frank said, climbing in and shutting the doors behind him.

Gerard blushed slightly at Frank's force, and shifted into a more comfortable position. He looked around. "Well... it's pretty roomy in here," he remarked. He looked closely at the windows. "Wait... Are the windows tinted?"

Frank nodded and climbed on top of Gerard. "I didn't want to be in school when I did this..." He kissed Gerard and started to undo his belt.

Gerard gasped and blushed deeply as his arms wrapped around Frank. He kissed back gently, feeling his heart start pounding in his chest.

When Frank got Gerard's pant undone, he pushed them down, leaving him totally exposed.

Gerard started to pant lightly, feeling himself grow slightly dizzy. "F-Frank... what if we get caught?"

"We won't get caught." Frank moved down Gerard's body and wrapped his fingers lightly around his cock.

Gerard started to pant more, his quick breaths drowning out any sort of protest he could try. His head fell back as his eyes started to slowly close.

Frank stroked Gerard a few times before bending down and running his tongue over the head of his cock.

Gerard gasped and let out a moan as he felt Frank's warm tongue run across the sensitive skin. Frank looked up at Gerard as he took his cock into his mouth fully.

Biting down on his lip softly, Gerard emitted a small whine, feeling his back arch slightly. Frank reached up and rubbed Gerard's chest as he began to suck gently.

Gerard whimpered a little, reaching down and placing his hands lightly on Frank's head, his fingers looping around a few of his hairs.

Frank sucked harder, his hand giving a small squeeze to the base of Gerard's cock. Gerard moaned again. "Frank, God damn it..."

Frank removed his hand and deep throated Gerard, humming around his cock as he went down. Gerard breathed in heavily and moaned loudly, feeling a shudder pass through him.

Frank pulled off a bit and placed his hand around what part of Gerard's cock he couldn't reach and began stroking him quickly.

Gerard clenched his teeth, starting to feel himself tighten around his hips. "Fuck... Frank!"

Frank tightened his grip around Gerard and sucked harder and faster, his cheeks hollowing out. Gerard let out another whine, feeling his hips buck forward. "So close... oh, God..."

Frank deep throated Gerard again, gently scraping his teeth along the shaft. Gerard panted heavily and moaned as he felt himself cum. He lightly threaded his fingers through Frank's hair and let his head fall back, breathing lightly.

Frank kept sucking until he felt Gerard relax. He pulled off and sat up against the van door, breathing heavily.

Gerard stayed still for a few minutes, trying to even out his breathing. He opened his eyes half way and stared at the van ceiling. "Well that was... unexpected," he panted, looking to Frank and giving a small smirk.

"Yeah, well, I just wanted to try it."

"Well, it's not like I _mind_." Gerard ducked his head shyly. "It just... surprised me is all."

Frank laughed. "That's me, full of surprises."

Gerard giggled a bit, feeling himself blush. "I guess you'll just keep me on my toes."

"Or on your back," Frank winked.

Gerard blushed more. "Frank!" he scolded with a giggle and a shy smile.

Frank looked at his watch. "Hey, we gotta go, pull your pants up."

Gerard nodded and did such, flipping himself up to his knees. He then inches forward and wrapped his arms around Frank in a tight hug.

Frank smiled and hugged back. "I love you."

"I love you too, Frankie," Gerard answered softly, smiling and nuzzling Frank's neck gently.

"Babe, we really gotta go to class," Frank said, reaching for the door handle.

Gerard nodded and slowly let go of Frank, pulling away gently. "Uhm... maybe I'll see you this afternoon?"

"Aren't you still on house arrest?"

Gerard nodded and shrugged. "But I don't have to call my mom until three. That's a half hour I can have to just, y'know... talk and stuff." He helped open the door. "But if Mikey is going home with me, you can, too."

"I'll see, but I have to get the car home so I don't get in trouble." Frank helped Gerard out of the car and locked it before heading back to the school.

Gerard nodded. "Well, if all else fails, we'll see each other tomorrow... right?"

"Of course." Frank kissed Gerard's cheek and held open the door to the school.

Gerard smiled and gave a polite nod before walking in. He looked back and waited for Frank.

Frank stepped in and walked with Gerard until they had to go separate ways. "So, I'll try to see you later."

Gerard kissed Frank's cheek and gave him a quick hug. "Just do what you can."

"Okay! I'll meet you by the oak." Frank turned and hurried down the hall. Gerard waved and headed down to his next class.


	14. I'll Admire Your Expensive Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanna live a life from a new perspective  
> You come along because I love your face  
> And I'll admire your expensive taste  
> And who cares divine intervention  
> I wanna be praised from a new perspective  
> But leaving now would be a good idea  
> So catch me up on getting out of here
> 
> Can we fast-forward till you go down on me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "New Perspective" by Panic! At The Disco

Frank was leaning against the school, ear buds in, waiting for Gerard when his car pulled up, and Gerard stepped out, grabbing his bag. Before he turned to the school, he seemed to have his attention taken by the driver. He looked up at Frank, his expression purely confused. "Frank," he called. "Can you come here for a second?"

Frank nodded and took out his ear buds and stuffed them into his pocket. He walked up to the car and adjusted his bag. "Uhm... need help with something?"

The driver -- Gerard's father -- cleared his throat and leaned over, peering out and looking at Frank, his gaze still piercing like before. "Iero," he began. "Do you have plans tonight?"

Frank blinked a few times before answering, "No, sir."

He gazed at Frank a bit longer. "Then I invite you to join the family for dinner tonight," he continued, his voice softening slightly. Gerard's eyes grew wide in surprise.

"Oh. Uhm. Sure. I'll be there... thanks."

"Six p.m. sharp," he instructed with a nod before moving back to his seat and letting Gerard close the door.

Gerard blinked and looked at Frank as the car drove off.  "Uhm... I had no clue he was going to do that."

Frank said nothing as he moved back to the school, lighting up a cigarette as he went. Gerard followed quietly behind, not sure of what to say.

Frank leaned against the school, taking a long drag off his cigarette. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?" he asked, looking at Gerard.

"Uhm... well... I mean, I guess just go to dinner," Gerard shrugged. "Just make sure to be a bit early; that stuff makes a good impression on my parents."

"What am I supposed to wear?"

"I dunno... Formal casual, I guess? I mean, don't go all suit and whatnot, but don't come in ripped up jeans and an old stained tee."

Frank sighed. "How did your parents react to your other boyfriends?"

Gerard looked down and shuffled his feet. "Uhm... I couldn't say... I've never had a boyfriend before."

"Great, so I'm going in head first," Frank grumbled, dropping his cigarette to the ground and stepping it out.

"I wouldn't worry... my parents seem to like you, so just be yourself."

Frank sighed again. "We should probably head inside."

Gerard nodded and grabbed Frank's hand as the two walked into the school.

* * *

Frank arrived at Gerard's house fifteen minutes before six, and rang the doorbell, waiting for someone to answer.

Gerard opened the door and nodded a quiet greeting, letting Frank in and quietly closing the door. He grabbed Frank's hand gently and led him into the living room, where his dad sat, quietly reading a book.

Frank took a seat on the couch and Gerard sat next to him quietly, looking to the ground, and occasionally at Frank.

"So, Iero. You're a vegetarian?" Gerard's father asked.

Frank cleared his throat. "Uh, yes I am."

Gerard's father nodded slightly. He hadn't looked up from his book. "I hear you're new to Newark. Where did you live before?"

"I was born in Trenton."

He nodded again. "I have friends from there," he commented, and slid a bookmark in between the pages, closing it quietly and setting it to the side. He relaxed in his chair and looked up at Frank, his gaze not as strong as before. "What do your parents do for a living?" he asked calmly, crossing his legs and resting his folded hands on his knee.

"My mom sells payroll services and my dad works for the city construction, he's a foreman."

Gerard's father nodded quietly. "And what do _you_ want to do for a living?"

"Uhm. Well I really like music and want to play but I know that isn't a solid career choice so I want to get into sound engineering and maybe open my own studio." Frank shifted uncomfortably, knowing his answer wasn't good enough.

Gerard's father failed to hold back a small smile. "I wouldn't say it isn't solid," he commented calmly. "Just a more difficult choice. It takes a lot of talent and patience." He sat quietly and studied Frank for a few moments. "Do you play any instruments?"

"I play guitar and bass, still learning bass though."

Gerard's father nodded. "What bands inspired you?" Gerard sat quietly, looking from his father to Frank and back, seeming almost shocked by the conversation.

Frank half laughed. "Hardest question ever. Black Flag, The Ramones, Misfits, but my grandfather played the drums in a band and the stories he always told kinda made me want to follow in his footsteps."

Gerard's father smiled. "Good bands," he remarked. "Even better reasoning." He uncrossed his legs and stood up. "I'm going to check on the progress," he said with a nod and walked out of the living room into the kitchen. Gerard turned to Frank and smiled widely. "See?" he whispered, "I _told_ you not to worry!"

"Ha, yeah. Let's just hope the rest of the night goes okay."

Gerard wrapped his arms tightly around Frank in a hug, leaning his head on Frank's shoulder. "You'll be alright," he assured.

Frank kissed the top of Gerard's head and smiled.

Gerard cuddled closely to Frank. Gerard's father walked in quietly, spotting the two, not saying a word but giving a soft smile. Gerard eventually caught his father in the corner of his eye and quickly pulled away, looking at the ground shyly. His father hesitated a few moments before asking, "What would you two like to drink?"

"I-I'll take water," Gerard answered.

Frank tried to stop himself from blushing. "I'll take coke if you have it... please."

Gerard's father nodded. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes." He walked back out of the room. Gerard stared at the ground, his face burning. "That was... awkward."

"You think? How about we keep a distance tonight?"

Gerard shifted his feet. "But wouldn't that make us look _more_ awkward?"

"I don't think so. I mean, don't avoid looking at me or anything, just... don't be attached to my side."

Gerard shrugged. "I dunno. I mean... obviously we shouldn't be tying tongues or anything, but, he never said anything," he sighed. "Sometimes he's just so hard to read" He looked up at the clock. "We should probably head into the dining room."

Frank nodded and stood up.

Gerard got up and led Frank into the dining room, pulled out a chair for him, and sat down next to Frank's chair.

Frank sat down, looking at how expensive the dishes appeared to be. ' _Are we supposed to eat off these? Seriously?_ '

Gerard's mom called for Mikey before walking into the dining room, setting out a few dishes on the hotplates and heading back to the kitchen to grab the rest. Gerard looked over at Frank. "You okay?"

"Huh? Oh. I'm fine. Just thinking."

Gerard blinked. "About what?"

"Just... stuff. Don't worry about it."

Gerard frowned. "Frank--" He hushed as his mom walked into the room, setting down a few more dishes with food on the table. She went back to the kitchen again, passing Gerard's father, who took a seat across from Gerard and Frank.

Frank smiled slightly, the silence making him feel awkward.

Gerard's father took a sip of his wine quietly, waiting for everyone else to be seated. Gerard's mom came in again with Frank and Gerard's drinks. She sat them down beside their plates, and then went to get her own drink.

Just a moment later, Mikey came hurrying into the dining room. "Sorry, I was on the phone," he said as he took his seat.

His father looked at him. "Better punctuation next time," he advised before taking another small drink. Their mother came in, setting down Mikey's drink, and taking a seat next to her husband.

"Sorry, dad," Mikey said, looking down at his plate.

His father narrowed his gaze, then relaxed. "Just don't do it again," he answered softly.                Gerard's mom nodded to Frank and Gerard. "We can eat now," she pointed out gently. Gerard quietly grabbed some food and put it on his plate, looking to Frank.

Frank froze, unsure what to do. ' _Should I just_ get _some or wait? Oh, God, why is this so hard?_ ' Gerard nudged Frank softly and looked at him and to the food.

Gerard's mom gave a small smile. "Feel free to serve yourself."

"Oh… okay, thanks." Frank reached and grabbed a dish, scooping some of the food onto his plate before putting it back.

She nodded slightly and started eating quietly, along with the rest of the family. Gerard gave Frank a shy look, starting to feel a bit nervous as well.

Frank stared at his plate and tried to concentrate on not eating too fast. ' _I'm going to kill myself if someone doesn't talk. So much awkward. Why did I come? Oh, fuck me, fuck this, fuck fuck fuck._ '

"How are you enjoying the food, Frank?" Gerard's mother asked calmly. Gerard shifted slightly closer to Frank, trying to give him a sense of comfort.

Frank looked up and tried to look confident. "It's very good, Mrs. Way, thank you."

She smiled softly and nodded. Gerard's father cleared his throat. "So, Iero," he began. "How long have you been with Gerard?"

Frank swallowed and thought for a moment. "Three weeks."

Gerard's father nodded and continued to eat for a few more minutes. "How many relationships have you been in before?" he asked. Gerard shifted uncomfortably.

Frank's eyed widened and he cleared his throat. "I'm not sure...three? Or four…"

Gerard's father lifted an eyebrow, but said nothing more about the question. He took a few more bites of his food quietly. "So, you're a... sophomore, right?"

"Yes, I am."

Gerard's father ate for a few more minutes before responding. "You seem fairly young for a sophomore."

Frank straightened up again. "Well, I skipped a few grades, so."

The older man looked to Frank, eyebrows raised. "You did? So you're pretty advanced for your age, huh?"

"I... guess..."

He tipped his head slightly. "You don't sound very confident about it."

"I guess that's because I'm not amazing at anything...I used to be but..."

Gerard's father got a serious look on his face. "Iero."

Frank blinked and began to fidget. "Yes, sir?"

"Can I talk with you after dinner? In private?"

Gerard's eyes widened and he shrunk back a bit, looking to Frank, then his father, and back and forth again.

"O-of course, if you want."

Gerard's father nodded and continued to eat, silent for the rest of dinner. His wife shot him a questioning glance, but said nothing and continued quietly eating. Gerard poked at his food a bit, looking to Frank with an unsure look.

Frank shrugged and looked at his plate, suddenly feeling very queasy. Mikey didn't say anything the entire time, just kept trying to text under the table.

When everyone finished, Gerard's mom took the dishes out of the dining room and into the kitchen. When the table was cleared, their father gave a nod to excuse Mikey and Gerard from the room. Gerard put a hand on Frank's shoulder for quick reassurance before leaving the room, shooting him once last glance before exiting.

Frank looked everywhere except Gerard's dad. ' _What the fuck is this? Is he going to fucking murder me?_ '

Gerard's father leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs again, as well as his arms. "Iero," he said, calling for Frank's attention.

Frank's eyes quickly shot to Gerard's dad, not wanting to be disrespectful. "Yessir?"

He gazed at Frank, his expression unreadable except for calm. "You seem unnerved," he remarked.

"No, I'm fine. Honest."

He raised an eyebrow. "Iero, I'm a lawyer, in case Gerard hasn't informed you. We know emotion better than a poker champion."

Frank sighed. "I know that, but I'm not about to run away or anything. If I was nervous, I wouldn't even talk."

The older man gave a slight smile. "At least you're being honest now," he commented. His expression went back to unreadable as he studied Frank for a few moments. "I have a feeling that you're at least uncomfortable. Is there a reason you should be intimidated by me?"

Frank shrugged. "Is there?"

"I don't know, Iero. You tell me. I see no reason."

"Neither do I."

"Then relax. I'm not going to pull a gun on you."

"Well, that's reassuring, but what did you want to talk to me about?"

Gerard's father gazed at Frank for a few moments. "Is there anything specific I need to talk to you about?"

Frank blinked a few times. "I don't know, sir, you wanted to talk to me..."

"Exactly. I wanted to talk. Nothing specific, just talk. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure, it's okay…" _'What is happening?'_ Frank silently asked, feeling more and more confused by the second.

Gerard's father pushed his chair back. "Then would you mind coming with me?" he asked, standing up.

Frank nodded. "Sure." He stood up and pushed his chair back in.

Gerard's father nodded as well and walked towards the back of the room, to the hallway where Gerard had first taken Frank to go play pool. He beckoned for Frank to follow.

Frank followed, keeping a safe distance behind the older man. ' _What is this?_ ' He walked down the hall to the very end and opened up the door, walking in. He held the door open for Frank. The young teen walked in, mumbling a "thanks."

Gerard's father nodded and quietly closed the door. The room was large; it had a desk in the back and a few nice leather chairs sitting in a perfect arrangement around a soft rug. The room had a warm glow to it, similar to that of the dining room. A bookshelf covered a whole wall, riddled with classics that were read to pieces . A giant window arched on the wall, letting in the moonlight of the night sky. The older man walked down to a chair and sat, motioning for Frank to follow suit.

Frank sat down, trying not to look like he was going to burst from anticipation.

Gerard's father made himself comfortable before saying anything. "So, I think I've shot you enough questions for now. Why not turn things around?"

"Uhm... what do you mean?"

"I mean," he began. "If you have any questions for me, now's the time to ask. Anything."

Frank shifted in his seat. "I don't...I'm not sure what to ask."

Gerard's father blinked. "Nothing?"

"Well, has Gerard always been... how he is?"

He looked quietly at Frank. "How do you mean?"

"He just has such a dim view of himself and thinks he isn't good enough."

Gerard's father frowned. "It's a bad habit that runs in the family," he admitted. "We have a habit to strive for more than we can manage, and with enough failed attempts, we sort of end up... blaming ourselves for everything." He shook his head, his gaze diverting into a distance. "He has depression, as well as anxiety disorder. The second one especially messes with him. It's like there's a second voice in his head, always telling him he isn't good enough or he can't do it or that good things are lies... and eventually he believes it." He looked back to Frank. "That's the reason I want to talk to you. I want to know if you're a good person, if you'd support him, help him. He's fragile... and if he's with the wrong person, he'll get hurt, and I'm not sure how far the damage would go."

Frank nodded, letting all of it sink in. "I try to support him and help, I really do. I try so hard..." Frank became really quiet, thinking back to the first week he knew Gerard, how broken he had seemed.

Gerard's father watched Frank for a few minutes. "I've never seen him smile like he does whenever he sees you. Not for a long time, to say the least."

Frank felt a smile creep across his face. "That's... good, I just want him to be happy."

The older man nodded. "As do I." He shifted himself into a more upright position. "Iero, has my son told you about the rules we established after his little... incident?"

Frank sighed heavily and nodded. "Yeah, he told me."

He sat quiet for a few moments. "Well, consider yourself void from those rules."

Frank's mouth fell open in surprise. "Really? Why? Not that I'm against it! Just... Seriously?"

Gerard's father gave a slight smile. "If my son needs you, I don't want him to struggle just to see you. I want what's best for him... and you seem to be just that."

"I-oh wow. Thank you, so much."

He nodded silently, his gaze soft. "I won't keep you here. Feel free to leave, or visit with Gerard for a while."

Frank stood up and extended a hand towards Gerard's dad. "Thank you for everything."

Gerard's father leaned over and shook Frank's hand with a firm grip. "No, Frank. Thank _you_. For doing what no one else can for my son."

"I'm happy to do it, I'm grateful I'm able to." Frank smiled, excused himself, and made his way to the living room in search of Gerard.

Gerard was sitting on the couch, shifting uncomfortably, constantly looking to the clock. ' _How long are they going to talk? What's he saying? Is Frank okay?_ '

Frank came in and plopped down right next to Gerard, smiling widely.

Gerard turned to Frank, wide eyed. "Are you okay? How did it go? What did he say? Why are you smiling like that?"

Frank just shook his head and put one hand on Gerard's cheek and kissed him. Mikey saw this and, rolling his eyes, went to his bedroom.

Gerard blushed, kissing back, then pulling away slightly. "What all happened?" he asked, his expression no longer alarmed, but confused.

"We talked, he asked questions, I asked questions, he said I don't have to follow those house arrest rules, you know, no big deal."

Gerard's jaw dropped. "Wait, _what_? He _excused_ you from the rules? My dad? Are you sure?"

Frank nodded, unable to keep the smile off of his face.

Gerard stared at Frank for a few moments before a smile made its way onto his face. He wrapped his arms tightly around Frank and hugged him, at a loss for words.

Frank hugged back. "So, tonight wasn't as bad as I expected."

"I knew it'd go well, but I never expected _this_ much out of it."

"Me neither, but hey, no complaints, right?"

Gerard smiled. "Of course not," he answered, snuggling closely.

Frank looked around for a clock, but couldn't spot one. "Gee? What time is it?"

Gerard looked at his phone. "Uhm... it's about seven thirty," he answered.

"Oh, lot earlier than I thought," Frank said, laughing

Gerard laughed a bit. "What time did you _think_ it was?"

"I don't know like nine or ten or something."

Gerard laughed again. "We don't take _that_ long to eat!" He laid his head on Frank's shoulder. "So what time do you have to be home?"

"Nine."

Gerard closed his eyes and rested his head a bit. "So, what do you want to do until then?"

Frank shrugged. "I don't know, man. This is your house, _you_ entertain _me._ "

Gerard smirked. "Well, I can't really entertain you with my parents at home."

Frank's eyes widened. "That is _not_ what I meant!"

Gerard laughed and hugged Frank closely. Frank nudged Gerard. "Seriously, Gee, I'm bored."

Gerard blinked. "Well, I don't know what to do... Do you maybe want to go on a walk?"

Frank's face lit up at the suggestion, he _loved_ being outside. "Yeah! Let's go!"

Gerard got up and peered into the kitchen. "Hey, mom, Frank and I are going on a walk, is that alright?" When his mom gave her approval, he took Frank's hand and led him outside.

Frank bounced on his feet excitedly, waiting for Gerard to take the lead. "Where do you wanna walk to? I don't know this area well."

Gerard smiled and shrugged. "I dunno, there's a small field area around here. It's like a small forest or something with this huge clearing."

"Okay, whatever you want to do."

Gerard quietly walked with Frank, holding his hand. He led him down a few streets, until they reached one with a dead end, and a large field stretching past that. He looked at Frank. "Wanna go?"

Frank looked around for a minute, observing their surroundings. "Sure, why the hell not?"

Gerard nodded and led Frank into the fields, looking up at the clear night sky as they walked, smiling softly.

Frank kept his eyes to the ground, watching his feet as he walked, occasionally shooting a glance at Gerard.

Gerard started to walk closer to the forested area. He looked over to Frank and tipped his head. "Everything okay?" he asked softly.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, just letting my mind wander," Frank said, laughing quietly.

Gerard leaned up against Frank and kissed him on the cheek. "Wander to what?"

"Just... life, how much everything's changed in the past few weeks."

Gerard tipped his head slightly. "How so?"

Frank shrugged slightly. "I switched towns, lost friends and other people, met you."

Gerard looked at Frank. "So... a good change or bad?"

"Kinda bad... but mostly good. Well, the part about meeting you is good."

Gerard looked down and blushed, then gave Frank a shy kiss. Frank smiled and looked up to the sky, noticing how many stars you could see once you got away from the heart of the city. Gerard leaned up against Frank, resting his head on the younger one's chest.

"It's pretty out tonight," Frank said, running his fingers through Gerard's hair.

Gerard nodded quietly, leaning up against Frank more.

"Gerard, I can't-" Gerard's added weight made Frank lose his balance, sending them both falling to the ground. "Ow, fuck!"

Gerard caught himself a bit, keeping himself from slamming Frank harder into the ground. He looked down at Frank and blushed. "S-sorry," he stumbled.

Frank laughed as he brushed dirt off of his palms. "It's okay."

Gerard relaxed and lowered himself, cuddling close to Frank and giving him a soft kiss.

Frank kissed back and laid his head against the ground. Gerard stayed still for a few moments before nuzzling gently at Frank's neck, kissing it a few times.

Frank giggled and ran his hand up and down Gerard's side. Gerard blushed a bit and started to kiss Frank's neck more. He hesitated a moment before lightly running his tongue on the soft skin.

Frank shivered when he felt Gerard's tongue on his neck, sending chills down his spine.

Gerard pressed his tongue harder to Frank's neck and started to lightly suck. Frank moaned quietly, resting his hand on Gerard's thigh.

Gerard started to suck harder, running his hands slowly down Frank's sides.

Frank squirmed a bit, surprised Gerard was initiating all of this without the aid of alcohol.

Gerard started to suck more, pushing his tongue up against the skin. He felt himself start to pant a bit as he continued, his hand sliding lower.

Frank closed his eyes, tightening his grip on Gerard's thigh.

Gerard continued for a moment longer when a thought hit him. He hesitated, but started to slide lower, pushing up Frank's shirt and kissing down his chest lightly.

Frank's breathing became more shallow as he threaded his fingers through Gerard's hair.

Gerard kept kissing lower until he hit Frank's pants. He paused for a second or two, then slowly started undoing Frank's buckle.

Frank lifted his head up, putting his hands over Gerard's to stop him. "Gerard... you don't have to..."

Gerard looked up at Frank. "I know I don't _have_ to."

Frank studied Gerard's face for a moment before sighing and laying his head back down, resting his hands at his sides.

Gerard finished undoing Frank's pants and slowly slid them down, just enough to expose what needed to be. He wrapped his fingers lightly around Frank's cock, giving it a stroke or two.

Frank gave a quiet moan, throwing his arm over his mouth to stifle any sounds he might make. Gerard gave a slight smirk before lowering his head and running his tongue over the tip, still stroking slowly.

Frank gasped and reached his other hand down, resting it on the top of Gerard's head. Gerard slowly slipped the rest of Frank into his mouth and began to suck lightly, stroking what wasn't in his mouth.

Frank moaned louder, his hips slightly bucking up. Gerard started to suck harder, running his tongue around the sides every so often, stroking faster.

Frank lightly tugged on Gerard's hair as he let out a soft grunt. "Fuck, Gerard..."

Gerard's head bobbed slightly as he started to go deeper, sucking harder, his tongue sliding around the sensitive skin.

Frank's hips bucked again as he let out a loud moan. He knew he wasn't going to last long if Gerard kept this up.

Gerard sucked even harder for a few more moments, his cheeks hollowing out, before releasing his grip and deep throating Frank.

"Oh, oh, _fuck_ ," Frank moaned, tugging on Gerard's hair more, feeling himself getting dangerously close.

Gerard hummed a bit as he deep throated Frank a second time, then a third, his teeth sliding against the soft skin on occasion as he continued.

Frank pushed on Gerard's head as a warning before his back arched while he came, shouting out Gerard's name. Gerard's eyes widened in surprise for just a moment. He hesitated and swallowed, pulling off of Frank and licking his lips, loving the salty sweet taste Frank left in his mouth.

Frank laid still, his bones feeling like they weren't even there as he tried to catch his breath.

Gerard quietly pulled Frank's pants and underwear back up and redid them, along with his belt, before scooting back up and laying his head down on Frank's chest, smiling softly.

Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard tightly. Gerard snuggled closer and yawned a bit, closing his eyes slowly.

"Gerard? Do you want to head back?"

Gerard lifted his head and blinked a few times. "Do you want to?"

"Well you just seem tired and everything so I thought..."

Gerard shrugged. "We can head back whenever you want. I'll be alright."

Frank sat up, looking at Gerard. "Let's go back; I should be getting home anyway."

Gerard looked up at Frank and nodded, rolling off of him and getting up.

Frank stood up and brushed bits of grass and dirt off of him as they began to walk.

Gerard shyly took Frank's hand, walking beside him, pressed closely as they made their way back.

When they made it back to Gerard's house, Frank stopped at the porch. "Do you think I should go in and say goodbye to your parents?"

Gerard blinked. "It's up to you. I don't think they'd mind either way, honestly."

"I think I'll just split then, I'll see you tomorrow," Frank said, turning and heading to the driveway.

"Okay," Gerard nodded, and opened his door. He turned and waved. "Bye, Frankie, see you!"

"Bye," Frank shouted as he got in the car and drove off, thankful the night had gone so smoothly.


	15. Another Knife In My Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another knife in my hands.  
> A stain that never comes off the sheets.  
> Clean me off.  
> I'm so dirty babe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "I Never Told You What I Do For A Living" by My Chemical Romance

Frank sat in the usual spot, eating his sandwich and waiting for Gerard patiently. Gerard walked out into the courtyard, running a bit late -- his teacher had wanted to talk to him about grades or whatever. ' _Do I really care?_ ' he huffed to himself. He spotted Frank and smiled, bounding over to him and sitting down beside him. "Hey, Frank," he said.

Frank smiled and put down his food. "Hey, Gee," he said, kissing Gerard's cheek.

Gerard blushed and moved closer to Frank. "How has your day been?"

"Good, boring as fuck, have tons of homework," Frank rolled his eyes dramatically.

Gerard laughed. "Yeah, know how that feels," he sympathized, resting his head on Frank's shoulder.

A moment later, Frank heard his name being called. He looked up to see Jamia heading their way. "Oh, fuck," he mumbled, scooting away from Gerard.

Gerard flinched and looked at Frank, hurt. His smile disappeared and he looked down to the ground. ' _Why does he push me away every time she comes around?_ '

Jamia stood directly in front of Frank, a huge smile on her lips. "Hey, Frankie! You know that band project we have?" she started, slightly swaying back and forth.

Gerard shrunk into himself a bit when he heard Jamia use Frank's pet name. ' _He's not saying anything about it..._ ' He swallowed hard, trying to fight a hallow feeling forming in his chest.

"Well, I need a partner and wondered if you wanted to work with me? Everyone else is taken."

Frank blinked a few times, caught off-guard by her direct question. "Uhm...sure, I guess?" ' _Fuck my fucking life_.'

 

"Great! I'll come over today and you can drive me home. See ya!"

Before Frank could object, Jamia was skipping away to join her friends. ' _Oh, Jesus, save me._ '

Gerard was silent, not wanting to say anything. ' _I was going to ask him if we could go out to a movie... guess he has better plans._ '

Frank turned to Gerard, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Gerard, can you _please_ come home with me today?"

Gerard flinched and looked up at Frank in surprise. "But... don't you...?" He looked in the direction Jamia had gone, then back to Frank, confused.

"I just... she's a lot to handle and I really want you there. I wanted to hang out anyway, but..."

Gerard fell silent, an odd feeling of anxiety boiling in his stomach. ' _This is bad. I shouldn't do this._ ' "I guess, if you want me to."

Frank launched himself at Gerard and caught him in a hug. "Thanks, Gee, you're a life saver."

Gerard blushed heavily and hugged Frank back, his smile returning. ' _I'll be okay,_ ' he assured himself. ' _We'll be okay._ '

Frank kissed Gerard's cheek again before pulling away and starting to eat again. Gerard pulled out his lunch and started to eat, still feeling a twinge of anxiety, but tried to push it aside. Frank looked over at Gerard. "Are you okay? If you don't wanna come..."

Gerard looked up. "What? No! Of course I want to come. I just hope she doesn't mind or anything."

"Why would she mind?"

Gerard shrugged. "I dunno. Like I'd be intruding or something; it's not _my_ project."

"Well, I don't give a shit. You're my boyfriend and I want you there so she can blow me if she doesn't fucking like it."

Gerard blinked in surprise and edged a bit closer to Frank. "If you say so."

Frank nodded once and took a bite of his sandwich.

 

* * *

Gerard made his way out of the school and to the oak tree, having mixed feelings about the afternoon plans.

A few minutes later, Frank came walking up, Jamia following closely. "Hey, Gee, ready to go?"

Gerard nodded quietly, trying to avoid looking at Jamia or making eye contact with her.

"Alrighty then!" Frank walked to the car and unlocked it and got in. Jamia skipped along to the passenger’s side and got in, tossing her bag into the back.

Gerard twitched as he watched his usual spot get taken from him without second thought. He sighed to himself and quietly climbed into the back seat.

Frank looked back at Gerard with an apologetic smile before starting up the car and driving out of the parking lot. Jamia rolled down the windows and turned on the radio, singing along loudly.

Gerard leaned his head quietly against the window, looking out. Things were _not_ starting out very well. ' _Just try to pull through it, Gee. For Frank._ '

When a Black Flag song came on, Jamia squealed with excitement, surprising Frank. "No way you like Black Flag!"

Jamia smiled wide and said, "They're one of my favorites!" She began to sing along, dramatically head banging and waving her hands about. Frank couldn't help but to join her, taken by the music.

Gerard chewed his lip, trying to keep his thoughts quiet, but the thoughts were too quick. ' _Wow, look at them... they're so **happy** together. I mean, he's having a **blast** with her._ '

By the time the song was over, they were at Frank's house. Frank turned off the ignition and hopped out of the car and went to open Jamia's door. She smiled and gave a sweet, "Thanks, Frankie," before heading up to the porch. Frank opened Gerard's door too, giving a half-smile to his off-put looking boyfriend.

Gerard tried his best to smile, hating how it was fake. He got out and gave a nodding thanks, following Frank from behind, dropping his happy act.

Frank unlocked the door, holding it open for the other two. Jamia skipped in and immediately went around looking at pictures and other knick knacks around the living room. ' _Yeah, no, help yourself, that's cool._ '

Gerard gave another quiet nod to Frank, putting his smile back on, and stepped inside.

Frank stood in the center of the room, hands in his pockets. "So, uh, wanna work in the kitchen? Or in the living room?"

Jamia stopped what she was doing and looked at Frank. "I think your room would be better, more comfortable," Jamia said as she made her way towards the bedrooms.           "Uhm...okay, I guess," Frank mumbled.

Gerard gritted his teeth slightly, his heart bursting into a flame of jealousy. He cleared his throat loudly and followed Frank, looking at the ground.

When Frank made it to his room, Jamia was already sitting on his bed and holding _his_ guitar. It took everything Frank had not to rip it out of her hands and hit her with it. _'No one touches Pansy._ ' He sat on the bean bag against the wall and watched her, making sure she didn't make a move that could break a string or anything else equally as bad.

Gerard looked at Frank, noticing him watching Jamia closely. He shifted uncomfortably, and looked at her holding his guitar. He stood quietly in a corner, his gaze focused mostly on the floor.

While Jamia played some riffs, Frank looked up and saw Gerard still standing. He waved a hand to catch his attention and patted the bean bag, hoping Gerard would get the hint.

Gerard looked up with a twitch, his attention being pulled away from the dark thoughts clouding his mind. He hesitated a moment, then walked over quietly and sat by Frank, trying not to sit _too_ close. ' _It always hurts when he pulls away._ '

Frank brushed his fingers lightly against Gerard's thigh, a small smile on his face. Jamia continued to play for a moment before she got bored and looked up at the both of them. Frank retreated his hand and placed it in his lap, waiting for Jamia to say something. "So, Gerard, how come I don't see you around much?"

Gerard blushed at Frank's touch. He looked away, still not wanting to meet Jamia's eyes. "My parents need me home after school usually," he mumbled, only somewhat lying. "I'm not big on groups or being around people I don't know."

"Really? Cause you seemed fine at my party..."

Gerard twitched a bit. "I... had a little too much to drink," he muttered quickly, feeling his face burn slightly. ' _And it's a good thing I didn't talk to you,_ ' he thought, 'O _r I would've said some pretty nasty things and Frank would've hated me even more._ '

Jamia shrugged and reached for her purse, reapplying some lip gloss. Frank stared for a minute before snapping out of his daze. "Hey, you guys want something to drink?"

"Water, please," Jamia replied.

Gerard shrugged. "I dunno. Water, I guess." ' _I'd like a bottle of Merlot, honestly._ '

Frank nodded and headed to the kitchen. Jamia sat on the bed and awkwardly look at Gerard. "So... how long have you known Frankie?"

Gerard felt his gut twist as he bit back the urge to tell her to stop calling him 'Frankie'. "Uhm... I met him on his first day at school," he answered quietly. "He came up to me and started talking with me at lunch." He felt a pain in his chest as he remembered how awkward he felt around Frank. The memories of him quickly falling for the younger teen filled his head, but he kept his expression unreadable, like his father would do.

"That's cool, I met him the first day too, in class. You guys are like... best friends right?"

' _Boyfriends,_ ' he snapped in thought. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

Jamia looked at her fingernails as she talked, "Cool... do you know if he has a girlfriend?"

Gerard twitched, feeling himself tense up. ' _Frank, please hurry up, damn it._ ' "I'm not sure. He might have one back in his old town... but I never asked." ' _And no, he doesn't have a girlfriend, he has_ boyfriend _! Jesus Christ where's my chardonnay when I need it?!_ '

Frank came bounding in a minute later, handing a water to Jamia and tossing one to Gerard before settling back in the bean bag, drinking a coke. "Thanks Frankie," Jamia cooed.

Gerard gritted his teeth again. "Frank," he mumbled, "I just remembered I left something in your car. Can you come with me to unlock it?" He shot Frank a look, hoping he'd get his hint.

"Ahh, sure?" Frank stood up and waited for Gerard.

Gerard got up and quickly made his way out of the room and down the stairs, standing by the door bundled up together in himself.

Frank followed Gerard and looked at him, confused. "Gerard? You didn't leave anything in the car… what is this?"

Gerard stepped out of the house and leaned against the wall, folding his arms over his stomach has though he was going to be sick. "I can't do this," he grumbled. "She asked if you had a _girlfriend_."

Frank shut the door, making sure Jamia couldn't accidentally overhear them. "Can't do what? And who cares? I mean...I _don't_ have a girlfriend."

"No, you have a _boyfriend_!" Gerard snapped in a whisper, shrinking back and ducking his head guiltily. "What am I supposed to say when she asks if we're 'best friends'? Of course we're more than best friends, but it's like you don't want her knowing. I already don't know how to talk to people. Now I need to think about what _you_ would want me to say. I can't do this awkward conversation thing."

Frank sighed and looked to the ground. "Look, my mom will be home in 20 minutes, that's all you have to endure. Then you can go. I'd hate to force you to be here." With that, Frank opened the door and went back inside.

Gerard frowned and watched Frank, feelings pushed aside. ' _That's not the point. I want to be with you. And if she's around, fine. But why can't you tell her already?_ ' He quietly followed in, feeling more broken than before.

Frank was sitting on the floor, guitar in hand, strumming along as Jamia talked about her idea for their project. "I was thinking I could play drums and you could do guitar and sing, is that okay?" Frank nodded, clearly not paying attention to her words.

Gerard sat a bit farther away, his head bowed in thought, mind swimming in dark ideas and bitter words.

"Do you have any lyrics written down that we could start with?"

Frank's head snapped when Jamia said that. "Uhh....well, I have lyrics and stuff but none for this..." Jamia nodded and dug around in her bag for a notebook.

Gerard felt his heart twist a bit, remembering his own notebook with words sketched on it in line upon line of lyrics. ' _But it's an impossible dream,_ ' he told himself.

They spent the rest of the time trading ideas, Frank coming up with riffs, Jamia coming up with simple lyrics to go along. Frank was about to say something when he heard his mom's car pull up outside. He put his guitar down and stood up. "Hey, since mom's home, that means it's kinda late...let me drive you two home."

Gerard got up and quietly made his way to the door, his head full of words unsaid. Jamia grabbed her bag and headed downstairs after Frank.

When he opened the door, Frank's mom was there, surprised at all the people in her house. "Hey, Frankie, hey Gerard," she smiled, nodding to the two boys.

Gerard forced a smile, not wanting to somehow worry Frank's mom. "Hello, Mrs. Iero," he greeted, trying to keep his voice light.

Frank's mom looked behind her son, "Who's this lovely young lady? Frankie actually get a _girlfriend_?"

Frank snorted and gave his mom a warning look. "This is Jamia, we're working on a project together."

Jamia smiled and Linda pushed passed the teenagers to the kitchen. "Be safe driving," was all she got out before Frank ushered them all out the door.

Gerard kicked at the ground before making his way to the car, immediately taking the backseat without bothering to look at whether or not Jamia had gotten to the front yet.

Frank and Jamia got in the car, silent as Frank began to drive. Jamia tried to talk to Frank several times but he wasn't interested in conversation. She turned around in her seat to look at Gerard. "Hey, why so down, kid? Smillllllleeeee."

Gerard didn't even have the energy to think a snarky comment to himself. "I'm just tired," he mumbled, staring blanking at the back of Frank's seat.

Jamia shrugged and turned around in her seat. The rest of the ride was quiet until they reached Gerard's house. Frank got out of the car and opened Gerard's door for him, trying to get back on his boyfriend's good side.

Gerard grabbed his bag and got out silently, not even looking up at Frank. He made his way to his porch, opening the door and walking inside, closing it was a dull _thud_. Frank shook his head and shut the door with a deep sigh before getting back in and driving off.

 

* * *

Gerard, with his bag slung casually over one shoulder, made his way out into the courtyard, unsure of how today's lunch would go. He was kept up late the night before by his whirling thoughts, questions, and possible answers, none of which he liked. He sighed and looked to see if he could spot Frank.

Frank was sitting in the usual spot, picking at his salad and staring at a notebook when Gerard walked over quietly and tipped his head to the side slightly as he sat by Frank. "Hey Frank," he greeted. "Whatcha lookin' at?"

"Uhh," Frank shut the notebook and shoved it into his bag. "Nothing. Uhm... how are you?"

Gerard frowned. "Why did you put it away so quickly?"

"It's just... nothing, don't worry about it."

The hollow feeling in Gerard's chest grew. "Okay," he agreed, feeling his thoughts gnaw at the possibilities. "I've been good," he continued, blatantly lying, but not wanting to worry Frank. "Classes just have me worn out."

Frank forced a laugh. "Yeah...they're really hitting us hard, huh?"

Gerard faked a smile and gave a small laugh. "Yeah... so how've you been?"

"Really good, just... busy…"

Gerard blinked. "Busy with what?"

Frank shrugged, staring down at his food. "Just homework and the project and I've been trying to find a job."

"Ah," Gerard simply said, looking down to the ground quietly.

"You seem... off today."

"How so?"

"Just distant and quiet... more than usual anyway."

Gerard shrugged. "I'm just tired is all. I stayed up late doing homework last night."

Frank raised an eyebrow, sensing Gerard was lying. "Whatever you say..." Gerard looked up at Frank and smiled, draining his eyes of emotion to keep his growing pain from showing. "Gerard, seriously. What the fuck is wrong?"

Gerard twitched and frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Frank sighed heavily and looked Gerard directly in the eyes. "I know when you're lying."

Gerard looked down, suddenly feeling sick. "Look, it has nothing to do with you, okay? Don't worry about it."

"I don't give a shit. If something's bothering you, I wanna help take care of it."

Gerard shook his head. "You can't help with it, okay? Don't worry, it's nothing big, I'll sort it out."

Frank grunted and stared down at his salad, giving up.

Gerard shuffled his feet, his stomach turning. He stood up and looked down at Frank, feeling a lump in his throat. "I'm gonna go to class," he told the young sophomore.

"But lunch just started," Frank said, his face falling.

Gerard felt his heart twist as Frank gave that sad look. ' _Please don't do this to me. Don't make me cry._ ' He sighed and sat back down. "I guess. I'm not very hungry though."

"So? Doesn't mean you have to just _leave_."

Gerard shrugged, silent. He stared blankly at the ground in front of him. ' _Look at you, you're hurting him,_ ' his thoughts snarled. ' _No wonder he seems happier with Jamia. At least she seems to have a good time. All you do is whine and complain and bring him down._ '

"You know what? You can go. I'm not gonna fucking force you to sit with me," Frank snapped, his chest aching with every word.

Gerard flinched away. "I never said you were forcing me to sit with you." ' _You deserve this, you know. For all the shit you've put him through._ '

"You're acting like you want to be anywhere else but here. I'm not stupid, ya know."

"You're right, I don't. I don't want to be _here_. At school. It's not that I don't want to be with you." ' _I just want to stop hurting you._ '

"Then let's go somewhere," Frank said, looking for any way to get Gerard in a better mood.

"I don't want to make you leave," Gerard sighed. "Just because I'm in a bit of a bad mood doesn't mean you have to give everything up for me." ' _I'm not worth it._ '

"It's not like we haven't done it before," Frank shrugged.

"Where would we even go?"

"Anywhere you want."

' _Another life._ ' "I really don't care so long as it's not here."

"Okay, come on then." Frank stood up, grabbed Gerard's hand, and began walking to the parking lot.

Gerard followed, letting Frank hold his hand as they walked. His heart felt like it was being torn. ' _Stop doing this to me. You make it so hard._ '

When they reached the car, Frank unlocked it and hopped in, starting the engine. Gerard got into the passenger seat, fastening his seatbelt quietly and looking out the window, lost in thought. Frank glanced at Gerard before pulling out of the parking lot, driving to no specific place.

As they went, Gerard's mind only got darker. ' _Look at him, giving up his time, risking getting in trouble for skipping, wasting his gas money, all on you. All for you. And what do you do? You sit there and leech off of him and his selflessness and kindness. He'd be much better off with the girl._ '

When they reached a fork in the road, one street heading towards the city, the other heading farther out into the suburbs, Frank stopped and looked at Gerard. "Which way?"

Gerard's attention snapped away from his thoughts. "Uhm... right," he said, to the road that led to the suburbs. ' _If it were me alone, I'd go to the city. Maybe I'd get shot and Frank wouldn't have to deal with me anymore._ '

Frank nodded and turned the car right, heading down the quiet streets.

Gerard looked out the window at thepeaceful neighborhoods. A sick thought hit his mind. ' _Just try to see how much you actually do for him. If you're no use to him, you're no use to anyone._ '

After driving for a while, Frank pulled into an abandoned parking lot outside a park, turning off the car and staring at Gerard for a moment.

Gerard blinked and turned to Frank. "Why did we stop?"

"Because this is the only place I know to go, I'm still not familiar with this area. We can go somewhere else if you want, but you'll have to direct me."

Gerard blinked a few times and relaxed into his seat. "No, it's alright. I don't mind."

"Okay," Frank said, unbuckling his seat belt and turning on the radio, leaving it at a very low volume. He pushed his seat back and got more comfortable.

"Can I get in the back?"

"Sure, do whatever you want."

Gerard unbuckled his seatbelt and crawled into the back seat, slowly lying down. His body ached everywhere, his eyelids heavy from lack of sleep.

Frank took off his jacket and gently stuffed it under Gerard's head before leaning back in his seat again, closing his eyes and relaxing fully.

Gerard had barely noticed; he was almost asleep. By the time Frank had gotten relaxed, Gerard was far gone.

When Frank turned to check on Gerard, he saw he was passed out. He reached into his bag and took out his notebook and began to write in it. The next time he looked at the clock there was only 20 minutes of school left. He sat up, startled by how fast time had flown and began to nudge Gerard awake. "Gerard, wake up!"

Gerard twitched in his sleep, letting out a whimper. His breaths were shaky and he looked like he had been sweating. He shifted a little more after Frank had nudged him, letting out a pained whine.

"Gerard? Fuck, are you okay?" Frank's brow furrowed as he began to shake Gerard more.

Gerard twisted a little more when his eyes shot open, throwing himself up with a gasp. He looked around, wide eyed and shaking, until he saw Frank. He immediately wrapped his arms tightly around Frank's shoulders and buried his face into the shorter male's neck, breaking into a choked sob, shaking as though he were freezing cold.

Frank's eyes widened in shock. "What the fuck? What's wrong?!"

Gerard shook his head, his breath coming in choppy gasps as he cried, holding onto Frank as firmly as possible. _'It was just a dream... It was just a dream...'_

Frank wrapped his arms tightly around Gerard, petting his hair. "Please tell me what's wrong."

Gerard shook his head again, unable to speak, his words choked by his tears. He struggled to steady his breath.

Frank sighed and held Gerard close to his chest, rocking back and forth gently to calm him down.

Gerard panted laboriously, trying to steady his uneven breaths, his head spinning. His stomach twisted and his head was pounding, and he stared blankly in front of him, his eyes wide with terror.

Frank looked at Gerard, concern written all over his face. "Gerard, you gotta talk about it. Tell me what happened."

Gerard still panted a bit, his breaths panicky and shaky. He screwed his eyes shut and curled up in a tight ball. "I h-had a d-dream," he gasped out through his breaths.

"About?"

Gerard let out a whimper, feeling himself shaking. "I-I d-don't rem-memb-ber... I j-just... all I c-can remem-ber was the blood... it w-was everywhere... and y-you..." He curled up tighter and let out a small pained noise.

Frank open and closed his mouth a few times, trying to find _something_ to say. "It-it was only a dream... just calm down, it wasn't real."

Gerard shook his hand and started whimpering more. "It s-seemed so r-real... too real... y-you were on y-your knees... d-doub-bled ov-ver... sp-pitting up b-blood... y-you had b-been s-stabbed in th-the stom-mach..." He whimpered more and started to cry again, gripping and pulling at his hair as he buried his face into his knees, rocking himself slightly.

"Gerard, calm _down_ , it wasn't real, dreams are just really fucked up sometimes."

Gerard shook his head, whimpering. "It was so real. It was so, so real." His voice dropped down to a whisper, repeating himself as he shook and lightly rocked himself, trying to keep his breath from escaping him.

Frank put his hands on Gerard's shoulders and looked him in the eyes. "Listen to me. It wasn't real. I'm fine, you're fine, nothing happened and nothing is going to happen."

Gerard dropped his head, unable to keep eye contact with Frank, and shook his head. "I-I had a bloody knife in my hands." he whimpered before curling up tightly again and breaking out into another sobbing fit.

Frank let go of Gerard and looked anywhere but at him. ' _Well what the fuck am I supposed to say to that?'_

Gerard continued to sob, shaking violently. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." he repeated in a scratchy whisper, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry."

"It...was just a dream...don't worry." Frank fixed his seat and started the car up again, driving back in the direction of the school.

Gerard had shoved himself in the corner of a seat, still crying, except not as violently, but he never said anything but an occasional pointless apology.

Frank drove Gerard home, not saying anything as he pulled into the driveway, waiting for Gerard to head inside.

Gerard seemed not to notice. He was still curled up, his breaths choppy but more calm than before. He'd finally fallen silent halfway through the trip.

"Gerard? You're home."

Gerard stayed still, not moving one bit or showing any sign of having heard Frank.

Frank sighed and got out of the car, walking around Gerard's door, opening it up. "Come on, Gerard," he said, slinging Gerard's bag on his shoulder and helping him out of the car.

Gerard stumbled and pressed closely to Frank, still shaking slightly, his gaze fixed blankly at the ground in front of him.

Frank helped Gerard to the door before reaching into his bag and pulling out his keys, unlocking the house. He steadied Gerard as they walked in, eventually making it to his room and helping him onto the bed.

Gerard had held onto Frank's wrist the whole time, and after he finally laid down, his hand was still wrapped around it. His breaths were shaky, but for the most part calm, as he stared straight in front of him, right at his hand around Frank's wrist.

Frank sat Gerard's bag down on the floor and kneeled down so they were face-to-face. "Gerard?" Gerard's gaze slowly focused onto Frank, his eyes looking straight into Frank's. "Are you... better?"

Gerard stared at Frank for a few minutes, trying to speak, but unable to form words. He ended up shrugging, then shaking his head slightly.

Frank sighed, defeated. "What do you want me to do? I'm trying here..."

Gerard's gaze fell from Frank's, and he stared off again for a few minutes before slowly pulling Frank's hand up to his face, resting his head on it softly and closing his eyes.

Frank just stared at Gerard, unsure what to do or say. He was so afraid to say something wrong and set Gerard off.

Gerard's body relaxed a bit, his eyes still shut, as his breathing starting to become normal. His grip would tighten slightly every so often, but would relax after a while. Minutes later, he finally released his grip slowly, his eyes opening slightly, his gaze looking into Frank's eyes again, his lips silent.

Frank's own gaze dropped to his lap, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt nervously.

Gerard slowly receded his hand closer to himself, and moved back a bit, taking his head off Frank's hand, and closed his eyes again, still quiet.

Frank stood up, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking around. "Uhm... do you need me here?"

Gerard opened his eyes again slightly, looking straight forward. His face was expressionless. Empty. Void. He shrugged, his mind a blank, emotion shot.

"I... gotta make a phone call, I'll be right back," Frank said, stepping out of the room and down the hall.

Gerard blinked a few times, still quietly staring, but senses alert.

In the hall, Frank pulled out his phone and called Jamia, canceling their plans to meet up to work that afternoon. Once she agreed to move everything to tomorrow, Frank walked back into Gerard's room and sat at the foot of the bed.

Gerard lay quietly for a few minutes. "You didn't have to do that," he said, his voice a whisper.

Frank rolled his eyes and scooted back on the bed until his back hit the wall. "I did have to... and it's not a big deal anyway," he shrugged.

"It's a school project," Gerard answered, voice hushed. "You shouldn't put it aside because of me."

"It's mostly done anyway, we still have a week."

Gerard fell silent again with nothing more to say. He laid and stared blankly in front of him, his breathing finally calm and steady.

Frank looked at his lap, running his hand along Gerard's calf, occasionally looking over at him to make sure he was alright.

At Frank's touch, Gerard gave out a small sigh and closed his eyes, his body fully relaxing. He laid still, hearing every sound, right down to Frank's breathing.

Frank leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes, breathing out a sigh. Gerard shifted a bit, making himself comfortable, and rested himself once more, falling into sleep.

Frank lightly squeezed Gerard's calf, seeing if he was really asleep. When he got no response, he got up and walked out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind him before he left the house and made his way home.


	16. The Amount Of Pills I'm Taking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The amount of pills I'm taking, counteracts the booze I'm drinking.  
> And this vanity I'm breaking, lets me live my life like this!  
> And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Two Of Us" by My Chemical Romance

Gerard sat down on the stairs by the fountain in the courtyard, putting his bag to his side. Ever since his episode yesterday, he'd felt void and empty. ' _I don't even know who I am anymore..._ ' He set his bag by his side, and looked blankly in front of him, waiting for Frank.

Frank stepped outside, loosening his tie and looking for Gerard. When he spotted him, he cautiously made his way over and sat down. "Hey, Gee."

Gerard looked up a Frank, a small and somewhat hopeless spark of happiness breaking through his clouded eyes. "Hey, Frank," he greeted softly with a broken smile.

"Are you feeling better today?"

Gerard shrugged. "I guess. I'm not sure _how_ I feel," he admitted.

Frank looked to the ground, nodding. "Okay," was all he said.

Gerard looked back down, his smile fading. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

"It's okay...wasn't your fault."

Gerard sighed. "I shouldn't have put you through that."

"Not like you meant to," Frank said, shrugging.

Gerard sat and stared at the ground silently, not sure of what to say. When Frank looked up to say something, he saw Jamia approaching them, the usual wide smile planted on her face. "Hey, Frankie! Hey Gerard!"

Gerard felt a slight, hurting twist in his chest and the realization hit him like a rock -- he'd finally broken. His heart had almost hardened to stone. He looked up at Jamia, straight in the eyes, and faked a smile somehow. "Hey, Jamia," he said, returning the greeting.

"Hey," Frank mumbled, avoiding eye contact with the girl.

 Jamia shuffled her feet nervously before looking up and smiling again. "So, Frankie, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the mall to work today." Frank's eyes widened at the question, knowing this definitely meant trouble for him. "I uh..."

"Well, Gerard can come too of course," Jamia quickly added, not wanting to be rude and leave Gerard left out.

Gerard shook his head a bit. "I gotta head straight home today," he replied. "Mikey's going to hang with Ray, so I've gotta take care of the chores." He hated the feeling growing in his chest. It was as though his heart were being chiseled away slowly by all the words.

"Oh, well how about you, Frankie?" Jamia smiled, trying not to show her uneasiness around Gerard.

Frank turned to Gerard, a pleading look in his eyes. "Are you sure? We won't be there long."

Gerard gave another broken, apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Frank." ' _For everything._ '

Frank sighed heavily, thoroughly hating his life. "You sure you can't put it off? I could help you get the chores done after." ' _Please say you'll come, please._ '

Gerard frowned and looked down. "I mean, if you guys really want me to... I guess I can."

"I do! I just...yeah, I really want you to be there." Frank blushed, feeling like such an asshole for not wanting to be alone with Jamia.

Gerard sighed to himself. "I'll text and ask my parents then," he acknowledged. "I'll just let you two know after school." ' _Well that was a lie well wasted._ '

"Okay! Well, I gotta go! See you later, Frankie! Bye, Gerard!" Jamia skipped off, leaving Frank feeling like the biggest asshole and user on earth.

"Thanks," Frank mumbled.

Gerard shrugged and looked back down to the ground, falling silent again.

"Are you ever going to be better again?"

Gerard's heart felt like it split. ' _I've been asking myself the same thing._ ' "Yeah, I'm just worn out from yesterday... with all that happened." ' _I know the answer now._ '

Frank nodded slowly. "Okay... I just... don't know what to do and it's making me feel like shit."

Gerard felt his heart twist more. ' _I won't hurt you anymore soon enough._ ' "I'll be okay... A few days to rest and I'll be better."

"Good," Frank said before turning and wrapping his arms around Gerard.

Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and leaned against Frank, slowly pulling his arms up and wrapping his hands softly around Frank's arms. ' _You make it so hard._ '

Frank was going to say something, but the bell rang, causing Frank to pull away and stand up. "So uh... I'll see you after school then."

Gerard nodded quietly and stood up as well, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Frank smiled slightly, turned, and walked inside. Gerard gave another fake smile before turning and heading to the rest of his classes.

 

* * *

Frank and Jamia stood by the edge of the parking lot, waiting for Gerard. Jamia kept going on about her day, Frank wasn't really paying attention, only giving the occasional nod and generic comment.

Gerard made his way out of the school, heading over to Frank and Jamia when he spotted them. Of course, he _did_ ask his parents, and they approved of him going. "We'd wanted to go out late tonight anyways," his mother had said.

Frank bounced on his feet, looking at Gerard expectantly. "So?"

Gerard looked at Frank and smiled, feeling like he was going to be sick. ' _Stop looking at me like that._ ' "They said I could go."

"Awesome!" Frank leaned forward and caught Gerard in a hug. Once he realized what he was doing, he let go and backed away, laughing it off. "Alright then, let's go." He and Jamia turned around and walked to the car.

Gerard's heart ached as Frank embraced him. ' _Don't do this to me._ ' He smiled and nodded, following the two from behind quietly.

Frank unlocked the car and hopped in, Jamia following suit and getting into the passenger seat. Frank looked at her, wanting to tell her to move, but thinking the better of it and just starting the car up.

Gerard got into the back, thankful he wouldn't have to face Frank for a bit. ' _I know his face will be the last thing I see._ '

Frank drove out of the parking lot and headed towards the mall, silent for the entire drive. Gerard sat quietly, his thoughts making decisions quietly as the car drove along, the engine humming.

Frank pulled into the mall parking lot and stepped out of the car. Jamia hopped out and immediately flocked to Frank's side, causing an uneasy feeling to set in him.

Gerard got out of the car and walked up to Frank and Jamia, standing a bit farther from the two. ' _At least he won't be alone._ '

Frank sighed and walked into the mall, using the entrance that led to the food court. He sat at a table and sighed. Jamia sat next to him and pulled out her notebook.

Gerard sat down quietly across from the two, his gaze lowered, staring at the table in front of him.

Frank shifted uncomfortably, unsure what to do. "Uhm... do you guys want something to eat or anything?"

Gerard shrugged. "I'm not that hungry, but you guys can feel free to eat."

Frank looked at Jamia, silently asking what she wanted. She shrugged, "I ate at lunch, so I'm good."

"Okay." Frank pulled out his own notebook, shielding it away from Gerard's view. He leaned closer to Jamia and they worked on adding lyrics and notes, putting in final touches, and thinking of how to present their project.

Gerard slightly lifted his gaze and watched subtly, a gnawing feeling at his stomach. ' _Stop being selfish,_ ' his thoughts snapped. ' _At least he'll be happy with her. Or are you a liar when you said you wanted him to be happy just to sound like a romantic little fuck?_ ' He felt a bit light headed, his stomach twisting more. He pushed his seat out and stood up. "Hey, uh, guys, I gotta go to the bathroom. Be right back." He quickly rushed off, and when he found one, he clutched his stomach, feeling his gut twist more. He doubled over and puked, feeling his head spin. ' _God damn it, I can never keep down the cabernet._ '

While they worked, Frank tried to ignore Jamia's hand on his thigh. He _really_ tried to ignore the look she had every time he peeked at her, becoming very aware of how close they were. "Jamia? uh-" she cut him off by leaning in, closing the space between them, and kissing Frank. He wasn't sure how to respond, he couldn't say he didn't see it coming, but it still shocked him.

Gerard wiped the edge of his mouth as he walked out, his stomach feeling as empty as his chest. When he looked up, he felt like he was going to vomit a second time -- they were _kissing_. At first, he wanted to run over and demand what the fuck just happened, but then the thought dropped in his mind: ' _He wants to be with her, not you. He deserves better than you. Doing this will do him a favor. He'll be okay without you. No, not okay. He'll be so much better off without you. You said you wanted him happy -- now prove it._ ' He looked back down and slowly walked back, not wanting Frank to know that he'd seen.

A moment later, Frank pulled away, gauging Jamia's hurt expression. "I'm sorry but... I can't..... we can't..." Jamia nodded, embarrassed. She took her hand off Frank's thigh and scooted away, staring down at her notebook.

Gerard finally reached the table and sat down, not looking up once. "G-guys," he stumbled, "I need to g-go home."

"Oh, okay... that's fine, let's go." Frank put his notebook in his bag and stood up, waiting for the rest to join him. ' _Thank fucking God._ '

Gerard got up and stumbled a bit, doubling over as he felt his stomach flip. "Fuck. God, no not now," he mumbled, trying to straighten himself a bit. "I-I'm sorry... I just... I think I'm sick."

"No, no, it's fine. Let's just hurry and get you back so you can rest." Frank put an arm on Gerard's elbow, helping to stable him. Jamia stood up, packed away her things and stood to the side awkwardly.

Gerard stepped nervously. His body screamed to yank his arm away from Frank; just feeling his touch was enough to hurt. ' _You're hurting because you want him. But he doesn't want you. You're being selfish. Stop hurting and realize you're going to help him, you asshole._ '

Frank helped Gerard out to the car, Jamia following at a distance behind them. He opened the door and eased Gerard inside.

Gerard stepped in quietly and sat down, his arms wrapped around his stomach as he stared at his feet. Frank got in the driver's seat, Jamia in the passenger as Frank started up the car, pulling from the parking lot and driving to Gerard's house. He kept glancing back at Gerard, worried.

Gerard sat deathly silent, his thoughts shooting through his head. ' _You should've done it like you planned before,_ ' his thoughts scolded. ' _Before the day you skipped. You let yourself hurt him more. You could've ended his suffering earlier but you were selfish. Don't hesitate this time. Don't make up lies that he may love you. He doesn't love you. He never did. He loves her and you're in the way of that._ '

Once they reached Gerard's house, Frank didn't hesitate before opening the door and helping Gerard from the car.

Gerard tried his best not to lean onto Frank. A panicky feeling rose in his chest. ' _But I love him. He makes me so happy. He's so funny and charming and handsome._ ' He blinked a few times, keeping back tears. ' _And I'm holding him back. He just feels obligated to care. He feels like he has to. I'm forcing him into this. If I love him... I need to do what's best for him._ '

Frank helped Gerard to the porch. "Do you have your keys?"

Gerard nodded silently and unlocked his door. He opened it and hesitated for a moment. "I'm sorry about all of this..."

"It's okay, you can't help it."

Gerard stood silently for a moment, still looking down. ' _Might as well be a little selfish..._ ' "And Frank?"

"Yeah?"

He hesitated and looked up, setting his gaze on Frank's. "I love you."

"I... love you too," Frank said, half-smiling.

Gerard smiled back, feeling his heart give a final break as he stared back at Frank. ' _If only you knew..._ ' He turned around and walked inside, closing the door softly. ' _... that this would be the last time you'd see me._ '

He leaned back on the door and waited until he heard Frank's car drive away, not moving until the motor couldn't be heard anymore. He looked at the clock. 5:30. His parents said they wouldn't be back until 11:00­­ and he knew Mikey and Ray would be out pretty late too. He double checked to make sure no one was home, though, peering into the garage. Empty, except for his own car, which his mother had the keys to. ' _At least she won't have to search for them when she goes to sell it._ '

He went into the kitchen and grabbed a full bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, loosening the cork on the top of it slightly. He dragged his feet upstairs and walked into the bathroom, setting down the bottle on the sink counter. He opened the medicine cabinet and fumbled around the pill bottles, examining the labels of each one carefully. He sighed and sat down about three or four bottles next to the wine.

He went into his room and quietly sat on his bed. A few moments passed before Gerard leaned over and grabbed a pencil and a spiral notebook. He propped up his leg and stared at the blank page in front of him before beginning to write. When he finally finished writing, he ripped the paper out of the notebook, tossing the notebook aside. He neatly folded the note and set it on his dresser, placing the pencil on top of it.

Gerard's head spun as he walked back into the bathroom, popping the cork off the glass bottle before downing about a third of it. He set it down and took off the caps of each pill bottle, his stomach turning. The panicky feeling hit him again and he hesitated. ' _Prove you love him by doing what's best._ '

Gerard screwed his eyes shut before tipping his head back and swallowing his poisonous intentions.


	17. I Mean This Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets
> 
> I'm trying, I'm trying  
> To let you know just how much you mean to me  
> And after all the things we put each other through.  
> \---  
> And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood  
> And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down  
> And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down  
> I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood  
> I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Demolition Lovers" by My Chemical Romance

     Frank walked into school on Monday, running late. His weekend was boring and uneventful. Jamia came over on Saturday to finish the project. She quickly finished and left without any room for small talk, she was avoiding Frank. ' _Great, another person slipping away from me._ '

     When Frank walked into chemistry, he expected to find Gerard waiting for him, but he wasn't there. ' _Guess he still isn't feeling well._ ' He sat down and didn't pay attention to class at all. He sat by himself at lunch, getting back to his old ways of being alone. After school, Frank tried to call Gerard, but got no response.

     When he came to school on Tuesday, he couldn't wait until lunch, hoping Gerard was finally back. He hurried to the courtyard and... nothing. He wasn't there. Now he was getting worried, three days sick? It wouldn't worry him so much if Gerard would answer his calls. ' _Maybe he has some kind of throat problem and can't talk?_ '

     Frank went home and tried texting, still nothing; he stayed up all night, thinking the worst. ' _Is he finally done with me? Is he sick of my shit?_ '

     On Wednesday, Frank got to school early, hoping to see Gerard waiting outside, but no such luck. He waited until lunch until he searched for Mikey and Ray, finding them on the outside of the building by the band room. He walked up to them, clearing his throat. "Hey, guys."

     Mikey was curled up, knees to his chest, closely to Ray, who had his arm around him, holding the younger Way brother close. He looked at Frank, obviously not in a good mood. "Hey," he answered, Mikey pressing closer to Ray, silent.

    "So uhm... I haven't seen Gerard lately... is he ok?"

    Mikey let out a pained whine and curled up more, burying his face into his knees. Ray pulled Mikey closer to comfort him and diverted Frank's gaze nervously.

    Frank frowned and fidgeted nervously. "Seriously, guys, what the fuck happened?"

    Mikey continued to whimper a bit. "He's in the hospital, Frank. He... he overdosed on medications."

    "He... what?" Frank slowly sat down, suddenly feeling very dizzy and nauseous. ' _This can't be true, he's lying._ '

    "He was half-conscious when I got home and vomiting bile and a bit of blood... by the time the ambulance got to the house, he'd slipped into unconsciousness. They said had if it been even an hour later..." Mikey shook his head and started to quietly cry. "I didn't ever think he'd do anything like this."

    "Why... did he do it? Is he okay?"

    Mikey shook his head. "I-I don't know why. He's not dead... but he downed a whole bottle of alcohol with the pills, and the mixed reaction has him really sick."

    Frank nodded, calming down a bit. "Where is he? Can I see him?"

    "They're not allowing visitors until they're sure he's stable... they haven't even let our family see him."

    "Goddammit! Why didn't someone tell me sooner? I deserved to know!"

    "Well, what do you think I'm going to do? Fucking announce it to the whole world?!" Mikey snapped.

    "No, you asshole! But I'm his boyfriend! I had the right to fucking know!"

    "Then you should've asked sooner!" Mikey barked. "How do you think _I_ feel?! You're not the one who came home to your brother half fucking dead!"

    Ray put a hand firmly on both of their shoulders. "Guys," he pressed firmly. "Is yelling at each other going to solve _anything_? What's done is done. Everyone is informed now. Better late than never." He looked to Mikey, then to Frank, his gaze stern.

    Frank glared at the two before standing up and quickly walking away. Ray sighed and shook his head.

    Mikey barely functioned after what happened to Gerard; he didn't eat, couldn't sleep. He was dying to get near his brother and when Friday finally rolled around, he was practically crawling out of his skin. At lunch, he found Frank sitting by himself outside, he approached him and mumbled, "Gerard can have visitors now. I'm going after school, be at the oak if you wanna come." He walked away, not even bothering to wait for Frank's response.

    By the time school let out, he was fidgeting uncontrollably, waiting for Frank. When his brother's boyfriend finally made it outside, he hurried to the car, dragging Frank with him, driving to the hospital like a bat out of hell. When they arrived, Mikey lead the way to Gerard's room, finding his parents sitting outside of it.

    Gerard's father was hunched over, arms resting on his legs, looking down to the ground silently. His wife was looking around, her expression broken. She finally spotted Mikey and Frank. "Oh... there you are, Mikey," she acknowledged, her voice hoarse, odd for her usually smooth tone. "You brought Frank, too." Gerard's father didn't budge, his gaze fixed to the floor. "He's almost asleep now," the older woman continued softly. "You two can go ahead in and see him. We have to be getting back to work." She stood up and grabbed her purse, then gently put a hand on her husband's shoulder. He looked up at her silently, then to Mikey and Frank. The look in his eyes were filled with helplessness, bags under his eyes from stress and lack of sleep. He pulled himself up slowly, gave the two teens a nod, and the parents made their way down the hall.

    Mikey went into the room first, Frank trailing behind. He walked up to the chair by Gerard's bed and sat down, holding his brother's hand. "Gee? It's Mikey... how are you feeling?" Frank stood awkwardly against the wall, near the door, feeling very out of place. He had tears in his eyes from seeing Gerard looking so ill, so sad, so... not himself.

    Gerard moved his head slightly, turning it towards his brother's voice, and opened his eyes, his vision blurry. "M-Mikey?" he choked out, his voice scratchy and rough. He blinked a few times more, feeling numb from the medications that the hospital had given him.

    "Hey... we came as soon as they'd let us. I missed you so much, Gee, I've been so worried."

    Gerard blinked a couple of more times, his vision slightly more clear. "I-I'm sorry, Mikey," he whispered.

    "It's okay, I'm just glad you're alive." Mikey squeezed Gerard's hand, tears forming in his eyes.

    Frank shifted uncomfortably against the wall, feeling like he shouldn't be there, like he was intruding.

    Gerard felt a sharp pain in his chest and he swallowed hard, feeling his eyes start to water. "I shouldn't have put you through that... I'm sorry."

    "Gee, don't worry about me; just don't _ever_ do anything like that again. I can't lose you... you're my best friend."

    Gerard felt his chest hollow out as a few tears fell. His usual thoughts were silent, his mind fuzzy, leaving him with nothing to say.

    Mikey cleared his throat, wiping away his tears, trying to appear strong for his brother. Frank felt a huge lump in his throat as he watched the scene, he couldn't do it... he had to go.

    Gerard heard Frank shifting and turned his head slightly. "W-wait... you'd said we?" he repeated to Mikey, just now realizing.

    Mikey blinked, confused for a moment. "Oh, yeah. Frank came."

    Frank looked at the ground, feeling extremely awkward.

    Gerard blinked a few times and shifted, but wasn't able to turn. "Frank?"

    "Hey, Gerard..." He kept his eyes at the ground, afraid he'd lose it if he looked up.

    "Wh... where are you?"

    Frank shuffled into the room more, standing across from Gerard's bed.

    Gerard's gaze slowly shifted to Frank's face, his vision a bit blurry again from the tears. He gave Mikey's hand a slight squeeze. "F-Frank?"

    "Hey..." Frank played with the hem of his jacket nervously, suddenly very aware of the situation.

    Gerard stared at Frank, feeling his stomach drop. ' _Look at how much I've hurt them,_ ' his thoughts were able to convey to him.

    "I uh.... I missed you..."

    "I-I'm sorry Frankie."

    Frank shook his head, keeping his eyes to the ground. "Don't be sorry..."

    Gerard whimpered slightly, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry... to both of you... I... I never meant to hurt either of you."

    "You didn't hurt us... you just worried us," Mikey said softly.

    Gerard shook his head, knowing it was a lie, but not saying anything.

    Mikey sighed, not knowing what to say, silently cursing himself for being so bad with words. Frank sat in a chair in the corner of the room, staring at the wall.

    Gerard kept his eyes closed, feeling drowsy. He held onto Mikey's hand, feeling himself slipping into sleep, trying to fight it for a while longer.

    Mikey saw Gerard fighting sleep and let go of his brothers hand before standing up. "Look, you get your sleep; I'll be back later with mom and dad, okay?"

    Gerard opened his eyes and gave a small whimper, not wanting either of them to leave, but gently nodded.

    "See you in a few hours, Gee," Mikey said, walking out of the room.

    Frank got up and mumbled a quiet ‘bye’ before turning and heading out to the hall.

    Gerard slowly closed his eyes, feeling a cold sense of loneliness as the two left, leaving him to fall into an uneasy and dark sleep.

 

* * *

    Frank lay on the couch in his living room, the TV on, but he wasn't paying any attention to it. He could faintly hear his mom on the phone in the other room. Frank looked up when his mom rushed into the living room, shutting off the TV, and sitting in the recliner, a serious look on her face. "Mom, what? I didn't do anything bad-"

    "When's the last time you saw Gerard?" she asked, cutting Frank off.

    "Uhm... Friday. Mikey and I visited him in the hospital."

    "He hasn't tried calling or texting you has he?"

    "Mom, no, I haven't talked to him since we visited him. What's going on?"

    Linda sighed, dreading what she had to tell her son. "I just got off the phone with Mrs. Way. Gerard's missing. No one has any idea where he is, he left no note, didn't call anybody, he just left."

    Frank was speechless, this couldn't be true, why would he just _leave_ after everything that happened? "I-is there anything we can do? Can we go looking for him?"

    Frank's mom shook her head and looked down. "No, Frankie, just keep an ear out and if he calls you or comes here or anything, let me know as soon as possible. He'll show up soon."

    Frank nodded and got up and went to his room, slamming the door shut before lying on his bed and crying into his pillow until he fell asleep.

    When he woke up the next day, it was already after twelve. He sighed and showered, got dressed, and went back to lying in his darkened room, waiting for any sign of Gerard. Frank laid, staring at his ceiling until he heard crazy knocking at the door. He couldn't be bothered to get up, so he let his mom get it. Seconds later, he heard someone running up the stairs.

    Mikey burst into the bedroom, panting. "Frank!" he gasped, his eyes full of alarm. "You have to help! Please! He's about to jump!"

    Frank sat up, eyes wide. "What are you talking about? Who's gonna jump?"

    Mikey shook his head. "No time, I'll explain later, just come _on_!" Before Frank could ask or answer, Mikey bolted back down the stairs, jumping into the car, which was still running, waiting for Frank.

    Frank quickly put some shoes on and ran outside before getting into the car and buckling his seat-belt.

    Mikey pulled out of the driveway quickly and blasted down the road. "They found Gerard this morning," Mikey explained. "Except they didn't really mean to... someone reported--" he swallowed hard. "--a teenager who seemed like he was going to jump off a bridge. The police came and found it was him. We've kept him from jumping so far, but I knew we couldn't stop him..."

    Frank couldn't believe what he was hearing, after what happened before, why is _this_ going on? Was the world punishing him? "Who's with him now? And why did you come get me? He's not gonna give a shit what I say." ' _Not after all the times I've been such a shit boyfriend._ '

    "Frank, don't be a fucking idiot," Mikey snapped. "Gerard has _never_ been so close to anyone before. You're the only person I could think of that would actually be able to stop him. The police are there, as well as my parents, and somehow a few kids from our school found out, too. But if anyone steps on the bridge, he loosens his grip on the railing. No one's had success in talking him out of it."

    "Fuck, Mikey... I'll try, God knows I will but... what if I can't stop him?" Frank swallowed hard, feeling the weight of it all hitting him at once.

    Mikey fell silent, unsure of anything else to say, so he kept driving, pushing the speed limit.

    Frank shifted his whole body so he was leaning against the car door, looking out the window. When he moved his leg, he felt a piece of paper scratch his skin. He leaned down and took it out of the side-door pocket. Seeing a bunch of writing on it that he recognized as Gerard's, he read it, not giving a shit whether or not he was supposed to.

_'Frank,_

_After all the things we put each other through, I'm trying to let you know just how much you mean to me, by letting you go. You’ll be happier without me, I know, but you won’t leave me. I know I love you… I’d drive on to the end with you. I'd end my days with you, in a peaceful sleep, two shots in the back of the head, in a hail of bullets… any way you’d want it. But it’s not the best. Not for you._

_I feel like there's nothing left to do but prove myself to you. I’ve tried and tried, but I feel like I never will be able to prove myself to you… or maybe myself. So, I'll let you know just how much you mean to me, by doing what you can’t. You won’t let yourself be happy. You won’t let me go, because you put me before yourself. These are words I thought I’d never speak, and well… I guess I’m not speaking them, but writing them._

_I know, before I go, I'll see your eyes… it’ll be the last thing I see in my mind. I’ll see them while lying in a pool of blood, and it’ll hurt more than ever... but in the end, I know it’s best for you. I mean this._

_Forever'_

 

    Frank felt his mouth dry up, a lump forming in his throat as he read. He couldn't hold back the tears and dropped the letter in his lap before covering his face with his hands and sobbing. ' _How can he think leaving me will make me happy? Where did I go wrong with this? Why doesn't he know what he means to me?_ '

    Mikey stopped the car and looked at Frank. "Frank why are you--" He felt the pit of his stomach drop when he saw the letter laying in Frank's lap. He sat quietly, at a loss for words.

    "Why didn't you show me this?" Frank asked through his choked sobs.

    "You never needed to see it... It would've been better if you hadn't found it."

    "I don't _care_. What if this was the last thing he ever wrote for me and I never got to see it?"

    Mikey fell silent. "I don't want it to be the last thing he writes. And if it was... if it is... well there. Now you've see. it."

    Frank sighed and tried to stop crying. "When will we be there? How much longer?"

    Mikey cleared his throat. "We _are_ here..."

    "God dammit, Mikey! Why are we just sitting here?!"

    "Jesus Christ, you were fucking crying! What did you want me to do? Say 'Frank get your shit together we're here you can sort out your feelings later'?"

    "That would've been just fucking fine!" Frank unbuckled his seat-belt and got out of the car.

    Frank made his way to the crowd of people gathered by the bridge. He stepped to the front and was stopped by a police officer, telling him he couldn't get any closer. "Mr. Way!" he called to Gerard's dad, hoping he'd tell the officer to let him through.

    Gerard's father stalked over and grabbed the officer's arm firmly. "If you don't let this young man through, I will make sure you lose you fucking job over this," he snarled, his eyes flashing raw rage. The police officer flinched and nodded, letting Frank pass.

    Frank stepped over the barrier and looked around until he spotted Gerard. He stood still, unsure what to do, unsure how close he could get without pushing it too far.

    Gerard stood on the very edge of the bridge, halfway in the middle of its length, outside of the barriers, holding onto one. He heart pounded in his chest as he stared down at the rushing water. Blocking out the background noise of people, he swallowed hard.

    Frank slowly, cautiously stepped closer so he knew Gerard could hear him. "Gee?"

    Gerard flinched and looked up -- that was a mistake for him. His eyes immediately locked with Frank's. He stared, panting slightly from the stress and heat, and stared back, not knowing what to say.

    "Gerard," he started, struggling to keep his voice even. "Please, _please_ don't do this... please come down."

    Gerard stared back for a few moments before tearing his gaze away, shaking his head as he looked back. "You wouldn't understand."

    "What wouldn't I understand?"

    Gerard shook his head again, his gaze falling back to the river below.

    Frank stepped a bit closer, praying Gerard wouldn't notice. "Gerard, come on, I don't care if you think I won't understand. You're not thinking clearly, don't do this."

    Gerard had his focus on the water, not seeing Frank. "No, it's clear as day. It's for the best. For everyone."

    "Not for me! Not for Mikey! Not for your parents! Your view is so fucking _warped_. Don't you see that people need you? You know how everyone has been acting since you hurt yourself? They're been hollow, shells of themselves. Without you, they can't think straight, they don't wanna eat, they don't know how to function without you being in their lives. Why can't you see that?"

    "It's because of me that everyone's hurt in the first place! If I ended it all now... I wouldn't be able to hurt anyone ever again."

    Frank stepped even closer, only a few feet away from Gerard. "If you ended it all, people wouldn't ever get over it, they _need_ you. You'd only hurt them more by going through with this."

    Gerard shook his head, closing his eyes. "Everyone would get over it. I'm nothing more than another person on this planet. I'm nothing special. I'd be better off dead."

    "Gerard, no. You're special to me... I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true."

    Gerard shook his head sadly. "You'll find someone else. You already did. You just can't see it because I'm in the way of all of it..."

    "What the FUCK? I did not find someone else! Are you fucking talking about Jamia? She doesn't mean anything to me! Not like that anyway!"

    "I saw you two kissing."

    Frank's eyes widened. ' _Goddammit, Jamia!_ ' "That wasn't-that meant nothing! She kissed _me_ I didn't do anything back and I told her to stop! What the fuck? You think I’d actually kiss her with you a few feet away? I wouldn't kiss her if you were a million miles away!"

    Gerard shook his head again. "I told you that you wouldn't understand."

    "Then let me understand! Fucking talk to me!"

    "I already told you! I already said everyone would be better off without me! Why do you even bother?"

    "Because I love you! I can't let this happen! Without you, I'd be nothing. You're what keeps me going. You're the only reason I bother to wake up in the morning. I've never felt like this with anyone else before... you're the only one I want. You're all I could ever ask for in a person. I've been a wreck the past few days. I didn't realize how much I needed you in my life until I almost lost you. You've never hurt me until now, and the only reason I'm hurting is because I'm imagining life without you and fuck, Gerard, I can't do it. I need you here with me. That's what _you_ don't seem to understand." Frank couldn't help but to cry as he talked, his emotions pouring out of him, making him weak-kneed and dizzy.

    Gerard stood still, staring at the water, the words hitting him like bricks. "F... Frank..." he started in a pained whisper. He wavered a bit, losing his balance, a foot sliding off the edge. He yelped and tightened his grip on the barrier, but with the awkward position, he was losing hold fast. "Frank!" he yelped, suddenly realizing just how dangerous the river plunge would be as his legs dangled.

    Frank ran over to Gerard and grabbed his arm, doing his best to help him back up.

    Gerard frantically tried some way to get his legs back up, but Frank was only pulling him up so much. "H-help!" he yelled. He looked up at Frank, his eyes a mixture of terror and pain. Gerard's father bolted down the bridge and grabbed onto his son as well, helping to pull Gerard up the rest of the way.

    Frank calmed down a bit once they pulled Gerard over the barrier. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest.

    Gerard's father immediately pulled Gerard close to him in a hug, burying his face in his son's face a few tears fell quietly while he panted from the running. He grabbed Frank's arm and pulled him in as well.

    Frank stood awkwardly close, he couldn't bring himself to do anything but stare at the bridge, thinking of how badly things could have gone.

    Gerard, while being hugged, hesitantly reached over and brushed a few of his fingers against Frank's.

    Frank flinched from Gerard's touch, but relaxed when he realized who it was. His breathing was calm, but he still felt light-headed, like he was going to pass out.

    Gerard's father finally let go of the two, wiping his eyes on his sleeves before putting a hand each other their shoulders.  "Come on, he said quietly. "Let’s go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review!


	18. What's Your Favorite Color?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Well, my gun fires  
> seven different shades of shit.  
> So what's your favorite color, punk?)  
> \---  
> Can't find my way home,  
> But it's through you and I know,  
> What I'd do just to get back in his arms,  
> Can't find my way home,  
> But it's through you and I know,  
> What I'd do just to get back, well, in his arms.
> 
> I can't find the way
> 
> Come on angel, don't you cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "My Way Home Is Through You" by My Chemical Romance

After Gerard's second suicide attempt, he had to stay under constant watch for a few days, leaving Frank alone at school yet again. As soon as he was allowed, Gerard's parents switched him to out-patient counseling so he could return to school. With the mounds of paperwork that had to be done, Gerard didn't make it into school until the end of the week. Of course, just because the world hates Frank, they didn't have chemistry that day and he had to wait until school let out to see his boyfriend. He practically ran out of building, totally ignoring random people trying to talk to him. He stood by the oak, bouncing up and down with anticipation.

Gerard drug his feet out of the school building, tired and worn out from all the work and adapting to school again. He looked up, blinking, then spotted Frank. He felt his heart lift, and bounded over quickly with a new sense of energy.

As soon as Gerard was close enough, Frank caught him in a hug, wrapping his arms around him so tightly that it hurt.

Gerard let out a small squeak, Frank almost _literally_ squeezing the breath out of him, but he hugged back as tightly as possible and planted a kiss on Frank's cheek.

Frank let go after a moment, a huge smile on his face. "I missed you so much; this week has been fucking torture."

 "I know, it's been so much hard work," Gerard agreed with a sigh. He hugged Frank again closely. "But it's great to be able to see you again... It was worth going through the whole week, just to see you."

"So, are you under house arrest again?"

Gerard nodded. "No changes there... but you're still an exception to the rules."

"Really? You sure?"

"After what happened... I have a feeling my parents will practically _require_ you to be around." Gerard gave a small smile, obviously nervous about bringing up the event.

"Ah, okay, at least something good came out of it," Frank said, laughing nervously.

Gerard leaned up against Frank, resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. "I'm sorry I put you though all that," he whispered. "And I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

Frank sighed, hating the subject they were on. "It's okay, I guess I didn't do much to help any suspicions."

Gerard hugged Frank closely. "I'm just glad I'm here to see you again," he sighed. "I missed you so much." He pulled away slightly and looked at Frank. "So, uhm... do you want to do anything today?" he asked, wanting to move away from the current discussion.

"Actually, yeah, but you can't know what it is."

Gerard blinked, confused. "Uhm... does it have to do with me, or?"

"No, you go home while I take Jamia out," Frank said, rolling his eyes.

Gerard laughed. "Well, then why can't I know?"

"Because it's a secret, dumbass!"

Gerard gave a dramatic sigh and crossed his arms. "Then how am I supposed to know what to do?"

Frank stepped closer and gave a menacing look. "You'll know when we get there," he said, trying to keep a straight face.

Gerard shrunk back a bit and blinked. "I'm not liking the sound of this."

Frank rolled his eyes and grabbed Gerard's hand, leading him to the car. "Shut up, you'll find out later and you'll love it."

Gerard followed, nervous, but somewhat amused. "You make it sound like you're going to lock me up or something."

"That wouldn't be _such_ a bad thing, would it?" Frank smirked as he unlocked the car before getting in and buckling up.

Gerard blushed when he realized what Frank meant. "Frank!" he scolded, getting in and smiling shyly.

Frank laughed and pulled out of the parking lot, feeling better than he had in weeks.

Gerard smiled and relaxed in his seat. He sat quiet for a few minutes. "Can I have a hint?" he asked, knowing well that he would start to bug Frank.

"No," Frank said, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Pleeease?"

"No, quit asking."

Gerard gave an exasperated sigh. "But whyyy?" he asked, trying to keep back a laugh.

"Because it's a _surprise_ ," Frank replied, starting to get annoyed.

"But it's just a hint!" Gerard giggled a little bit, failing at trying not to be obvious about teasing his boyfriend.

"You're gonna love it. That's your hint. Now shut up."

Gerard crossed his arms again and pouted. "You're so _difficult_."

"Can't you just fucking wait five minutes?" Frank started to slow down, nearing their destination.

"But I don't _want_ to wait, sheesh."

Frank stopped the car and turned in his seat to face Gerard. "If you don't want to wait, then we're not going anywhere. I'll take you right home, I swear."

Gerard gave another sigh. "Okay, okay, _fine_ ," he finally gave it, still pouting a bit.

"Good, now get out," Frank said, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car.

Gerard blinked, surprised and confused, but listened and did as he was told. He closed his door lightly and looked around.

Frank locked the car and stepped onto the sidewalk, taking Gerard's hand before heading down the street.

Gerard walked beside Frank, looking at him the whole time, confused. ' _What is he doing?_ ' he thought, trying to figure out Frank's surprise.

Frank kept looking at the buildings, trying to find the right one. He finally found what he was looking for and pushed open a glass door, walking into a building with white walls and floors. It was very spacious with various doors all up and down the walls, the only thing in the middle of the room was a desk with the receptionist sitting behind it, talking on the phone.

Gerard blinked and looked around, even _more_ confused. "Uhm... Frank... where are we?"

"For someone so good at art, you'd think you'd be able to recognize a studio." Frank walked up to the receptionist and told him who they were before he was handed a key to one of the doors.

Gerard twitched slightly. "Wait, what?" He looked around more. ' _I've never been in one before,_ ' he thought to himself. ' _Never thought I was good enough, and I never had the time, or anyone to go with..._ '

"Well, it's a different kind of studio but… an art studio nonetheless. Come on." Frank walked to the door with the same number written on it as the key and unlocked it before stepping in and turning on the light. Once Gerard was in, he shut the door and locked it behind him.

Gerard looked around the room, a bit wide eyed. "Frank, what's going on?" he asked, confused.

Frank set the key on a small side table and chewed on his lip ring nervously. "Well, like I said, this is a studio... but it's a body painting studio to be exact." Frank gestured towards the plastic covered backless couch next to rows and rows of paint tubes and brushes.

Gerard stared at the different colored paints and different sized brushes for a moment, then back to Frank, unsure of what to say.

"I... thought it'd be fun to try... I mean... we can do something else if you don't want to."

Gerard blushed a bit. "No, no, it's fine; I've just... never tried it before is all." He shifted his feet a bit shyly. "Have you?"

"Oh, yeah, I come here all the time with random people off the streets. It's my favorite hobby."

Gerard gave Frank a look. "Well, I don't _know_." He looked around some more. "Uhm... how does it all work then?" He blushed slightly; he had an idea of what it could be like, but he wasn't sure.

"Well, you just... paint on another person's skin and it's supposed to be fun and stuff..." Frank looked to the ground, suddenly feeling like an idiot for bringing Gerard here.

Gerard blushed a little more and pressed up against Frank slightly. "Could you, uhm... show me?"

"I-uhm... okay, just... lie on the couch and take your shirt off. Well, if you want to..." Frank went over to the rows of paint and picked a few colors and squeezed some of each onto a palette.

Gerard blushed a little more and sat on the couch. He pulled off his shirt and set it on the very end of the couch, shifting his feet slightly, looking around the room.

Frank grabbed a paintbrush and looked at Gerard, determining his next move. Before giving it too much thought, he pushed Gerard so he was lying down and got on top of him and set the palette on the side of the couch. He dipped a brush into some of the blue paint and bit his lip as he painted a line down Gerard's chest to the hem of his pants.

Gerard gasped, his face burning bright red as Frank got on top of him. He closed his eyes and let out a shuddery breath as he felt the cool touch of the paint run down his body.

Frank dipped the brush in the red paint and drew a swirl across Gerard's chest, mixing it with some of the blue to make purple. Gerard steadied his breath as best he could, feeling a shiver down his spine as the brush went against his skin softly.

Frank looked down at the hand holding the paintbrush for a minute before dropping it and dipping his index finger in the black paint. He gave himself a mental pep talk before running his finger across the bottom of Gerard's stomach.

Gerard took a deep breath in, letting out a long, shuddery sigh as he felt Frank's finger brush against him.

Frank got more paint on his finger and trailed it along Gerard's jawline, licking his lips as he did so. Gerard tipped his head back as Frank did, trying his best not to pant as he heart pounded in his chest.

"See? It's fun, isn't it?" Frank covered his whole hand in paint and rubbed Gerard's side up and down slowly.

Gerard nodded slightly, feeling a small smile start to play onto his lips. He breathed heavily as he felt Frank's hands feel up his body, cold with paint.

Frank smirked as he rubbed a small amount of paint on his lips before leaning down and kissing Gerard's neck.

Gerard let out a quiet gasp as his eyes flew open, then fluttered shut, letting out a small whimper.

When the paint wore off, Frank moved to the clean side of Gerard's neck and began to suck lightly as his hands explored Gerard's body, leaving trails of colors as he went. Gerard couldn't hold back his quiet pants, feeling his boyfriend's warm breath on his neck.

Frank sucked harder on the soft skin, reaching for paint whenever his hand would become dry. He ran his hand along the skin right before Gerard's pants started, his fingers thrumming lightly.

Gerard bit his lip as his breathing became heavier, a soft moan escaping his lips as he felt Frank's hands work around the lower parts of his body.

Frank unbuttoned Gerard's pants and reached his hand in, curling his fingers around Gerard's cock. Gerard gasped, licked his lips, and began to pant heavily as he felt Frank's hand around him.

Frank began to stroke Gerard slowly, using the paint as an alternative for lube.

Gerard started panting more, letting out a quiet whimper. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as Frank worked him slowly.

Frank began to kiss Gerard as he stroked him faster, occasionally running his thumb over the head of Gerard's cock.

Gerard breathed heavily, feeling his back arch as Frank continued on. Frank kissed Gerard deeper as he gave his cock a light squeeze. Gerard ran his tongue against Frank's, letting out a moan.

Frank stroked Gerard faster, rubbing his own erection against Gerard's thigh. Gerard moaned again, his pants becoming quicker, his hips rising slightly.

Frank bit Gerard's bottom lip as he rubbed against him harder, keeping up a fast pace with his strokes.

Gerard's breaths were light and quick. He slowly ran the tip of his tongue across Frank's upper lip and rested his hands lightly onto Frank's sides.

Frank moaned quietly, his pants becoming painfully tight as he continued to stroke Gerard. Gerard let out a small whimper, feeling his hips buck forward, as well as feeling Frank's erection up against him.

"Fuck, Gerard," Frank said, biting his bottom lip as he stroked Gerard quickly, tightening his grip.

Gerard let out another moan, feeling himself tighten up. He panted heavily and whimpered, feeling himself getting close.

Frank continued to stroke Gerard quickly as he bit into his shoulder, rubbing himself against Gerard's thigh with more pressure. Gerard gasped and bit his bottom lip, his body twisting slightly. He let out a quiet whine as he finally came.

Frank stroked Gerard a few more times, helping him to ride out his orgasm before letting go and sitting up, breathing heavily.

Gerard continued to quietly pant, his head tipped back, eyes closed, letting the feeling spread throughout his body.

Frank steadied his breathing before reaching for the stack of paper towels by the paints and cleaning both of them up.

Gerard sat himself up a bit, his eyes opened up halfway as he tried to steady his breath.

Frank half-smiled, suddenly becoming shy about the whole situation. ' _What the fuck is wrong with me? I just gave **him** a handjob and **I'm** shy?_'

When Gerard finally steadied his breathing enough, he looked up at Frank and gave a faint smile. "You said it would be fun, but I never expected it to be _that_ much fun."

Frank blushed and looked down. "Yeah well... me neither."

Gerard smiled a bit shyly and hesitated a moment, licking his lips slightly before asking, "So, can I try it out?"

"If you want... I brought you here so you could enjoy yourself."

Gerard blushed. ' _I already did,_ ' he thought. He cleared his throat and shyly said, "Well, uhm... are you going to take your shirt off then?"

"Oh, yeah," Frank said as he backed up a bit before taking his shirt off and tossing it to the floor.

Gerard blushed a little more. "Uhm... can you turn around?" He felt like a dork. ' _I just don't think I could be that sexual with him... it makes me so nervous. But painting? I can do that._ '

Frank nodded before turning around.

Gerard grabbed a few brushes and some black paint and sat and studied Frank's back for a moment. He dipped the tip of the smallest paintbrush into the paint and scooted closer and touched the brush to Frank's shoulder blade, drawing a light curve and running the line down close to Frank's hip.

Frank shivered from the coldness of the paint. ' _Fucking shit, why is it so cold?_ '

Gerard hesitated. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just didn't expect it to be so cold," Frank said, laughing quietly.

Gerard smiled a bit. "Sorry... I guess I forgot to tell you." He continued to paint, slowly stroking, occasionally dipping the brush in the black paint. He went all along the side of Frank's back and after a few minutes of inspection, moved to the other side. He felt a small smile form on his lips as he felt himself relax, his hands moving smoothly along with the brush.

Frank closed his eyes and breathed deeply, enjoying the feeling of the brush strokes against his skin.

Gerard continued for a while longer until he took his brush away and inspected his work. He added a few details before shifting himself a bit. "Try not to move your arms, okay?"

"Okay," Frank said, concentrating on not moving. ' _Maybe if I wasn't the most hyper fuck on the planet, this wouldn't be so hard._ '

The brush moved slowly down Frank's arm, stopping at the elbow. He worked as quick as he could manage while keeping the lines clean, then moved to the other arm, repeating as he'd done with the first.

"What are you doing back there?"

"Shh, you'll find out," Gerard answered quietly, putting on finishing touches and details.

Frank sighed and tried not to shift. ' _I hate waiting._ '

Gerard could feel Frank's impatience growing. "I'm almost done," he reassured, hoping his boyfriend would hang in for a few more moments.

"Okay..." Frank pretended he was playing guitar, moving his fingers accordingly, trying to keep himself busy.

Gerard painted for a few more moments before setting down his brush. "There. Done."

Frank twitched with anticipation. "Well... what is it? What did you do?"

Gerard looked around to try and find two mirrors. "Here," he said, spotting a few large movable mirrors in the back. He grabbed Frank's hand and led him over.

Frank twisted and turned to try to see what Gerard had done. "What? Goddammit. Help?"

Gerard laughed. "Here, stand in front of this mirror, but about a yard away," he instructed. He grabbed the other mirror and put it behind Frank. "Now look at the reflection in the mirror you’re looking at. Do you see the reflection of mirror facing your back?"

"I..." Frank strained his neck. "Yeah, there, I see now."

Gerard stepped aside to make sure Frank could see the angel-like wings he'd painted. He looked at them a bit, shifting slightly, feeling he could've done better, pointing out tiny details that could've made it look more realistic to himself.

"Wow... holy shit, Gee. That's fucking amazing!"

Gerard blushed and shifted his feet shyly, looking to the ground. "I-it's alright, I guess... I just... I dunno. I got the idea because, well... you know, angels save people, and well... you saved me."

"Aww, Gee..." Frank turned around and hugged Gerard tightly.

Gerard hugged Frank back, careful to not rub any of the paint off Frank's back or arms. He let go and pointed out, "I got your arms so if you lift them up, it looks like you're spreading your wings."

Frank turned so he could see himself in the mirror and lifted his arms. "Gerard, this is amazing, just... wow." Frank looked down and wiped his eyes, trying to hide the fact that he was now crying.

Gerard blinked slightly, surprised by Frank's reaction. He walked over and softly hugged his boyfriend from behind. "Come on angel, don't you cry."

Frank let out a half-laugh, half-sob. "You just... goddammit, I love you."

Gerard hugged Frank closer and rested his head softly on Frank's shoulder. "I love you too, my angel," Gerard whispered softly.

Frank smiled, not having words to explain how he felt.

Gerard lightly kissed Frank's cheek and buried his face gently in his boyfriend's neck.

Frank sighed and rubbed his thumb along Gerard's hand lightly. "I hate that I'm going to have to wash this off."

"You'll always have those wings, you just won't always see them."

"I can't wait until I can finally get a tattoo... if I could, I'd go down to the parlor right now so your work wouldn't have to wash away."

Gerard smiled softly and leaned his head against Frank's, closing his eyes. "Things will come and go. I don't mind -- it was fun to paint. And I'll always see you with those wings."

Frank looked up at the clock on the wall and winced. "Gee, we gotta get going..."

Gerard raised his head and nodded, gently letting go of Frank.

"There's showers through this door," Frank said, going through a door in the corner of the room.

Gerard nodded and followed Frank quietly, a warm smile on his lips as he watched his boyfriend.

Frank took off the rest of his clothes and set them on a bench before stepping into one of the showers and turning on the water.

Gerard slowly took off his own clothes, blushing, still feeling a bit self-conscious.

Frank waited for the water to heat up before he stepped into the spray, letting the warm water wash away all of the paint and sweat.

Gerard hesitated a few moments, looking around a bit. "U-uhm, Frank?"

"Hmm?" Frank asked, running his fingers through his hair.

"Can I, uhm..." he cleared his throat nervously. "Can I maybe... shower with you?"

Frank stopped moving and blinked a few times. "Uh... if you want...sure."

Gerard hesitated and slowly stepped into the shower, flinching when the water hit him, but relaxing himself as the water ran down his skin.

Frank stepped to the side to give Gerard more room and stared at the tiled wall, trying to give his boyfriend some privacy.

Gerard tipped his head back and let the water run through his hair a bit, breathing in some of the steam that it was giving off.

Frank looked up and stared at Gerard when he did that, unable to keep his gaze directed elsewhere. _'Why is everything you do so hot?_ '

Gerard tipped his head back down, his eyes closed, and ran his fingers gently through his hair, the excess water falling from his hair in small streams.

Frank bit his lip and reached out and ran his hand down Gerard's arm.

Gerard opened his eyes in surprise and looked up at Frank. "I-is something wrong?" he asked as the water ran itself down his body.

"No... I just... sorry," Frank said, retracting his arms and chewing on his lip ring, embarrassed.

Gerard tipped his head slightly, his wet hair sticking to his face. "You don't have to be sorry," he answered, blinking out of confusion.

Frank nodded and pushed Gerard's hair from his face. "You're beautiful, ya know that? You really are."

Gerard ducked his head shyly, blushing. "I-I dunno... I guess."

"No... you are. Trust me."

Gerard shrugged again. "I-if you say so."

"Well, I do, so start believing it," Frank said before closing the space between them and kissing Gerard.

Gerard's eyes grew wide and he blushed even harder, letting his eyes close as he kissed Frank back.

Frank pulled away, smiling. "We still need to wash all this off."

Gerard nodded and started to rub the paint off his chest and sides, and rubbed around his neck, too. "Uhm, I'll need you to help me make sure I got everything."

"You got most of it, here," Frank rubbed at the paint spots Gerard missed on his jaw and lower stomach until they were clean.

Gerard blushed slightly and nodded a shy 'thanks.'

"Okay, now you gotta help me, I can't see what I'm doing at all," Frank said, trying to rub the paint off of his arms.

"Well, you'll have to turn around," Gerard pointed out.

Frank rolled his eyes and turned around. Gerard gently pressed his fingers onto Frank's shoulders, running them gently down his boyfriend's back as he rubbed off the paint.

Frank's head fell forward so his chin was touching his chest, loving the feeling of Gerard's touch mixed with the warm water spraying down on him.

Gerard rubbed more, running his thumb on a few of the harder parts, slowly making his way down Frank's back.

Frank closed his eyes and leaned into Gerard's touch, not thinking about the fact that they were both naked and extremely close to each other.

Gerard rubbed a little harder, blushing as Frank leaned closer. He started to rub the lower part of Frank's back softly, his individual fingers working at the skin.

Frank let out a quiet moan. ' _Fucking hell his hands are magic._ '

Gerard blushed a little more and stepped closer, running his fingers at the very bottom of Frank's back, his thumbs rubbing gently on the small dip in his spine.

Frank leaned his head back on Gerard's shoulder, biting his lip to keep any involuntary sounds from escaping.

Gerard blushed more and stepped closer, his chest almost up against Frank's back. He had his hands on Frank's hips, and slowly wrapped one arm around Frank's waist, while he extended the other one a bit, running his hand down the front of Frank's hip.

Frank sighed and pressed against Gerard, giving him room to do whatever he wanted.

Gerard rested his chin gently on Frank's shoulder and reached down lower, his fingers slowly wrapping around Frank's cock, one at a time.

Frank let out a low, needy noise as his hips bucked forward into Gerard's touch.

Gerard gave a small squeeze and started to stroke Frank slowly and gently, his fingers slipping up and down smoothly as the water ran in between his fingers.

Frank whimpered, begging for more. ' _Jesus Christ his fucking **hands**._ '

Gerard licked his lips a little and started to stroke faster, rubbing his thumb over the tip every time he'd stroke.

"Fuck, Gerard, _fuck_ ," Frank moaned.

Gerard bit his lip and began stroking even faster, squeezing occasionally. He lifted his chin up and gently placed his lips on Frank's neck, sucking lightly.

Frank moaned quietly as he tried to stop his hips from thrusting too much, but he couldn't help it, he loved the feeling of Gerard's hands around him.

Gerard pulled Frank a bit closer as he started stroking more, letting the tip of each finger slide against the skin softly. He sucked harder on Frank's neck, letting his tongue press against the soft skin.

"Fuck, Gerard, I'm not gonna last long..." Frank bit down on his bottom lip hard, biting back a moan.

Gerard stroked faster, squeezing a little more, as he continued to suck. He took his mouth off Frank's neck and kissed a few times before biting down softly.

"Oh, Fuck!" Frank pressed into Gerard as he came, his mouth forming a perfect 'O' as his hips thrust forward instinctively, fucking Gerard's hand.

Gerard blushed in surprise, stroking a few more times as Frank came. He slowly came to a stop and unwrapped his fingers, one at a time, as the water washed his hand and Frank.

Frank stayed pressed against Gerard as he caught his breath. After a minute, he started to blush a deep red, extremely embarrassed at how he reacted. ' _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ ' Frank cleared his throat. "We uh... should be going..."

Gerard opened his eyes and blinked a few times, then nodded, washing himself off the rest of the way.

Frank stood up straight and rinsed off before stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist.

Gerard turned off the shower and grabbed a towel, drying himself off gently and wrapping it around himself.

Frank grabbed his clothes and ducked behind a stall and got dressed before coming back out and throwing his towel in the wash bin by the door.

Gerard quickly dressed himself and placed his towel in the bin as well and walked up, standing closely to Frank.

Frank smiled awkwardly and went back into the paint room and grabbed the key, unlocked the door, and stepped out, waiting for Gerard.

Gerard followed Frank out and stood next to him, giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Okay uhm... let's go then." Frank walked up to the receptionist and dropped the key on the desk before heading out the front door.

Gerard followed and grabbed Frank's hand before walking out the door with him.

Frank walked to the car, unlocked it, and got in. He buckled his seat belt and turned on the radio, hoping to avoid having to talk much, at least for a little bit.

Gerard settled himself into the passenger seat and fastened his seat belt. He looked out towards the road, and occasionally at Frank, but stayed quiet.

Frank was silent until they reached the crossing that would lead either to Frank's house or Gerard's. "Uhm... do you want me to take you home or..."

Gerard shrugged. "I dunno. I texted my parents while we were going to the studio, so they don't expect me home for a while."

"Oh, okay… let's hang out at my place for a bit then." Frank turned onto the road leading to his house, not yet ready to be apart from Gerard.

Gerard smiled and nodded as he relaxed in his seat, closing his eyes and listening to the radio as Frank drove.

When Frank pulled into his driveway, he hesitated when he saw his mom's car there as well. After a minute, he undid his seat belt and got out before heading towards the door.

Gerard unbuckled his seat belt and followed behind quietly, looking around and observing the surroundings.

Frank opened the door and walked in, sighing from relief when he didn't see his mom sitting on the couch.

Gerard followed and blinked, a bit confused by how Frank was acting. "You haven't really said much since we left the studio," he pointed out to Frank quietly.

"I haven't? Sorry... just been thinking." Frank began walking to his room when he ran into his mom in the hall.

"Hey, Frankie! Hey, Gerard!" his mom said loudly, catching both of them in a hug.

Before Gerard could respond, he felt himself pulled into a hug by Frank's mother. He tried his best to be friendly, but felt extremely awkward. "U-uhm, hello, Mrs. Iero," he greeted with a somewhat awkward smile.

Mrs. Iero let go of them and looked behind Gerard with a somewhat confused expression. "No Jamia today?"

"Uh, no, mom. She only came for a project we had."

"Oh," Frank's mom started, frowning slightly. "I thought you two were an item. But hey, who needs a relationship when you have good friends?" Frank's mom patted her son's shoulder before passing them by and heading into the kitchen.

Gerard twitched slightly. "You still haven't told her?" he whispered to Frank, feeling a bit hurt. ' _Why does he avoid telling anyone he's in a relationship with me? He's obviously allowed to date... and his mom seems to like me. What's the problem?_ '

Frank simply sighed and went into his room before lying down on his bed with a pillow over his head.

Gerard followed Frank into his room and gently shut the door behind him. He sat down on the bed and stared at Frank for a few minutes. "I don't want to prod," he began with a sigh. "But you seem to avoid telling _anyone_ we're dating... I mean, yeah, some people have figured it out, but it's not obvious to everyone. Is there a reason why?"

Frank removed the pillow and stared at the ceiling. "I just don't think everyone needs to know."

Gerard frowned. "But it's caused a few problems," he pointed out. "And of all the people to know, your parents should be on the top of that list. The only reason I came out is because I thought it better that my parents know I'm in a relationship with you rather than finding out on their own, which would just be awkward and kind of rude to them, like I don't trust them or something."

"It's just... my mom talks a lot... and I don't want her to slip up and tell someone who shouldn't know."

Gerard blinked. "Someone who shouldn't know? I know not everyone _needs_ to know but..."

 "But?" Frank asked, his fingers beginning to play with the hem of his shirt.

"Who exactly are you referencing shouldn't know?" Gerard asked, wording the question as best he could. "Is there someone you don't want to know about it?"

"Well, my dad for one, and our classmates."

Gerard flinched. "Wait, _what_? Your dad? But... I thought your parents knew."

Frank shook his head. "No, I said my mom knew... never said anything about my dad."

Gerard fell silent for a moment. "Why?" he finally dared to ask, feeling nervous.

"He just... isn't as accepting as my mom is."

Gerard tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He put a hand gently on Frank's leg and looked at him, not sure of what to say or ask.

Frank sighed and stared at the wall. "I'm sorry... I just didn't want him to tell me I couldn't see you anymore. He banned me from seeing my last boyfriend and he didn't even know we were dating, he just thought I had a gay best friend but to him... that was unacceptable."

Gerard laid down next to Frank and hugged him closely. "You could've told me... I would've understood," he whispered, resting his face gently on Frank's arm.

"I just felt bad because you told your parents and I couldn't even tell mine."

Gerard hugged Frank even closer. "My parents are at least accepting of the subject... even if they don't like it. You can't control how your dad feels about it."

"I know but still... I'm sorry."

Gerard rested his head on Frank's shoulder. "It's okay," he whispered. "I understand."

Frank closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "I just hate how we're keeping it secret from most people... you don't deserve that."

"Frank, if it's because it could end up separating us, I understand. It's okay. As long as I have you..."

"I just don't want what happened to my last boyfriend to happen to you... I couldn't take that. I'd never forgive myself."

"Shh..." Gerard kissed Frank's cheek softly. "It's okay. It won't happen. And even if your dad did find out and tried... I think my dad would try to figure out _some_ way to threaten to sue or something, like he always does." Gerard gave a small smile, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"Noo, my dad could beat up your dad," Frank joked.

Gerard laughed. "Then he'd file a report against your dad!"

"Oh, sure, take the more civil approach."

Gerard laughed again. "Well, in case you haven't noticed, the Way family isn't the most muscular group of people out there... we're thinkers more than fighters."

Frank rolled his eyes. "Hey, in case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty small, but I'd kick anyone's ass if I needed to!"

"Just 'cause you're short doesn't mean you aren't strong," Gerard pointed out with a playful smile.

"True, I mean, you're taller than me and I dominate you. Not like you put up much of a fight though," Frank said with a smirk.

Gerard blushed and buried his face into Frank's shoulder. "Frankie!" he scolded with a shy giggle.

Frank laughed for a second before a thought crossed his mind. He put his hand on Gerard's chest and pushed him off the bed while laughing hysterically.

Gerard fumbled onto the floor and sat himself up a bit, shaking his head. "Hey! What was that for?" he asked, mostly out of pure confusion.

"I don't like sharing my bed," Frank said as he spread eagle across the bed, taking up as much space as he could.

"Well, you didn't mind _last_ time," Gerard pointed out, getting back on top of the bed and climbing on top of Frank, kissing him on the lips.

Frank laughed and rested his hands on Gerard's hips. "Things change, Gee. Better get used to it."

Gerard rested his forehead on Frank's. "Oh yeah? So does that mean _I'm_ top now? 'Cause I could be if I wanted to."

Frank blushed and looked down slightly. "Well not _all_ things change. Not at once anyway."

Gerard smirked. "What? Are you _scared_ or something?"

"No, why would I be scared?" Frank scoffed.

"'Cause you know I could be more top that you," Gerard teased.

"That's bullshit and you know it."

Gerard laughed. "Oh yeah? Prove me wrong then!"

Frank's eyes widened as he blushed even more. "It's getting late... maybe I should take you home..."

Gerard blinked. "U-uhm... I guess..." He felt a little disappointed by Frank's sudden change, but was afraid to question it.

Frank gently pushed Gerard off of him and sat up, glancing around his room for his keys.

Gerard sat up and looked at Frank for a few moments. "I don't want to be one to keep bringing up bad subjects, but you've been acting a bit odd today."

"W-what are you talking about? I'm fine."

Gerard gave Frank a firm look. "I mean, you've practically been avoiding anything, y'know... flirty. I'd understand if that's how it's always been, but... you've never been really shy or hesitant about it before."

Frank sighed and looked at his shoes. "I'm sorry... I just get like that sometimes. It's only when bad memories pop up and... I've been thinking a lot lately and... yeah."

Gerard twitched slightly. "Bad memories?"

"Yeah... just memories of my teacher and all the things he used to say and do. I guess things kinda trigger the memories but. I mean, it doesn't happen every time..." Frank's shoulders hunched inwards as he became more and more embarrassed by his admission. He knew he shouldn't think of his abuser when he was with his boyfriend but he couldn't always help it. "Let's just go okay?"

Gerard nodded quietly and unwrapped his arms from Frank and stood up, waiting.

Frank grabbed his keys off the floor and stood up before heading downstairs. Gerard followed Frank from behind quietly, wishing he could help his boyfriend out more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, we are just a little more than half way done with the fic! Did I mention it's a really long one? Please review!


	19. Just Like Up On The Screen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late dawns and early sunsets, just like my favorite scenes.  
> Then holding hands and life was perfect, just like up on the screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville" by My Chemical Romance

Frank stood by the school doors, waiting for Gerard. His hands were stuffed in his jacket, feeling the beginning effects of the fall season.

Gerard got out of the car, grabbing his bag and nodding a thanks to his mother before heading up to the school. He smiled when he spotted Frank.

"Hey, Gee!" Frank smiled and took his headphones out before stuffing them into his pocket.

Gerard ran up to Frank and hugged him tightly. "Hi, Frankie!" Gerard greeted, burying his face into his boyfriend's warm neck.

Frank wrapped one arm around Gerard, not willing to let both of his hands freeze. "Let's head inside. I'm freezing my ass off!"

Gerard giggled and nodded, taking Frank's hand in his own as they walked into the school.

When they walked in, all Frank could see were brightly colored posters lining the walls. He felt a lump in his throat as he realized what this meant. Prom. ' _Oh shit._ ' Frank pulled Gerard towards the chemistry classroom, praying he wouldn't have a chance to read any of the obnoxious signs or banners.

Gerard blinked, staring at Frank confused as he quickly made his way into the classroom with him. "Uhm... I know I haven't been to school for a bit, but what's the rush?"

"N-no reason," Frank said as he set his bag next to his seat.

Gerard gave Frank a look. "Okay, what's up?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"Nothing! I just wanted to get to the class room because... it's more private." Frank tried hard to sound convincing, but he was pretty sure he failed.

Gerard's eyebrows furrowed. "Frank, come _on_ , I know you better than you think."

"No you don't."

Gerard got a stern look. "Seriously, Frank. What's up? You ran through the halls like there were Hellhounds on our trail."

Frank sighed and sat in his seat. "I just didn't want you to see the posters for prom..."

"You think I wouldn't know about it? I don't need to see the posters; you can practically _feel_ the desperate attempt to gather up enough social contact to be cool enough to get a date and all that shit. And it's annual, so..."

"Oh... yeah... guess I wasn't really thinking..."

Gerard shifted his position. "What's so bad about Prom, anyways? I mean, I've never gone, so I dunno..."

"It's just... a lot of pressure and stuff, just like any other dance I guess."

Gerard shrugged. "I guess... though I don't see why. I mean, it's just a matter of getting a suit and a date, right? How hard is that? I mean, for some people, the date part... yeah."

Frank laughed nervously and looked to the ground. "I always hated finding a date. I could never decide between the girl I really like and the guy I really liked."

Gerard blinked. " _You've_ been to Prom? But you're an underclassman..."

"I like to date older people."

Gerard blushed slightly. "Well, at least I fit _that_ requirement."

"True, only I don't know how guys end prom night, I mean, straight couples always end up fucking but..." Frank laughed and pulled out his notebook as a distraction.

Gerard turned bright red and ducked his head. "W-well I wouldn't know... I've never gone."

"Guess we'll just have to play it by ear then."

Gerard blushed even more. "W-wait, what?"

"Uhm...we'll just have to wait to find out?"

"No, I mean... we, what? Are you asking me to Prom or something?"

Frank blushed and continued staring at his notebook. "Well... don't you want to go?"

Gerard shrugged. "I-I guess... I mean, I've never gone before, so... why not?"

"You don't seem too enthusiastic about it. We don't have to go; well... _you_ don't have to go."

Gerard twitched. "It's not that I'm not enthusiastic about it. I'd love to go. I'm just... nervous." ' _Because I've never been on a date, let alone gone to a dance with someone._ '

"It's not something to be nervous about... it's just a night of dancing and having fun and... you know, the usual."

"The usual?"

"Ah... you know, just... stuff. Hey, school is gonna start soon. Maybe you should get your stuff ready?" Frank took out a pen and began doodling in his notebook, hoping Gerard would drop the subject.

Gerard sighed, sensing Frank didn't want to talk about it anymore. He sat down and pulled out his chemistry notebook and began to doodle in that -- he'd forgotten his sketchbook at home.

When the students began to file in, Frank hunched over his notebook protectively, shielding it from anyone's view except his own. Mr. Sherwaul walked into the room and automatically went for Gerard, picking up his chemistry notebook without permission. "So, Mr. Way, what do we have here?"

Gerard flinched and glared up at the teacher. " _My_ property, _sir_ ," he answered, practically spitting the words.

"Yes, _your_ property, which is disrupting _my_ class. You know you're not allowed to do anything but take notes in here. So, tell me, what kind of notes are these?"

Gerard stood up and grabbed a firm hold of his notebook. "They're _my_ notes which _I_ use to study. Not yours for you. If you want for my notes to be so perfect and flawless to your liking, _you_ take them for me," he growled, holding back the urge to punch the greying man in the face.

Mr. Sherwaul blinked a few times before letting go of Gerard's notebook. He then turned to Frank who was still hunching over his own notebook. He took it out from under Frank's arm and looked at what Frank was drawing, his eyes growing wide. "Mr. Iero, you need to make your way to the principal's office right this minute." Frank looked to Gerard, a panicked expression on his face.

Gerard shot a look at Mr. Sherwaul, and slammed his hand down on the desk, looking the teacher right in the eyes with a look of death. "You make him go to the principal's office and I swear to dear fucking Mother Mary, I will walk out of this classroom and it will be the last time you ever see me, him, or _any_ of your students, you bitter, self-indulged, crabby, old bastard."

Mr. Sherwaul smirked and turned back to Frank. "Iero, to the office. Now!"

Frank silently grabbed his bag and ran out of the room, heading towards the main office.                Once Frank had left, Mr. Sherwaul looked at Gerard and whispered, "What are you gonna do about it, punk?" With that, he went to his desk and began turning on the projector.

Gerard walked up right behind Mr. Sherwaul and grabbed his shoulder. " _This_ ," he snarled before spinning the teacher around and swinging his notebook at him, slapping the older man violently across the face. He stalked back to his desk and grabbed his stuff. "Have fun looking in the ads for someone willing to hire a sadistic fuck who likes to harass teenagers," he spat before walking out of the classroom and slamming the door with all his strength. He made his way towards the main office, hoping he'd catch up to Frank.

Frank was halfway down the hall when he heard footsteps behind him. He stopped and closed his eyes, praying it wasn't Mr. Sherwaul coming to yell at him some more.

Gerard put a hand on Frank's shoulder, panting a bit. "That's it," he huffed, "I'm done. He thought I was joking about getting him fired, but he's in for an unpleasant surprise."

Frank opened his eyes and turned to Gerard. "You can't be serious."

Gerard looked Frank in the eyes. "I'm _completely_ serious," he growled, his eyes cold. "I'm tired of his shit. He's been harassing me for _years_. Either he gets fired, or I swear to God, I'm going a take a fucking _knife_ to that man's throat."

Frank stepped back from Gerard, his small frame shaking slightly. "I-I gotta go to the office," he said as he turned and headed down the hall.

"Technically, I do too," Gerard answered and followed behind silently, his lips pursed thin, expression hard.

Frank walked into the office and sat in a chair outside the principal's door, waiting his turn to be punished.

Gerard didn't even sit, but instead walked up to the receptionist and whispered something to her. A flash of fear flew across her face, but was quickly gone, and she nodded and got up, leading Gerard into the back.

Frank watched as Gerard went with the secretary. ' _What the fuck is he doing?_ ' He sat in the chair, waiting for what seemed like an hour before falling asleep, drained from the drama of the day's events.

Gerard finally walked out of the principal's office, giving a firm handshake and a nod to the older man before walking up to Frank and waking him up. "Frank," he whispered.

Frank awoke with a start, completely forgetting where he was. "Huh? Oh, hey... what took you so long?"

Gerard shook his head softly. "It doesn't matter, we're excused for the day," he informed. "The school officer will escort us to Mr. Sherwaul's room to get the rest of our stuff, and bring _him_ to _his boss_. We can go home."

"Are you serious? How much trouble are we in?"

"We're not," Gerard answered simply, looking up as the officer approached.

"Mr. Way? Mr. Iero?" the uniformed man beckoned. Gerard nodded. The officer looked at him for a moment, his expression unreadable. "I apologize for your lack of acceptable learning environment that has been occurring for some time now," he finally said. "We'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

Gerard nodded quietly and turned back to Frank. "Come on, let’s get your stuff. He can't do or say anything now."

Frank nodded and stood up before walking out into the hall, towards the classroom. The officer walked in front of the two boys, escorting them to their destination. He opened it up and looked at the students, who seemed suddenly shocked. "Mr. Sherwaul," the officer bellowed. "We've come for Mr. Way and Mr. Iero's belongings that you may have confiscated unrightfully. You are to report to Dr. Cauffer's office. _Immediately_." Gerard stood from behind the officer, staring down Mr. Sherwaul with a malicious glare and defiant smirk.

Mr. Sherwaul paused before standing up and heading out the door, shoving both notebooks against Frank's chest as he passed. Frank struggled to hold on to the notebooks and once he finally got a hold of them, he clutched them tight to his chest and blushed bright red.

"Don't doubt a Way," Gerard hissed to Mr. Sherwaul as he passed by, shooting him an evil glare. ' _And thus, the tables have finally turned._ '

Frank looked up at Gerard and shook his head, unsure of how to react to everything.

Gerard seemed to relax immediately as Mr. Sherwaul was passed them. The officer turned around and faced the two teens. "You can find your ways to the parking lot, I presume?" he inquired. Gerard nodded. "Good. I need to watch the classroom, since there needs to be adult supervision at all times over class. You two are dismissed for the day, and I once again apologize for any inconveniences this may have caused either of you."

Gerard gave another quietly nod and turned to Frank, his eyes soft once more. "C'mon... let's go."

Frank nodded and turned out of the class room, walking out the school doors and into the parking lot, silent the entire time.

Gerard followed, looking down to the ground, his body relaxed. He looked up to Frank. "I, uhm... feel like you were a bit... off put by my demeanor," he pointed out.

"Oh yeah? What gave you that idea?" Frank opened the car door and threw his bag and the notebooks into the back before climbing in and starting the engine.

Gerard sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I don't know how to explain it, but..." he looked down, falling silent, trying to collect his thoughts as he put his stuff in the back and got in the passenger's seat. "It's a weird tick my family has. I think a learned behavioral habit from my dad. He's fairly normal and stuff, yeah... but when he gets on a case... he just gets this almost snake-like personality. It just sort of... _happens_. And I can be the same way. It's like, our thoughts are running a million miles a minute, yet somehow we sort it out, and outsmart the other person. But we're cruel and calculating and downright heartless about it... and it's like a trance. And once you snap out of it, you just kind of feel... numb. But in an odd way, you pretty much go back to the feeling you were having before. It's like another personality, almost," He sighed. "That probably makes no sense."

"It makes sense. It's just fucking scary and all kinds of fucked up," Frank said as he turned out of the parking lot, taking the road to Gerard's house.

Gerard sighed. "I know... I always hate myself after it happens. I feel like I was possessed by a demon or some shit. It's like... I don't even remember half the stuff I said. The conversation was a blur. I remember blackmailing a bit too. And bringing up the case from a few years back. And just... ugh... I don't like it. This is why I don't want to be a lawyer. I don't want to do shit like that for a living."

"Look, it doesn't matter. It's over. Let's just get you home so you can relax."

Gerard shrugged. "I'm fine. I'm just worried about _you_." He shot Frank a questioning glance. "What in that notebook were you drawing that would set him off like that, anyways?"

"Nothing. He was just being an asshole." Frank turned down Gerard's street and pulled into his driveway. "Okay, here we are, out you go!"

Gerard blinked and looked at Frank. "You're not going to come in with me?"

"I... wasn't planning on it."

Gerard frowned, his expression falling. "Oh..."

"I can come if you want though," Frank said, not wanting to disappoint his boyfriend.

Gerard's expression brightened a bit. "A-are you sure?"

"Yeah, come on." Frank reached back and grabbed his bag before getting out of the car and walking up to the porch.

Gerard grabbed his stuff, jumped out of the car, and made his way to the front door, unlocking it and walking in before setting his stuff down on the floor.

Frank followed Gerard in and set his bag down by the wall. "I gotta head to the bathroom real quick," Frank said as he walked down the hall and into the restroom.

Gerard nodded and watched Frank disappear into the room. He suddenly felt an overbearing wave of curiosity hit him. He looked down at Frank's bag, which had the notebook sticking out of it. Half of him wanted to respect Frank's privacy... but the other half was gnawing at him to take a look. ' _He said himself it was nothing... maybe it was just doodles? But the look on Mr. Sherwaul's face..._ ' He stood for a few more seconds before gently pulling out the notebook. He hesitated a moment, not sure of whether to look or not.

When Frank came back into the living room, he saw Gerard holding his notebook. Before he could even think, he launched himself at Gerard, trying to get the notebook out of his grip. "Dammit, Gerard! What were you doing?!"

Gerard jumped back in surprise, dropping the notebook. "I-it fell out of your bag!" he gasped quickly, shrinking away from Frank and taking a few steps back.

"Don't fucking lie to me! You were trying to look in it!" Frank scrambled to his feet, holding the notebook closely to his chest.

"Jesus Christ, Frank, you make it out like you have some kind of satanic ritual written down in that thing!"

"Oh, come on! All I have is drawings and shit. Nothing _satanic._ "

"How would I know? You might as well super-glue that thing shut or get a padlock for it with how reclusive you are. I mean, I know _I_ can be nervous about people at my work, but this is just _ridiculous_!"

Frank's shoulders hunched as he looked down. "I just don't want some people seeing what's in here. How is that ridiculous?"

"Some people? It's like you shelter it from the whole world! You about murdered me because I was _holding_ it!" Gerard huffed and rolled his shoulders, making his way into the living room and lying down on the couch.

Frank followed Gerard and stood by the arm of the couch. "Why are you so upset? I just don't want people seeing what I think about."

"I'm not upset," Gerard mumbled, rubbing his forehead, eyes shut. "I just... ugh..."

"You just... what?"

"Nothing," Gerard mumbled, turning on his side. "I just need sleep."

"But..." Frank sighed and walked to where his bag was. "I'll just go then," he said as he picked up his bag, tossing it over his shoulder.

"I said I needed sleep, not that I wanted you to leave."

"No, I better be going home anyway... see ya." Frank hesitated before making his way back to the couch. He tore out a page from his notebook and set it at the end of the couch before heading quickly out the door.

Gerard sat up and sighed, wishing Frank had stayed, when he saw a piece of paper that Frank had left. He hesitated a moment before picking it up and looking at it.

The page was split into two panels. One picture showing both of them on a stage, Gerard holding a microphone in hand as Frank shouldered a guitar, standing extremely close to Gerard as he licked the side of his face. The other panel showed them in a dressing room, Frank sitting on a

Table, head tilted back as he held onto Gerard's shoulders, clearly showing them having sex.

Gerard stared at the two pictures for a moment, his face reddening. He kept looking from the first panel to the second, back and forth, trying to settle his dizzying thoughts. ' _This is what he thinks about?_ ' was all his mind could muster up, in plain question, no tone to it.

 

* * *

Frank sat at a table, hood up, as he stared down at his lunch, thinking too much to eat.

Gerard quietly made his way out into the courtyard, his thoughts whirling. He looked around and spotted Frank, looking extra anti-social with his hood over his head. He walked over quietly and sat down next to the short sophomore.

Frank instinctively scooted closer to Gerard for warmth before mumbling a quiet, "Hey."

Gerard pressed up next to Frank. "Hey... are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Think I might be getting a cold. Nothing too bad. How're you?"

Gerard shrugged. "Tired, but nonetheless, good." He sat quietly for a few moments before asking, "So, uhm... are you busy after school?"

Frank rested his head on Gerard's shoulder. "I'm never busy unless we're doing something."

Gerard blinked and gently wrapped his arm around Frank's waist and pulled him a bit closer, sensing he was still cold. "Well, I was thinking... do you wanna go see a movie or something?"

"Sure," Frank answered, smiling. "What do you wanna see?"

Gerard shrugged. "I dunno, I was gonna let you decide," he replied, kissing Frank on the cheek.

"Well, the new Saw movie is out," Frank said, looking up at Gerard hopefully.

' _A horror movie? Shit..._ ' Gerard felt a twinge of panic, but he couldn't help but smile and say, "Sure!" ' _God, how does he make such an adorable face like that? How could I say no?_ '

"Awesome! I've been dying to see it!" Frank snuggled closer to Gerard and sniffled a bit.

Gerard hugged Frank tightly, both to try and warm him, and to try and comfort himself a bit. ' _Oh, God, this is gonna be fucking scary, I just know it... but so long as I have Frank with me..._ '

Frank looked at his watch and sighed, exasperated. "I wish school was over already."

Gerard kissed Frank's forehead. "It'll be over soon enough," he reassured. "Unless you want to _make_ it end early."

"I don’t think I have the energy to move and run off right now."

Gerard hugged Frank closer. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm used to feeling like this when the weather turns. I'll live," Frank said, forcing a small smile.

Gerard still looked at Frank worriedly, but didn't say anymore as he rested his chin on top of Frank's head.

When the bell finally rang, Frank quickly wrapped his arms around Gerard, giving him a tight squeeze before standing up and hurrying off into the building.

Gerard blushed a bit before gathering his stuff and quickly making his way off to his next class.

By the time school ended, Frank was so desperate to leave that when Gerard made his way outside; he was already in the car, waiting for his boyfriend.

Gerard looked around, confused. ' _Where is he?_ ' He finally spotted Frank sitting in his car, and bounded over and got in. "You're ready to leave this place, huh?"

"More than you know," Frank said as he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, heading towards the city.

Gerard blinked, wanting to ask what Frank meant by that, but thought better and kept quiet, looking out the window as the scenery passed by. "Fall is coming pretty soon," he remarked softly.

"I know. Halloween soon!" Frank pulled his hood off and ran a hand through his hair as he drove.

Gerard smiled. "I know! It's my favorite holiday, honestly. I don't know why. I guess because it has a dark tone to it, but it's mostly a light-hearted event."

"It's my favorite because it doubles for my birthday." Frank slowed down slightly as they reached the inner city streets.

"Your birthday is on Halloween?" Gerard replied with a grin. "So, you get cake, presents, _and_ free candy for your birthday? Cool!"

"Yeah, it's pretty sweet, not gonna lie. Hey! You didn’t know when my birthday is? Wow, thanks for caring!"

"You never told me! I bet you don't know when _my_ birthday is... unless you did some creeping around or something, since I never mentioned it."

"I know when it is! ... Okay, no, I don't." Frank pulled into the theater's parking lot and turned off the car.

Gerard laughed. "April ninth. Not as easy to remember," he answered, unbuckling his seat belt.

"Of course you have to be difficult," Frank teased as he got out and walked around to open Gerard's door.

"Sorry I'm not easy," Gerard responded, sticking out his tongue, before getting out and kissing Frank on the cheek.

"Seem pretty easy to me." Frank smirked and grabbed Gerard's hand, leading him into the theater.

Gerard gave Frank a small push and glared at him playfully, blushing and smiling slightly as he followed.

Frank walked up to the ticket kiosk and had to stand on his toes slightly to be seen fully over the counter. "Two for Saw, please." He got out his wallet and waited for the crabby looking woman to print the tickets.

Gerard nudged Frank. "Uhm... _I_ invited you, _I_ pay," he whispered, pulling out some cash. "Spend that on food if you want."

Frank blushed and put his wallet away. The older woman pushed the tickets through the slot and looked down at Frank. "Are you old enough to be seeing this movie?"

Frank glared and snatched the tickets off the counter and waited for Gerard to pay.

Gerard flashed his ID with a quiet nod before handing the woman the money and grabbing Frank's hand, walking into the theater.

"She probably thinks I'm your little brother or some shit," Frank said, a sour expression on his face.

"I wouldn't ever do anything with Mikey that I've done with you," Gerard replied with an odd look.

Frank bust out laughing, having to stop mid-step to catch his breath. "Well, thank God for that!"

Gerard grinned and kissed Frank's cheek. "The movie starts in about ten minutes, so I guess if we wanna get food, we should do it now."

Frank nodded and made his way to the candy counter, ordering only a coke before turning to Gerard and asking if he wanted anything.

Gerard shrugged. "I'll take a coke, too."

When the candy girl set their drinks on the counter, Frank handed her exact change before grabbing the sodas, handing one to Gerard.

Gerard nodded a thanks and walked closely next to Frank as they made their way down to the assigned theater.

Frank looked around for a seat, thankful the theater was mostly empty. He made his way up the aisle towards the back before sitting down.

Gerard sat down next to Frank, starting to feel apprehensive. ' _Oh fuck, what do I do? I paid to see this, so I should watch, but fuck, I don't want to. I'm fucking scared. Fuck, fuck, fuck._ '

Frank set his cup into the holder next to him and looked at Gerard. "Are you gonna be okay to watch this?"

Gerard looked at Frank. "What? Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine."

"If you say so..." Frank held Gerard's hand as the opening credits rolled, hoping to help his boyfriend relax.

Gerard tried to swallow the lump in his throat, giving Frank's hand a squeeze as he tried to keep his heart from bursting in his chest.

When the movie opened with a trapped couple facing a table saw, Frank leaned forward, eyes wide, completely drawn into the suspense.

Gerard's eyes grew wide and he immediately looked down, screwing his eyes shut. ' _So much for watching the movie. Nope, nope, nope._ '

Frank looked over at Gerard, hoping to share his excitement when the girl finally got sawed in half, but saw him staring at his lap. Frank sat back in his seat and gently squeezed Gerard's hand. "Gee, open your eyes. It's just a movie," he whispered.

Gerard shook his head, completely tense. ' _I know it's just a movie but it's fucking scary and it seems so realistic and God damn it, why do I have to be such a baby about all this?_ '

Frank sighed and leaned closer to Gerard. "Come on, it really isn’t that bad..."

"I'm fine," Gerard whimpered through clenched teeth, trying to force a smile as he looked up at Frank, but ending up looking awkward instead.

Frank shook his head and laughed quietly. "Come _on_ , Gee. This is the most unrealistic shit."

Gerard looking around, swallowing hard. "I-I guess," was all he said, in a shaky whimper. ' _Ugh, why am I such a coward?_ '

Frank leaned forward and nipped at Gerard's neck a little, trying to get his mind in a better place before turning his attention back to the screen.

Gerard blushed a bit at the action, and looked down, still nervous. ' _Come on, at least_ try _to watch the movie._ ' Gerard mustered up his courage and looked up at the screen slightly.

Frank jumped back when someone got impaled through the eyes and mouth, but tried to remain calm so Gerard wouldn’t think him a hypocrite.

Before the gruesome act ensued, Gerard squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the noise. ' _It's just a movie, it's just a movie. Come on, calm the fuck down._ '

Once the film quieted down for a minute, Frank glanced at Gerard. "You don’t have to sit through this if you don’t want, ya know."

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Gerard tried to reassure Frank, doing his best to keep his voice from shaking.

Frank pushed the armrest up between them and scooted closer to Gerard, resting a hand on his thigh. "Just remember, it's not real."

"I know, I know..." ' _But it seems so real. Fuck, why do they have to have special effects? Why?_ '

"Then calm down..." Frank rubbed Gerard's thigh as he continued to watch the movie.

Gerard blushed slightly at Frank's touch, and tried to take a few deep breaths. ' _Maybe if I stare at the seat in front of me, it'll look like I'm watching the movie, and he won't worry so much._ '

Frank focused on the movie for a while, occasionally letting his hand wander to the inside of Gerard's thigh.

Gerard blushed more, his focus starting to wander away from the theater, and more to Frank's hand.

Frank stared at the screen, a slight smile on his face as his hand ghosted over Gerard's crotch before returning to his thigh, pretending nothing happened.

Gerard's breath stopped for a moment as he felt his face burn. He squeezed his eyes shut and made himself take a silent deep breath before staring back at the seat in front of him.

As the movie reached its end, Frank squeezed Gerard's inner thigh before removing his hand seconds before the theater lights flickered on.

Gerard tried keeping himself from turning a dark shade of red, trying to keep himself concentrated on the back of the seat.

Frank stretched and sat up straight. "See? Wasn’t too bad, was it?"

Gerard blinked, snapping out of his small daze. "Huh? What?"

"The movie? You actually survived it."

Gerard looked around, got up, and stretched a bit. "I, uh, I guess so."

Frank smiled and stood up, grabbing Gerard's hand as they walked out of the theater.

Gerard pressed closely to Frank, feeling just a bit dizzy from having focused on a specific spot for so long. He looked up at the sky. "Uhm... well, it still seems kind of early..."

Frank looked around and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Uhm, well... do you want to do anything?"

Frank shrugged and pulled his hood up. "I don’t really wanna go home yet. What are you in the mood for? I kinda owe you for making you sit through that."

Gerard shrugged as well. "You don't owe me anything; I agreed to it. But I dunno, maybe a walk through the park?"

"Sure, sounds nice."

Gerard nodded. "There's this nice park on the outskirts of Newark... if you don't mind the drive."

"Sure, why not?" Frank said as he opened the car door and got in.

Gerard got into the passenger's seat and buckled himself in. He looked up to the sky, which was starting to pale into sunset. ' _Maybe we could watch the sunset together?_ '

Frank buckled his seat belt and started up the car before pulling into the street and beginning to drive.

Gerard made himself comfortable in the seat, dazing off a bit as he watched the sky. "So," he started. "What's the plan for Prom, anyways?"

Frank's grip tightened on the steering wheel. "I-I'm not sure."

Gerard looked over to Frank and blinked. "What's wrong? It's not like its life and death or anything... it's just a dance. If you don't want to go..."

"No, I want to go. I mean, I really want to take you. I just haven’t thought about it much."

Gerard blinked a few more times and turned back to the sky. "Don't worry about it all too much, okay? It's supposed to be a fun thing."

Frank focused on the road and sighed. "Sorry... I just want everything to be good for you. I'm worried I'll fuck it up."

Gerard's gaze softened. "Just being with you will make it perfect," he whispered.

Frank blushed and quickly smiled at Gerard before returning his eyes to the road.

Gerard settled himself in the seat again, resting his eyes as the car hummed along the road.

As they neared the outside of Newark, Frank slowed down and looked around. "Uh, Gerard? I don’t really know where I'm going."

Gerard opened his eyes. "Oh, sorry." He gave Frank a few directions, straightening himself up in his seat as they neared the destination.

Frank pulled up along the curb outside the park and turned off the engine.

Gerard quietly got out, looking at the forested area in front of them.

Frank hopped out of the car, locking it behind him and zipping up his hoodie.

Gerard walked over to Frank and pressed up next to him, taking a hold of his boyfriend's hand and giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

Frank smiled and looked around the park, observing how big it was. "So, lead the way."

Gerard nodded quietly, taking a trail that led into the forest. He took a deep breath, breathing in the autumn air as a few fallen leaves crunched under their feet.

Frank stuck his free hand in his pocket and looked up at the canopy of trees, praying the colors would change soon.

Gerard continued down the trail then stopped, looking at the fork in front of them. "Uhm... which way do you wanna take? I don't care either way."

Frank thought for a moment before answering, "Left," and heading down the path.

Gerard nodded and continued with Frank, peering through spots in the trees at the darkening sky.

Frank sniffled a bit and stared at the ground, concentrating on crunching every leaf in his path.

Gerard looked over and watched Frank, smiling warmly.

After a minute, Frank could feel Gerard watching him. He looked up, blushing lightly. "What are you looking at?"

Gerard giggled and looked back up at the sky. "Just you," he replied softly, giving Frank's hand a gentle squeeze.

Frank shook his head before he had to stop walking to endure a random coughing fit.

Gerard flinched and put his hands on Frank's shoulders. "A-are you okay?" he asked worriedly, pulling Frank a bit closer. He took one hand from a shoulder and gently rubbed Frank's back.

Frank waited to catch his breath before he responded. "I'm fine; it's just allergies, I think."

Gerard frowned. "Do you wanna go back?"

"No way! If I stopped my life every time I got a little sick, I'd never see the light of day."

"I don't want you pushing yourself," Gerard whispered, gazing worriedly at Frank.

"Gerard, I said I'm fine, okay?" Frank smiled reassuringly.

Gerard sighed, still frowning. "If you say so," he replied, unconvinced. He removed his other hand from Frank's shoulder and wrapped his arm around Frank, pulling him closer as they began to walk again.

Frank stood as close to Gerard as he could, stealing his body heat.

Gerard occasionally would nuzzle Frank and give him a soft kiss on the cheek, trying to keep his boyfriend comforted as they walked along the trail.

Frank sighed contentedly, feeling totally relaxed and care-free for once. He looked up at the darkening sky and actually resisted the urge to check the time.

Gerard continued to walk, closing his eyes for moments at a time, letting his ears pick up the sounds of the crickets and cicadas in the forest, mixed with a few birds singing, and even an owl off in the distance.

Frank spotted a fallen tree and nudged Gerard. "Can we rest for a few?"

Gerard blinked. "Yeah, sure," he answered with a small smile.

Frank walked over to the tree trunk and climbed on top of it, his feet dangling off the edge.

Gerard sat closely next to Frank, pressing up against him to help keep him warm.

"It's starting to get too cold for these walks, huh?"

Gerard shrugged. "I'm fine... but I don't want to put you through this every day."

"I don't mind too much, it gives me an excuse to be closer to you," Frank said as he scooted onto Gerard's lap, wrapping his arms around his neck.

Gerard blushed in surprise, and hugged Frank closely, burying his face into Frank's neck.

Frank giggled and kissed Gerard's temple. "Thanks for today... I really needed to relax and get my mind off things."

Gerard rested his head on Frank's shoulder and smiled. "No problem... It gave me a reason to spend time with you, anyways."

"Yeah, it's not like we see each other every day or anything," Frank teased.

Gerard kissed Frank's cheek. "Oh, yes, thirty minutes to talk surrounded by hundreds of other kids, how romantic."

"Be grateful for what time you do have. I could be practicing guitar right now, but no, I'm here. In the woods. Freezing my ass off."

Gerard pulled away and made a pouty face. "You mean you'd rather play guitar than be with me?"

Frank shrugged. "Well, she does have a hot body, plus she makes the most amazing sounds when I move my fingers just right."

Gerard's face burned. "Frank!" he scolded, burying his face into his boyfriend's chest. "I don't even want to _know_ what you do with that guitar now."

"Aw, so now I can never serenade you with beautiful music?"

"Just don't get dirty with your instruments in front of me, for the love of God."

Frank acted offended. "Well, fine, I'll make love to my guitar on stage for thousands of people and you can sit at home all by yourself!"

"Jesus Christ, Frank!" Gerard half laughed, half scolded, burying his face deeper into Frank's chest.

"You think I'm kidding?" Frank laughed and glanced up at the sky. "Hey, it's getting really dark."

"I kind of hope you are," he answered before looking up as well. "You're right. Maybe we should head back?"

"Yeah, let's go," Frank said as he stood up, straightening his clothes a bit.

Gerard got up and hesitated a moment, before silently walking a bit closer to Frank from behind and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's waist, pulling him close in a tight hug and kissing his head.

Frank smiled and slightly leaned against Gerard. "Just can't keep your hands off me, huh?"

Gerard rested his chin on Frank's shoulder. "You're one to talk," he answered with a small giggle.

"Don't act like you mind it."

Gerard pressed closer to Frank. "I never said I minded it," he whispered into Frank's ear with a flirty tone.

Frank shivered, Gerard's warm breath feeling good against his skin.

Gerard kissed Frank's cheek again and rubbed up against Frank slightly, a small smirk played on his lips.

Frank blushed, surprised by Gerard's actions. "What's gotten into you? The cold weather freezing your brain cells?"

Gerard giggled a bit more and kissed Frank's cheek again before letting go of him and grabbing his hand. "No, the cold weather is just more _romantic_ , because it gives a reason to get closer," Gerard answered. He leaned up and quietly whispered in Frank's ear, " _A lot_ closer."

Frank shook his head and began walking, hopeful Gerard couldn't see how red he really was.

Gerard simply smiled and walked along with Frank, looking up at the sky, now dotting itself with stars.

Frank struggled to see exactly where they were going in the dim light. "Fuck, Gerard, you better have night vision 'cause I can’t see shit."

Gerard looked around; he could barely see, himself. "Here, hold on," he said, and pulled out his phone. He messed with it a few seconds before a bright light turned on at the top of it. He flashed it at the trail in front of them. "Built in flashlight," he explained while grabbing Frank's hand with his free hand.

"Holy MacGyver, Batman!" Frank laughed and watched the ground, careful not to trip on anything.

Gerard laughed and kissed Frank on the side of his head. "You're such a dork," he teased, nuzzling at Frank's hair.

"And you love it," Frank retorted, sticking his tongue out.

Gerard kissed the tip of Frank's nose. "You know I do."

Frank giggled looked up to the sky. "Ooh, Gerard! I know why you're acting so different! Full moon tonight."

Gerard laughed. "What, do you think I'm a vampire or werewolf or something?"

"All I know is that you're definitely not human."

"Is that necessarily a bad thing?"

"Considering most people are assholes? Then no, it's actually a good thing."

Gerard laughed again and kissed Frank's cheek. "Yes, you caught me, I'm a werewolf. Congratulations, you've been screwing your neighbor's dog."

Frank screwed up his face. "I love dogs and all but I wouldn’t fuck one. This can’t go on!"

"But I looawoooooove you!" Gerard fake-cried, trying his best to imitate a howl.

Frank laughed loudly, playfully pushing Gerard away. "This isn't Beauty and the Beast, I don't screw furry things!"

Gerard laughed, trying his best to keep himself from doubling over. "But Belle! If you break the curse, I can be your handsome prince!"

"But who could ever truly love a beast?" Frank said, doing his best impression of the movie's voice over.

Gerard laughed again and kissed Frank. Frank kissed back before pulling away and looking at Gerard, noting how pale he appeared in the moonlight.

Gerard rested his forehead softly against Frank's, looking into his boyfriend's eyes.

Frank stared back at Gerard for as long as he could until he finally had to look away from Gerard's intense gaze.

Gerard gazed at Frank a moment longer before pressing his lips tenderly up against Frank's.

Frank snaked an arm around Gerard's waist as he gently kissed back. Gerard gently wrapped his arms around Frank's neck, tipping his head sideways. Frank pressed closer and traced his tongue along Gerard's bottom lip, asking for permission to enter.

Gerard opened his mouth slightly, brushing his tongue against Frank's upper lip, and giving a quiet whine.

Frank slipped his tongue into Gerard's mouth, his breath hitching for a moment.

Gerard pressed closer, running his tongue up against Frank's as his breaths started to become heavy.

Frank moaned quietly as he deepened the kiss, his eyelids fluttering closed.

Gerard pressed himself closer to Frank and began to pant lightly as he felt his tongue press up against Frank's, his eyes easing shut.

Frank moved until he had Gerard pushed against a tree, his knee gently pressed between Gerard's thighs.

Gerard's pants became a bit heavier, letting out a soft whimper as he felt himself become cornered.

Frank rested his hands on Gerard's hips as he moved to his neck, gently sucking on the soft skin.

Gerard started to pant a bit more, licking his lips as he felt Frank's mouth against the sensitive skin of his neck. "F-Frank..." he moaned softly, letting his head tip back and rest against the tree.

Frank sucked harder, his grip on Gerard's hips tightening.

Gerard's pants became louder, his hips pushing forward slightly to press up against Frank's.

Frank moaned when Gerard's hips came in contact with his. He lightly nipped at Gerard's neck, trying to leave only a small red mark.

Gerard let out a soft whimper, trying his best not to immediately start grinding up against Frank.

Frank pulled away slightly, moving to nibble on Gerard's earlobe as he whispered, "It's getting kinda late isn’t it?"

Gerard shrugged a bit, still panting, letting out a soft whine when he felt Frank's teeth on his ear.

"I could take you home, unless you wanted to do something else?" Frank bit down slightly harder when he finished speaking.

Gerard shook his head slightly, trying not to accidentally pull away from Frank. "I'll do... whatever you want," he whispered through his light pants.

"But what do _you_ want?"

Gerard shrugged again, lost for words. ' _You,_ ' his thoughts answered, causing Gerard to turn a deep shade of red.

Frank moved his hand so he could palm Gerard through his pants. "Answer me."

Gerard bit down on his lip a bit, his tongue feeling as though it couldn't form the words.

Frank stopped all movement and looked Gerard in the eyes. "I can't hear you. If you don’t answer me, how will I know what you want to do?"

Gerard stared back at Frank, panting. He stood there, silent for a moment before pulling Frank up to him and giving him a rough, passionate kiss. "You," he whispered hoarsely as he pulled away. "I want _you_."

Frank smiled and stepped closer to Gerard again, pinning him against the tree. He undid Gerard's belt and shoved his hand down his pants, stroking him quickly.

Gerard began panting heavily, his forehead falling onto Frank's shoulder. "Oh God," he whimpered. "F-Frank... yes..."

Frank licked Gerard's neck and twisted his wrist as he continued to stroke. Gerard let his head fall back, moaning loudly, his chest rising and falling as he continued to pant.

"Fuck, Gerard, you make the most wonderful sounds," Frank said as he gently squeezed Gerard.

Gerard whimpered, his arms falling slightly so he could grip around Frank's hips as he continued to pant. He let his hips push forward, giving in to Frank's touch.

Frank stared at Gerard, wanting to see his expressions as he stroked him faster, running his thumb over the head of Gerard's cock.

Gerard bit down on his lip, his eyes pressed shut as he let out another moan, ending it in a whimper. "Oh fuck... Frank..."

"Ugh, when you say my name like that I just want to fuck you on the spot," Frank said as he continued to stroke Gerard quickly.

Gerard panted faster, his mouth open as he gasped for breath, feeling his whole body arch forward into Frank's.

Frank gave Gerard's dick a tight squeeze as he bit his neck, not caring about leaving marks anymore.

Gerard let out a small yelp and a whimper. "Frank... God damn it... your hand... God..."

Frank stroked Gerard even faster, his grip tightening occasionally. "Come for me, Gerard," Frank whispered in his ear.

Gerard bit his lip as he felt his hips buckle. His head fell forward onto Frank's shoulder as he continued panting roughly. "S-so close..."

Frank flicked his wrist a few times, trying to push Gerard over the edge.

Gerard's grip tightened on Frank's hips as he felt his own buck forward, letting out a loud, long moan as he came.

Frank continued to stroke Gerard slowly until he was finished. He let go of Gerard's cock and pulled his hand from his pants, smirking slightly.

Gerard continued to let his forehead rest on Frank's shoulder, trying to catch his breath as he felt a shudder pass through his body.

Frank looked around and spotted nothing to clean his hand off with. He hesitated a moment before shrugging and licking his hand clean.

Gerard watched Frank from the corner of his eye, blushing deeply. He took a few deep shuddery breaths, trying to steady his breathing.

Frank buttoned Gerard's pants for him as he waited for his breathing to slow.

"I don't think I'll ever figure out how you do that to me."

Frank laughed and looked down, embarrassed. "It's all that guitar playing, it's good for more than one thing I guess."

Gerard smiled shyly and pulled Frank closer, kissing his cheek softly. "And what good does singing do?"

"I haven't fully figured that out yet. But I do know that singers are usually blessed with a talented tongue."

Gerard laughed a bit. "What good would that do me? Or you, honestly."

"You could be excellent at rimming?"

Gerard's cheeks grew bright red. "Frank!"

"You asked!" Frank said, feeling himself begin to blush as well.

Gerard laughed and hugged Frank closer, his body relaxing as his breath finally calmed.

Frank leaned against Gerard, yawning.

Gerard ran his fingers gently through Frank's hair and kissed the top of his head. "You tired?"

Frank nodded and blinked a few times, trying to wake himself up.

"You wanna head back, then?"

"Yeah, my mom's probably freaking out by now anyway."

"Why don't you text her and let her know you're okay?"

"Nah, she can deal with it." Frank stood up straight and began trudging towards the car.

Gerard gently grabbed Frank's hand and followed, pressing up slightly against him.

By the time they made it back, Frank was having trouble standing up and couldn’t get the key into the door. "Motherfuck. Why is this so hard?"

Gerard gently put his hand on Frank's. "How's about I drive?"

Frank nodded and handed Gerard the keys before walking around to the other side, leaning against the car as he waited for the door to be unlocked.

Gerard unlocked the car and quietly got in, fastening his seat belt.

Frank fumbled for the door's handle and finally got in before buckling up and leaning back in his seat, exhausted.

Gerard looked over to Frank. "You okay, Frankie?" he asked softly, looking over at Frank before starting to drive.

"Yeah, just tired."

Gerard blinked, keeping his eyes on the road. "Do you want to stay at my house for the night, maybe? Or I could see if my parents will let me sleep at yours? I don't want you driving if you're this exhausted."

Frank closed his eyes and sighed. "Just take me to the closest bed there is."

Gerard smiled softly. "Alright. Once we're close enough to our houses, I'll text my parents to make sure it's okay that I stay at your house, since your mom is probably worried."

Frank made an agreeing noise and tilted his seat back more.

Gerard drove for a while, checking street signs, before pulling off to the side of the road and pulling out his phone and sending a quick text. He looked over to Frank quietly. ' _Is he still awake?_ '

Frank moved his arm under his head, trying to get more comfortable. Gerard blushed a bit, then shifted in his seat slightly, an idea forming in his head. He quietly unbuckled his seat belt and shifted a little more, checking his phone for a reply.

Frank's breathing slowed as his entire body finally relaxed.

Gerard quietly put his phone aside and gazed at Frank for a moment longer. He chewed on his lip slightly before stealthily climbing from his seat over to Frank's, sitting on his lap and kissing him before his boyfriend could react.

Frank's eyes flashed open in surprise.

Gerard kissed Frank deeply, running his hands down Frank's sides slowly, feeling his breath becoming light again.

Frank kissed back, relaxing a bit after the initial shock.

Gerard continued to kiss Frank a while longer, before moving down to kiss Frank's neck gently, letting his body slide a bit lower.

Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard as he closed his eyes, letting out a quiet whimper.

Gerard ran his tongue gently in the soft skin of Frank's neck, his hands sliding down to Frank's hips as he kissed and nibbled gently at his neck.

Frank felt a tremor run through his body, slowly waking him up more and more.

Gerard started kissing lower on Frank's neck, kissing his chest slightly, as his hands moved and started undoing Frank's pants.

Frank opened his eyes and chewed on his lip-ring as he watched Gerard's movements.

After finally getting his boyfriend's pants undone, Gerard pushed them down just enough to expose him. Before Frank could object or say otherwise, Gerard slid himself down to the floor of the car, on his knees, and took the head of Frank's cock into his mouth, sucking lightly.

Frank's head fell back as he let out a moan, gripping the sides of the seat. "Gerard! What are you-? Oh, fuck..."

Gerard took in more of Frank, wrapping his hand around what he couldn't fit and starting to stroke.

Frank's eyes screwed shut as he bit his bottom lip, concentrating on keeping his hips still.

Gerard started to suck more, letting his tongue snake around the tip, stroking faster, and rubbing Frank's thigh with his free hand.

Frank moaned loudly as he reached a hand down, starting to tug on Gerard's hair gently.

Gerard went deeper, humming slightly, flicking his tongue against the sides as he continued to suck.

" _Fuck_ , Gerard," Frank grunted, his hips twitching forward slightly.

Gerard let his grip release from the base of Frank's cock and rub against his other thigh as he sucked harder, going even deeper.

Frank's back arched, causing him to thrust into Gerard's mouth involuntarily. "Fuck, I'm sorry, just. Goddamn. So good, Gerard, so good..."

As Frank thrust, Gerard seized his chance and deep throated him, letting his teeth lightly run across the skin as he went down.

Frank groaned as he pulled Gerard's hair harder. "I-I'm close, Gerard, Jesus _Christ_."

Gerard deep throated Frank again, his tongue sliding against the skin as he sucked, his fingers moving lightly against Frank's thighs.

Frank yelled Gerard's name as he came, his hips thrusting forward a few times, unable to control his actions.

Gerard sucked a bit longer before slowly pulling off, swallowing and wiping his mouth against his sleeve, panting slightly.

Frank lay against the seat, finding he had no energy to move. His heart beat wildly in his chest as he struggled to steady his breathing.

Gerard gently pushed Frank's pants back up and redid them, sliding himself up enough to kiss Frank's cheek a few times.

Frank smiled lazily as he wiped some sweat from his forehead.

Gerard kissed Frank a few more times and climbed back to his own seat, starting up the car again and driving once more.

Frank sat up in his seat a little bit, feeling more awake than before.

Gerard continued to drive quietly, making his way to Frank's house. "Do you think your mom will mind me staying at your house?" he finally asked quietly.

"Hmm?" Frank asked in a daze. "Oh, uhm. No, she should be fine with it..."

Gerard nodded slightly. "If you say so. I just wanted to be sure is all."

"As long as we make it to school, she won't care."

"Well, just remember to set your alarm a bit _earlier_ this time," Gerard teased softly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Review!


	20. Silly Love Songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.  
> But I look around me and I see it isn't so.  
> Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.  
> And what's wrong with that?  
> I'd like to know, 'cause here I go again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Silly Love Songs" by Wings

               Frank shuffled down the hall, hands in his pockets, Gerard at his side. He was still feeling a bit sick and extremely tired, but he had hope that there would be no Mr. Sherwaul in class to make his day even more miserable. He suddenly sneezed and ended up tripping over his own feet, sending him tumbling to the ground. "Goddammit! I'm such an idiot," he said as he tried to stand up.

               Gerard quickly grabbed Frank's arm and helped him up. "A-are you okay?" he asked Frank softly, gently wrapping his other arm around Frank's shoulders.

"Yeah, just annoyed. I honestly hurt myself every day." Frank adjusted his bag and straightened his tie before starting to walk down the hall again, watching his feet carefully this time.

               Gerard pulled Frank closer as they continued down the hall. "Can you take any medication? I'm getting worried about you."

               "I took some cold medicine already. Don't worry, I always survive being sick, this won't be any exception." Frank shot Gerard a reassuring smile as they entered the chemistry lab.

               Gerard stared back at Frank, looking worried and unsure, but not saying anything. He walked into the classroom and blinked in surprise. The once-empty and plain walls now had a few posters here and there, and the usually disorganized desk was now neat and clean, a shiny new name tag on the edge. 'Well what did I expect?' Gerard thought to himself. They never announced anything, but the past few classes, they'd had a substitute for chemistry and everyone had a feeling that Mr. Sherwaul wouldn't be back.

               Frank sat in his seat and pulled out the stuff he needed for class before laying his head on the desk, waiting for the teacher to come in. A few more students filed into the classroom, chatting loudly as they all took their seats, eager to see who would be leading the class today. Frank glanced at the clock and saw they still had a few minutes before class started so he closed his eyes, praying the pressure in his head would fade quickly.

               Gerard gently rubbed Frank's back and gave him a soft kiss on his head. "Do you need to see the nurse?" he whispered softly, still worried.

               "No, Gee, I said I'm fine." Frank looked up when he heard the click-clack of heels on the tile floor. A woman, no older than 40, with dark brown hair walked into the lab, smiling brightly.

               She was wearing dress pants and an ocean blue blouse. She stood behind the desk and set her binders on top before she stepped out and in front of the class. "Hello, I am Mrs. Kelly and I'm going to be your new chemistry teacher. I know it's pretty well into the school year and you may not be so willing to adjust to this change, but I think you'll get used to the way I do things. I'm told I'm less...provoking than your last teacher." Her voice was smooth and held a slight accent, but Frank had no idea where it came from. He sat up in his seat and tried his best to look like he wasn't dying.

               Gerard looked up in surprise, and tried his best not to grin like an idiot. 'Maybe I'll actually _enjoy_ this class now,' he thought hopefully. 'I've got my boyfriend and a teacher that doesn't hate my guts... or at least, I hope she won't.' He looked over at Frank and continued to softly rub his back, trying to comfort him.

               "I'd like to get to know you all a little bit, so today will be really easy. When I point to you, tell me your name and what you want most in life and then we'll go to the next person. Starting with...you." Mrs. Kelly pointed to Frank, who sat on the edge of the classroom.

               He shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat, trying not to sound as sick as he was. "Uhm... I'm Frank and I want... to spend my life playing music, in a band... surrounded by people I love."

               Mrs. Kelly smiled and said, "That's a great thing to want, Frank. I hope it happens for you." The older woman then nodded towards Gerard, waiting for him so take his turn.

               Gerard blinked, feeling a little self-conscious. He tried to keep his voice steady and clear as he spoke. "I-I'm Gerard, and, well... I'd like to be an artist, or a singer. Mostly a singer. And help others through their hard times." He shifted in his seat, trying not to focus on his peers more than the teacher.

               Some of the other kids snickered and mumbled rude comments to their friends, earning them a look of warning from the teacher. "That's very nice, Gerard, I'd love to hear you sing some time! Maybe you and Frank could start a band?" Mrs. Kelly smiled and went onto the next students, listening to each of their names and wants before returning to her desk and grabbing a stack of papers. She handed each table two papers as she spoke. "These are to be signed by your parents; it's just regular safety and class expectations. I know you signed some at the beginning of the year, but each teacher needs their own, and I plan on actually doing experiments. Please have them in by the end of the week." She went back to her desk and sat down, seeing there was still ten minutes left in class. "Well, that's it for me; you can all sit and chat until the bell rings."

               Gerard smiled, starting to like Mrs. Kelly. "Well, she's definitely a million miles better than Sherwaul," he whispered to Frank, rubbing his back again. _'And she has great ideas, too,'_ he added to himself, thinking back to her suggestion of him and Frank starting a band.

               "Yeah, I might actually like this class more," Frank laughed quietly.

               Gerard quickly pecked Frank on the cheek and smiled, inching a bit closer. "Her ideas are also pretty good, too," he added nonchalantly.

               Frank blushed and looked down, still uneasy with being too close in front of classmates. "What do you mean? The experiments?"

               "Well, yeah, there's that..." Gerard lowered his voice a bit. "But I meant the band thing... I dunno... it doesn't seem like such a bad idea is all."

               Frank blinked a few times and thought for a moment. "Maybe it isn't... I don't know."

               Gerard looked down and shrugged slightly. "I mean... I dunno... I've always kind of thought about being in a band, but I never thought I'd have a chance or anything."

               "I was in a few bands before I moved here... still haven't officially broken up with my old one but, I mean... it's not all it's cracked up to be. It's sleepless nights and hard work for almost no reward... unless you're really popular."

               "I know... the only problem is the popularity. I can manage the other stuff."

               Frank looked at Gerard, a realization hitting him. "Ya know? I don't think I've ever _really_ heard you sing."

               Gerard blushed, his eyes going wide. He ducked a little, avoiding Frank's eyes shyly. "I, uhm... I'm... kind of... a bit... somewhat... slightly, uhm... shy about it."

               "You're shy? And you expect to be in a band? I don't even give a shit if you join a band, you gotta sing for me one day."

               Gerard squirmed nervously. _'But what if I'm not good enough? What if you think I suck?'_

               "Please, Gerard?" Frank scooted closer and rested his head on Gerard's shoulder, looking up at him and giving puppy dog eyes.

               Gerard dared to look at Frank, and blushed. _'God damn it, why do you have to give me that look?'_ He gave a small sigh. "N-not now," he answered quietly.

               Frank laughed and sat back up. "Well, of course not right now, we're in the middle of class!"

               Gerard shifted a little more and looked down again. "I-I wasn't sure if you meant now or..."

"Yes, Gerard, the first time I hear you sing I want it to be in a room full of assholes." Frank rolled his eyes and started packing up his stuff, seeing it was almost time to go.

               Sighing, Gerard packed up his things and waited for the bell to ring, his thoughts whirling. _'Come on, he's right... if you can't even sing in front of your own boyfriend, how the hell will you be able to sing in front of a giant crowd?'_

               Once the bell rang, Frank stood up and walked out of the classroom, waiting for Gerard around the corner. Gerard walked out of the classroom quietly, shifting his bag on his shoulder. He leaned up against Frank, his thoughts still jumbled.

               "So...I'll see you at lunch, right?"

               Gerard looked up at Frank and nodded. "Y-yeah, of course."

               Frank smiled and headed down the hall. "See you later!" he called over his shoulder.

               Gerard gave a half-smile and waved, his thoughts keeping him nervous for the rest of his afternoon classes.

 

* * *

               Frank stood outside by the doors to the school, impatiently waiting for Gerard to make it out. He held a cigarette in his hand, smoking it quickly, trying to calm his nerves. Gerard quietly walked out, and then jumped in surprise as he nearly bumped into Frank. "Wh-why aren't you at a table?" he asked, his voice a bit squeaky from the initial shock.

               "Because I was waiting for you." Frank threw his cigarette down and crushed it into the ground. "I have something I wanna show you."

               "Is it gonna be like last time you wanted to show me something at lunch?" Gerard asked, only half joking.

               "No... n-not really. Just come on." Frank opened the door and walked back inside, not waiting for Gerard before he started walking through the school.

               Gerard blinked, feeling a twinge of guilt when he was disappointed. He quickly followed after Frank, wanting to ask what it was he wanted to show him, but keeping quiet.  Frank walked quickly until he reached the band room. He stopped and opened the door, motioning for Gerard to step inside. Gerard hesitated for a moment, and then walked quietly inside, looking around the large room. Frank flicked on the lights and walked into the main part of the room, standing in front of the rows and rows of chairs. "Sit down."

               Gerard stood still for a moment. "Wh-" he cut himself off, deciding not to question Frank, but instead listening and taking a seat in the front row, shifting a bit, trying to get comfortable, though he was extremely nervous. _'What's he doing?'_

               Frank played with the hem of his shirt nervously for a few seconds before disappearing into the storage closet and returning with his acoustic guitar in his hands. He sat down and got into position. "I uhm... wrote something... if you wouldn't mind listening?"

               Gerard blushed a bit, surprised. "Wh-- of course I wouldn't mind," he replied, giving a soft smile.

               "I'll only play if you make me a deal. You have to let me hear you sing before this time next week. So... deal?"

               Gerard twitched slightly, feeling the twinge of nervousness return, but nodding quietly in agreement.

               "Good... okay uhm... just... bear with me okay? I've never written a song about someone before and this is making me nervous as hell." Frank tuned his guitar quickly, fixing a few chords before he began to play, breaking into a quick melody, struggling to keep his mind focused on when to begin singing. As the song picked up, he looked at Gerard as the words began to flow from his mouth, coming out more even than he expected. "You say it's not worth it, been burned too many times. If your spine's receding, you can borrow some of mine. Don't go and quit right now, cause I'd follow you through hell. And you can lie to everyone you meet, you're still not fooling yourself..." Frank looked down as he continued to play, his head bobbing up and down slightly to the beat. "You say so many things, and not a word of it was true. If you're still in that state of mind, I'd still vacation inside of you. Cause I think you're worth every minute, and every dime that I spend. I'll spend all my time fighting dragons, just to keep you alive and talking. Your imagination's running wild, round your deceptive heart. This is my crusade and you're the unreachable star. But I'm reaching... Tinker bell, dry your tears. Outside it's only raining, but I'm still here." Frank strummed the last few chords and relaxed, feeling his mouth go dry with embarrassment.

               Gerard put a hand over his mouth and ducked a bit, trying his best not to let Frank see he was starting to cry, lost for words. "That... that was beautiful, Frank," he whispered, trying to keep his voice from shaking as he felt a few tears fall. _'Why are you so perfect? How could I have ever been so lucky to find someone like you?'_

               Frank set his guitar on his chair as he stood up and made his way to where Gerard was sitting. "You really liked it? I know my voice isn't that great and everything but I just... decided I should show you what I'd written."

               Gerard tried to wipe his eyes as he looked up and Frank, giving a shy smile and nodding before hugging him tightly. "Yes.. it was amazing... like you," he answered softly, resting his chin on Frank's shoulder.

               Frank smiled in relief, feeling all of his nervous feelings melt away. "I'm glad you liked it... you have no idea how nervous I was."

Gerard hugged Frank even tighter. "It couldn't have been any more perfect," he reassured softly, trying to keep back more tears.

               Frank squeezed Gerard and said, "Now you have to show me what you can do. Not right now... soon though."

               Gerard swallowed hard, trying to bite back his nervousness. _'You have to,'_ he told himself. _'You promised.'_

               Frank pulled away and looked at Gerard, gauging his expression. "You don't have to be worried about it...not like it's life or death or anything."

               Gerard looked down shyly. "I-I know... I just..." He shifted a little. "I mean, why were _you_ nervous?"

               "Because...I can say 'I love you' all the time and have it not mean anything...But when I play music for you... it means so much more because it took time to get those words down and it took guts to explain all of those feelings. It won't be the same for you, you could sing Happy Birthday and I'd be thrilled."

               "But it has to mean something," Gerard replied. "Or it's not singing. It's doing what others have done. Singing is an art, like any other... and art has deep meaning. That's what it is. Without meaning... it's not the same. And I'm just afraid--" he swallowed hard. "--that I won't live up to those expectations."

               Frank laughed and rolled his eyes. "I don't have expectations. Whatever you sing will be perfect because it's _you_ and I don't want you to over think or do something that isn't what you like."

               "And you think I'd feel different with you?" Gerard asked, looking back up at Frank. "You knew I would love it. I love everything you do, because it's special... it's who you are. But you were still nervous." He looked down again and shifted a little more. "I'm not going to break the promise... but... I won't lie, either. I'm nervous. That's all."

               "Well maybe you should be nervous. If you suck, I'm dumping you. So get your shit together!"

               Gerard looked up at Frank, shooting him an unamused look. "Ha ha ha," he replied in a monotone voice. He sighed and smiled warmly at Frank, hugging him tightly again. "I'll do my best."

               Frank hugged back before standing and walking to put his guitar away. "What's funny is that you think I'm joking," Frank shouted from the storage closet.

               "You better be," Gerard called back. "Unless you want to deal with my dad! He's still keeping his promise from when you two first met, y'know!" He laughed a little, feeling less nervous.

               Frank came back out and locked the door to the closet. "What if we get sick of each other or you turn into a mega asshole? I can't get rid of you then?"

               "Nope, you're stuck with me forever," Gerard answered with a small laugh. "No, I'm just joking... I mean, I can't make you stay." His smile faded as he said the words. _'Which is what scares me,'_ he thought quietly to himself. _'Because I love you.'_

               Frank walked up to Gerard and sat on his lap, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's neck. "Don't worry. I like this, I think I might keep at it for a while." He leaned in and pecked Gerard's lips quickly.

               Gerard smiled a bit and rested his chin on top of Frank's head, pulling Frank closer. "Promise?"

               "For now," Frank said with a smirk. Gerard held Frank closely, trying his best to keep himself in good humor, but still feeling a bit worried. Frank looked up at Gerard, sensing his worries. "Smile, please?"

               Gerard couldn't hold back a large, warm smile when he looked down into Frank's eyes. He gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "If that's what you want," he whispered back.

               "Good boy," Frank said, cuddling closer to Gerard.

               "'Good boy?' I'm not your dog, Frank," Gerard laughed.

               "Sometimes I wish you were. Then I could tell you what to do and there'd be no chance of you refusing."

               Gerard blushed slightly. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

               "It means," Frank began. "That I could have you any way I wanted and there'd be nothing you could do about it."

               "Any way you wanted? Like how?"

               "I'm not going to talk about it in school, Gee."

               Gerard raised an eyebrow. "No one's around... how bad could it be, hm?"

               "Bad enough," Frank mumbled, blushing brightly as he looked down.

               Gerard leaned close to Frank's ear. "There's no secrets here," he whispered, feeling a bit mischievous.

               "When there's large windows and only a little bit of lunch left there are."

               "We can go to a place with no windows, and who's gonna notice us gone for a while?"

               "There's nowhere to go in a school."

               "Then we leave?"

               Frank shook his head. "I can't. I can't skip any more half-days."

               "You never seemed hesitant before," Gerard pointed out, shrugging. "I guess you can tell me later, though. Because I won't drop it." He gave a small smirk.

               "My mom saw my absences... but fine, later."

               Gerard blinked. "Your mom pays attention that? Weird... my parents don't care about attendance really, so long as I get good grades... which is weird because they're so punctual about time and shit." He looked at the clock and hugged Frank a little closer. "I guess we better be going."

               "I told you she's protective and watchful." Frank sighed and glanced at the door. "Yeah... I have band so I have to stay in here."

               Gerard held Frank closer and rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder with a sigh. "I really don't want to leave."

               "Why? Not like you gotta go sit in Sherwaul's class or anything."

               "But I don't wanna leave you."

               Frank laughed and stood up. "Gerard, we're _always_ together."

               Gerard shrugged, getting up as well. "Not always. Plus, you see how people treat me... I just like being with you because then I don't really feel like shit."

               "Not all of them are like that... people like you..... I mean you _do_ kind of blend in the background sometimes."

               Gerard raised an eyebrow. "Did you really just say people like me. People Like me? That shouldn't even be in the same sentence."

               Frank rolled his eyes, picking up his bag. "They do like you, you just don't talk to anyone to find out."

               Gerard gave Frank a doubtful look, but said nothing as he grabbed his bag, sighing. "I'm gonna head to class a few minutes early so I don't get pushed in the halls."

               "Gerard, stop playing the 'poor me' game."

               "No, I mean I seriously get shoved around. Everyone seems so intent on getting to class, it's like walking through a stampede or some shit. Plus, I'm not the strongest guy out there... it doesn't take much to push me down. You'd know."

               "Maybe you just need to learn to push back," Frank said as he stepped into the hall, walking right past Gerard.

               Gerard sighed. "I _can't_. I have the graceful strength of a thousand goddamn feathers." He stepped out into the hall and blinked. "I thought you were in band? Why are you going out into the hall?"

               "I'm going to the bathroom, asshole. Do you need to know what I intend to do in there too?"

               Gerard flinched. "I wasn't trying to be rude, I just..." He sighed and turned, feeling a bit put-off. "I'll see you after school, I guess," he mumbled as he started down the hall, feeling a twinge of hurt. Frank shook his head and hurried to the bathroom.


	21. Shoved To Agree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I spent my high school career  
> Spit on and shoved to agree  
> So I could watch all my heroes  
> Sell a car on tv  
> Bring out the old guillotine  
> We'll show 'em what we all mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Disenchanted" by My Chemical Romance

              Gerard leaned quietly against the oak tree, once again drowned in his own thoughts and emotions as he stared at the ground. Frank walked out of the school, pulling on his hoodie as he looked around for Gerard. When he spotted his boyfriend, he walked up and stood beside him. "Hey."

               Gerard looked up hesitantly at Frank, still feeling scathed from earlier. "Hey," he replied quietly.

               "Do you wanna come to my house for a while?"

               Gerard blinked, a bit surprised. "If you want me to," he responded. "I wouldn't mind."

               "Okay, let's go then." Frank hurried to his car and unlocked it before getting in and starting the engine.

               Gerard followed behind, trying to keep up with Frank without having to run - which was near impossible - and climbed into the passenger's seat. "You seem eager to get to your house," he observed.

               "Yeah, well... I am." Frank pulled out of the parking lot and went as fast as he could without speeding.

               _'Why?'_ Gerard asked himself, but not wanting to question Frank and upset him again. He stared out the window at the houses passing by instead, trying to keep his mind from listing endless possibilities on why Frank was so intent on getting home.

               When Frank pulled into his driveway, he hopped out of the car and went up to his door, unlocking it before stepping in and dropping his bag on the floor. "Come on, Gerard!" he shouted from inside the house.

               Gerard raised an eyebrow in confusion and grabbed his stuff, hurrying into the house. "Do you have police on your tail all of a sudden or something?"

               "No, dumbass," Frank said, rolling his eyes as he pulled Gerard's stuff from his hands and set it on the ground. "Follow me." He shut the front door and went further into the house, opening a door in the kitchen that led to the basement.

               Gerard stared at Frank like he was going nuts. _'What has gotten into him?'_ He followed him to the basement door and blinked. _'Is he going to lock me up or some shit? Seriously, what's going on?'_

Frank turned on the light at the top of the stairs and headed down, flicking on switches as he went further into the cold room. Gerard followed quietly, his thoughts running a million miles a minute as he tried to figure out Frank. He shivered slightly as they went further down, the cold air biting at him.

               When they made it into the main part of the basement, Frank took his shoes and jacket off, leaving him in only his white school shirt for warmth. He threw his clothes on one of the couches and stared at Gerard, his hands on his hips. "Take your shoes and jacket off too."

               "But it's fucking freezing down here," Gerard mumbled with a sigh. He obeyed, though, slipping off his socks and shoes and throwing off his jacket. "So what exactly are you doing?"

               Frank didn't say anything, but instead stepped closer to Gerard and shoved him, not showing any emotion on his face as he did. Gerard stumbled backwards, almost falling flat on his ass. "H-hey! What the hell? What did I do?"

               "Push back," Frank said as he shoved Gerard again.

               "What? No! Why?"

               "Because I told you to. Now, push back!" Frank put his hand in the middle of Gerard's chest and pushed him again.

               Gerard stumbled more, barely keeping his balance. "I'm not going to shove my own boyfriend!"

               "Why not? You're not going to hurt me."

               "Because! Why should I shove back?!"

               "Because you fucking need to stand up for yourself! You're like a little child that just lets the older kids kick him around. Push back, dammit!" Frank shoved Gerard to the ground with all his strength this time.

               Gerard landed roughly, barely keeping the back of his head from slamming into the ground. "Frank, this won't solve anything!"

               "Not if you never learn to push back when someone's hurting you."

               "I already did that once, and you had to save me from getting murdered by the guy!" Gerard retorted, trying to bite back a few tears. _'God why am I such a damn wimp?'_

               Frank crouched down to Gerard's level and looked him in the eyes. "That wasn't trying. If you had really wanted, you would have succeeded because I know that you have the strength to do so."

               Gerard looked down, breaking eye contact and shaking his head. "Frank, you don't get it. I'm _not_ physically strong enough. I'm just not. It's not a confidence thing or anything, it's a fact."

               "If I could take on those guys, you could."

               "No, Frank, I couldn't. You're _strong_. I'm not. Height doesn't mean _anything_ , okay? You could be three fucking feet tall, but with your muscles, you're a goddamn threat. I could be seven feet tall, and all people would have to worry about is me falling on them or some shit. Okay? I _can't_ , Frank."

               "You don't even /try/. That's your goddamn problem. If you're not going to try to be strong, why should I? I should just quit all of this because it's hard, right?"

               "It doesn't seem hard for you! I mean, Jesus Christ, you've floored me, and you haven't even broken a sweat! How is that hard?"

               "It's hard for me to know that I could hurt you just because you won't even try to resist being pushed to the fucking ground!"

               "Because I hate fighting with you verbally! What makes you think it'll be any different physically?"

               "There's more of a chance that I could hurt you permanently in a physical way... sometimes I don't know when to stop. And if you can't push back or at least resist me when I go to hurt you, it scares me because I could do serious damage and you'd let me." Frank sighed and stood back up.

               "I think you have more self-control than that," Gerard answered in a mumble. _'And how the hell could I ever fight you? If I push back you'd just push harder and then I'd be really fucked.'_

               "I don't and that's the point. Also, what if something happens to me? I can't always be there to save your ass."

               "I don't _know_ Frank, okay?" Gerard answered, his voice hinting a whimper.

               "Then _push back_."

               "Frank, _please_."

               Frank shook his head and looked down at Gerard. "Push back or go home."

               "If those are my two choices then I'll just stay on the fucking floor."

               "Not an option."

               Gerard looked back at Frank with a glare. "I'm not getting up."

               "You know what? The point is I won't have to watch your damn back all the time if someone comes at you!"

               "You don't _have_ to watch my back! But if I fight back, that doesn't mean I'll _win_!"

               "Why are you so stubborn?!" Frank raised his voice, unable to contain his emotions.

               "You're the one insisting on me fighting a pointless shoving match!"

               Frank lost it and flung himself onto Gerard, hitting at his arms and mumbling random phrases about Gerard being stubborn and not listening and always making things hard.

               "Frank!" Gerard tried to squirm away with no success, and ended up struggling with him, grabbing at his arms and trying to push him over.

               Frank sat on Gerard's legs, pinning him down as he continued to grab his arms and hit them against the ground while making angry, incoherent noises. Gerard grabbed a hold of one of Frank's wrists and twisted himself to the side, shoving his shoulder roughly into Frank's chest. "Stop it, Frank!"

               Frank stopped moving and stared at Gerard, his eyes dark with anger. Gerard stared back at Frank, gaze pleading, begging for him to stop. "Frank?" he whimpered.

               Frank pushed Gerard back down so he was lying flat before he pinned his arms to the side, continuing to stare for a minute. "You're just so damn stubborn," he said as he leaned down and kissed Gerard forcefully.

               Gerard's eyes grew wide with surprise, feeling his cheeks burning. _'What the hell?'_ He tried to pull himself away from Frank, wanting an explanation of what the fuck just happened.

               Frank moved his body up so his hips were aligned with Gerard's as he pushed down, trying to get him to stop moving. Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and tried harder to break away, feeling the pressure of Frank's body increasing. "Stop fucking moving," Frank growled as he moved his mouth to Gerard's neck, biting gently.

               Gerard refused to listen and struggled more. "What the hell, F-Frank?" he gasped, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.

               Frank stopped and sat up slightly, looking down at Gerard. "What is your problem?"

               " _My_ problem? You're the one who was yelling at me and telling me to fight you barely minutes ago, and now you're on top of me, telling me to keep still!" Gerard broke an arm free from Frank's grasp and shoved at his chest with a mixture of anger and confusion.

               Frank crawled off of Gerard and sat on the ground, staring at him with wide eyes, feeling on his chest where Gerard had pushed him.

               Without thinking, Gerard launched himself at Frank, shoving his whole body against his boyfriend with all his strength. Frank gasped, having all of the air knocked out of him as he fell backwards onto the floor. "Jesus, Gerard!"

               "I don't know why the _fuck_ you insist on me fighting!" Gerard snapped as he shoved at Frank, pinning the other teen down with his body.

               Frank didn't say anything, he just stared up at Gerard, mouth slightly open in shock. Gerard stared down at Frank, his eyes clouded with anger, confusion, and hurt, panting slightly from everything that happened. Frank blinked a few times before letting his body relax, knowing that if he remained tense, he could get hurt. "Gerard..."

               Gerard continued to stare into Frank's gaze for a few moments, shaking his head and letting it drop to where Frank couldn't see. "There? Are you fucking happy now?" he choked hoarsely, his throat feeling tight.

               "Well... you pushed back, didn't you?"

               "And how the fuck did either of us benefit from it?" he snapped, failing to keep a few tears from falling.

               Frank sighed, feeling a slight burn in his chest when he breathed deep. "At least I know you can stand for yourself if you need to... one less thing I have to worry about with you."

               Gerard shook his head and crawled off of Frank, trying to stand up, but stumbling. He ended up a few feet away, on his knees, back turned from Frank. "Did you want to make me feel like shit, too? Because that's another thing you can cross off your fucking list."

               Frank sat up and looked over at Gerard. "I-I'm sorry." Gerard sat quietly, hands on his elbows, his back to Frank. Frank crawled closer to Gerard and rested his hand on his lower back. "Gerard? I didn't mean to make you feel bad." Gerard pulled himself away, hunched slightly and sniffling a bit, still silent. Frank stood up and walked to the couch, sitting down with his face in his hands, not knowing what to do.

               Gerard stared at the ground, trying to avoid looking at Frank, and sniffled a little more. "And what exactly was the fucking point of all that shit? Because if I didn't hurt you, then I can't fucking defend myself, and if I did, then wow, great, I just fucking hurt my boyfriend, what an accomplishment, hand me my douchebag of the year award."

               "You didn't hurt me..."

               "Then way to let me prove I'm a fucking weakling!" Gerard yelled, screwing his eyes shit and curling up more.

               Frank pressed his palms into his eyes. "What the _fuck_ do you want me to say?! You hurt me? It hurts every time I breathe now?! You're not making sense!"

               "I want to know what the fucking point was, damn it! Because I _still_ don't see what either of us could've _possibly_ gained from trying to beat the living shit out of each other!" Gerard snapped, his voice faltering as he started to quietly cry.

               "I wasn't trying to hurt you... I just wanted you to fight back. I hate seeing you get shoved around and treated like shit... and I know it happens way more than I can see."

               "I don't fucking _care_ if I get pushed around all the damn time! I don't give a shit if people don't like me! I lived through it before you came around, before you started defending me! I don't _want_ to fight back because I don't _care_. They can think whatever the fuck they want; if they wanna be shitty to me, fine! I don't give a damn! What's it matter to me that they dislike me? The only reason I point it out to you is because you don't seem to get that! I don't want fucking pity, I don't want to get into any goddamn fights."

               "Well, what's gonna happen when someone comes at you with a raised fist? You're going to be so fucked!"

               "I can duck! I can fucking run! I can get the goddamn authorities! Just because someone's aggressive doesn't mean you have to get aggressive back!"

               "What if they corner you? You can't run and they hold you down, taking turns? You just gonna lay there and take it?!"

               Gerard sat silently. "I guess so," he finally answered in a mumble.  "And what if someone points a gun to your face? What the fuck could _you_ do? There's just some situations that can't be solved, okay?"

               "You can Goddamned try, Gerard." Frank stood up and began walking upstairs, having nothing left to say, feeling tired and pissed off.

               "You say as you leave, giving up," Gerard retorted just loud enough for Frank to hear. He wanted to move but the strength suddenly drained from his body, leaving him feeling weak and immobile.

               "Fuck off, alright?" Frank walked all the way up the stairs and laid down on the couch with a deep sigh.

               Gerard stayed in the position, quiet for a while, until he finally tried to move. As he attempted to stand, his knees gave in, causing him to stumble down, his ankle twisting. "Motherfucker!" he spat in a mix of anger and pain towards absolutely nothing as he clenched his throbbing ankle.

               Frank heard a thump in the basement and went to the top of the stairs. "Are you okay?"

               "Just _peachy_ ," Gerard answered sarcastically, wincing as he tried to move his ankle.

               "Well, do you fucking need help or not?"

               "I don't know, you tell me!" Gerard snapped, hating himself more with every word. _'Of course I fucking need help, but I'll feel like an ass asking for your help after what just happened.'_

               Frank thudded down the stairs and stood in front of Gerard. "I don't need your sarcastic shit, just tell me if you need help getting up or not, okay?"

               Gerard refused to look up at Frank, feeling a mix of confusion and guilt. His lips pursed silently as he stared at the ground beside him, hands still on his ankle.

               Frank rolled his eyes and went to help Gerard up, reaching under his arms to lift him. Letting out a small tired sigh, Gerard gave in to Frank's help, clenching his teeth as his ankle shifted.

               Frank got Gerard to his feet and helped him to the couch, sitting him down on it. "I don't think you should try the stairs just yet... you might fall."

               "Because I'm a fucking klutz," Gerard grumbled, looking down at the ground. He shivered slightly, realizing how cold it was.

               "Yeah well, join the club," Frank said as he tossed Gerard his jacket. Gerard pulled on the jacket, but it didn't do much help as he began to start shivering.

               Frank looked at Gerard and got up, disappearing behind some shelves before returning with a blanket in his hands. "Here, take this," he said as he handed Gerard the old comforter.

               Gerard wrapped himself in the blanket, still feeling a bit chilly. "Thanks," he mumbled, feeling like shit again.

               Frank shivered slightly and looked over at Gerard. "How's your ankle?"

               "It hurts like hell, but it'll be fine," he mumbled. "It's not broken or sprained or anything."

               "That's good, wouldn't wanna take you home all fucked up."

               Gerard sighed. "It wouldn't matter, I'd just go to my room anyways." He shivered a little more. _'Fuck, why is it so goddamn cold?'_

               Frank scooted closer to Gerard, looking down. "Are you still cold?"

               "A little," Gerard answered, looking at his feet.

               "I can try to warm you up... I mean, body heat and all. I get it if you don't want to right now..." Gerard took the offer without even responding, pressing up against Frank, still avoiding eye contact, mostly out of guilt. Frank got under the blanket and wrapped his arms around Gerard, sighing from relief as he got instantly warmer.

               Gerard tried to keep from blushing, but he felt his cheeks grow warm as his body pressed close to Frank, leaning into his arms. Frank rested his head on Gerard's shoulder. "You're really warm."

               Gerard blushed a little more. "I am? I thought I was freezing to death... at least it felt like it."

               "Mm-no, you're warm," Frank mumbled as he buried his face into Gerard's shoulder.

               Gerard slowly closed his eyes and leaned his head onto Frank's, shifting slightly to get closer. Frank pulled Gerard so he was sitting on his lap, soaking up all of his body heat. Gerard leaned into Frank, eyes still closed. He gave a quiet sigh, a small involuntary whimper escaping along with it.

               "Are you okay? Am I hurting you ankle?"

               Gerard gave a small flinch when he heard Frank's voice; he'd stared dazing off into quiet thoughts, and hadn't even realized the noise he'd made. "N-no, no, I'm fine," he reassured, feeling his cheeks burn a little more.

               Frank nodded and held Gerard tighter. "Just let me know if I do."

               Gerard pressed himself as close as he could manage to Frank, his focus wandering off into nothing in particular. Without thinking, he leaned his head back, letting out another small sigh. Frank shifted a bit and hesitated a moment before gently pressing his lips to Gerard's cheek. Gerard opened his eyes again, feeling himself tense up slightly, but relaxed. With all the sudden warmth, even his bruised emotions seemed to have melted off. He eased his eyes shut once more, breathing slowly and softly.

               "I'm sorry about everything," Frank whispered.

               "Don't be," Gerard replied softly, turning his head to get in a more comfortable position, his eyes still closed.

               "I feel bad for making you do something you didn't want to... I never want to do that to people."

               Gerard shook his head and kissed Frank's cheek softly. "Don't worry about it."

               Frank sighed and looked down. "I just wish I could make it up to you."

               Gerard nuzzled Frank softly. "Maybe explain what you meant earlier in band then," he whispered, feeling a small twinge of playfulness. _'I told him I wouldn't forget.'_

               "What I meant? About what?" Frank knew he was forgetting something and it made him feel like a complete idiot.

               "What you'd said earlier," Gerard repeated, shifting his position and lifting his head, turning so he was turned a little more towards Frank. "Something about how you could... have me any way you wanted, and there'd be nothing I could do about it?"

               Frank blushed and shifted uncomfortably. "I... well... come on, you don't wanna hear about that. You have an imagination."

               Gerard raised an eyebrow and looked at Frank. "Come _on_ , you can't just say that and not expect me to wonder what you mean by it."

               "Wonder all you want, I don't want to explain it... I'm bad with words."

               "Then show me or something. Jesus Christ, Frank."

               "I can't show you. You're hurt," Frank pointed out.

               Gerard gave Frank and unamused look. "Frank, come _on_. I'm not hurt, it was sore was all; it probably feels better now. I'm not dropping the subject."

               "Not like you can force me to do anything, you'll drop it eventually," Frank teased.

               "Wow, it's like you've completely forgotten just how stubborn I am," Gerard answered with a smirk. _'And I am,'_ he admitted. "Come on, it can't really be _that_ bad."

               Frank sighed and pouted. "But Gerard, I'm tired and hungry and I have period cramps."

               Gerard laughed and pushed Frank's shoulder softly. "Then take some medicine, eat, and nap, but when you wake up, I'll just keep asking!"

               Frank bit Gerard's earlobe. "Stop being annoying."

               Gerard giggled slightly. "And stop trying to be so mysterious or whatever."

               "I'm not trying to be mysterious, asshole!"

               Gerard rolled his eyes. " _Secretive_ , then, sheesh."

               "You're being a huge pain in my ass right now, ya know that?"

               Gerard huffed. "Oh? And you're not? Saying things then not explaining or giving me _any_ idea of what you mean?"

               "Because you don't need to know!"

               "Then why would you say anything?" Gerard gave an annoyed sighed and pouted a bit. "Come _on_ , Frank."

               "Come on what? I have no idea what you're talking about." Frank tried his best not to let out a laugh.

               "Ughhh, Frank, what the _hell_ did you mean, damn it? Did you mean you wanted to tie me up and take advantage of me or something?" Gerard felt himself blush slightly as he said that.

               "I don't even know what I would tie you up _with_. So, no, not exactly."

               "Then what did you mean?" Gerard head-butted Frank's shoulder gently. "Come on, tell me. Pleeease?"

               Frank rubbed his chin in thought. "Hmm, now why should I do that? What would I get out of it?"

               "Because then I'll stop bothering you about it," Gerard answered, rolling his eyes. "Or I'll do whatever it is if it makes you happy and more importantly _gets you to tell me_."

               "You're so damn nosy!" Frank laughed and hugged Gerard tightly.

               "You're the one who brought it up in the first place!" Gerard hugged Frank back. "Come on, please tell me? Please?"

               Frank quickly pecked Gerard's lips before looking at the ceiling. "I might tell you... I just can't decide!"

               "Please? Jesus Christ, what do I have to do to get you to tell me?"

               "Beg me. But not beg for me to tell you, that's not what I want."

               Gerard blinked. " _Beg_?If not for you to tell me - which is pretty much what I've been doing _already_ \- then what for?"

               Frank leaned closer to Gerard's ear and whispered, "I want you to beg me to fuck you. I want to know you want it as bad as I do."

               Gerard's eyes grew wide in surprise as he felt himself blush deeply, his breathing stopping for a moment as he felt his heart begin to beat wildly.

               Frank turned Gerard around so he was laying down on the couch before he crawled on top of him, tossing the blanket to the floor as he went. "So? Are you going to do it or not?"

               Gerard stared up at Frank, starting to feel breathless. "I-I..." he tried to start, but was at a loss for words.

               Frank aligned his hips to Gerard's and began to grind against him. "I can't hear you," he said as he ran his hand slowly up Gerard's shirt.

               Gerard began to pant lightly, feeling his heart beat faster. "F-Frank," he moaned, pushing his hips up.

               Frank pushed Gerard's hips down with his free hand. "Saying my name doesn't tell me anything," he said as he continued to grind against Gerard.

               Gerard gave another moan and wrapped his legs around Frank's. He wrapped his arms around Frank and pulled him close enough to whisper in his ear. "I want you to fuck me," he whispered. "I want to know that feeling again. I want you; I _need_ you."

               Frank moaned and began to fumble with Gerard's belt he sucked on his neck. Gerard began to undo Frank's belt, panting roughly. "Don't hesitate," he whispered, "I want you to go deep, I want to feel you inside of me..."

               Frank twitched at Gerard's words as he finally got Gerard's pants down. _'Fuck, he really is good at saying the right thing.'_ He tossed Gerard's pants to the floor before tugging his shirt over his head, leaving him completely naked beneath him. "Jesus, you're so gorgeous," Frank said as he stared down at Gerard, biting his lip.

               Gerard continued to pant as he raised his head and looked up, meeting Frank's eyes. He brushed his hand on Frank's cheek, resting his palm on the side of his boyfriend's head as his fingers threaded through his hair. "Frank," he whimpered desperately.

               "Huh? Oh, fuck, sorry. You're so damn distracting." Frank hurried to take his own clothes off before pausing as he looked around. "Hold on a second," he said as he got up and ran through a door that led into another room. He returned a moment later with a small bottle of lube in his hand. "It's just easier this way." He climbed back on top of Gerard as he squeezed some lube onto his palm.

               "Just so long as you get it in me," Gerard moaned, tipping his head back and easing his eyes shut as he continued to pant, feeling his body ache for Frank.

               Frank tossed the bottle of lube to the floor and stroked himself a few times. "Get on all fours and lean against the armrest," Frank directed.

               Gerard nodded and flipped himself over, resting his arms on the armrest, feeling his heart pound in his chest. He made a quiet, begging whimper, closing his eyes and licking his lips as he waited. Frank scooted closer and placed his hands on Gerard's hips as he entered slowly at first, only going half way. He went in and out a few times before slamming into Gerard mercilessly. Gerard let out a loud yelp and dug his fingers into the armrest, panting and whimpering. "Oh God Frank," he whined, feeling a mix of pain and pleasure as the feeling spread throughout his body.

               Frank didn't wait before he began thrusting in and out of Gerard, holding onto his hips tightly.

               Gerard panted desperately, feeling Frank's hips hit against him over and over. He let out a moan. "Fuck... yes... God damn it, Frank, fuck me harder..."

               "I don't remember saying you could talk," Frank said between breaths as he started to thrust harder anyway, his nails digging into Gerard's skin.

               Gerard let out groan, licking his lips as he felt his head fall forward. "Then _stop me_ ," he growled, trying to provoke Frank to get more rough.

               Frank grabbed a hold of Gerard's hair with one hand and pulled his head back as he continued to thrust, picking up the pace with every move. "Don't fucking talk back!"

               Gerard winced slightly, starting to feel dizzy and a bit out of breath from panting so much. " _Make me,_ damn it."

               Frank bit Gerard's neck as he thrust wildly into Gerard. Gerard yelped and bit his lip, his eyes screwing shut as he felt his whole body being pushed by Frank. Frank let go of Gerard's hair and reached around and began stroking Gerard with a tight grip, wanting him to still get pleasure out of all of this. Gerard let his head fall forward again, continuing to pant roughly. "Jesus fucking Christ, Frank..."

               "I don't want to hear you talk, only moan," Frank mumbled as he continued to stroke Gerard, still trying to find the good spot inside of him. Gerard let out a whimper, quietly obeying Frank. He felt a quick twinge inside of him and gasped, biting his lip and he felt his body tense. "Is that it?" Frank asked as he stroked Gerard faster.

               Gerard let out another whimper, not sure of how to answer, but silently begging that Frank would thrust towards the spot again. Frank began to thrust at the same spot, hitting it over and over again as he let out a loud moan, feeling himself getting close. Gerard moaned and whined, clenching his teeth as he felt his body practically ache as the feeling spread through him. Frank occasionally squeezed Gerard's cock tightly as he made long, quick strokes in and out of Gerard, aiming at the same spot every time. Gerard let out a breathless moan every time Frank thrust, and bit down hard on his lip as he felt himself tense around his hips.

               As Frank felt Gerard's body tighten around him, he let out a loud moan, almost sounding like a scream. "Goddammit, Gerard! So fucking close, oh my God..." He continued to thrust, keeping a quick rhythm with his hand. Gerard followed with a loud moan of his own, his grip tightening on the armrest as he came, panting roughly and groaning. Frank thrust a few more times before he came long and hard, yelling Gerard's name. When he came to a stop, he pulled out of Gerard and collapsed onto the couch, completely out of breath.

               Gerard slumped down onto the couch, his head resting on the armrest as he panted roughly, trying to catch his breath. Frank brushed his hair out of his face and shivered, feeling the cold of the basement hit his body. Gerard continued to try and steady his breath, turning himself enough to lay on his side, running his hand through his sweaty hair.

               "Well, now you know what I meant earlier," Frank said, smirking. Gerard blushed and gave a shy smile, feeling himself finally gaining control of his breath. Frank looked around and grabbed the box of tissues off of a coffee-table, cleaning himself off before tossing Gerard the box. "Keep the change, ya filthy animal," Frank said, doing his best to imitate an old mobster.

               Gerard gave a small laugh and cleaned himself off as well. "I only need it for a cab; otherwise, I got much more payment out of that than what money could buy," Gerard answered with a slight smirk and a blush.

               "Well, good, cause I'm broke."

               Gerard laughed again and ducked his head shyly.

               Frank was about to say something when he heard a door slam upstairs, causing him to freeze. "Oh, _shit_!"

               Gerard tensed up for a moment, then quickly grabbed his clothes and threw Frank his, hurrying to get his own on as quietly as possible.

               Frank got dressed quickly before running to a mirror, fixing his hair and wiping sweat off his face, trying not to look as flushed as he was. "Shit, shit. I think it's my dad, my mom's never home this early."

               Gerard tried his best to wipe the sweat off of himself and make his hair only reasonably messy, like how it would be. He swallowed hard. _'This must've been how Frank felt meeting my dad,'_ Gerard thought to himself at the idea of having to speak with Frank's father.

               Frank checked himself once-over again and glanced at Gerard. "You can stay down here if you want... until I can get him up to his room."

               Gerard shifted uncomfortably and nodded. "If you think that's best," he answered quietly.

               "Oh wait," Frank shook his head in frustration. "Goddammit, your stuff is still upstairs, he's gonna see it. You have to come or he'll suspect. Shit, fuck. Come on."

Frank started up the basement steps and Gerard felt the pit of his stomach drop, suddenly becoming very anxious. He swallowed back his fear and followed Frank up the stairs, trying his best to straighten his tie and jacket a little more.

               Frank opened the basement door and walked through it cautiously, keeping an eye out for his dad. He tip-toed into the living room and spotted his father sitting on the couch watching TV, cold beer in hand. "Hey, Dad, you're home early," Frank said, trying to sound normal.

               "Finished everything I needed to so I came home. Why were you in the basement?" Mr. Iero's gaze never once left the television, he spoke in automation, like he was a robot.

               "Oh, uhm, I was just showing my friend the house, this is Gerard," Frank motioned for Gerard to come into the room.

               Gerard took a deep breath before walking in, back straight, shoulders back, and head slightly tipped downward, walking in even steps. "Hello, Mr. Iero," he greeted in a calm, smooth voice, practically a mirror sound of his father's, but younger. "Pardon me; I hope I'm not intruding."

               Frank's dad tore his gaze away from the television to get a good look at Gerard. "Hi, you're not intruding, I suppose. Just hope you're not staying for dinner or anything."

               Frank blushed a deep red in embarrassment. _'Dad, why do you have to be such an ass?'_

               Gerard shook his head politely. "No worries, sir, my parents require me to be home for dinner unless given permission ahead of time," he answered, putting on the same unreadable expression his father would use. _'I'm a little too much like him,'_ he thought to himself.

               "Alright, Jared, nice meeting you. I'm sure Frank has homework he should be doing instead of fucking around with his little friends in the basement." With that, Frank's dad turned back to the TV, acting as if the two boys didn't even exist.

               Gerard bit his lip, holding back a few snarky comments, including 'too late, we already fucked in the basement.' Instead, his took a quiet deep breath and replied with an eerily calm, "Of course, sir."

               Frank walked to the door and grabbed Gerard's stuff for him, holding it out at a far distance for him to take. "Dad, I gotta drive Gerard home, I'll be back later."

               Mr. Iero grunted and looked back at his son. "You know I drove by your school today, prom is coming up, you better find a nice girl to take. Soon. Or else all the good ones will be gone."

               Frank nodded and looked to the ground, still holding the door open and waiting for Gerard.

               Gerard politely took his things and gave a nod to Frank as he walked out the door and stood by the car, chewing on his lip, trying to keep calm until they'd gotten in the car and away from Frank's house.

               Frank walked out, shutting the door behind him before he climbed into the driver's seat, unlocking the rest of the car doors so Gerard could get in. He started the engine and put his seat belt on, ready to get away from his dad. Gerard got in quickly and buckled himself in, praying to get a few blocks away before he went batshit crazy. Frank checked his mirrors and backed out of his driveway, speeding down the street towards Gerard's house.

               "Jesus fucking Christ do you know how much goddamn concentration I had to put into not making any smartass remarks?" Gerard cursed, rubbing his face with his hands. "God fucking damn it is he always like that?"

               "Unfortunately," Frank mumbled, his grip tightening on the steering wheel.

               Gerard let out a long, exasperated sigh, squeezing his eyes shut. "I will fucking cross dress and look like the most convincing woman ever if he dares ask to see your date for Prom," he grumbled, only half joking.

               "That wouldn't fool him, he's not fucking blind. Plus, I doubt he'd care to see whoever I would've picked."

               Gerard rolled his eyes. "I've been mistaken as a chick before," he pointed out before giving a sigh. "And I hope not. That would be terrible..."

               Frank sighed and kept his eyes on the road. "It wouldn't be a big deal...I could find someone to cover for us if he did decide to suddenly give a shit."

               Gerard mumbled something inaudible under his breath and slid down into his seat.

               "What was that? I couldn't really hear you...."

               Gerard shook his head. "Nothing, just me grumbling to myself."

               "Whatever." Frank turned down the road, onto Gerard's street.

               Gerard sighed, hating how Frank was back in a bad mood. _'I wish I could help him, but I'm not even sure if it was or wasn't me who caused this.'_

               Frank pulled into Gerard's driveway before stopping the car, keeping his eyes straight forward. "We're here."

               "I can tell," Gerard answered, looking at Frank. "Was it something I said?"

               "You didn't really say anything," Frank said dryly as he unlocked the car doors.

               "Something you _wanted_ me to say?"

               "No, Gerard, just. I wanna get back home, I'm tired, okay?"

               Gerard sighed sadly, feeling pushed away. "Fine, if you say so," he answered dully, grabbing his stuff and opening the car door.

               "See you tomorrow," Frank said, starting the engine back up.

               Gerard sighed again. "Yeah, see you," he replied quietly, climbing out and gently shutting the door behind him. Frank waited until Gerard moved away from the car before pulling out of the driveway and heading back down the street. Gerard watched Frank drive away and walked into his house, his feelings mixed about the day's events.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for an update!! I had a super busy week but, to make up for it, I posted two chapters! Enjoy and please review!


	22. Don't Dream It's Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you stay, I would even wait all night.  
> Or until my heart explodes.  
> How long Until we find our way  
> In the dark and out of harm?  
> You can run away with me,  
> Anytime you want.  
> \-----  
> Well now this could be the last of all the rides we take.  
> So, hold on tight and don't look back.  
> We don't care about the message Or the rules they make.  
> I'll find you when the sun goes black.
> 
> And you only live forever in the lights you make.  
> When we were young, we used to say,  
> That "you only hear the music when your heart begins to break."  
> \-----  
> (And say goodbye) to the last parade  
> (And walk away) from the choice you made  
> (And say goodnight) to the heart you break   
> \-----  
> Hey now, Hey now!  
> Don't dream it's over!  
> Hey now, Hey now!  
> When the world comes in!  
> They come, they come  
> To build a wall between us!  
> You know they won't win!
> 
> Don't let them win!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Summertime" and "The Kids From Yesterday" and "To The End" by My Chemical Romance and "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House  
> This one is reaaaalllllyyyyy long! Sorry!

               Frank sat outside by the fountain, throwing bits of his sandwich at the ground for the birds. Gerard walked over and sat beside Frank, looking over at him quietly. "Are you alright?" he asked. "Not hungry, or?"

               "Not really," he mumbled.

               Gerard frowned and inched closer. "What's wrong?"

               Frank shrugged. "Nothing. Just not very hungry."

               Gerard sighed and lightly put a hand on Frank's shoulder. "Come on, Frank... I can tell something is wrong. Tell me? Please?"

               Frank shrugged Gerard's hand off and scooted away. "Nothing's wrong! I'm just not hungry. Why can't you accept that?"

               Gerard retracted his hand with a hurt expression. "Because you're acting weird. You're not acting like yourself, and..." he sighed, already feeling defeated.

               Frank set what was left of his food on the ground and looked down. "I'm sorry... it's got nothing to do with you. I'm just a little stressed."

               "You can tell me what it is. I'm here for you. I'm _supposed_ to help you, but I can't if you won't explain."

               "You couldn't help if you wanted to," Frank said, pulling on his hood.

               "Then you can at least explain what's wrong... I'm worried about you, Frankie."

               "It's just my dad. Nothing to worry about. It'll all blow over in a few days, alright?"

               Gerard frowned. "Keeping it a secret won't help. The very least you can do it get it off your chest."

               "Says the secret I'm keeping from my dad." Frank slid onto the ground and moved Gerard's legs apart until he could sit between them. "I just don't know what to do about all this."

               "Well, your mom knows... at least, about your sexuality. Maybe you and her can confront your dad about it? Together? Just about the sexuality part... we shouldn't risk him knowing about our relationship just yet."

               "I know how he'll react. I mean, he just had a hunch I was with a guy and banned me from seeing him. If we confronted him, he'd piece it all together. He's not a stupid guy."

               "But he's not the only parent. If your mom knows, would she let him do that?"

               "She already did," Frank sighed.

               "Then ask her not to?" Gerard suggested. "I mean... just look her in the eyes and ask her not to let him ban you from seeing me. I'm your boyfriend for Christ's sake."

               Frank shook his head and closed his eyes. "It's not going to work. Even if she _did_ stand up to him, who's to say he'll actually listen?"

               Gerard bit his lip and hesitated. "And who's to say _you_ have to listen to _him_?"

               "God," Frank said with a forced laugh. "Honor thy mother and father."

               "And? Wouldn't that also mean not keeping secrets from them? Are you going to tell them about all our little... experiences together? I don't think so."

               "I just can't yet. I'm not ready." Frank mentally kicked himself, hating how weak he was sounding.

               Gerard sighed. "No one can make you. And I'm not the kind of asshole to tell them for you. But something's gotta happen soon, because I hate seeing you like this."

               "Just... not yet, okay? I'll have to eventually..."

               "It doesn't have to be now, but eventually. Only when you're comfortable."

               "Alright... I just hope he gets off my back about prom. He usually forgets things the minute after he says them but he's not letting up about finding a nice _girl_ to go with."

               "Well, you said you had someone who could cover for us," Gerard pointed out uncomfortably. _'Though I'd rather not go through the trouble.'_

               "Yeah, I do, but...I'm gonna hold off until I have to do something."

               "So, dear, how was your day so far?" Frank asked, trying to lighten the mood.

               "Good, I guess," Gerard sighed. "Just tiring. And I've been thinking a lot."

               "About?"

               "Our whole agreement."

               Frank looked up at Gerard, confused. "What agreement? The singing one?"

               Gerard nodded, looking down nervously.

               "Well, what's to think about?"

               "What to sing and when and all that."

               "Oh, shit, Gerard, don't worry so much! It's not like you're proposing or anything. It's not that big of a deal."

               Gerard sighed. "But still... I want it to mean _something_."

               "Anything you do will have meaning to it."

               "Because I make it that way," Gerard sighed. _'And I'm nervous because it's more than just a song.'_

               "How?" Frank asked, now totally bewildered.

               Gerard shook his head and sighed, not sure of how to explain.

               "Fine, don't tell me. Just don't stress so much, okay?" Frank paused and bit his lip, an idea coming to him. "Hey, are you busy tomorrow?"

               "I just don't know how to explain..." Gerard sighed. "And no, I'm usually free on the weekends. How come?"

               "Would you want to go somewhere with me?"

               Gerard blinked. "Well... of course," he answered, surprised.

               "Good," Frank said, smiling. "I'll pick you up around noon."

               "Sounds good to me."

               "Make sure you wear sunscreen and comfy clothes, alright?" Frank looked at his watch. "Ah, the bell's gonna ring in a minute."

               "Uhm... okay?" Gerard agreed, confused. He sighed, peering over Frank's shoulder at his boyfriend's watch. "So it is..."

               "Do you want me to walk you to class? Or can you make it on your own?" Frank asked as he stood up, dusting off his clothes.

               Gerard got up and stood next to Frank. "If you want to walk with me, I wouldn't mind," he answered, looking down at the ground shyly.

               Frank rolled his eyes and linked his arm with Gerard's. "Come on then," he said as he began walking towards the school.

               Gerard blushed and pressed close to Frank as they walked through the halls. _'I've got to get a suit or tuxedo for Prom,'_ his thoughts reminded him as he spotted a few of the posters.

               Frank unlinked their arms and stepped away from Gerard as they reached his classroom. "So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

               Gerard nodded and looked up at Frank. "Definitely," he answered as he leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek.

               Frank blushed and mumbled a quiet, "Okay," before turning and hurrying down the hall.

 

* * *

               After talking to his parents the night before, Gerard woke up early and dressed in a comfy band shirt and a pair of jeans, slipping on his shoes and putting some sun glasses on top of his head for later. He went into the bathroom and applied some sunscreen, and ran downstairs, eating a quick breakfast before relaxing on the couch. He reached into his pocket to make sure he had the money his parents gave him the night before. "Best to be prepared, just in case," his mother had said. He looked at the time: 11:30. He sighed and rested his head on the armrest as he waited.

               Frank was running late since his dad decided to ask him a million questions about what he was doing that day. _'Why does he care all of a sudden?'_ Once he claimed to be taking Jamia out, he hopped into his car and sped to Gerard's house, trying to make it on time as close as he could. He arrived at Gerard's a little after 12 and got out of the car, leaving it running as he ran towards the door. He knocked twice and waited patiently for it to open.

               Gerard jumped off the couch and answered the door. "Hey, Frankie!" Gerard greeted, giving Frank a tight hug. He closed the door behind him and grabbed Frank's hand.

               "So where are we going?"

               "You'll see when we get there. But we gotta start driving now, we got kind of a long drive ahead of us," Frank said, heading back towards the car.

               Gerard blinked but said nothing as he followed Frank to the car. He climbed into the passenger's seat and buckled himself in, making himself comfy in the seat. Frank got in the car and fastened his seat belt. "I didn't have time to get gas before I came so we just gotta make a quick stop," he said as he pulled out of the driveway and started down the road. Gerard nodded quietly and yawned, not used to getting up before noon on the weekend. Frank looked over at Gerard and laughed. "You can sleep until we get there if you want."

               "Nah, I'll be alright," Gerard reassured with another yawn, trying to blink the sleep from his eyes.

               "Yeah, sure you will," Frank teased as he turned into the gas station's parking lot, stopping at a pump.

               Gerard smiled and rested his eyes, quietly listening to the car as he waited. _'Where are we going?'_ he thought to himself. _'Frank just has a thing for surprises, doesn't he? He'll take me somewhere... but he never tells me **where**.'_

               Frank hopped out of the car and ran inside before returning with a plastic bag full of stuff that he dumped in the front seat before filling up the car with gas. When he finished, he got into the driver's seat and pulled away, going towards the highway. Gerard opened his eyes and looked over at the bag. "What's in there?" he asked out of curiosity.

               "Oh," Frank exclaimed as he tossed the bag to Gerard. "Just snacks and shit, you can have whatever you want." He turned on the radio and kept it at a reasonable volume as they continued to drive.

               Gerard peered in quickly, but decided not to rummage around until he actually got hungry. He chewed on his lip a bit, dying to ask where they were going. _'Is he going to randomly take me hiking or camping or something? But we'd need more to be prepared for that...'_

               A few minutes later, Frank reached over into the bag in Gerard's lap and pulled out a Red Bull. He kept the steering wheel level with his knee as he opened it and took a drink from the can. Gerard's eyes flew open and he immediately reached over and grabbed the wheel to steady it. "Frank! You could've asked for my help!" he gasped, his eyes glued to the road.

               Frank set the can between his legs and shooed Gerard's hand away. "I didn't need your help; I had it. I wasn't going to let us crash!"

               Gerard huffed and sat back in his seat, now wide awake. He sunk down in his seat and shifted around, trying to get himself comfy again. Frank turned the radio up and began singing along with lots of hand movements, totally ignoring Gerard's freak out a minute earlier. Gerard looked over at Frank, failing to bite back a smile.

               When the riff in Boston's 'More Than A Feeling' came in, Frank began to make the sounds along with the guitars. He looked over at Gerard and laughed at how calm he was being when Frank himself was acting like a total idiot. Gerard laughed and closed his eyes; resting his head on the seat and he started to relax again, listening to the radio and Frank with a smile.

               Frank calmed down after the operatic song had finished and resorted to humming along quietly and they drove for a long period of time. Gerard shifted around in his seat a bit and opened his eyes, looking at the road in front of them. "Do they play stuff like Queen on this station?"

               "Yeah, it's classic rock, why?"

               Gerard shrugged and listened continued to listen to the radio quietly.

               They drove in silence for a while until Queen's 'Killer Queen' came on. "Hey, Gerard. Queen's on," Frank said, nudging Gerard's shoulder.

               "I know," Gerard answered quietly with a small smile, his eyes closed as he listened. He started to quietly hum along with the song as it played, letting himself relax.

               Frank shrugged and turned his attention back to the road, his heading nodding in time with the music. As the song continued, Gerard quietly started singing along, forgetting he was in the car with Frank. "To avoid complications, she never kept the same address... In conversation, she spoke just like a baroness... Met a man from China, went down to Geisha Minah, then again incidentally, if you're that way inclined..."

               Frank quickly glanced over at Gerard and smirked. Still unaware that he had instinctively started to sing, Gerard's voice became a bit louder as the chorus went about: "She's a Killer Queen! Gunpowder, gelatin! Dynamite with a laser beam! Guaranteed to blow your mind!"             

               Frank felt a smile creep across his face as he listened to Gerard. _'Fuck, he's actually really good.'_ Tapping his foot and nodding slightly to the beat, Gerard continued to sing along, enjoying music as it continued to play, smiling the whole time. Frank stayed quiet and kept his eyes on the road, occasionally chancing a glance at Gerard, not wanting to break his musical trance.

               When the song finally ended, Gerard sat in his seat, relaxed. It took him a moment or two to realize he'd been singing the whole time, but when he did realize, his eyes opened and he slipped lower into his seat, his face burning as he stared at his lap. _'Oh...'_

               Frank reached over a hand and rested it on Gerard's knee as a form of comfort. _'I don't know why he's so shy about his voice when he sounds like a fucking God.'_

               Gerard's face burned even more as he shrunk down lower, drowning in a wave of embarrassment. _'That was completely unplanned,'_ he thought to himself. _'Maybe I should've asked him to switch the station. I mean... I always sing along with Queen. It just happens. How did I think it'd be any different this time?'_

               Frank looked at Gerard and frowned. "Are you okay?"

               "Just beating myself for over-looking the fact that I'd sing Queen in my sleep if it came on, and just... ugh." Gerard chewed on his lip, trying to keep himself from blushing any more.

               "Gerard, stop being so dramatic. You sounded amazing. I don't know why you're so shy about your voice."

               Gerard shrugged and continued to stare at his lap. _'I'm not as good as Freddie,'_ he thought quietly to himself.

               Frank sighed and looked at a sign as they passed. "We're close."

               "Close to where?" Gerard asked, trying to change the subject as well as find out where they were going.

               "You'll see," is all Frank said as he switched lanes to take an exit.

               Gerard sighed. _'So stubborn,'_ he thought as he sat up a little in his seat to see where they were going.

               Frank turned onto a road that had nothing around it, only land and a few signs reading 'SIX FLAGS EXIT LEFT'. He sped past quickly hoping Gerard wouldn't be able to read anything. Gerard grabbed onto the edges of the seat as Frank pressed the gas, feeling himself getting forced into the seat. "Why are you driving so fast?" Gerard gasped, looking around frantically.

               "Just wanna get there quickly?"

               "So you floor it?"

               "I like it fast," Frank said as he slowed down, pulling into the Six Flags parking lot.

               "You could say that for more than just driving," Gerard mumbled, trying not to blush.

               Frank smirked at Gerard before he pulled up to the parking attendant's station to pay for a pass. He found a spot halfway down to the park and stopped the car. "We're here, if you couldn't tell."

               Gerard looked up from lap, which he'd continued to stare at after the little speeding incident. "An amusement park?" he observed, looking around. _'How long until I tell him I've never been?'_

               "Yeah...you okay with it? I thought it'd be fun," Frank said, chewing on his lip-ring nervously.

               "Well, I mean... I guess so? I've, uhm... never been to Six Flags before, so... I mean, it's worth a shot... right?"

               "You've never been? Oh my God, Gerard! This is gonna be so fun! You're gonna love it!" Frank unbuckled his seat belt and hopped out of the car.

               Gerard shifted nervously as he unbuckled himself and got out of the car. _'Except there's the whole fucking scary as hell roller coaster thing_ ,' he thought to himself.

               Frank immediately ran to Gerard's side and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the park. Gerard followed as best he could, practically being dragged by Frank as they made their way to the entrance. Frank stopped once they got in line, only around 20 people were in front of them so it wasn't going to be such a long wait. He let go of Gerard's hand and got out his wallet, readying his money.

               "U-uhm, my parents gave me money, just in case..." Gerard quickly said, reaching down into his pocket. "I can pay for myself."

               "No. I got it," Frank said firmly.

               "But..." Gerard looked up and studied Frank's face for a moment before letting out a sigh and taking his hand out of his pocket. _'So, so stubborn.'_

               Frank smiled, appreciating Gerard not fighting him about money. They moved quickly up the line until they reached the ticket booth. Frank got two all-day passes and stepped through the gate, getting a stamp on his hand as he went. Gerard followed, staring at everything and taking it in with awe. 'Everything's so _huge_ ,' he thought to himself, grabbing Frank's hand with the sudden fear of losing him in the large park.

               "So, where do you wanna go first?" Frank asked, practically bouncing on his feet with excitement.

               Gerard shuffled his feet. "U-uhm, I dunno... I've never been here, remember? You choose."

               "Well, we can go on a big ride or a small ride."

               _'Or maybe no ride at all?'_ Gerard thought to himself nervously. He swallowed hard. "Y-your choice," he answered.

               "Let's start with a small one. Let's go on The Buccaneer, it's not too scary," Frank said as he pulled Gerard towards the ride.

               Gerard let himself get dragged to the ride, starting to feel the pit of his stomach drop. _'Jesus Christ I'm gonna die, this ride is going to fucking kill me, shit, shit, shit.'_

               Frank ran up as the ride was being boarded. He and Gerard were the last two to get on, leaving them at the top seats in the giant boat. He buckled himself in and looked over at Gerard with a huge grin on his face. "I fuckin' love this ride!"

               Gerard bit his lip and smiled at Frank nervously, feeling like he was going to throw up before the ride even started.

               Once the ride attendant came by and checked everyone's safety bars, he signaled for the ride to start. Frank held onto the bar in front of him, already feeling the adrenaline begin to rush through him. Gerard chewed on his lip, his knuckles turning white with how hard he was gripping the bar. _'I'm going to die; I'm going to die, for the love of Jesus I'm going to die.'_

               Frank nudged Gerard excitedly as the ride went backwards, sending them high into the air. "This is it, Gerard! Get ready!"

               Gerard clenched his teeth, staring in front of him. "Oh fuck, oh shit, oh God, we're gonna die. Jesus Christ we're gonna fucking die."

               Before Frank could tell Gerard to calm down, they were sent flying forward, causing the other end of the ride to swoop all the way up, and then back down again quickly. Frank threw his hands in the air, yelling each time they were thrust into the air. Gerard's eyes squeezed shut as he clung for dear life to the bar, screaming the moment they were sent forward. He dared to open his eyes slightly at one point, only to see the giant drop in front of them. They continued to go back and forth in quick motions until the ride suddenly shifted, signaling the end. Frank held back onto the bar as the ride began to slow down. When it finally stopped, Frank hopped up and hurried off the ride, standing by the gate for Gerard. Gerard half-climbed, half-stumbled off the ride, grabbing Frank's arm as support, still wide eyed as they made their way from the ride.

               "Did you like it?" Frank asked as they stepped off of the platform; now back in the middle of the park.

               Gerard blinked a few times, still trying to recover a bit, before starting to laugh, catching himself by surprise. "That... was actually pretty fun! Fucking scary as hell... but fun!"

               "Really? You liked it?" Frank smiled widely, happy that Gerard wasn't going to hate spending the day there.

               Gerard looked at Frank, grinning. "Well, I mean, after you get over the whole 'This thing is going to kill me' part... yeah!" He laughed a little, feeling a bit embarrassed for being so scared.

               Frank laughed and hugged Gerard tightly. "You're such a drama queen. Anyway, where do you wanna go next?"

               "Uhh, I dunno, you choose again," Gerard laughed, holding Frank's hand tightly.

               "How about... the Batman? It's my second favorite ride."

               Gerard shifted a little, memories of conversation that were eavesdropped on from other students about how terrifying the ride was coming back to him. "I, uhm, I guess, if you want to."

               "Fuck yes, let's go!" Frank led Gerard to what was supposed to be the Bat Cave, but was really only a free-standing, blacked out building. They walked up several flights of stairs until they had to stop to get in a line. "Dammit, this ride always has a million people wanting to get on it."

               _'The wait is fine by me,'_ Gerard sighed to himself. He looked over to Frank and squeezed his hand. "It's okay, we'll be on soon."

               "Yeah, but, I never know what to do when I have to wait in long lines. It's so boring," Frank complained.

               "Uhm, I guess we can, uh... talk?" Gerard suggested with a small laugh, pressing close to Frank's side.

               "About what?" Frank immediately felt stupid for asking such a dumb question. _'Great, I can't even talk to my own boyfriend. Social skills abound.'_

               Gerard shifted his feet. "Uhm... I dunno..." He thought for a moment. "Well, uhm. I'm not sure what I should wear for Prom, a tux or a suit. And if it's a suit... what kind?"

               "I-What? There's a difference?" Frank asked, his eyes widening.

               Gerard laughed. "Well yeah, there's English cut, American cut, Italian cut... they all have their pros and cons. And then there's two different kinds of tuxedos... I'm just not sure which would look best on me. Or which one you'd like the most."

               "Uhm....shit. Just wear whatever you think is best? You'll look good in anything."

               Gerard laughed again and blushed a little. "I know, but still... I just wanna look my best... y'know?"

               "Have your mom take you shopping or something... she'll help you look good," Frank suggested.

               "More like my dad; I mean, he knows more about suits than I do, since that's all he wears for his job," Gerard pointed out with a giggle. "I'm just afraid I'll end up looking dressed for work instead of a dance."

               "Ah, fuck it; just show up naked. Who needs clothes anyway?"

               "Frank!" Gerard scolded, laughing and blushing like crazy. He gave his boyfriend a light shove. "You _would_ like that, wouldn't you?"

               "Fuck yes I would," Frank said with a smirk.

               Gerard giggled and shouldered Frank. "Yeah, but I'd rather not do that in front of the whole school."

               "Why? Are you not man enough?"

               "Do you want everyone to see what only you should see?" Gerard retorted playfully with another giggle.

               Frank's eyes darkened as he stepped further ahead, placing them next in line. "No, you're right. Clothes it is."

               Gerard looked up at Frank and frowned. "Wh... what's wrong...?" he asked, a feeling of worry rising in his chest at Frank's sudden change.

               "Nothing, just keep your clothes on," Frank said, forcing a laugh.

               "Well, come on... you know I wouldn't _actually_ do anything like that."

               "Yeah, okay..." Before Frank could say anything else, the gates popped open and he stepped onto the platform before struggling to get onto one of the seats for the ride. "Goddammit." Gerard climbed on and grabbed Frank's hand, helping to pull him up to the seat next to him with a warm smile. Frank sighed and pulled down the safety bar as he mumbled quiet, "Thanks." Gerard craned his neck far enough to give Frank a gentle kiss, trying to comfort him. Frank half-smiled and sat back in his seat, waiting for the ride to start.

               As the ride attendant came by, she stopped by Frank's seat longer than she did the others and reached between his legs, 'testing the lock'. He glared as she moved to Gerard's seat, simply pushing down on the shoulder piece before she stepped aside to give the signal for the ride to start. Gerard shot Frank an apologetic glance, trying to give his boyfriend support without actually saying anything. _'Because I would totally screw it up,'_ he admitted to himself.

               When the ride started, they shot out of the tunnel, sending them twisting upside down above trees, their feet dangling wildly. Frank held on tightly to his seat, screaming loudly as the ride picked up speed. Gerard halfway folded his knees, suddenly terrified of his legs hanging freely in the air. Gerard started to scream as well, laughing a bit when he looked to Frank, happy to see him enjoying his time. The ride ended as quickly as it started, leaving everyone breathless as they pulled back into the tunnel. As soon as the bars were released, Frank jumped down and ran to the side, bouncing on his feet as he waited for his boyfriend to catch up.

               Gerard got off and stumbled slightly again, still not used to the rides. He caught up to Frank and tripped, quickly grabbing a hold of Frank to keep himself from hitting the ground. "Jesus Christ, I'm afraid I won't be able to use my legs by the time we're done!" Gerard joked.

               Frank half-laughed, half-snorted as he helped Gerard to steady his balance. "You'll get used to it, don't be a pansy."

               Gerard giggled. _'God he has such a cute laugh.'_ "I'm not a pansy, sheesh! I'm a goddamn wildflower!"

               "That... is the gayest thing I have ever heard," Frank said before bursting into laughter.

               Gerard started to laugh as well. "Well, look who the fuck you're talking to! What would you expect?"

               "Honestly... not that. Come on, let's go on Superman," Frank said as he began walking towards the ride. Gerard giggled again and grabbed Frank's hand as he followed him to the next ride.

               The line was much longer this time as they approached it. Frank hurried up to the end of the crowd and stood, watching the ride take people up to an extreme height before dropping them back down. "Holy shit, I forgot how insane this one was."

               Gerard blinked and swallowed. "That's... pretty high." he remarked, feeling more nervous than usual.

               "Yeah, but it's one of the best rides here."

               Gerard shuffled his feet. "Is it... uhm...safe?"

               "If it wasn't, it wouldn't be here. Trust me, it's fine." Frank gave Gerard's hand a light squeeze before moving ahead in line a few feet.

               Gerard chew on his lip nervously. "I-if you say so," he mumbled, trying to gather his fleeting courage.

               "You're not too scared are you?"

               "N-no, no, I'm fine... just a bit... nervous, is all."

               Frank followed the line forward before turning back to face Gerard. "Don't be nervous, it's not really that bad."

               "I-I'll be okay, don't worry," Gerard reassured.

               As it became closer to being their turn, Frank stared up at the ride, suddenly feeling very nervous himself. _'Well, shit,'_ he thought. Gerard pressed closely to Frank, trying his best to keep himself calm. _'Come on... if Frank isn't scared, why should I be?'_

               Frank stepped into the separate lines that lead to a different section of the ride, meaning they were next. He tensed up and kept his eyes to the ground, trying to remember that he _would_ see it again. _'I can't do this. Holy shit. Why did I think this would be fun? Shoot me now.'_

               Gerard looked over to Frank and squeezed his hand. "Frank?" he whispered. "Are you okay?" Frank nodded once, staying silent, afraid his voice would betray him. "Are you sure?" Gerard asked again, sensing Frank's apprehension. "We don't have to ride if you don't want to."

               "No, no, I'm fine. Let's go." Frank released Gerard's hand and stepped through the gate and jumped up onto a seat on the ride. He pulled down the safety bar as far as he could and pushed against it, making sure it wasn't going to budge.

               Gerard took his seat next to Frank, chewing nervously on his lip. 'Jesus fuck we're going to go up so goddamn high this is fucking scary, shit!'

               The attendants came by, pushing down the bars tightly before running back to the controls, sending everyone going up slowly. _'Oh, this will be okay, I remember th-'_

               The ride jolted before picking up speed and hurling everyone up to the very top of the ride. Frank screamed in terror, his legs dangling wildly as his hands gripped the bars tightly. Gerard grabbed Frank's hand, trying to keep him calm, as well as himself. He looked up to the sky, not daring to look down at the ground, knowing they were at a dizzying height. He chewed on his lip nervously and looked over to Frank, giving him a smile to try and reassure him. _'Oh Jesus, this is fucking scary, fuck, shit, damn it.'_

               Frank kept his eyes closed, chanting "I'm gonna die," over and over again as he waited for the ride to plummet back down.

               "At least I'll die with you," Gerard half joked, though he wasn't sure if it was a joke or not. 'God I can just _feel_ how high we are; this is fucking scary. Jesus fucking Christ, why?'

               Frank was about to make a snarky comment before he was cut off by the sound of one of the sides filled with people falling. Frank opened his eyes in fear, immediately regretting it as their own section was sent hurdling towards the earth. "Holy, shit, holy shit!" he screamed.

               Gerard was about to ask why others were screaming when he suddenly felt the ride plummet, letting out a shocked and terrified shriek as they went down. _'I can practically feel my insides being sent up to my chest fuck fuck fuck oh, Jesus! fuck!'_

               When the ride stopped near the bottom, Frank was still screaming. The safety bars released and he tumbled out of his seat and to the ground, his knees weak. "Oh my fucking, God. Never again."

               Gerard stumbled out of his seat and helped Frank up, falling down slightly while doing so, wide-eyed with terror. "M-m-maybe we sh-should take a break," he mumbled, shaking from the ride.

               Frank nodded in agreement and slowly walked to a picnic table. "That was insane. I'm sorry I suggested going on it."

               Gerard laughed nervously. "At least we didn't die," he pointed out, still shaken as he sat down.

               "I feel like I'm on the brink of death," Frank said as he sat across from Gerard.

               "Glad to know I'm not the only one," Gerard answered, slumping himself over the table, his arms almost reaching Frank.

               "But... it was fun, right?"

               "I guess?" Gerard answered, resting his chin on the table. "I'm not sure. I think my brain hit the roof of my skull and I can't really think at the moment."

               "Oh, great. Now I gotta take care of a brain damaged boyfriend. Mein kampf."

               "You gotta take care of me whether I'm brain damaged or not, that's what you signed up for," Gerard replied with a small laugh.

               "Woah, I don't remember making any vows! When did this happen?"

               "When you said yes to going out with me. Didn't you read the Terms and Conditions?"

               "Who the fuck ever reads that?!"

               Gerard laughed. "Well, you should've, because look what you've gotten yourself into!"

               "Well, time to off myself," Frank joked.

               "You can't now, you already agreed," Gerard replied, looking up at Frank and sticking out his tongue.

               "Goddammit. There goes my fun."

               "Oh, please; you have fun with me...in more ways than one."

               "Nah, I know people who are better to have fun with," Frank said, looking posh.

               "You better not, or else I'll have to figure out new ways for us to 'have fun'."

               "Well, I do know people. And what new ways would you have in mind?"

               Gerard looked away, blushing. "Uhm, n-nothing," he mumbled, suddenly feeling shy.

"No, no. You can't say something like that and just try to back out of explaining yourself," Frank pushed.

               Gerard chewed on his lip and avoided Frank's gaze. "I'd have to think of some first," he copped out.

               "That's fine, I can wait. I have all day," Frank said, crossing his arms.

               "Oh come _on_ ; we're in public, Frank!"

               "No one is paying attention to us! Grow a pair!"

               "So? No one was in the band room, and you wanted to wait. Why can't I torture you a little?" Gerard answered with a smirk.

               "Because I'm not as fucking patient as you, that's why," Frank huffed.

               "Then I guess you'll have to learn some patience, because I'm not telling," Gerard teased.

               "Fine," Frank said before standing up and starting to walk away slowly.

               Gerard got up and walked over to Frank. "Oh come on... I'm only teasing."

               "No, no, go back and be stubborn. I'm off to find a boyfriend who will be nice to me." Frank continued walking, fighting hard to hold back a smile.

               "Come on, Frankie, you know I'll tell you eventually," Gerard begged, giving him his best puppy dog eyes.

               "I don't like that word much. I don't like waiting if I don't have to," Frank replied, not bothering to look at Gerard.

               Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank's shoulders. "Frankiiie," he whined, trying to get his boyfriend to look at him.

               "Leave me alone, who are you? Stranger danger!" Frank shouted playfully.

               Gerard let go of Frank and pouted. "Okay, I guess I'll just wander off and let someone else find me then."

               "Pshh, everyone's busy with their lives. They won't notice a sad little boy looking for someone to take him home."

               "So how do you presume you find someone else, then?"

               "With my charming good looks and hot bod," Frank said, wiggling his hips.

               Gerard giggled. "Well, I dunno, I mean, you seemed busy with your life, yet you noticed this 'sad little boy'."

               "Oh yes, school is _so_ busy for me. Especially on the first day." Frank paused, thinking back to when they met. "You know what? I was busy. You almost made me late to class, asshole!"

               Gerard stuck out his lower lip. "Well, I guess I'll just have to hope someone is desperate enough to want me then if you don't."

               "Or you could woo them," Frank suggested.

               "I'd much rather play the innocent act, it's much more appealing to more dominate people," Gerard replied.

               "Hah, you couldn't seduce anyone with that!"

               "I got you with it, didn't I?"

               "Did you?" Frank asked, raising an eyebrow.

               "Well, you're here not aren't you? And was I being all flirty and suggestive? I think you've lost this argument."

               "I-fuck. Fine, you win this round."

               Gerard smirked and giggled, rocking back and forth on his feet slightly. "Told you," he teased.

               "Yeah, yeah, fuck off." Frank stepped towards Gerard and grabbed his hand. "So, what do you wanna do now? Are you ready for another ride or do you want to eat?"

               Gerard shrugged. "I'm up for anything you want to do, really," he replied with a shy smile.

               "I'm not really hungry yet, let's go on the Big Wheel."

               Gerard blinked and nodded. "Alright, you lead the way."

               Frank held onto Gerard's hand as they made their way to the edge of the park, eventually ending up at the giant Ferris wheel. Since so many people could fit on the ride at once, they were able to walk right on. Frank got in the private car and waited for Gerard to join. Gerard climbed in and snuggled closely to Frank, thankful for a break from all the adrenaline-inducing rides for something more calm.

               Once the short gate was closed, the ride began to move in a giant, slow-moving circle. Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard and sighed, feeling completely relaxed. Gerard cuddled closer to Frank and rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, closing his eyes.

               "Are you having fun so far?"

               Gerard nodded quietly and kissed Frank's cheek. Frank smiled and looked up at the sky, thankful for a day without rain or too many clouds. Gerard hesitated a moment before scooting on to Frank's lap and nuzzling his neck softly. Frank closed his eyes and held Gerard closer to his chest. Gerard snuggled closer and let out a quiet, content sigh, his eyes easing shut once more. Frank rubbed Gerard's back up and down slowly as he stared out over the park, noting how small everything seemed. "You're very touchy today, aren't you?" Frank giggled softly.

               "I can't help it -- you're the perfect person to cuddle with," Gerard answered softly, nuzzling Frank.

               "Why? Because I'm soft and small like a teddy bear?"

               Gerard giggled. "I dunno, maybe. You're also strong and protective, and you make the perfect boyfriend."

               "Oh, yes, perfect with my constant bitching and moaning," Frank said, rolling his eyes.

               "Oh, please! I'm worse than you in that aspect," Gerard replied before kissing Frank on the lips.

               Frank kissed back gently before laughing. "Well, good thing I'm willing to put up with your shit, huh?"

               "Yeah, though I'm not sure exactly what you gain from it."

               "I get to do stuff like this..." Frank leaned forward, kissing Gerard more forcefully this time.

               Gerard's eyes grew wide for a moment before easing shut as he pressed back lightly, pulling himself closer to Frank. Frank eased his tongue into Gerard's mouth, deepening the kiss as his hands moved to Gerard's hips. Gerard let out a small whimper as he felt his breath collide with Frank's, flicking his tongue across his boyfriend's as he tipped his head to the side slightly. Frank moaned quietly, tightening his grip as he explored Gerard's mouth with his tongue. Gerard continued to kiss Frank back, letting his body relax into Frank's hold.

               Frank stopped all movement when he heard an impatient cough from behind them. The ride had stopped and it was time for them to get off. "Oh, shit," Frank said, embarrassed.

               Gerard blushed and pulled away from Frank, quickly getting off his lap and grabbing his hand before getting off, ducking his head shyly. _'Oops.'_ Frank followed Gerard, trying his best to stare at his boyfriend's back and not at the judging eyes of the people in line.

               As they walked from the line, Gerard dared to look up and shoot a couple of warning glances at some of the people, wanting to defend Frank as best he could. _'We're no different from anyone else,'_ he thought to himself. _'You have no reason to look at us that way.'_

               Once they were away from the situation, Frank sighed heavily, feeling small and stupid. _'I should've been thinking more. This is a public place... I'm such a fucking idiot.'_

               Gerard looked at Frank and gave his hand a squeeze. "It's okay, Frank," he whispered quietly, trying to reassure him. "Other teenagers do it too."

               Frank shook his head and stared at the ground. "We shouldn't have been doing anything like that. No one should've had to witness it."

               Gerard flinched slightly. "You make it sound like we were doing something indecent. Everyone kisses, damn it. It doesn't matter who -- people just do!"

               "It _was_ indecent. It wasn't just a simple kiss, it was vulgar and we shouldn't have done it."

               " _Vulgar_? For Christ's sake, Frank, how was that vulgar? It's not like we were trying to get each other's clothes off! I see worse on a regular basis, at school, in public, and no one fucking cares!"

               "Well, the people here cared! We offended them and it was wrong!"

               Gerard snorted. "You know good and well why they were 'offended’ and it's a stupid reason."

               "Still. I wouldn't want them shoving that shit down my throat either. We just... need to be more careful. We can't do that stuff where everyone can see."

               Gerard let go of Frank's hand and looked at him. "It's not shoving it down their fucking throats. If they don't want to look, they don't fucking have to." He huffed and started to walk away, not sure why he was suddenly so angry about it all.

               "W-where are you going?" Frank asked, confused.

               Gerard kept silent and continued to walk, not completely sure himself. _'Somewhere to sit. Somewhere where there aren't many people around. Somewhere where I can think.'_

               Frank went to follow Gerard, but thought the better of it and stayed put, feeling unsure of what to do with himself. _'Well, this is just fucking great.'_

               Gerard walked a bit further before stopping and sighing. _'How the fuck do I even expect to find a place if I don't know my way around this goddamn park?'_

               Frank found a bench and sat down, watching people walk by. _'I'm so done with this day. Why do I fucking ruin everything?'_

               Gerard grumbled a bit to himself before turning around and trying to back-track his steps. _'What the fuck was I supposed to accomplish from walking away?'_

               Frank saw Gerard making his way back towards him and looked down at the ground, not wanting to get his hopes up. _'He probably came back to tell me what an asshole I am.'_

               Gerard spotted Frank with his head down, gaze to the ground, with a look of shame. _'Great, I went and upset him. Time to collect my award for shittiest boyfriend.'_

               He sighed and walked a bit closer, then hesitated, not sure if he should sit by Frank or not. _'What if he just tells me to fuck off? I mean, I deserve it, but...'_

               Frank looked up at Gerard expectantly, waiting for him to do something. _'Is he gonna leave or what?'_

               Gerard look at Frank and flinched slightly at his gaze. _'His eyes are so beautiful... God damn it, why do I mess these things up all the time?'_ He looked away to the ground before slowly making his way over and sitting next to Frank, looking down at his feet.

               Frank waited in silence for a few minutes before he nudged Gerard's foot with his own, inviting conversation. Gerard sat silently, still gazing at the ground, before letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I just... I _know_ the only reason we were getting dirty looks was because, well... because we're two guys... if it had been a girl and a guy, they would've been less rude about it, and no one would've glared... and it's just... it's not right. And I don't want to just roll over and let them have their way. Or else it'll get to the point that holding hands is 'too offensive' for them."

               "Making out in front of them won't change anything though... neither will violence."

               "But we didn't do it on purpose. It's not like we decided to do that in front of them for the purpose of getting them to accept it. It's not right -- nor should they be allowed to expect -- that we actually have to hesitate to show affection for each other just because we're two guys. We're not grinding up against each other in public; they can deal with it. It was an accident, we didn't know. And it shouldn't matter anyways."

               "Well, it did matter. It's done. Just... let it go, alright?"

               "Well, they can just fucking deal with it," Gerard snapped, kicking at the ground. _'He's the one who always fights; why is he giving up and giving in with this?'_

               "Or, we can fucking deal with it and just keep our hands off each other for a little while. It shouldn't be that fucking hard!"

               "And why should we?! You didn't have a goddamn problem with it until some assholes decided to give us a bad look! Jesus Christ, Frank, why are you rolling over? Of all the fucking people!"

               "Because it's not that big of a goddamned deal! Let it go!"

               "If it's not a fucking big deal, then why are you the one saying we should fucking change?!" Gerard snapped, turning to Frank.

               "I meant it's not a big deal for us to hold back for the sake of other people! It's not a big deal to just give in once in a while," Frank spat.

               "Oh, okay, so when people start saying that us being together is 'offensive', we should just fucking break up then, right? Because that's what your goddamn logic leads to!"

"If it pisses off a lot of people... then maybe..." Frank couldn't help but to think of his dad and how he'd _make_ them break up if he found out, simply because it was offensive to him.

               Gerard looked Frank straight in the eyes. "Are you fucking serious? I thought you stood up for what you believed in, not roll over and fucking puss out."

               Frank looked to the ground, feeling ashamed. "I just... this can be dangerous if too many people get angry over it. I don't want anything bad happening when it doesn't need to. It's not worth it."

               "Not worth it? So you're saying our relationship isn't worth it? Wow, I sure fucking feel accomplished!"

               "That's not what I meant! Goddammit!" Frank covered his face with his hands, rubbing his palms into his eyes. _'I can never say the right thing, why do I even try? I should just shut my mouth before this gets even worse.'_

               Gerard huffed, crossing his arms and leaning back against the bench, glaring at the ground. _'Why the fuck am I the one urging him to fight?'_

               Frank sat up and look at Gerard, his eyes red and puffy. "Do you want me to take you home?"

               Gerard looked at Frank, a wave of guilt hitting him when he saw the other's face. _'I need to just keep my fucking mouth shut_...' He looked down at the ground again, shoulders drooping. "I don't know," he mumbled.

               "I could pay for a bus or something if you don't want to be with me... I'd understand."

               "God damn it Frank, you know that's not what I meant."

               "Not really... I don't know what you mean anymore. Do you want to go home or don't you? Do you want to break up or don't you? Are you done with this or aren't you?" Frank felt more tears threatening to push through. _'Goddammit, why can't I keep my emotions in check?! What the fuck is wrong with me?'_

               Gerard twitched. "No I don't want to fucking break up! Since when did I ever say that?! And I'll go home whenever the fuck you want me to!"

               "You don't have to say it! I'd break up with me too, it's okay. I wouldn't want to be with someone so willing to give up. And _please_ stop yelling at me." Frank's shoulders hunched as he looked around, praying no one was giving them unwanted attention again.

               "I'm not yelling! And god damn it Frank, what the hell is wrong with you? After all we've been through? You think I want to fucking break up? Yeah, just stop me from fucking jumping off a bridge! Thanks! It's not like it was anything _big_!"

               "Anyone could've done it," Frank mumbled.

               Gerard snorted. "Right. That's exactly why I didn't even fucking think to stop until you showed up. Because _anyone_ could do it."

               "If it wasn't me, it would've been someone else in my position. Maybe you wouldn't have even been up there in the first place," Frank shrugged.

               "Frank. If you hadn't come around, I wouldn't have been there because I would've already been dead."

               "You don't know that."

               "Yeah because a .45 to the head isn't a guaranteed way to die. Nope. Not at all."

               Frank twitched as his chest began to ache. "Don't talk like that," he whispered.

               "You're the one who said it was no big deal. So that weekend visit to my uncle's house would've been 'no big deal' if I hadn't ever met you."

               Frank shook his head, not wanting to hear anymore. He turned to Gerard and wrapped his arms around him tightly, burying his face into the other teen's chest. Gerard flinched, expecting Frank to _punch_ him more than _hug_ him. He felt his muscles relax and wrapped his arms gently around Frank, falling quiet.

               "I'm sorry I'm such an asshole... I'm sorry I can't be better with my words and I'm _really_ sorry I'm too selfish to think about your feelings more often."

               Gerard hugged Frank closer. "You're not an asshole," he whispered. "And you're not selfish... I just... I get a little emotional over shit sometimes; it's not your fault."

               "It is. I should be stronger. I should be willing to fight for us, but I'm not. I haven't told _anybody_ about us." Frank closed his eyes, feeling immensely guilty.

               "Frank, it's not your fault... your dad..." Gerard swallowed hard and pulled Frank closer, partially for his own comfort. "He's pretty much the obstacle... but it's one that could threaten your well-being."

               "No, Gerard, you don't understand. Yes, my dad is a problem, but, I haven't told anyone. Not even any of my friends. As far as anyone is concerned, we're just friends. That's it."

               Gerard fell quiet, resting his chin on top of Frank's head. "And why haven't you told anyone?"

               Frank shrugged, not having any real answer. "I just haven't I guess."

               Gerard sat silently and continued to hold Frank, no longer having any words to say. After a few minutes, Frank sat up and away from Gerard. "So... what now? Do you want to leave?"

               Gerard looked down, suddenly feeling exhausted. "I dunno," he sighed with a shrug. "Whatever you want, I guess."

               "Let's just go. We can always come back."

               Gerard sighed. "Alright."

               Frank stood up and began to wind his way out of the park, not bothering to see if Gerard was following him. Gerard followed behind Frank as close as he could manage, wishing he could lighten the mood.

               Once they made it out of the front entrance, Frank made a bee-line for the car, wanting to get away from the place as soon as possible. _'I'm just so tired and frustrated and the car is so fucking far away!'_

               Gerard tried his best to follow Frank, but as he started to fall behind he tripped, sending him stumbling forward a few feet before falling to his hands and knees. _'Fuck, why am I so goddamn clumsy?!'_

               Frank heard a noise behind him and turned around. Seeing Gerard had fallen, he hurried back to him, immediately starting to help him up. "Shit, Gerard, are you okay?" _'Why does he always fall? Even I'm not this bad.'_

               "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Gerard mumbled, embarrassed by his ungraceful steps.

               Frank helped Gerard to his feet and dusted some dirt off of him. "Come on, the car's just over that way," Frank said, nodding in front of him.

               Gerard nodded and slowlywalked to the car, feeling a twinge of guilt. _'I ruined all of this for him. God damn it.'_

               Frank hurried ahead of Gerard and unlocked the car before getting in and starting the engine. The radio came on and Frank immediately shut it off, not wanting to hear anything. Gerard climbed in and buckled himself in; looking down in silence, feeling a wave of shame hit him.

               Frank pulled out of the parking lot and back onto the highway, silent the entire time. Gerard shuffled a bit in his seat, the silence becoming uncomfortable and unnerving. Frank tapped his fingers against the steering wheel as he drove, his mind free from all thought. Gerard let out a quiet sigh and looked out the window, unable to think of anything to say.

               After driving for a while, Frank reached into the plastic bag from the gas station and pulled out a can of coke before opening it and chugging it all down. He looked over at Gerard and then back to the road. _'Well, this is awesome. Love awkward silences.'_

               Gerard continued to look out the window, plunged deep in thought. He kept replaying memories from the past, starting from the latest to the most recent, causing him to blush slightly, then feel his heart break, remembering how Frank's father seemed like one who would never accept them... And that's when a thought hit Gerard, causing a feeling of panic to rise in his chest. "F-Frank?" he whispered, leaning back from the window.

               "What?" Frank asked, absolutely no emotion in his voice.

               "D-did you, uhm... remember to clean up _everything_ from when we were at your house?" Gerard asked, his voice shaking.

               "What are you talking abou-" Frank stopped, a sudden realization hitting him. "Oh, shit, you mean the stuff in the basement? No, I didn't. I think I forgot. I-holy shit. Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck!" Frank pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car. "I didn't clean _anything_ up. I was so worried about getting upstairs. Holy shit, Gerard. No. Maybe no one went down there? No, of course they did. Goddammit!" Frank hit his head against the steering wheel, unsure of what to do with himself.

               Gerard started chewing on his lip, trying not to panic, but feeling himself start to shake all over. He started drumming his fingers against his knees and looked around, his thoughts flying through his head. _'Jesus Christ no, this is bad, this is really, really bad.'_ "M-maybe your mom was down there first and cleaned everything up?" he suggested weakly, knowing that probably didn't happen.

               "No, she never goes in the basement. My dad goes down there to watch sports when my mom gets home, it's like a 'man cave'. He _had_ to have seen it. Fuck, shit. Maybe...maybe he thinks it was all me? Or me and Jamia? Yeah...my mom could vouch for that if she had to. She wouldn't throw me to the dogs like that? Would she?"

               Gerard shook his head and buried his face into his hands. "But he would've seen it _that day_ ," he pointed out miserably. "And who was over that day?"

               "No one... just you. But... but _maybe_ my mom said Jamia was there earlier or... wait, how would she know? She gets home after my dad. _Fuck_. Okay. No, this can't be happening. I don't want this to be the end. I'm not ready," Frank's eyes filled with tears as he began to cry, not bothering to hide his feelings.

               Gerard ran his hands through his hair and stared blankly at his lap, the shock leaving his mind and emotions blank. Then another thought hit him. "You can't go back. We can't."

               "Gerard, we _have_ to go back. We have our families and friends to go back to..."

               "And?"

               "And... we can't just... not go back. That's not an option."

               "Why?" Gerard's voice was blank and drained of all emotion; it was nothing more than a hoarse whisper.

               "Because, we're minors. Your family would look for you and so would mine... maybe. You can't just leave everyone behind," Frank said as he dried some of his tears.

"But I don't want to go back... not if he knows... because I know myself enough that I can't keep back my emotions for too long... and if he tries to separate us..."

               " _If_ he tries to separate us... there's nothing we can do about it. That's just how life is. We'll have to suck it up and move on."

               "No!" Gerard turned to Frank. "I'm _not_ going to give up just like that! We can't let it happen! Not after all we've been through... after all you've done for me... I'd be losing all the hope I ever had."

               Frank stared at his lap, not able to face Gerard. "We could still see each other at school... it wouldn't be that bad. And if you still wanted to, in a few years, we could be together again. It's not the end of the world."

               "Frank, _please_ ," Gerard pleaded, his voice starting to break as a few tears that couldn't be held back fell. "I _can't_ lose you... Not now..."

               "There's nothing I can do," Frank said quietly, shaking his head.

               "Frank," Gerard whispered, his head bowing as he began to cry. _'God this can't be happening... I can't lose him... I won't be able to deal with it.'_

               "Let's just get home and deal with this as it happens, okay? Might as well try to stay happy while we can." Frank turned the car back on and pulled back onto the road.

               "Frank... please... no," Gerard begged, beginning to sob. "I don't want to go back. Not now, at least."

               "Well, where the fuck are we supposed to go, Gerard?! There's nowhere but home."

               "Just... _somewhere_... I don't know... I have no goddamn curfew. When is yours? How long can you stay out?"

               "Just until midnight."

               "Then let's just drive somewhere. Anywhere. I don't fucking care where, as long as it isn't home."

               "I-I don't know my way around that much, Gerard. We'd only end up getting lost," Frank said, wanting to obey Gerard's wishes, but suddenly aware that he simply couldn't.

               "Who the fuck cares if we're lost already?" Gerard replied quietly.

               Frank sighed and shook his head before taking a different exit than the one towards the city. 'Fuck, I have _no_ idea where we're headed.'

               Gerard slumped down in his seat and stared blankly in front of him, his thoughts completely jumbled.

               As they drove, Frank kept an eye out for signs that named places they could go. When nothing came up for a while, he decided to follow the roads to the drive-through park just outside the city. He'd only been there a few times when he was younger, but he knew the general direction it was in. He kept glancing over at Gerard, his heart breaking every time.

               Gerard sat silently, looking at his lap as his thoughts raced. _'I don't know what his dad is like. What if he thought his last boyfriend was just a bad influence? Or maybe he knew his parents and didn't like them? Or he was just in a shitty mood? No... Frank would know him best... and his dad obviously isn't one to like gays... Fuck... this means he'll know Frank isn't straight... God... What if he tries to hurt him? I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if Frank got hurt because of me.'_

               By the time they got to the park, Frank's mind was blank, his emotions dulled. He slowed down as they entered, keeping a careful eye out for animals. "Is... is this okay? I didn't really know where to go."

               Gerard looked up, unaware that they'd actually gotten somewhere. "Huh? Oh... yeah... this is fine," he replied, still stuck in his thoughts.

               Frank nodded and rolled down the windows, letting in a breeze as they drove. Gerard rested his head back on the seat and closed his eyes, feeling the cooling air of the coming dusk brush against him as the car drove along through the quiet park.

               They continued to drive for a while, silent as they traveled along. Frank satisfied his hyper-activeness by looking at all of the scenery, but soon, even that wouldn't work. "Do you want to go home? Or pull over for a while? I gotta get out of this car."

               "I'd rather pull over... I don't want to go back until we have to," Gerard answered, opening his eyes and looking out the window. "Maybe we can pull over by that area. There's a bench on the ledge were we can sit."

               "Okay, sure." Frank pulled over to the tree-covered area before parking the car and getting out. He took in a deep breath as he made his way to the bench, relishing in the clean air.

               Gerard got out and followed behind quietly, watching Frank as they made their way to the bench. _'I can't believe I'm going to lose him... I can't even remember life before him very well. It feels like that was another life... I don't want to go back to that life. I want to stay in this one. With him.'_ Frank sat down and looked back at Gerard with a half-smile, waiting for him expectantly. Gerard forced a smile back, feeling his heart start to split as he looked at Frank's face. 'His beautiful eyes... his adorable smile... everything about him is so perfect... and this'll be the last thing we ever do together...' He quietly sat down next to Frank and gave a small, sad sigh. Frank automatically scooted as close as he could to Gerard, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

               Gerard pushed up as close as he could to Frank and looked up, taking in the scene. In front of them, about three feet away, the ground fell, leaving the forest below visible. A small river ran through it, and past that, hills became higher and higher, looking like mountains covered in trees that expanded across the horizon. Everything was a murky green darkening into black, and above the trees, the skyline was bleeding the sun's dying spectrum, from lavender, rosy pink, pastel orange, and goldenrod, eventually stretching out into mint and melting ice blue, fading into the navy that was starting to form overhead, with a few silver dots that pierced through the sky. Looking at all of this, in Frank's arms, Gerard felt a mix of comfort and loneliness. _'This will be the scene I'll always think of when I remember him.'_

               Frank looked up to the sky and back down to Gerard. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

               Gerard stared for a few moments before leaning his head onto Frank's shoulder. "Yeah," he whispered, feeling tears starting to form in his eyes.

               "Come on, Gee, don't be sad," Frank said as he gently rubbed his hand up and down Gerard's back.

               Gerard fell silent, not able to think of anything to respond to. 'I want to be happy. But knowing that the one who makes me happy is going to be torn from me... I can't be happy... because I know that's going to disappear.' Frank sighed and buried his face into Gerard's chest, blinking back tears as he began to remember all that they've been through. Gerard rested his chin quietly on Frank's head as a few tears began to fall. _'I can't lose him... I want to stop it somehow... but it's impossible.'_ He kissed the top of Frank's head softly and buried his face in his boyfriend's hair. He remembered the first time they hung out, when they went out to eat together... Gerard always liked to think of it as their first date. _'We sat and watched the sky.'_ he remembered. _'They say that things end like they begin... so this must really be... the end.'_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No more sorrow. All those crying days are gone.  
> No more sorrow, now it's gone.  
> Now it's gone.  
> Now it's gone.  
> So, Is this the end for us, my friend?


	23. Some Lie To Save Their Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some lie about who they love  
> Some lie about the truth  
> Some lie to save their lives  
> Some lie about their youth  
> Some lie in the face of death  
> Some lie about their fame  
> Some kneel and lie to God  
> Some lie about their name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Lies" by Elton John

               Frank pulled into Gerard's driveway and stopped the car. He looked over at Gerard and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "Well... we're here."

               Gerard sat in his seat, his gaze fixed on the floor. _'I can't do it.'_

               Frank sighed and got out of the car and walked to Gerard's side. He opened the car door and reached over to unbuckle Gerard's seat belt. "Come on, Gerard, you gotta get inside."

               Gerard gave a small whimper, putting a hand on Frank's before unbuckling the seat belt himself and climbing out. He looked at Frank, straight in the eyes, feeling utterly broken. _'I love him so much... Why does this have to happen?'_ He leaned forward slightly, falling into a tight hug around Frank. Frank held Gerard up and stepped towards the porch, shutting the car door with his elbow as he went. There was a light on in the house, illuminating the otherwise pitch black night. Gerard clung onto Frank tighter, feeling a panic start to rise in his chest as he started to tear up. _'I can't. I'm not ready yet. I **can't**.'_

               Frank hugged Gerard close to him and kissed his cheek. "Gee, I gotta get home... it's past my curfew."

               Gerard shook his head, beginning to cry. "I can't... I can't," he whispered, starting to feel himself shake.

               "Gerard, it's okay, it's not like you'll never see me again."

               Gerard tightened his hold on Frank. "No, I can't," he sobbed. "Please."

               Frank lessened his hold and attempted to step away. "If I don't go now it could make things worse. Gerard, please, I'll see you on Monday... not far away at all."

               Gerard shook his head again and began to cry more, his fingers digging into Frank's back. "No!"

               Frank felt tears begin to form in his eyes. "Gerard, don't make this much harder _please_."

               "I can't," Gerard whimpered. "I can't let this happen."

               "There's no stopping it; I have to go." Frank tried to pull Gerard off of him so he could leave, but he didn't have it in him to pull hard.

               Feeling Frank start to pull away, Gerard only held on tighter, sobbing more. "Please, Frankie... No... I can't! I'm not ready! Please..."

               "Gerard, I-" Frank was cut off by someone opening the front door. Mikey stepped onto the porch with a sad look on his face.

               "Gerard, come on, it's late. Frank has to go."

               Gerard wrapped his arms as tightly as he could manage around Frank, burying his face into his boyfriend's shoulder, sobbing, "No, no," over and over. Frank stood with his arms at his sides, crying and unable to fight Gerard off anymore.

               Mikey sighed heavily and went behind Gerard and began to pry his arms off of Frank. "Gerard, let go..."

               Gerard tried pulling away from Mikey, his sobs practically choking his breaths. "No, no..." he cried, shaking his head. "Please, no."

               Mikey pulled as hard as he could, finally releasing Gerard's grip, but sending him backwards until he hit the side of the house. He held on tightly as Frank hurried to his car.

               "No, please!" Gerard screamed, his voice breaking between his cries. "I'm not ready to lose him!" He tried to struggle from Mikey's grip, but didn't have the energy to break free, so he ended up sinking to his knees, sobbing violently.

               Mikey sat next to Gerard and hugged him tightly as he watched Frank drive away. "Shh, Gerard. Come on, it's not the end of the world."

               Gerard shook his head again as he continued to sob. "No... I can't lose him... I'm not ready. I love him... I love him, Mikey."

               "I know you do... you're not going to lose him. Just give this time; it'll all work out."

               "No... his fucking dad won't let that happen," Gerard choked. "He's gone, Mikey." Gerard gripped his shoulders roughly, digging his nails into them as his cries silenced any more words.

               Mikey sighed and tried his best to comfort his brother. "Do you want to go inside?" Gerard continued to sob, only giving a slight shrug as a response. Mikey got up and helped his brother to his feet. He helped Gerard inside and up to his room. "I think you just need to sleep... it'll all be better when you rest."

               Gerard simply shook his head and curled up in a tight ball, continuing to cry, his thoughts starting to run blank. Mikey covered Gerard with a blanket and stood awkwardly at the side of the bed. "I don't know what to do to help you."

               "I just want him back," Gerard whispered. "I can't lose him."

               "You _won't_. Neither of you will let that happen. You'll find a way."

               "But his dad..."

               "It doesn't matter; there's ways around him."

               "How? He's his _dad_... if he doesn't want me to see him again... he can do whatever he can to make that happen."

               Mikey adjusted his glasses and looked around the dark room. "You can still see him at school and shit, Gerard."

               "It's not the same. Just imagine being separated from someone you love and you can see them only a half hour for five days, less if it's a day off... That's all you have... you can't hang out with them or go out and enjoy life. You're trapped... and once you leave the place where everyone else already hates you... you're alone... utterly alone."

               "I don't know what to say... We just have to wait and see how this all pans out."

               Gerard simply shrugged his head and continued to quietly cry, feeling small and alone. Mikey tried to think of something to say, something to do, _anything_ , but he was at a loss. He patted Gerard's shoulder and stepped out of the room, feeling like the worst brother on the planet.

               "M-Mikey?" Gerard whimpered quietly, praying the door hadn't been shut yet.

               Mikey shuffled back to Gerard's room and peeked in through the doorway. "Yeah?"

               "I-I'm sorry I've put you through all of this," Gerard stuttered through his sobs. "Th-thanks for being here f-for m-me."

               "Well... I know you'd do the same for me."

               Gerard nodded quietly, still sniffling and weeping. "S-still..."

               "Just... get some sleep, okay? Tomorrow we can figure some shit out."

               Gerard whimpered, wanting to protest, but gave in and nodded slightly. Mikey forced a small smile and walked back to his own room.

 

* * *

               Gerard drug his feet into the school building Monday, hoping to maybe meet up with Frank at lunch. When he didn't spot his boyfriend anywhere, his stomach twisted, causing him to not eat his lunch. Instead, his sat balled up in a corner in the courtyard, his mind racing with thoughts. _'Did his dad take him out of school? Did he get hurt? God please tell me he didn't get hurt... He could just be sick... but how often do coincidences like that happen?'_

               When he got home, he tried to text Frank, getting no response, and only increasing his worries. _'He could just be really sick, Gee, calm down.'_

               By Tuesday, Gerard rushed into chemistry and waited for Frank until the bell rang. He swallowed dryly. Another day missed? Maybe he was running late...

               Lunchtime proved no different. He still wasn't there, and Gerard was starting to feel sick. _'What if he's hurt? Why hasn't he showed up or texted back, or...anything?'_

               By the end of the day, Gerard was sitting alone at his house, his mind swimming with thoughts. _'Should I go to his house and check on him? What if it's just his dad there? But what if Frank is just there? Fuck...'_ He sighed, getting up and putting on his coat and scarf before making his way out the door and to Frank's house. He walked for about a half hour until he made it there, and stood outside of it, shaking with a mixture of the cold and fear. Swallowing his pride, he slowly made his way to the door, and rang the doorbell, bracing himself for Frank's dad to answer.

               Frank looked through the peephole to see who was at his house. _'We don't know anyone in town. Who the fuck?'_ When he saw it was Gerard, he quickly opened up the door, but calmed himself as soon as it was completely open. "Hey, Gerard. Wh-what are you doing here?"

               "Frank! Wh-where have you been?!" Gerard gasped, launching himself forward and hugging tightly without second thought. He tried his best to hold back his tears, already feeling overwhelmed with emotion. _'He's okay... thank God he's okay.'_

               Frank's eyes widened and he pushed Gerard off and stepped away. "I've been home. Here. What do you want?"

               Gerard stumbled back a bit and looked at Frank. "Wh... what do you mean, what do I want? You haven't been at school. I was worried."

               "Well, I'm fine, so..."

               Gerard frowned. "Frankie?"

               "What?" Frank snapped.

               Gerard flinched. "Wh-what's wrong? What happened?"

               "Nothing happened. You just come to my house for no reason and it's fucking annoying!"

               Gerard flinched again and looked at Frank, feeling himself tear up. "But... I... I was just... I was worried about you... I was afraid you were hurt or..."

               Frank opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut off by his dad walking into the living room. "Frank? Who's there?"

               "It's just Gerard," Frank said, his voice cracking.

               Gerard jumped and took a few steps back, feeling himself start to shake with fear. _'No, no, no, why is he here? Home early again?'_ He looked at Frank, his eyes clouded with fear and confusion.

               "Well, tell him what you need to then go help your mom with dinner," the older man said before sitting down on the couch, only a few feet away from the door.

               Frank looked at Gerard and stared for a moment. "I... I... uhm..."

               Gerard's eyes darted from Frank, to the living room behind him, and back again, his mouth open but silent. _'What's going on?'_

               Frank closed his eyes and looked at the ground and shuffled his feet. "Gerard, I," he looked back up, right into Gerard's eyes. "I don't want you hanging around me anymore. I have other friends who aren't clingy little faggots like you. I don't want you to talk to me or even look at me ever again. You need to go back home and sit in your room by yourself like you did before I came here. I don't want anything to do with you."

               Gerard stared back at Frank, feeling his heart split down the middle. "Wh... what? Frank, what the _fuck_ are you talking about?" Gerard could feel his stomach twisting as feelings of pain, betrayal, sadness, and anger all clashed within him.

               "I don't know what you think this was. I was just using you until I found better friends, and I did. You're an alcoholic loser who does nothing but bitch and moan about how hard life is and how no one loves him. Well guess what, it's true. I don't give a damn about you. You're nothing to me."

               Gerard bit his lip and clenched his fists, trying to bite back tears. He was about to turn away, when his body decided another action would be better. Before his mind could fathom what he was doing, Gerard lunged forward at Frank, sending a blow to his nose along with it. "You think I'm fucking retarded? Do you really think I'm that fucking s _tupid_ , you bastard?!" he yelled, feeling himself get dizzy with adrenaline as he felt himself lose control of his words. "You're no worse than me with fucking father figures; I've got the cold-blooded snake heart, while you're the fucking prick's little fucking _toy_! You really think I'm going to believe that load of bullshit?! Because if you do, I'll beat the fucking sense back into your thick skull!"

               Frank stumbled to the ground tried to push Gerard off of him. "It isn't bullshit, you asshole! Just because your feelings are hurt doesn't mean you get to do this! Go find someone else to get you off, fucking faggot!" Frank yelled as he kneed Gerard in the stomach.

               Gerard gagged slightly, but slammed his elbow into Frank's rib cage as a counter before grabbing his shoulder with one hand and his clenching his throat with the other, losing all sense of what he was doing. "Yeah right, you little fucking prick! I bet you wouldn't be saying that if the fucking dictator wasn't here! And stop calling me a goddamn faggot; because you're no fucking better, and you put the goddamn moves on _me_ , you little shit!"

               "This has nothing to do with him! Back the fuck off!" Frank felt like he was going to black out. He kept pushing on Gerard's shoulders, but was quickly losing energy. _'Dad, why aren't you helping me?'_

               Gerard kept his grip on Frank's neck enough to keep him there, but loosened it enough to not suffocate him... as much. He lowered his face to Frank's forcing him to look in his eyes. "Then say that to my fucking face," he growled. "Say you don't give a shit. Tell me you don't actually love me. Say, to my goddamn face, with all knowledge that what happens after this will be all on you, that you don't care if I were dead. I'm trusted in my family enough that I can take the keys, go my uncle's house, and get that fucking .45. Tell me. Tell me you don't care if I take that gun. Tell me you don't care if I put it to my head. Tell me, with complete honesty, meaning every word, that if I fucking pull that trigger, and you go to school a week later... when you see my fucking brother torn apart because I'm fucking _dead_ , and your 'friends' all hear that I blew my brains out because you _used_ me... Tell me you don't care then. Use those words to take me down. Go ahead; if you're really a fucking _asshole_ who doesn't give a shit, _prove it_. But be perfectly aware that when it happens... It will be all. Your. Fault. The blood will be on the gun, the floor, the fucking ceiling... and _your_ goddamn hands. And I'll let them get some fucking photographs and send them in the goddamn mail, too, if you'd like. I'll let them splatter it with a bit of my fucking blood, too, and you can hang it on your goddamn wall as a little trophy of how much of a fuckface you are. Go ahead; _do it_."

               Frank swallowed the lump in this throat and closed his eyes. "I don't love you and I don't care what happens to you," he said, tears running down his cheeks.

               Gerard shoved his hand against Frank's throat. "Look at me, you piece of shit!" he spat. "I want you to take in every fucking detail of my fucking face before it's covered in my fucking blood!"

               Frank shook his head let out a choked sob. "Alright, that's enough," Frank's dad said before finally standing up and pulling Gerard off of his son. "Get out," he grumbled.

               Gerard yanked himself from Frank's father's grip and gave him a death glare. "I'll see _you_ in hell, you fucking piece of shit," he spat before walking out, slamming the door behind him to the point that he could hear the wood split a bit, and stormed off. Frank got up and went into his room, letting out a silent cry as he laid on his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few chapters may be very triggering. Just a warning!


	24. Save Me From My Self-Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All these schoolgirls say. "I'm not asking,  
> You're not telling."  
> He's not dead, he only looks that way  
> Out nowhere. Take me out there.  
> Far away and save me from my  
> Self destruction!  
> Hopeless for ya!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Boy Division" by My Chemical Romance

               Gerard trudged into school, glaring at the floor as he made his way to class. When he accidentally bumped into someone and they shot him a "Watch it, loser!" He turned around and snarled "Shut the _fuck_ up before I cut your goddamn head off!" With people staring wide-eyed at him in the halls, Gerard finally made it to his class before throwing his stuff down and approaching one of the more popular students while he was sitting and studying.

               "What do you want--"

               Gerard put his hand in the middle of the other student's notebook and brought his face up to the others', the booze rolling off his breath. "Why the fuck does _anyone_ ever come up to you?" he growled quietly. "I have $30. Right now."

               The younger male stared Gerard straight in the eyes for a moment before nodding. "Lunch, okay? Meet me by the south exit in the courtyard. Bring the cash."

               Gerard nodded and made his way back to his seat, staring at his desk while waiting for class to start.

 

* * *

               Frank sat on the steps in the courtyard, surrounded by random kids he hardly knew as Jamia sat on his lap, her arms around his neck. He looked around, bored out of his mind and spotted Gerard talking to the well-known school beer smuggler. _'What the fuck is he doing?'_

               "Look, York needs to bring his shit by _next week_ , or he won't get shit," Gerard growled.

               "Fine, fine!" Todd Peterson -- the student Gerard faced earlier -- huffed. "But where's _my_ money?"

               Gerard rolled his eyes. "I've got the money for all you fuckers, but I want to know you have your shit with you."

               "Do you think we carry it in our goddamn pockets?" the teenager next to him, Derek Thompson snapped.

               "Yes, I'm that goddamn dull," Gerard shot back sarcastically. "I have a pretty good idea it's in your goddamn cars. Care to show me? _Then_ I'll pay."

               The last of the three -- short and blonde with the name Mark Kane -- gave an exasperated sigh. "Jesus fucking C _hrist_ , Way," he grumbled. "You're fucking _stubborn_." He turned and motioned the others to follow. "Come on, let's get to the goddamn parking lot." Gerard and the others nodded and followed. "That's a shitload of snow, man," Kane mumbled.

               "Please. It won't last me a goddamn week." Gerard huffed. The others gave him odd looks.

               "Really? I doubt that," Peterson said.

               "I'll prove it if ya fuckin' want me to," Gerard answered in a mumble.

               Thompson grinned. "I'd actually like to see that," he laughed. The others mumbled and nodded in agreement.

               "Well, my parents don't get home until late and my brother is always gone with his friends," Gerard replied. "Drive over to my house and we'll fucking party until we're dead!"

               "You're not half bad, Way," Kane acknowledged. Gerard gave an empty smile as he continued to follow the others.

               "Jamia, I'll be right back," Frank said as he eased the girl off his lap and onto the step. Frank got up and followed Gerard and the others, not sure exactly what he was doing.

               As they started to make their way into the parking lot, Kane spotted Frank tailing them. "Hey! What da fuck do _you_ want, outsida?" he snapped, his accent getting the best of him. The others turned around and stared at Frank -- except Gerard, who gave him a death glare.

               "Beat it, prick," Thompson growled, taking a step towards Frank.

               "Hey, back off. I was just coming to see what you guys were doing over here," Frank said, squaring his shoulders.

               "Oh? Are you sure you weren't trying to give a few more verbal blows to your toy?" Peterson shot back. Gerard continued to glare at Frank, his eyes cold.

               "Yeah, you t'ink we didn't as' why he was so int'rested in bisd'ness with us?" Kane added. "How'sa 'bout you crawl back to your little pack an' leave Gee da fuck alone?" Thompson shot Frank a threatening glare, not backing down.

               "I'm not here to say anything to Gerard," Frank said, feeling guilty.

               Thompson snorted. "You're not _now_ , Iero," he growled, cracking his knuckles.

               "Go and cry to daddy if it's that big of a problem," Kane sneered.

               "Yeah, fucking _leave_ already, douche," Peterson spat. "We have business to attend to and you're just slowing us down. Fuck off."

               "You heard them. _Fuck off_ ," Gerard hissed. He continued to glare icily at Frank, his eyes not faltering once.

               Frank went to say something else, but decided against it. Instead, he glared right back at Gerard for a moment before turning on his heel and heading back to the steps.

               "Good riddance, you fucker," Thompson growled before turning, along with the others, and continuing towards the cars.

 

* * *

               Frank arrived at school the next day early, as usual, and made his way to chemistry. As he walked down the halls, he tried not to notice people giving him sneering looks and making nasty comments. He hurried into the lab and sat down in his usual spot before taking out his notebook and scribbling in it.

               Gerard staggered into the classroom and almost fell, getting help back up from another student, David York. "Bro, you alright?" he asked.

               Gerard looked up at him, looking spaced and dazed out of his mind. "I'm more fucking better than a goddamn _prince_ right now," he answered. He blinked a few times. "Does my breath smell like alcohol?"

               York crinkled his nose and nodded, handing Gerard two pieces of gum. "Better get that smell off before a teacher notices."

               "Ha! I'm so stealthy, goddamn ninjas don't fuckin' know shit on me," Gerard responded, taking the gum and popping it in his mouth.

               York blinked. "My lab partner isn't here today... maybe you should sit with me?" He looked over and shot Frank a quick glare. "I've gotta keep your damn mouth shut, anyways, or else Mrs. Kelly will noticed something." Gerard simply shrugged and followed York to the back off the classroom, tripping on nothing a few times.

               Frank stared at Gerard, open mouthed. _'What the fuck is wrong with him? He looks like shit.'_

               Gerard slumped down in his seat and started to gag slightly. York patted his back softly -- if he was even a bit harder, he would probably break the thinner teen's back. Gerard coughed a few times before hacking up phlegm and spitting it in a nearby sink. "Jesus _Christ_ , Way, what the fuck happened with you last night?"

               "I thooooought Peterson and the othersssss told you," Gerard slurred.

               "Yeah, but I think they were exaggerating just a bit--"

               "No, man. No. Those fuckers are dead _serious_ , okay? Dead. Ser-i-OSO."

               Frank sighed and turned back around, towards the front of the classroom, muttering under his breath. Gerard laid his head down on the table and began to breathe heavily. "Tell me later, man," York whispered. "Teacher approaching."

               Mrs. Kelly walked into the classroom, all smiles as usual. "Good morning, class." She got out their latest test and walked around the class, handing everyone's graded paper back to them. "Gerard, head up please, and come see me after class," she said quietly as he set Gerard's test on the table.

               "Shit," Gerard said under his breath.

               "Dude, why the fuck?"

               "I don't know, York. I'll just hafta see. Does my breath still smell like booze?"

               "No, but you're gonna have to walk like you're not half dead."

               "I know, I know. Ugh."

               "Alright, alright. Everyone quiet down," Mrs. Kelly said as she began her lesson. She tried not to wonder why Frank was sitting alone, but left it up to normal teenage drama. Once class ended, Frank grabbed his books and left the classroom, practically running out. "Gerard, I still need to see you," the older woman reminded as the rest of the class filed out.

               "I know, I know," Gerard mumbled, lifting himself up from his seat and waiting for the rest of the class to get out. York was the last to leave, and he stood outside the door -- out of sight -- and waited for Gerard. Gerard made his way out to Mrs. Kelly's desk and stood as straight as he could manage. "You needed me, Mrs. Kelly?"

               "Yes, I did," she said as she sat at her desk. "I've noticed your grades are... slipping. Actually, to be perfectly honest, you're now failing my class. You sleep through my lectures and don't turn your work in. Is there anything going on? Anything you need help managing?"

               Gerard shook his head, stumbling a bit when he did so. "N-no... just... home stuff. And I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately. Insomnia issues. Parent troubles. Just... the usual kind of stuff."

               "If you say so," Mrs. Kelly said, not believing a word of what she was being told. "If you need help, please don't hesitate to ask."

               Gerard nodded a little, trying not to shake his head too much. "I'll be alright, Mrs. Kelly. Oh, also, can I move to sit next to York? He saw my grades and said he'd help me study."

               "Well, sure, I guess Katie won't mind sitting next to Frank. You can go, have a nice day and take care, alright?"

               Gerard nodded quietly before making his way to the classroom and mumbling something to York before they walked off to their next classes.

 

* * *

              Frank sat by the courtyard fountain with Jamia. She was huddled up close to Frank for warmth, chatting away as he picked at his food, uninterested. Gerard sat at a table with a bunch of guys and a few girls, all leaned in a talking quietly with each other. There, Peterson, Thompson, Kane, and York -- the beer smuggler, speed shooter, crack dealer, and weed seller of the school -- along with a few others who dealt stuff from prescription medication to booze to meth, and heroine all sat. They all seemed to be engulfed in their own conversation, first looking amused and excited, but their expressions soon changed to disgust.

               Frank shot a look in Gerard's direction, feeling a mixture of jealousy and anger. He would've stared longer but Jamia snapped her fingers in front of him, trying to get his attention. Frank apologized and did his best to listen to what the young girl was saying.

               As they continued their conversation, one of the girls yelled, "Oh my _God_ , Gee, we should party at your place!"

               Gerard laughed and responded with something inaudible for anyone other than the people at the table, who responded with a few hoots and hollers.

               "Fuck, Way, why didn't you ever show us how fucking cool you are?" Peterson laughed, patting the other teen's shoulder. Gerard simply shrugged and smiled, though it was obviously forced.

               Frank turned at the sudden burst of noise from the table. _'Wonder what the fuck they're going on about. Probably got a new shipment of coke,'_ he thought bitterly.

               "Frank? Are you going to answer me?"

               "Huh?" Frank asked, completely lost.

               Jamia sighed and moved her hand up Frank's thigh. "I was wondering if you'd go to prom with me."

               Frank blinked a few times and nodded. "Sure, I'd love to," he said, causing the girl to squeal and throw herself onto Frank, catching him in a kiss.

               A few of the people at Gerard's table looked over and glared at Frank. The two girls over with the drug kids walked over and sat on either side of Gerard, one moving over and sitting on his lap, blocking Frank from his view, while the other leaned over and nuzzled him. Both seemed to be cooing and trying to 'comfort' him. "Jesus, Way, first you're a champion of the stardust, and now you're becoming a fucking _stud_!" Kane laughed.

               When Jamia calmed down and pulled away, Frank did nothing but smile awkwardly. _'Jesus, it feels so wrong.'_ Frank looked over and saw the two girls all over Gerard and physically twitched.

               The one girl sitting to Gerard's side leaned over and kissed Gerard's cheek, while the other one kissed his lips. Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and gave an awkward smile, not very comforted. _'How long until they realize I'm gay?'_

               Frank whispered something in Jamia's ear and she nodded before standing up. Frank got up and grabbed the girl's hand and led her to the parking lot, stalking right past Gerard's table. Thompson looked over with a glare and shoved Frank from behind. " _Whoops_ , my hand slipped," he sneered. The others at the table laughed... except Gerard. He muttered something under his breath, causing the others to bring their attention back to him.

               "Yeah fucking right," Frank spat before squaring his shoulders and walking to his car.

               A few of the guys at the table watched Frank walk off and dismissed themselves, following behind at a far enough distance not to be noticed. Gerard took no note for a few moments, but then got nervous. "Guys, where did Whiteston and Dwian and Falkner go?"

               "Uh... I think they tailed that Iero asshole," York answered.

               Gerard's eyes grew wide. "Guys, I gotta go get them. I'll be right back." The girls got off of Gerard as he got up and walked quickly in the same direction. _'Fuck, what are those guys doing?!'_

               Frank opened the door for Jamia so she could climb in. Once she was settled, Frank went to his side and opened the door before dropping his keys. "Goddammit," he said as he leaned down to pick them up.

               Jack Whiteston got behind Frank and shove him into the car while his was bent over, Freddy Dwian and Kyle Falkner following behind and snickering. "Hey _short stuff_ , drop the keys to your piece of shit car?" Falkner sneered.

               "Whatcha gonna do, go run away with your new little _girlfriend_?" Dwian taunted.

               "She's not my fucking girlfriend, asshole!" Frank held onto the car and pushed himself up. "What's your deal? I didn't do _anything_ to you!"

               Whiteston shoved Frank into the car again and kicked his shin. "You didn't have to do anything to _us_ ," he growled. "Assholes like you _deserve_ this shit."

               Dwian shoved at Frank's side. "Yeah, you twat. You should get a bit of blood on your face so you can cry to daddy," he snickered.

               "Make him proud by bringing home another person to use?" Falkner spat, a twisted smirk on his face. "Aww, isn't that sweet? What a little _daddy's boy_."

               Frank turned to Jamia and told her to go back to the school. She hesitated a moment before quickly getting out of the car and sprinting to her friends. "Look guys, just leave me alone. This has nothing to do with you!"

               "Aww, did we ruin your little plans?" Falkner cooed smugly.

"Looks like you'll have to hold off ruining someone's life for a few more hours," Whiteston sneered.

               "Guys! What the fuck?!" The three teens turned their head to see Gerard approaching. "No, no, no, guys, back the fuck away from him, okay?" he huffed, standing a few feet away. "Just... leave him alone."

               The three exchanged looks."But, Gee--" Dwian was cut off by a wave of Gerard's hand.

               "No guys, just _stop_. Leave him alone."

               Frank looked Gerard, to the guys in front of him, and back, unsure of what to do or say. Dwian, Falkner, and Whiteston stared at Gerard a few moments longer before mumbling and walking back to the school. Gerard watched them go. _'This isn't what I wanted. I don't want them trying to fucking kill Frank. I don't even want them saying anything to him.'_ Frank sighed and turned to get in his car. Gerard wanted to say something, but he held his words back with a mix of feelings. _'Why should I fucking care about him? He doesn't care about me. And anyways, what do I say? Oh hey, sorry about that! I didn't know they would try to beat the living shit out of you!'_ He gave a ragged sigh and turned, starting to make his way back to the school building.

               "Hey, Gerard? Uh...thanks," Frank shouted before getting into his car and driving off.

               Gerard bit down on his lip, feeling a twinge of pain. _'Like you fucking mean that,'_ his thoughts spat as he made his way back to the lunch table and sat down miserably.

 

* * *

               The next day, Frank stood against the school, cigarette in hand, his hood up. As usual, the school was not yet open and he was freezing... and lonely. A few kids started making their way to the school, stopping right in front of the doors.

               "Yeah, the Ways are seriously letting people go to their place for a _party_." one whispered.

               "Their place? Don't they, like... live in a _mansion_?" another pitched in.

               "Yeah, I hear it's _huge_. I don't understand why they're letting anyone in there, I bet that place is expensive. How are they managing it?" a third added.

               "I think their parents are visiting a relative or something?" the first one suggested. "And, I mean... it's the older one throwing the party. The younger one... he just agreed I guess?"

               Frank snuffed out his cigarette and made it closer to the doors. _'Gerard throwing a party? Yeah fucking right.'_

               "When is it?" the third kid asked.

               "This weekend," the first one answered. "They said don't show up if you don't wanna deal with any drugs, because it's going to be _littered_ with them."

               "Well, yeah, he became friends with the best dealers, no shit there's gonna be drugs," the second kid replied.

               Frank shook his head, suddenly feeling very anxious. _'Guess I have plans this weekend,'_ he thought to himself.

               "Well, I don't think I wanna go... I dunno about you guys, but I've dealt with a few people on crack, and they're fucking _nuts_ ," the third kid mumbled.

               "Well, I'm going," the first kid confirmed. "Not for the drugs, but the party, and hey, when's the next time you'll get to party at a mansion?"

               The three continued their conversation quietly as the doors opened, making sure to cover up the drugs and alcohol in conversation. Frank waited until the group made their way inside before going in himself. The rest of the day went by painfully slow. _'Can it just be the weekend already?'_ He wasn't sure why he wanted to go... but he felt he _had_ to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review please. Sorry for the long wait. I've been so busy and I just...got so stressed. I needed a break.


	25. Party Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ain't nobody gonna take my life!  
> Ain't nobody gonna get the best of me!  
> Ain't a preacher gonna save me now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Party Poison" by My Chemical Romance

**Chapter 24-Party Poison**

               The main group -- Peterson, Whiteston, Kane, Thompson, Dwian, and Falkner, along with the two girls, Stacey Mauller and Ellie Barrington -- had arrived early enough to set everything out, Gerard handing them the cash to pay for it all.

               "Why have it be a party, though?" Peterson asked.

               "Because if I'm gonna get fucked up, why not let others get fucked up?" Gerard replied shortly, not in the mood to explain that he really just wanted to get high as hell and lost in a crowd, and try to forget things again. He hated how his body shook with the cravings, practically ruling him, and he knew it was killing him slowly, but he no longer cared. _'I've lost everything, anyways. Why does it even fucking matter if I overdose and die? At least I'll be happy -- even if it's a chemical-induced state.'_

               Once everything was set up, the guests started to arrive, all looking very shaky and determined. At least two dozen people were there when Frank arrived. He had cut and dyed his hair, leaving the sides of his head blonde and a long black fringe in the middle. He had also put his nose piercing back in for the first time in months and applied some eyeliner. He knew he looked ridiculous, but when he was stressed, he felt change was needed, and he was more stressed than he's ever been. Plus, he secretly hoped Gerard would be too fucked up to notice him. He slipped in through the back, hoping to go unnoticed until later. _'Everyone here is so tweaked already...'_ He grabbed a beer and leaned against a wall, trying to somewhat blend in to the background.

               At one point, Dwian stumbled into Frank, and after regaining his balance, only muttered a small, "Sorry man," so out of it that he didn't even realize who Frank was. A few people were shooting heroine while most sat and either smoked blunts or drank from the selection of booze, liquor, beer, and wine. Gerard fumbled over and grabbed a bottle of Jack, screwing off the top and chugging down about half of it before stopping to take a breath.

               Frank watched Gerard down the alcohol and cringed, remembering how he got when he was drunk. _'I didn't really come to watch him fuck around with other people... or did I? Why the fuck am I even here?'_ He sighed and looked back out at the party, seeing how fucked up everyone was, secretly glad no one had approached him yet.

               Of course, as the thought came to mind, Mauller stumbled over behind Frank and gave him a small shove. "Dude, the _fuck_ are you doing, just standing there?" she staggered. "Do a fucking line or something, for the love of Jesus Christ."

               Meanwhile, Gerard took down the rest of the Jack and took a shot of vodka to go with it before stumbling off towards Kane.

               "I uh... I don't know, man..."

               Mauller gave Frank another shove, stumbling over after doing such. "Come _on_. You really think a thing of beer is gonna fucking cut it? If you didn't come here to get messed up, then why _are_ you here?"

               Gerard nudged Kane, who nodded and pulled out a bag of crack, muttering something about how Gerard was going to turn as white as the shit if he kept it up.

               "I just needed something to do," Frank mumbled.

               "Then fucking _do_ something, man," was all Mauller said before staggering off and grabbing a swig of some random guy's drink.

               Frank sighed and looked around for Gerard. Instead, he saw Mikey and ducked off into the basement, not wanting to hear what the younger brother might say to him. Once he stumbled into the dark room, he saw a few groups of people sitting off in different corners, each doing a separate drug. Frank made his way to a few kids he recognized from school and sat down in their circle. Immediately, he was handed a mirror with a line of coke on it. He stared down at the drug, debating his next move.

               A second later, he leaned down and snorted the white powder, almost instantly feeling a headache. _'Oh, fuck. That was dumb, wasn't it?'_

               From upstairs, Gerard had already done a few lines and was shaking from the amount of excess energy it had shot in him. "I thought there were more fucking people here, man," he mumbled to Kane.

               "Most of them went downstairs," Kane mumbled. "I think Falkner headed in that direction. God knows what they're doing down."

               "Guess I should go see, huh?" Gerard replied, not even waiting for an answer as he made his way to the basement door and down the stairs, holding on tightly to the railing.

               Frank leaned back until he hit the floor, feeling the drug work its way from his nasal cavity to the rest of his body. His head was throbbing and his throat was burning. _'What the fuck? Is this how it's supposed to feel?'_

               Gerard stumbled around a bit, trying to find anyone he could recognize, when he finally found Falkner, like Kane had said. He stumbled over to the male, who seemed to have taken a hit of ecstasy, and was pretty out of it. Gerard grabbed Falkner's shoulders as support, feeling his knees trying to give in, while Falkner grabbed Gerard by the sides to try and steady him. Before either one could think, Gerard pushed himself forward and roughly kissed the other junior, his mind blurry and unaware of what he was doing.

               Frank heard a bunch of kids whooping and hollering so he sat up, looking for the source of the excitement. He turned completely around and saw Gerard kissing another guy. His heart broke; he felt angry, upset, and bitter. _'Why is he throwing himself all over that guy?! What an inconsiderate asshole!'_ Frank was already feeling the effects of the drugs, making him forget Gerard didn't even know he was there, let alone that they weren't exactly on speaking terms.

               Gerard kissed Falkner a bit longer before the other teen gently pushed him away and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Slow down there, buddy, I don't roll that way," Falkner mumbled.

               "S-sorry, I just get carried away," Gerard replied in between a few giggles, his head so light he couldn't even think.

               Frank stood up, almost falling to the ground as he did so, and stomped past Gerard, side-swiping his shoulder as he went. He hurried back up the stairs and into the main living room. Gerard stumbled back a bit, and a few people eyed Frank as he made his way out of the basement. "What the fuck was wrong with him?" someone mumbled.

               "Guess he wishes _he_ was getting some action, huh?" another responded with a laugh.

               "I guess I better go see," Gerard answered to them, climbing up the stairs, unaware of who he was tracking.

               Frank tripped over a group of beer bottles on the floor and fell back onto the couch. Only a few other people were in the room and they were all either passed out or groping someone else. He sighed and closed his eyes, wishing he hadn't come at all.

               Gerard finally made his way over to Frank -- though he still couldn't tell it was him -- and looked down at him. "Hey, are you even _awake_?"

               Frank's eyes popped open, surprised he was being spoken to. "Yeah, man, I'm awake..."

               "Why did you storm off so quickly, dude? You just _left_."

               "Does it fucking matter? I just wanted to get away."

               "Whoa, _whoa_ , chill the fuck _out_ , man," Gerard eased, so tweaked that he still couldn't recognize Frank. He leaned over Frank, getting so close that their lips practically touched. "You seem kind of... _tense_..."

               Frank took a deep breath and avoided looking at Gerard's eyes. "I'm just not used to all of this..."

               Gerard leaned in a bit closer, brushing his lips up against Frank's. "Not used to... what?"

               Frank felt his breath hitch as his heart pounded wildly in his chest. He wanted to blame it on the coke, but he wasn't so sure that was all that was causing this. "Just...this kind of party I guess."

               Gerard leaned in just close enough to lightly press his lips against Frank's for a few seconds, before pulling away slightly. "Well, maybe I can help you get used to it," he whispered.

               "Hmm? How?" Frank could feel himself slipping away, the drug now taking on its full effects. He felt like he wanted to get up and run a marathon, and sleep forever all at the same time.

               "Here... follow me," Gerard whispered, getting up and sliding his hand down Frank's side as he did so. He stood and looked down at Frank, his blurry mind trying to figure out why the face was familiar.

               Frank held onto Gerard's arm so he wouldn't fall down. "Where we goin?" he slurred.

               "You'll see," Gerard whispered as he started to make his way up the stairs. Frank followed Gerard, staring at his feet the whole time so he wouldn’t fall.

               When they finally made it to the top of the stairs, Gerard led Frank to his room before shutting and locking the door behind him. Frank leaned against the door and looked around, trying to figure out where he was. He'd completely forgotten most of the things he knew.

               Before Frank could react, Gerard pushed him up against the door and pushed his lips against the younger teen's, immediately snaking his tongue into the others' mouth in a rough kiss. Frank hesitated a moment before giving in and holding onto Gerard's hips as he kissed back. Gerard pressed on hand on Frank's chest, while the other pinned Frank's shoulder to the door, kissing him deeper as he started to rub up against him. Frank let out a quiet moan and gripped Gerard's hips tighter, starting to feel himself harden from all the contact. Gerard took his hand from Frank's chest and wrapped it around his waist, while the hand on Frank's shoulder snaked behind him and pressed against his back. Gerard pulled Frank closer to him, his kiss becoming more and more rough. Frank kissed back messily as he moved his hands to thread his fingers through Gerard's hair.

               As Gerard continued to kiss Frank, he slowly started walking backwards, towards the bed, being careful not to make either of them stumble. Frank bit Gerard's bottom lip before sucking on it gently.

               Gerard smirked and let Frank go at it for a few moments before suddenly spinning around and pushing Frank forcefully onto the bed, climbing on top of him and pinning him down. Frank stared up at Gerard, surprised at his forcefulness. Gerard immediately straddled Frank and began to suck on the sensitive part of his neck, pushing the younger male's shirt up. Frank tilted his head to the side, exposing more of his neck as his hips lifted up, searching for some kind of friction. Gerard smirked at the submissive act and bit down on Frank's neck as he began to grind up against him heavily, running his hands up against Frank's exposed sides. Frank began to breathe heavily as he grabbed onto Gerard's shoulders.

               Gerard kissed down Frank's neck before licking up it and tracing his jaw with his tongue, pushing his hips harder against Frank's. He began to nibble on Frank's ear. "You're a fucking _cutie_ , you know that?" he whispered. "Makes me wanna fuck you," Gerard said, believing his words would be Frank's undoing.

               Frank closed his eyes and made a needy sound in the back of his throat. Gerard smirked and sat up, pulling off Frank's shirt before taking off his own. He kissed down the others' chest slowly, then back up again. He laid his body on top of Frank's as he started kissing Frank's neck again, continuing to grind against him. Frank's hands traveled downwards until he reached Gerard's ass, his hands cupping it and forcing the older teen's hips down on his own, needing more pressure. Gerard began to grind harder, making a sexual-sounding growl as Frank's hand grabbed around him. He grabbed Frank's shoulders and hung onto them as he continued to roll his hips up against Frank's, biting down roughly on his neck a few times before whispering in his ear, "You're really wanting this, aren't you?"

               "Yes. Oh, God, yes," Frank whined, now painfully hard.

               Gerard gave a smirk and pushed Frank's hips down, lifting his own up and beginning to undo his pants. Frank reached down and fumbled with his own button and zipper. Gerard pushed down his own pants and boxers and finally got them off, and then reached over into his nightstand drawer, searching for something while he waited for Frank to get his pants off. Once Frank finally got his pants undone, he kicked off his shoes before pushing down his pants, revealing he wasn't wearing any underwear. He kicked his clothes off the bed and waited for Gerard.

               Gerard finally pulled out a bottle of lube, closing the drawer and putting some in his hand before setting the rest on the nightstand and stroking himself a few times, leaning down and kissing Frank's neck again.

               Frank squirmed underneath Gerard. "Please. Just do it," he begged.

               Gerard smirked. "You're impatient," he teased, purposely hesitating a moment before he began to push slowly into Frank. Frank's mouth fell open as he screwed his eyes shut, pain shooting up and down his spine. Gerard stopped and hesitated a moment. "Are you alright?" he whispered. "Do you want me to go on, or...?"

               Frank bit his lip and nodded, bracing himself. Gerard bit down on his lip and continued to push deeper into Frank, feeling a low groan rise from his throat. Frank reached out and gripped the sheets. "Go as far as you can," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. Gerard leaned over and kissed down Frank's chest as he pushed even deeper, starting to pant as he went. Frank's back arched as he felt Gerard fill him. "Holy shit," he moaned, his voice raspy and ragged.

               Gerard bit his lip again and pushed in as deep as he could manage before he started to thrust slowly. Frank stayed still as he adjusted. Once he felt everything was going to be fine, Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard's shoulders for leverage. Gerard pushed his hips back and forth as he continued to slowly thrust into Frank, running his hands down Frank's sides and holding his hips.

               "C-can you go faster?" Frank asked, the drugs making him feel the need to pick up the pace.

               Gerard smirked, licking his lips as he began to thrust faster, biting down on his lip as he started to breath heavily. "Fuck, you feel so _good_. Jesus _Christ_."

               Frank closed his eyes and dug his nails into Gerard's shoulders as he moaned loudly. Gerard licked his lips as he reached down and began to stroke Frank in time with his thrusts, which slowly began to increase in speed and roughness as he continued. "Oh, fuck," Frank moaned, his breathing broken and unsteady.

               Gerard began to thrust faster, trying to hit Frank's prostate as he continued, rubbing the head of Frank's cock as he stroked him more. Frank's head fell and his back arched when Gerard finally hit the right spot. His entire body twitched from the pleasure rolling through him. "Jesus Christ! Right there... keep going..."

               Gerard moaned and smirked, thrusting faster and harder into the same spot, over and over. He leaned over and kissed down Frank's neck as he kept going. Frank groaned, feeling himself getting close. "Fuck, I'm not gonna last long..." He wanted to say it was the drugs enhancing everything, but there was no way he'd be able to keep this up much longer.

               Gerard continued to thrust faster, feeling his hips begin to tighten, causing him to let out a loud, low, growly moan. "Then fucking release," he whispered into Frank's ear. " _Do it_." He then bit down roughly on Frank's neck, digging his teeth into the skin.

               Frank let out the loudest moan he could muster, his entire body clenching around Gerard as he came long and hard. Gerard bit down on his lip, his thrusts becoming rougher and more uncontrolled. He pushed his body down against Frank's, clenching onto his sides, letting out a moan that sounded more like a mix of a growl and a scream as he came inside Frank. Frank let his arms fall to his sides as he let out a shaky breath. Gerard gave a few more thrusts before pulling out of Frank and rolling over onto the bed, his head hitting the pillow as he closed his eyes, panting roughly as he felt his heart pounding inside his chest.

               Frank let his breathing return to normal before he looked over at Gerard, an odd feeling swarming in the pit of his stomach. Gerard's pants finally steadied as he felt his body begin to ache with tire, opening his eyes slightly to stare at the ceiling as his mind slowly began to blank. Frank sat up and began to gather his clothes, stumbling clumsily in the dark. Gerard lifted his head slightly, but the energy was quickly draining from his body. He gave a slight moan before turning to his side and shutting his eyes and passing out. Frank managed to get his pants and shirt on before falling back onto the bed, unable to stand up any longer. He struggled to keep his eyes open before finally giving up and letting the darkness take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh, sorry for such a long wait :/ As you know, things got very very rocky in the fandom and I needed time before continuing with this chapter...But it won't have delays like this again I'm sorry.  
> I really liked this chapter....big moment for Frank/Gerard with the change in who tops and all that. I don't know, it seemed big to me. I know it was short but I'm gonna update again this weekend hopefully.  
> As always, please review!


	26. You'll Never Fight Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These are their hearts but their hearts don’t beat like ours.  
> They burn ‘cause they are all afraid.  
> For every one of us, there’s an army of them.  
> But you’ll never fight alone.  
> \---  
> These are the words, but the words aren’t coming out.  
> They burn ‘cause they are hard to say.  
> For every failing sun, there’s a morning after.  
> Though I’m empty when you go,  
> I just wanted you to know;
> 
> That the world is ugly;  
> But you’re beautiful to me!  
> Are you thinking of me  
> Like I’m thinking of you?  
> I would say I’m sorry, though,  
> Though I really need to go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "The World Is Ugly" by My Chemical Romance

               Gerard shifted and slowly opened his eyes, his head spinning. _'Fuck, what happened last night?'_ He blinked as few more times, his vision starting to clear until his could recognize someone sleeping beside him. His eyes widened slightly in shock and confusion. "The fuck? Jesus fucking Christ, what did I _do_ yesterday?" he grumbled, raising himself up slightly and rubbing his head. _'Who the fuck?'_

               Frank turned over, now facing Gerard as he mumbled in his sleep. Gerard looked up and blinked a few times, starting to feel a slight wave of panic hit him. "Who the fuck..." He pushed Frank's shoulder, still not recognizing him fully. _'Fuck. Why the fuck does this kid look familiar? His face... where have I seen his face?'_ He shoved Frank's shoulder again. "Hey. Get _up_ , damn it."

               Frank groaned and swatted Gerard's hand away. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked until Gerard came into focus. _'Oh shit,'_ he thought as he sat up and scooted away frantically.

               Gerard's eyes widened when he saw Frank's. " _Frank_?" He pulled himself away and stared back at Frank, his eyes igniting with expressions of shock and anger. "What the _fuck_?"

               Frank stumbled off the bed and stood up, his hands wrapping around himself protectively. "I... I-uhm..."

               Gerard pulled the sheets up to cover his exposed body as he felt anger surge through him. "No, really, Frank, what the fuck?! How the fuck do you explain _this_?"

               "I don't know! I don't remember much..."

               "Oh, _really_?" Gerard snapped. "You don't fucking _remember_? Bullshit! I want a fucking explanation of how I ended up waking up _naked_ next to a _traitor_ who doesn't give a fuck about this 'faggot'!"

               "You... got fucked up last night and came on to me," Frank whispered.

               Gerard snorted. "Oh, _please_. Why the _fuck_ were you even _here_ in the first place? And do you not have the fucking strength to push back or walk away, asshole?"

               "I just wanted to come... I was curious as to what was going on..."

               "Do you suddenly feel fucking _welcome_ here? Like I wouldn't give a shit if the guy who fucking _used_ me showed up while I was trying to fucking _forget_ him?" Gerard snarled, fighting back tears. "Well do you like it? Did you like what you saw? Because that's my daily life thanks to _you_ , prick!"

               "I knew I wouldn't be welcome... that's why I changed my appearance. And no... I didn't like it at all," Frank said, his eyes focused on the ground.

               "Just because you _look_ different, doesn't mean you're a different fucking person! And yeah, I didn't think you'd like it! Too fucking bad, though, because that's my fucking life now!" Gerard felt himself shaking, his head swimming with anger, confusion, and hurt.

               "I don't like seeing you going downhill like this... you're going to end up dead."

               "Like you fucking care," Gerard growled, trying to keep his voice from becoming a whimper as it shook slightly. "I'd rather be dead right now."

               "I do care or I wouldn't have come!"

               "You fucking liar," Gerard mumbled before dropping his head, squeezing his eyes shut in vain of trying to keep back tears, feeling a few drop down onto the covers.

               "I'm not lying... Why else would I have come? Just to get high and have sex with you?"

               "Basically! Because that's what fucking happened!"

               "I didn't fucking plan on this to happen!" Frank yelled.

               Gerard fell silent, feeling an odd sting hit him. "Then what did you think would happen?"

               "I don't know," Frank shrugged.

               "Then why the _fuck_ did you come?"

               "I don't know."

               Gerard fell silent again, not able to think of anything else to say as he stared down at the sheets.

               "I... I'll just go then," Frank whispered as he put his shoes on.

               "Just take what you want and leave. Is that how you always are?"

               "No! I just know when I'm not wanted."

               "What isn't wanted isn't you. I want you. But I want the _old_ you. Before you became a heartless prick."

               "I didn't _become_ anything. I just pretend to be what I have to," Frank said before shaking his head and walking out of the bedroom.

               "Did I _say_ you could leave?" Gerard snapped before crawling out of bed and gathering his clothes, stumbling slightly as he pulled on his boxers and began putting on his pants. Frank sat on the stairs, still not sturdy enough to trust himself to walk down them. He sighed and leaned his head against the wall. Gerard got his pants on the rest of the way and threw on his shirt before staggering out of his room. " _Excuse_ me? I didn't fucking say you could walk out. I still haven't gotten a fucking explanation."

               "What the fuck do you want me to say?!"

               "Maybe fucking _explain_ what the hell you meant before you walked out?!"

               "I thought it was pretty self-explanatory," Frank mumbled, staring at his lap.

               "Not really," Gerard growled. "In case it's not obvious, I got pretty fucked up last night. A vague statement isn't an explanation for me."

               "I do what I have to, Gerard. I do whatever it takes to keep the peace in my house."

               "Why? You have your own fucking life. If he wants to try and ruin it, _push back_."

               Frank shook his head and shifted uncomfortably. "I can't. He's my dad. I'm not going to fight against him."

               "Why not? It doesn't matter if he's your goddamn dad. If he was beating the shit out of you every day, would you fucking let him?"

               "That's what I do when he gets pissed off enough. If I push back, he keeps going until I agree to obey him."

               "Then don't fucking obey. Have you ever tried to just keep fighting back? Have you ever thought about just saying 'no' and ignoring whatever the fuck he says?"

               "Of course I have! It only ends up in me having to stay home to recover from his rage. He doesn't give in."

               "Then _make_ him give in. You're his son -- you, of all people, should know just what makes him tick. What he _can't_ fight."

               "There's no way to beat him. I've tried. Why do you even give a shit anyway? I'm going home." Frank stood up and held onto the railing as he made his way downstairs.

               Gerard followed and grabbed Frank's arm firmly. "First off, there's a fucking way to beat _anyone_. Second, because of everything he's fucked up. Us. I let myself fucking believe the lies. But it was _obvious_ they were lies. You started to fucking cry; if you were telling the truth, you would've actually _looked_ like you didn't give a shit."

               "It doesn't matter. Even _if_ it was all lies, it wouldn't change anything. We can't be together."

               "Why the fuck not?"

               "Because we can't! It will only put us in danger! I'm not doing it," Frank said as he ripped his arm out of Gerard's grip before heading out the front door.

               Gerard followed Frank the rest of the way and pulled his arm when he caught up to the younger teen, spinning him around to face him. "Do you think I fucking _care_ about being in danger? Did you not _see_ me and the shit I did yesterday? Is that not fucking _dangerous_? You can't let him fucking run your life! I'll fucking fight him myself if I have to, even if it puts me in the goddamn hospital, or my fucking _grave_!"

               "No, you won't! I won't let you do that."

               Gerard's gaze narrowed. "I dare you to stop me," he growled. "Stop me, or stop him."

               Frank stared at the ground, suddenly feeling very sick. "Why do you care? You've gotten everything you possibly can out of me. Why do you keep putting me through this?"

               "Because I fucking love you! I don't give a shit if you'd held out on me or given in on the first damn day! I love _you_ , and I hate seeing you fucking suffer because some goddamned prick has a chokehold on your life, and you won't fucking fight back!"

               "I'm not suffering that bad... It's not like all this hasn't happened before."

               "But why let it happen again? Over and over? Why not fucking fight back?"

               "Because it's wrong! _We're_ wrong! I should just keep seeing girls..."

               "Why the fuck is it wrong?! And _excuse_ me? Last time I checked, I'm fucking _gay_! I don't _like_ chicks! Why the fuck do you not fight back?!"

               Frank shrugged. "I'm not gay though... I could deal with only dating girls. You can do what you want, as long as it’s not with me."

               "I don't _want_ anyone else. No one else will stop me from jumping off a goddamn bridge. No one else will sit and listen to me bitch and moan. No one else will tell me I'm worth it. I can't do it with anyone else, damn it!"

               "You have friends now... they can replace me."

               "No one can fucking replace you!" Gerard shouted, slapping Frank across the face before he could stop himself. "They're not my fucking _friends_ ; they stick around me because I'm rich and can fucking pay for as much shit as I want from them! Once I have no more money or I stop paying them, they won't give a _fuck_ about me!"

               Frank staggered backwards, his hand against his cheek as he began to cry. "You're just like the others, aren't you? I let you take control and then you feel you can treat me how you want! I'm not going through this! I don't need to! Maybe my dad was right. A girl wouldn't treat me this way!" Frank turned and hurried for his car.

               Gerard hurried and grabbed Frank's arm again. "Do you think I'm _enjoying_ this? The only reason I'm telling you any of this is because that man has seriously fucked you up! I'm trying to get you to fucking realize that! Right now I'd much rather be holding you hand and talking about weekend plans, not yelling at you!"

               "I can't do this anymore, Gerard! Just let me go. Please," Frank sobbed.

               "I'm not letting you go! Not until I'm dead!" Gerard choked out, hating himself as he watched Frank cry.

               "I don't have it in me to fight. I’m weak and pathetic. Even if I tried, I wouldn't win," Frank said as he pulled his arm from Gerard's grip to wipe his tears on his sleeve.

               Gerard walked closer and gripped Frank's shoulders, giving him a stern look. "Frank. You aren't _weak_ , you aren't _pathetic_ , you just won't _try_ ," he whispered. " _Try_ , damn it. _Please_."

               "I did try and I failed. I always fail."

               Gerard's grip tightened on Frank's shoulders. "Look at me, Frank." Frank shook his head and looked down. "Look. At. Me." Frank hesitated before looking at Gerard, his small frame beginning to shake violently. Gerard looked Frank straight in the eyes, feeling a few tears of his own begin to fall. "I will stand by you until the bitter end, until _death_. If he dare lay a hand on you, I will fight him until I have to be hospitalized. And then I'll go back and fight him again. And it doesn't matter how many times I have to come back; I'll keep coming and fighting until I win. But I can't do it if you won't help me. _Please_ , Frank. He'll just end up doing this to you your whole life. You have to show him that he doesn't own you."

               Frank shook his head again and leaned forward until he was pressed against Gerard's chest. "I just don't want anything happening to you. You don't deserve it. I don't deserve someone like you," Frank said in between his sobs.

               Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank, stroking his head softly. "You deserve so much more than me, Frank. But I love you too much to watch you move on to better. And I love you too much to watch him run your life. You deserve to make your own choices."

               Frank grabbed onto Gerard's shirt and continued to cry, too worked up to say anything else. Gerard rested his head lightly on Frank's head and held him, continuing to gently run his fingers though Frank's hair. Frank cried for a few minutes before taking deep breaths to calm himself. "I should go," he muttered.

               "Not without me," Gerard whispered.

               "I can't bring you with me; you know that."

               "And why not?"

               "Because I have to go home. My parents expected me back last night."

               "And I'm coming back with you. And they can deal with it, or fight me if they want. We need to clear this up, _now_."

               Frank scoffed and stepped backwards. "No offense, Gerard, but you look like shit. You can tell some shit went down last night."

               "I'm not letting you leave until _something_ gets better. If not with him, then with us."

               "What's wrong with us?"

               "Are we still even together? For the last week or so we haven't even _talked_ to each other."

               "I...I don't know," Frank admitted.

               Gerard fell silent. " _I_ want us to still be together."

               "So do I," Frank whispered so quietly he could barely be heard.

               Gerard walked closer to Frank so he could put his arms around him again. "We don't have to let him know," he whispered.

               "I know that... we can't let him know. No one can know."

               "Anyone can know... anyone but him. We can easily tell them to keep quiet."

               "No. Things have to be like they were before. We gotta keep it on the down low."

               Gerard pulled Frank away and looked at him. "Frank. Others _have_ to know." His gaze narrowed, hoping Frank would get an idea of why.

               "Not everyone," Frank said, avoiding meeting Gerard's eyes.

               "But _some_ do," Gerard insisted in a whisper.

               "Fine, but just a few... and only if they _need_ to know."

               "They do, trust me. And I think you know _who_." Gerard sighed and pulled Frank close again, holding him tightly.

               "Wait. No, I don't," Frank said honestly.

               "Frank, _think_ for a moment."

               "N-not Jamia? Right?"

               Gerard fell silent. "Frank. I don't like pushing things on you, but she really has _no clue_. It'll only hurt her in the long run if you don't tell her."

               Frank sighed heavily. "Fine...I'll tell her..when the time is right."

               "I'm sorry, Frank... but it has to be done..." Gerard held Frank closer, hating himself even more.

               "I guess you're right," Frank mumbled. "I should be heading home."

               Gerard sighed, still holding Frank tightly, not wanting him to leave. He rested his head on top of Frank's for a few moments before kissing it then letting him go.

               "I'll see you on Monday," Frank said as he turned to unlock his car.

               "Promise?" Gerard called, his voice barely a whisper.

               "I promise," Frank said before getting in his car and driving away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> casually updated way before I said I would.


	27. From The Top Of My Lungs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanna scream 'I love you' from the top of my lungs.  
> But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "The (Shipped) Gold Standard" by Fall Out Boy

              Gerard quietly made his way out to lunch, unsure of how the day would unfold. _'How do I explain we made up? What if they think I'm still fucked up from the party?'_ He sighed and shook his head, waiting by the doors for Frank to show up. ' _Maybe he can come with me so it makes things easier.'_

               Frank stepped outside and immediately shoved his hands into his pockets. When he saw Gerard, he smiled nervously, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. Gerard cleared his throat. "We need to tell them things have cleared up," he said. "If we don't... they might just end up running a goddamn car through your house. I didn't think they'd get so extreme, trying to beat you up and shit... we need to make it stop."

               "Oh. Uhm...do I need to be there? Can't I just wait here?"

               Gerard shook his head. "They'll be more convinced if they see I'm actually with you. Otherwise they could just think I'm still buzzed from the party."

               Frank chewed on his lip ring and paused a moment before nodding and starting towards the group of kids who had a death wish on him. Gerard walked with him, pressing his shoulder close to his boyfriend's. _'Fuck. Please let them believe me.'_

               As they got closer, Falkner caught the two from the edge of his vision and looked up. Though he only muttered, it was easy to read his lips saying 'What the fuck?' The others turned and looked at the two; their expressions all confused as to why they were even near each other. Frank shifted uncomfortably as he directed his gaze to the ground. _'They're going to fucking kill me.'_

               Whiteston raised an eyebrow. "Hey, Gee..." he greeted hesitantly, looking from Gerard to Frank and back.

               Peterson finally cleared his throat and asked, "So, any reason _he's_ with you?"

               "Look," Gerard started, "I never wanted you guys out to get Frank in the first place. Yeah, what happened was bad. Yes, it fucked with me. No, I don't want him beaten, harassed, or dead. What happened... wasn't exactly his fault."

               Kane scoffed. "Not his fault?" Thompson repeated. "Gee, I think you're still not quite right in the head from the party--"

               "No, listen," Gerard interrupted. "I'm just fine. Well, okay, no I'm not, but I'm in the right state of mind. We talked it out. Frank explained some things I wasn't aware of. Please, guys, you gotta believe me, okay? We've worked things out."

               Frank looked up and tried his best not to look guilty or scared. _'They won’t believe him...I’m so dead...'_

               Barrington lifted an eyebrow. "And why isn't he saying anything about this?" she questioned, shooting him a glance.

               York nodded. "Yeah, Iero, why don't you explain it to us then?"

               Gerard twitched. _'Jesus fucking Christ.'_ "Guys..."

               "I... I didn’t ever want to hurt Gerard. It was out of my control," Frank mumbled.

               "Out of your control?" Dwian repeated with a snort. "What, did somebody fucking control your damn words?"

               "Guys, please--"

               Gerard tried to speak, but Mauller interrupted. "No, Gee, he's right. How the hell was it out of his control? I mean, really?" Gerard tensed; he wasn't enjoying where this was going.

               "It was my dad... he made me say those things. I couldn't disobey him."

               Peterson narrowed his gaze and was about to say something, but Kane shifted uncomfortably and mumbled, "Okay, maybe he isn't lying..." A few of the people in the group shot the teen questioning glances, but most kept their focus on Frank.

               After a few tense, quiet moments, York finally growled, "Well fix it, Iero. We'll leave you alone, but watch it."

               Gerard blinked, confused. _'Why do they care so much? Jesus, they don't have to act like they care this much.'_

               "Fucking fine," Frank growled before turning on his heel and walking away.

               Gerard flinched. "Wh- Frank, where are you-" He hurried over to Frank's side, trying to keep up the pace. "What... why did you walk off so fast?"

               "Because I don’t wanna hear their shit!"

               Gerard sighed. "I don't either... but I want them to at least believe you... I didn't think they'd get aggressive... it really scared me when I caught them trying to hurt you that one day."

               "Yeah, I'm sure it did," Frank snapped as he sat down at an empty lunch table.

               Gerard sat down next to Frank, looking down guiltily. "It really did... I wasn't sure if they were going to try and hunt you down or what... I was afraid they'd gang up and actually severely hurt you. Never once did I want you hurt... I just wanted to get away."

               "Yeah, well, good thing you were there to save my ass. Guess we're even now, huh?"

               Gerard fell silent. "I never wanted to 'get even'. I didn't even know there was a score being kept."

               Frank sighed and was about to apologize for how he was acting, but got distracted by Jamia sitting herself down on his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck.

               "Frankie! I'm so glad you're okay! You haven’t talked to me since last week after the whole... incident." Jamia kissed Frank quickly but stopped right as she noticed Gerard. "Oh, Gerard, hi... haven't seen you in a while."

               Gerard immediately looked down, feeling uncomfortable and twitching slightly. _'I told him she's clueless. A 'friend' doesn't call you by your damn pet name and fucking kiss you.'_

               Frank smiled awkwardly and glanced over at Gerard. "Uh, Jamia? Can you sit on the bench? I’m feeling kind of... claustrophobic."

               Jamia's eyes widened as she scrambled onto the bench. "Sorry, Frankie, I didn’t know you had that! So, Gerard, it's nice you're hanging with Frankie again! I could tell he missed you, even though he wouldn’t admit it," Jamia said, smiling brightly at Gerard.

               Gerard chewed on his lip. "Uhm... yeah," he mumbled, clearing his throat and shooting Frank a quick glance before focusing back on his spot. _'Fuck, I could use a shot right now.'_

               "So, listen, everyone's going to grab pizza and then go to a movie tonight, do you guys wanna come?"

               Frank looked at Jamia and could tell she really wanted them to come. "I wouldn't mind going out for a while, how 'bout you, Gee?"

             _'Have you completely forgotten?'_ "Yeah, sure, I guess," Gerard mumbled, annoyed.

               "Oh, great!" Jamia squealed before catching both of them in a hug. "It's going to be so fun!"

               Gerard clenched his teeth, trying to keep himself from instinctively pulling away. _'Fuck, I am not used to this kind of stuff. I don't care if Frank is, he can deal with it. But God damn it all, he needs to say something!'_

               Jamia pulled away and fixed her skirt as she stood up. "Well, I gotta meet up with Alicia, I'll call you later, Frankie, so we can set up a meeting time and place. See you two," she shouted as she skipped off towards the school.

               Frank risked a glance at Gerard and immediately regretted it once he saw all of the emotion in his boyfriend's face. Gerard stared hard at the ground, twitching with annoyance, biting his tongue so he wouldn't snap at Frank. _'I don't think he understands how much it bugs me that she keeps calling him by his pet name and treating him like her boyfriend. I'm pretty sure if there was a guy kissing me and calling me 'sweetie', he wouldn't be too happy either!'_

               "Gerard? Are you okay? You don't have to go..."

               "I'd rather go; because if you don't end up telling her, I will, goddamn it."

               "No, you won't. You won't be nice about it," Frank said sternly.

               "Then fucking tell her already, damn it!" Gerard snapped, looking up at Frank. "I'm pretty sure if there was a guy sitting on my lap and kissing me all the goddamn time, you would've definitely let him know that I'm not single by now! But my fucking patience is wearing very thin!"

               "I said I would, Goddammit! When the time is right! I don't want to hurt or embarrass her."

               Gerard huffed and sat up. "I need a smoke," he grumbled, not bothering to look at Frank before turning and making his way to the parking lot.

               Frank sighed and shook his head, thinking it better to let Gerard calm down a bit.


	28. You Can't Do That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve got somethin’ to say that might cause you pain.  
> If I catch you talkin' to that girl again,  
> I’m gonna let you down  
> And leave you flat!  
> Because I told you before,  
> oh, You can’t do that!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "You Can't Do That" by The Beatles

               Gerard mumbled to himself as he pulled on a baggy black band tee and some old jeans. He rinsed his mouth out with mouthwash and checked himself in the mirror to make sure he looked at least somewhat sober. _'I don't need every last person in the school knowing the shit I've gotten into,'_ he thought bitterly.

               Frank pulled into Gerard's driveway and honked a few times, not wanting to get out and face the cold air. Gerard jumped, his mind taking a few moments to register exactly what happened. He made his way down the stairs and grabbed his coat and scarf before walking outside and making his way to Frank's car.

               "Hey, you ready to face the night?" Frank asked as he pulled from the driveway and onto the road.

               Gerard shrugged and mumbled under his scarf, not even halfway sure of what he said. _'I'm out of it enough to face it, I hope.'_ Frank drove the short distance to the local pizza shop and hopped out of the car before making his way to Gerard's door and opening it for him.

               Gerard got out, stumbling slightly, but quickly regaining his balance and pressing up to Frank for warmth.

               "Gerard, please tell me you're not fucked up," Frank sighed, wanting to go back home.

               Gerard twitched. "You know I'm not graceful on my feet," he mumbled, already regretting coming along.

               "Whatever you say." Frank held open the door as Gerard walked in, then followed closely behind him. He looked around for a familiar face and saw Jamia sitting at a table with three other people; one very committed couple and Alicia. Frank twitched when he realized there was an even number of boys and girls. _'Please, God, no.'_ Frank sighed heavily and made his way to the table before sitting down on the opposite side of Jamia. Gerard tripped before sitting down next to Frank. He twitched as he felt his phone vibrate, and pulled it out, reading the text quickly before shooting a quick answer back.

               Jamia smiled as soon as she saw the two teens. "Gerard! Frankie! I'm so glad you guys made it!" Frank gave a weak smile and looked around the table, noticing Kyle Peters staring Gerard down.

               Gerard looked up and gave an awkward smile before feeling himself being watched. He looked over and immediately made eye contact with Peters. "What are you looking at?" he snapped before he could stop himself.

               "Nothing," Kyle said, straightening up. "Just wondering why you got invited."

               Jamia frowned and reached across the table, placing her hand on Gerard's arm. "I invited him, Kyle. He's a friend of Frank's, which makes him welcome with us. Do you have a problem with that?" Jamia asked, narrowing her gaze. Kyle stared back at Jamia a moment before shaking his head and looking down at the table.

               Gerard looked down, feeling a mix of anger towards Kyle and guilt towards all the jealousy he had towards Jamia. ' _It's not that I don't like her. I just don't like her treating Frank like he's free gain.'_

               Jamia snapped back to her smiley self and set her hands in her lap. "We ordered an extra-large pepperoni and a medium veggie lovers for you, Frankie. Gerard, is that okay with you? No special order?"

               Gerard chewed on his lip. "Yeah, that's fine," he mumbled quietly, feeling himself start to shake slightly _. 'Fuck, it's so goddamn cold in here. I think I did too much. Shit, I hope no one notices.'_

               Frank reached under the table and ran his hand along Gerard's thigh, silently thanking him for being nice. "So, what movie are we gonna see?"

               Jamia took a movie schedule from her purse and looked it over. "I was thinking of the new Halloween movie. It looks badass, don't ya think?"

               Frank smiled and nodded his head, realizing that was only the second time he'd heard Jamia cuss. Alicia was in a deep conversation with Ana, leaving Kyle alone to stare at Gerard and Frank. Gerard felt himself blush slightly at Frank's touch. He looked down at the table, seeing everyone's reflection, including Kyle's. _'What the fuck is his problem?'_

               The conversation and brooding glares stopped as soon as the pizza came. Frank practically inhaled half of his pizza by the time everyone was barely on their second slices. Jamia laughed and threw a piece of bread at Frank's chest. "Slow down, you animal," she teased.

               Gerard nibbled on his slice of pizza, trying his best not to wolf it down and be considerate of the others. _'Jesus Christ, I could be higher than heaven and I'd still have my goddamn manners... but fuck, that shit makes you so goddamn hungry.'_

               Frank slowed down and finished eating at the same time as the others. Jamia, Alicia, and Ana all stood up to use the restroom before the movie, leaving Frank feeling extremely awkward next to Gerard and Kyle. Gerard blinked and watched all three girls leave. _'Women... always so weird about getting pretty for stuff like movies...we're gonna be sitting in the dark, staring at a screen. What's the point?'_

               By the time the girls returned, Frank was about to jump out of his skin. "Well, the movie theater is next door so we can just walk there, “Jamia said as she put on her coat. Frank nodded and stood up and followed the rest of the group to the door after leaving half of the payment on the table, Kyle doing the same.

               Gerard followed close behind Frank, trying not to trip or stumble as they made their way to the theater. _'Fucking fuck it's cold. Holy fucking shit.'_ He pressed himself close to Frank, shivering violently. Frank held open the door as everyone walked inside.

               Kyle paid for his and Ana's tickets before hurrying off to their seats, clearly wanting to be alone. Alicia paid for hers next before standing to the side awkwardly as she waited for the others. As Jamia was about to pay, Frank stopped her and said he had it and payed the cashier for three tickets. Jamia smiled and whispered a quiet 'Thank you' before grabbing Alicia and walking into the theater. Frank handed Gerard his ticket and smiled. "You ready to go in?" Gerard nodded, still shivering, and pressed himself close to Frank as they made their way into the theater.

               Frank handed his ticket to a guy in a red and black shirt as he entered the movie. He didn't wait for Gerard as he walked in and began eyeing the rows of seats. Kyle and Ana were down in front, already heavily making out. When Jamia saw Frank, she waved him over to where she and Alicia were sitting. Frank nodded and waited for Gerard to catch up. Gerard quickly tailed Frank, trying his best to watch for the steps as they made their way to the seats. _'Fuck, this isn't gonna be good, I'm so fucked up right now. This movie's gonna kill me.'_

               There were two seats open between the two girls. Frank, of course, sat next to Jamia just as the lights shut off, leaving Gerard to sit between him and Alicia. Gerard made his way to the last open seat, stumbling slightly before sitting down. "Sorry," he mumbled, shrinking down into his seat out of embarrassment.

               Alicia smiled sheepishly at Gerard. "You're about as clumsy as I am," she said with a small giggle. Frank and Jamia were positioned so they were facing each other, immersed in quiet conversation before the movie started.

               Gerard blinked, trying to gather his swirling thoughts. "Uh, y-yeah..." he mumbled, trying his best not to slur. "I'm a daily klutz... Frank could vouch for me." He tried his best to give Alicia a non-awkward grin. _'Fuck, I hope she doesn't notice and tell one of the others.'_

               Alicia laughed and was about to say something else, but was cut off but the opening credits starting. She smiled at Gerard before turning towards the screen, keeping her hands in her lap so Gerard could use the armrest if he wanted. Frank and Jamia stayed angled towards each other, only quieting down a little bit at the start of the movie trailers. Gerard snuggled himself into his seat, feeling a bit dizzy and tired. He slowly reached over and rested his hand gently on Frank's thigh, trying to keep himself from zoning out.

               Frank grabbed Gerard's hand and moved it aside, without Jamia noticing. As the real movie started up, they both switched positions so they could face the screen easily. Jamia noticed Frank was using the armrest, but was unwilling to let him have it all to himself. She put her own elbow on the rest and pushed Frank's arm over until they could both fit. Frank laughed silently and smiled at Jamia as he shook his head as her childishness.

               Gerard, out of slight annoyance, gave Frank's thigh a slight slap as he bunched himself up closer into the seat. He rested his arm on the open armrest, trying to keep himself from sliding off, staring intently at the back of the seat in front of him.

               Frank shot Gerard a look of warning before turning back to the screen. A few minutes into the film, he felt Jamia's hand slowly making its way onto his, as if she was trying to hold his hand. Frank immediately brought his hand up and scratched his head, smoothly avoiding the situation.

               Alicia was so bored she couldn't stand it; she hated these kinds of movies. She decided to have some fun with Gerard to pass the time. While Gerard sat limp in his seat, Alicia moved closer and closer to him, never once making eye contact, trying to pretend she wasn't practically on his lap. Gerard shot Frank back a glare before staring back at the seat, acting like he was watching the movie. Out of numbness, he hadn't even noticed Alicia making her way onto his lap until he saw her hair fall slightly into his view. He blinked, staring in front of himself still, trying to push aside his awkward feeling. _'Maybe it's just a scary part and she wants comfort or something,'_ he thought to himself, and lightly rested his arm around her to give her a sense of comfort. Alicia smiled and settled herself onto Gerard's lap, resting her head on his shoulder in the process.

               Frank glanced over at the two and looked quickly away, both jealous and angry as hell. He was too busy plotting Alicia's death to notice Jamia's hand slowly making its way up his thigh. Gerard chewed on his lip, feeling extra awkward about the situation. _'I sure as hell hope this is just a comfort thing for her, because even if I were single, I don't exactly swing for women.'_ He cleared his throat a bit, trying to focus on the chair more than Alicia cuddling up to him.

               Alicia kept her eyes down as she moved her hip against Gerard's groin, trying to evoke some kind of reaction from him. As Jamia's hand got dangerously close to a place Frank didn't particularly want her going, he shifted in his seat and stretched out his legs, displacing Jamia's hand and causing her to withdraw. Gerard's face burned bright red as he felt Alicia shift. He straightened himself out, causing her to slide down lower, away from his hips, and shifted closer to Frank. Alicia sighed and took the hint before climbing off Gerard and back onto her own seat.

               Jamia waited for an especially loud part of the movie to make her move. She tapped Frank's shoulder, causing him to turn towards her and lean forward to listen. Then she took Frank's face in both of her hands and kissed him deeply, happy to have finally won.

               Frank's eyes widened and his mind went blank, leaving him with no idea of what to do. He settled for waving his arm in front of Gerard's field of vision, silently asking for help. Gerard caught Frank's arm waving from the side of his view, and turned to see Jamia kissing him. He abruptly stood up, completely forgetting the fact that they were in the middle of a movie, and shouted, "Okay, seriously, for the love of Jesus fucking Christ, will you stop kissing and flirting with my goddamned boyfriend?!"

               Jamia immediately pulled away from Frank and stared at Gerard with wide eyes. "I... I... uhm..."

               Gerard shook his head with an exasperated growl and made his way out of the theater, already regretting going in the first place as his head spun with anger and guilt.

               "Jamia... I... fuck, I gotta go," Frank said before he hurried after Gerard.

               Gerard finally got out of the building and started to make his way up the sidewalk, grumbling and muttering to himself. Frank ran up behind Gerard and grabbed his arm. "Gerard, stop!"

               Gerard spun around, yanking his arm from Frank's grip. "I fucking told you to tell her!" he snapped. "I said that if you weren't going to tell her, I would, damn it!"

               "Well you fucking told her in the worst way possible! She's probably so fucking embarrassed!"

               "I gave you enough goddamn chances to tell her! You had all fucking night to! I think you're the one who's fucking embarrassed!"

               "There wasn't a good time for me to talk to her! And why the fuck would I be embarrassed?" Frank pulled his hood up, suddenly very aware of how cold it was.

               "Because she's been doing this the whole fucking time we've been together, which means you've had plenty of time to tell her, God damn it!"

               "It hasn't been like this the whole time! She only just started touching me and kissing me!"

               Gerard snorted. "Give me a fucking break! She was like that during the time she was throwing the fucking party! That's been a long fucking time!"

               "Well, it didn't go very far, did it? You made sure of that when you started drinking!" Frank flinched when he finished, immediately regretting his words.

               "I wouldn't have fucking started drinking if you hadn't starting arguing with me then fucking ditched me!" Gerard snarled back.

               "You brought that on yourself! You were over-reacting, as always! Typical drama queen Gerard, more emotions than a fucking girl!"

               Gerard lunged forward and shoved Frank roughly. "No better than your fucking fuse! It matches your goddamn height!"

               Frank didn't hesitate before pulling back his fist and punching Gerard in his side. "Fuck you!" He shouted before turning and walking to his car.

               Gerard stumbled slightly and gripped his side, falling down to his knees and whimpering slightly. _'Fuck, that hurt.'_

               When Frank reached his car, he tried to grab his keys from his pocket and ended up dropping them. "Every fucking time," he mumbled as he picked them up and unlocked his door. Gerard picked himself up and made his way towards Frank's car, feeling a mix of anger, hurt, and regret. Frank hopped into the driver's seat and started the engine, ready to speed his way home. Gerard made his way to the car right as Frank started it and knocked on the glass of the passenger's side.

               Frank sighed and unlocked the door, biting his tongue so he wouldn't say anything. Gerard hesitated a moment before climbing in, wincing as he bent his side to crawl into the seat, staring down the whole time.

               "Shut the Goddamn door so I can take you home," Frank growled. Gerard wanted to snap a comment, but instead quietly obeyed.

               Frank quickly peeled out of the parking lot and sped towards Gerard's house, wanting to be done with the night as soon as possible. Gerard let out a quiet yelp, feeling himself get thrown into the seat as Frank drove. He wanted to yell at Frank more, but at the same time, he wanted to apologize. 'Fuck, I hate these mixed emotions.'

               Just a few minutes later, Frank pulled into Gerard's driveway. He made sure the doors were unlocked and stared ahead as he waited for Gerard to get out. "So that's it?" Gerard whispered, starting to feel more hurt and guilty than angry now.

               "That's fucking it," Frank said, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

               Gerard stared down, feeling a pathetic whimper start to escape as a few tears fell.

               Frank looked over at Gerard and had to fight to keep the stern look on his face. "A-are you crying? What is it now?" _'God, I'm such an asshole,'_ he thought.

               "Look, I just felt like you wanted her attention more, okay?" Gerard whispered. "I don't hate her or anything. I just... felt like you wouldn't tell her because if anything happened with us... you'd just go to her instead, and leave me behind..."

               "Well, I did want her attention more. You're all fucked up... that's hard to want to be around."

               "I'm fucked up because I didn't want to be there in the first place, because I knew something like that would happen!" Gerard shouted in a sob.

               "Then you shouldn't have come," Frank said, looking straight ahead again.

               "Why, so you could've tied tongues with her?!" Gerard snapped. "Not like you haven't already!"

               "I wouldn't have done it because of you! I'm not a cheater!" Frank spat, ignoring Gerard's last comment.

               Gerard fell silent again, staring down at his feet as he continued to cry. "I know you're not," he whispered after a few moments. "You're more loyal than anyone I know. You've dealt with all my shit this whole time, and you're still with me."

               "Yeah, I am. I'm still here because I love you, not her. If I wanted to be with her, I could be. If I wanted to have sex with her, I would have, there's been plenty of chances. But even when we were apart, I didn't go far with her," Frank admitted.

               "I don't know why you love a fucked up loser like me."

               "Honestly? Neither do I. But you're not a loser."

               Gerard scoffed. "Not a loser... that's funny."

               "Okay, you're a loser. I'm only with you because you were the first loser I saw and thought, Hey, wouldn't it be fun to deal with heartbreak and suffering for him? You know how I love a challenge." Gerard continued to stare down at his lap, falling silent. "I think you need to just get some sleep," Frank said quietly. Gerard shrugged, not wanting to leave. "Gerard, come on. You're emotional and tired and aren't thinking clearly."

               Gerard wanted to object, but bit it back and nodded quietly, letting out another whimper. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Frank forced a smile, trying to get Gerard to feel at least a little bit better. Gerard sniffled a little as a few more tears began to fall, and nodded slightly, wiping his eyes. "Are you gonna be okay?"

               Gerard shrugged and reached over to open the car door, wincing again as his side moved. Frank sighed and got out of the car before rushing to Gerard's side. He helped him out of the car and to the porch, trying to move him as little as possible. Gerard trudged his way to the door, hating himself as he approached, and aching for a hug from Frank. Frank released his hold on Gerard and leaned against the house as he waited for his boyfriend to open the door. Gerard slowly unlocked the door and opened it, sighing and wishing the night had gone better.

               "Do you need help getting upstairs?"

               "I-I dunno... maybe," Gerard whispered, feeling himself shake.

               "Here, I'll help just in case," Frank said as he hit the button to lock his car before wrapping an arm around Gerard for support and helping him inside, kicking the door shut with his foot. Gerard leaned on Frank as they made their way into the house and up the stairs, feeling lightheaded as they went. Frank helped Gerard to his bed and let him go. "So... I guess that's it."

               "I-I guess so..." Gerard whispered, feeling himself start to tear up again.

               "Gerard! What's wrong now?" Gerard shook his head quietly, looking down at the bed sheets. Frank sat down on the bed and looked at his boyfriend. "Please tell me what's wrong."

               Gerard whimpered a little more and shook his head. "Just... me... being stupid."

               "How are you being stupid?" Frank whispered as he scooted to Gerard's side.

               "I just... don't want you to leave... I feel lonely."

               "That's not stupid... everyone gets lonely."

               Gerard continued to stare at the sheets. "But I don't wanna ask you to stay."

               "You don't have to ask," Frank said. "I'll stay if you want me to."

               Gerard sniffed and wiped his eyes. "Promise?"

               Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard and kissed his cheek gently. "I promise." Gerard pressed himself close to Frank and rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder softly before closing his eyes. Frank pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed a number. "I just have to call my dad and let him know I'm staying the night."

               Gerard flinched and pulled away. "B-but... He..."

               Frank pressed a finger to his lips, motioning for Gerard to be quiet. "Dad? Hey, can I stay the night at a friend's? Who? Oh, Jamia, of course. No, you can't talk to her, she's in the bathroom. Uh...yeah, I'll use protection. Okay, goodnight dad!" Frank hung up the phone and sighed, feeling extremely tired and guilty.

               Gerard shifted, feeling uncomfortable and hating Frank's cover up, but biting back his disgust. He wasn't actually with Jamia, and he wasn't actually going to have sex with her. Gerard stared back down at the ground and pushed up against Frank again.

               "So... we should be getting some sleep."

               Gerard nodded slightly, laying down and curling up in bed, not bothering to change. Frank kicked off his shoes and took off his pants, leaving him in his boxers and t-shirt. He pulled of Gerard's shoes and set them on the ground before crawling over him to get to the other side of the bed. He layed down with a sigh and stared up at the ceiling. Gerard hesitated a few moments before edging up to Frank and snuggling up closely to him, closing his eyes slowly.

               Frank wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and shut his eyes. "Goodnight, Gee," he mumbled before quickly falling asleep.

               Gerard whispered a quiet, "Goodnight, Frankie," before burying his face into Frank's shoulder and drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has honestly become a bear for me. I'll finish posting but I feel like no one even reads anymore and I'm doing all this work for nothing.


	29. Paradise By The Dashboard Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can see paradise by the dashboard light  
> Paradise by the dashboard light  
> You got to do what you can  
> And let Mother Nature do the rest  
> Ain't no doubt about it  
> We were doubly blessed  
> 'Cause we were barely seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf  
> (This song is about sex in a car and the lyrics are actually really good. I suggest looking it up)

               Frank struggled to open his eyes as the sound from his phone alarm went off. He sat up and yawned as he stretched before shoving Gerard gently. "Gerard, we gotta get up. Come on."             

               Gerard slowly opened his eyes and pulled himself up. He leaned against Frank and yawned, struggling to blink the sleep away. Frank kissed Gerard's cheek before getting up and getting dressed, stumbling slightly as he pulled on his pants.

               Gerard dragged himself out of bed and put on his uniform, feeling like he was going to completely fall over a few times before getting on all his clothes. He brushed away a few wrinkles before looking to Frank. "So, I guess you're driving?"

               "Well, duh," Frank said, rolling his eyes. He went into the bathroom and got ready quickly before coming out and putting on his shoes. Gerard got himself ready the rest of the way and slipped on his dress shoes before grabbing his backpack.  Frank sighed and stood up. He grabbed his keys and cellphone before heading down the stairs quietly, not wanting to possibly wake anyone up. Gerard followed behind closely, unlocking the door and opening it for Frank.

               Frank smiled and made his way to the car before unlocking it and getting in. He started the engine and unlocked Gerard's door before turning on the heating. _'Jesus Christ, it's fucking freezing this morning.'_ Gerard quickly climbed into the car, already shivering, hoping to get warm as he closed the door. Frank pulled out of the driveway and started the short drive to the school. When they reached a red light, Frank looked in the mirror and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to get it to look somewhat decent.

               A couple minutes later, Frank pulled into the school parking lot and stopped the car before grabbing his bag from the backseat and getting out. Gerard got his bag and got out of the car, immediately rushing to Frank's side for warmth when the cold air hit him.

               "You're so clingy," Frank teased as he pressed the remote on his keyring to lock his car.

               "Only because you're warm," Gerard mumbled through his scarf.

               "Oh, I see, you're just using me," Frank said as he held the school door open.

               "Yes, because I totally needed that warmth when we first met and the weather was fine," Gerard replied, smiling gently. "You know I'm not using you... right?"

               "Of course you're not, there's nothing you can get from me." Frank began to walk down the hall to his locker, trying to desperately avoid the groups of girls squealing about prom.

               "And there's really nothing you can gain from me, so I guess that means that's mutual," Gerard replied, walking down the hall closely to Frank. He immediately heard the girls talking about their Prom dates. "Hey, have you gotten your suit or tux yet?" he asked Frank, giving him a smile.

               "Ahh, no, I... uh. Not yet." Frank avoided looking at Gerard as he struggled to undo his lock.

               Gerard sensed Frank avoiding his gaze. "I can lend you money if you like... or a suit."

               "I don't need your charity, Gerard. I'll figure it out," Frank said, his cheeks turning red as he gathered what he needed for class.

               Gerard flinched slightly. "I was only offering," he whispered quietly.

               "Yeah, well, I decline." Frank shut his locker and looked around. "I gotta head to class."

               Gerard shifted and looked down. "I-I'm sorry."

               "For what? You didn't do anything wrong. I over-reacted... I'm sorry, Gee."

               Gerard shuffled his feet. "I didn't mean to be offensive or anything... I just... I know your family struggles sometimes, and I just... If your parents needed the money for something else, I want them to be able to support you as well as themselves." _'Fuck. I probably sound like a rich asshole.'_

               "My family doesn't struggle. What the fuck? You don't have any idea what goes on in my house, so keep your mouth shut about it, okay?" Frank pushed past Gerard and hurried down the hall, trying to get away before he said anything else. Gerard flinched and watched Frank walk away, then turned, head hanging, as he made his way to his class.

              

Frank sat at his and Gerard's usual table with Jamia. She was sitting on the same side as him and his arm was around her shoulders as they talked quietly and closely. Gerard stopped and talked to Whiteston and Dwian quickly before he headed over to the table, ducking his head as he got closer, feeling a mix of shame and guilt when he spotted Jamia. _'She probably thinks I hate her... shit.'_ Frank looked up and smiled when he saw Gerard before he made a signal to tell him to hurry with his free hand and whispering something in Jamia's ear. Gerard looked up slightly and saw Frank motion for him, so he quickly made his way over, still looking down at the ground.

               "Hey, Gee, you okay?" Frank asked, nudging Gerard's shoulder gently.

               Gerard gave a small nod and mumbled, feeling his chest ache with extreme guilt. _'I shouldn't have done anything before the movie. Maybe then I wouldn't have snapped at her. Fuck. How do I apologize for going off on her like that?'_

               Jamia stood up and moved to sit next to Gerard. She turned to face him and took his hands in her own. "Gerard, you know I love Frank, right?"

               Gerard chewed on his lip and looked away. "I know," he mumbled.

               Jamia placed her hand under Gerard's chin and made him look at her. "Well, I know you love him too... even more than I do. I also know how much he loves you. I chalked it all up to friendship between you two because Frank didn't tell me he.... went both ways. But, I know I'm a lot of things and a whore isn't one of them. I wouldn't have touched Frank if I'd have known... and when anything did happen, Frank said you guys weren't together. Look, basically what I'm trying to say is... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get in between you guys and I promise to remain only a friend to Frankie from now on. Could you forgive me and maybe... be my friend as well?"

               Gerard flinched and looked Jamia in the eyes. "I... I never thought of you as a whore... or anything like that. I knew you didn't know... I just... I should be the one apologizing... I wasn't in the right state of mind last night, and this whole time, you've been nothing but nice to me. I just... I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm sorry. I never meant to be rude... but I was. I'm sorry..." He pulled his chin away and looked down, feeling like an asshole. "I would like to be friends, though... if you still want to be."

               "You're fine, Gerard, I get protective of my boyfriends too," Jamia laughed as she threw her arms around Gerard, catching him in a tight hug. Gerard flinched and hesitated a moment before hugging back, still feeling slightly guilty. Jamia held on for a few more seconds before planting a kiss on Gerard's cheek and pulling away.

               Frank smiled and shook his head at the whole scene, glad everything was going to be okay. Gerard twitched and blushed, looking down. 'Damn she's affectionate,' he thought to himself, not bitterly, but just as a realization.

               Frank cleared his throat and Jamia's eyes widened as she remembered something. "Oh, Gerard, uhm... when you and Frank were apart... I asked him to prom and... well, he said yes." She bit her lip and stared at Gerard, hoping he wouldn't freak out on her again.

               Gerard chewed on his lip, feeling a panicky twinge in his throat. "Oh," he mumbled in response, not sure of how to react.

               "Yeah... well... I still plan on taking him," Jamia said, glancing back at Frank.

               Gerard fell silent, staring down at the ground. _'Well, how the fuck do I respond to that?'_ he thought to himself. 'I mean, that means there's no point in me going to Prom, then, if I don't even have anyone to go with.'

               "Gerard? You okay?" Jamia waved a hand in front of the teen, trying to regain his attention.

               Frank smirked behind Gerard's back, knowing exactly what his boyfriend was thinking. _'He's so slow sometimes.'_

               Gerard simply shrugged, holding his tongue.

               "Well, since you won't talk to me, I'm assuming you don't care to hear the rest of what I have to say." Jamia stood up and slowly turned to walk away.

               "The rest? What else is there to say?"

               Jamia turned around and laughed as she sat herself on Gerard's lap. "Well, mister dramatic, I know Frank's dad isn't fond of you and wants Frank to take a girl to prom, mainly me. So, he was going to pick me up, pose for pictures for his family and mine, then we'd pick you up, have you two take pictures and all that. Annnndddd, after all the formalities are done, we'd go to prom and I'd hang out with Alicia and you two can do your own thing, worry free." She spoke quickly, not taking a breath until the very end.

               "So, basically... you're covering for us?" he summed up, a bit shocked.

               "Basically," Jamia said, nodding.

               Gerard looked down, falling silent for a few moments before whispering, "Th-thank you." He swallowed back a few tears. _'She's so kind and thoughtful... no wonder Frank likes her.'_

               Jamia shrugged, acting like it was no big deal. Frank scooted closer to Gerard and wrapped his arms around him from behind, resting his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder. Gerard softly leaned into Frank, staring down at the ground, still trying to take it all in, chewing on his lip slightly.

               Jamia scooted off Gerard's lap and stood up. "Well, I gotta go find Alicia... I'll see you two soon, okay?"

               Frank nodded slightly and smiled brightly at her. Gerard wiped his eyes and looked up at Jamia, nodded and giving a soft smile. Jamia smiled and waved before hurrying off into the school. Frank gently bit Gerard's earlobe. "See? She's not so bad." Gerard jumped slightly when he felt Frank's teeth against his skin, then relaxed and nodded quietly. Frank squeezed Gerard and sighed. "One less thing to worry about. Why is prom so stressful? I thought it was going to be fun."

               "Because your dad's a homophobic ass and I there's no getting sense into him?" Gerard replied. "And because I still don't know what kind of suit to get?" he added with a laugh.

               "Yes... and yes. How do you not know? I thought you knew all about that stuff."

               "Because! I don't know which would look best for a dance," Gerard replied with an exaggerated sigh, turning his head sideways and looking at Frank. "Maybe if you helped me?"

               "How am I supposed to help you?" Frank asked as he screwed up his nose in dismay.

               "Maybe give me opinions on which you think would look best on me?" Gerard answered, rolling his eyes jokingly. "I can show you the different types!"

               Frank groaned and pouted. "Do I have to?"

               Gerard gave him a look. "Do you want me to look nice for Prom?"

               "I want you to be naked for prom. Not in front of the whole school but... who says we have to go anyway?"

               Gerard blushed and blinked. "Well... I kind of wanted to go... but I mean... there's always... after Prom."

               "I have to wait all night?" Frank asked, feigning disappointment.

               Gerard gave Frank a quick peck on the cheek. "Will it not be worth it?"

               "I don't know. Will it be?"

               "That depends on you."

               "Wh-how?"

               Gerard leaned close into Frank. "It depends on whether or not you think it'll be worth it," he replied.

               "Oh," Frank said faintly. "I think it will be. Waiting can only make things better because you realize how much you want it."

               Gerard smiled softly and kissed Frank's cheek again. "Good. In the meantime, you can help me pick out a suit... or a tux."

               "When am I supposed to help you with that?"

               Gerard shrugged. "This weekend, maybe? You can say you're helping Jamia pick out a dress or something. I can always bring some pictures of the different types of suits and tuxedos, too."

               "Okay, this weekend. I'll watch you try on dresses and then you'll stop bugging me," Frank teased.

               Gerard rolled his eyes. "Yes, Frank, I'll dress up as Cinderella and you can be the Prince."

               "Are you gonna sing for me too?"

               Gerard blushed. "I thought I already did," he mumbled, embarrassed.

               "What? I only get to hear you once? That's fucking lame," Frank said, folding his arms across his chest and pouting.

               Gerard sighed and leaned against Frank. "Give me time, okay?"

               "Fine, take the time you need... as long as I can hear you make other sounds in the meantime." Frank wrapped his arms across Gerard's chest and licked the side of his face before letting out a laugh.

               Gerard's eyes grew wide and he blushed deeply and giggled. "Frankie!" he scolded, ducking his head.

               Frank laughed breathily and buried his face in Gerard's hair. "Mm, you smell good," Frank said, fully aware of how creepy he sounded.

               Gerard giggled again. "Frankie, stop it!" he laughed, snuggling into Frank's hold.

               "Stop what? I'm not doing anything to you!" Frank went down to Gerard's neck and began biting it gently.

               Gerard let out a small gasp and blushed even harder, leaning his head back on Frank's shoulder and slowly closing his eyes. Frank lowered his hands to Gerard's stomach as he began to suck on his neck. Gerard bit his lip slightly as he lightly began to pant, feeling a small shudder run up his spine. Frank let go of Gerard when he heard the bell ring, signaling the end of the lunch period. He sighed and scooted away from his boyfriend as he turned a deep shade of red. Gerard pulled back slowly, feeling a twinge of disappointment. 'Damn bell,' he thought to himself. He looked down and blushed. "U-uhm, I guess I'll see you after school, then?"

               "Yeah, I'll give you a ride home," Frank said as he stood up and straightened his clothes. Gerard quietly nodded and stood up, kissing Frank on the tip of his nose.

               Frank giggled and held Gerard's hand as they made their way into the school. Gerard smiled and walked close beside Frank, feeling himself relax as things finally began to go back to normal again.

Once they reached the hallway and had to separate, Frank hesitated a moment before leaning forward and kissing Gerard, ignoring the presence of the other students. He pulled away quickly, as if nothing had happened and turned to head to class. Gerard blinked and watched Frank leave, then ducked his head shyly, blushing, before making his way to the classroom.

 

* * *

               Frank sat on the hood of his car and waited for Gerard to come out. _'Jesus, he's slow,'_ he thought as he took a drag from his cigarette.

               Gerard made his way out of the building, finishing up his conversation with Barrington before making his way over to Frank's car. "Sorry; she was telling me something about York getting into a scuff with some guy over payment or something... I wasn't really paying attention."

               "What lovely friends you made," Frank said as he tossed the cigarette to the ground and hopped off of the car.

               "I wouldn't call them friends," Gerard mumbled, making his way to the passenger's side. Frank rolled his eyes and unlocked the car before getting in and starting it up. Gerard climbed in quickly and shut the door. "Acquaintances at best," he finished. "I know if I were to suddenly be broke, they'd ditch me in an instant."

               "I'd ditch you too," Frank said as he pulled from the parking lot.

               "I hope you're joking," Gerard replied, half serious.

               "Hell no, I'm not joking! I need me a sugar daddy to pay for me to get my nails did," Frank said, trying hard not to laugh.

               Gerard laughed, glad to know Frank was kidding. "Well, I'm not going broke any time soon, so don't you worry about your pretty little nails."

               "Good, cause I need to look my best to impress my suitors." Frank turned onto Gerard's street, slowing down slightly as he went.

               "I better be your only suitor, or else some people are gonna get this shit fucked up," Gerard laughed.

               "Calm your dick, you're the only one," Frank said with a laugh as he pulled into Gerard's driveway. "Alright, get out."

               "Good," Gerard replied with a grin. He looked to his house, then looked at Frank with a pout. "I have to go already?"

               "It's not my fault you live so close to the school!"

               "But Frankie," Gerard whined, giving him a puppy dog look.

               "Oh, come on; that's not fair! What do you want me to do?"

               Gerard shrugged and looked away. "I dunno," he teased, trying to hold back a smile.

               Frank furrowed his brow in frustration. "Come on. Tell me."

               Gerard giggled slightly, shrugging again.

               Frank unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned over to get closer to Gerard. "Gee, please, tell me what you want."

               Gerard looked up at the roof of the car, then back to Frank, trying to make himself look as innocent as possible. "I dunno," he repeated, a small smile playing on his lips.

               Frank sighed and climbed onto Gerard's lap and straddled him. "You do know, you're just being difficult."

               Gerard gasped slightly, blushing and looking up at Frank. He batted his eyelashes. "I don't know what you're talking about, Frankie."

               "If you don't tell me, I'm leaving," Frank said with a serious tone to his voice.

               Gerard looked down and shifted a bit. "Guess."

               "You want... me to help you with your homework?"

               Gerard shook his head. "No... guess again."

               "Hmm, you want to go to the park?" Frank smiled, trying hard not to bust out laughing.

               Gerard giggled. "Nooo, Frankie. Guess again."

               "Give me a hint?"

               Gerard giggled again. "Weeell, it's something we can do right here."

               "Listen to the radio?" Frank guessed. "You gotta be more specific."

               Gerard shook his head and shifted a bit before putting his hands on Frank's cheeks and kissing him. Frank's eyes widened and he moved his hands around awkwardly before resting them on Gerard's hips and kissing back. Gerard leaned back slowly, hoping Frank would follow suit. Frank reached down and made the seat fold back and continued to kiss Gerard as they went down.

               Gerard reached up and rested his hands on Frank's sides, his breaths beginning to get lighter as he finally opened his mouth, allowing Frank entry. Frank placed his hands on the seat above Gerard's head as he slipped his tongue into his boyfriend’s mouth, sighing in relief at the familiarity of it all. Gerard let his tongue brush against Frank's, letting out a quiet whimper and running his hands slowly up and down Frank's sides.

               Frank kissed Gerard harder and began to roll his hips. Gerard's grip tightened around Frank as a soft moan escaped from his throat. Frank groaned and began to grind against Gerard as he felt himself getting hard. Gerard's light breaths started to become pants as Frank pushed himself harder against him. He let out another whimper, feeling his body tremble slightly. Frank pulled away to breathe and looked down at Gerard. "What if your parents come home?"

               Gerard looked up, trying to catch his breath. "My mom doesn't get home until seven still. My father comes home later. Mikey's out with Ray. No one will be here for a while."

               "Oh? Good," was all Frank said before he began sucking on Gerard's neck and grinding harder. Gerard lightly gasped and eased his eyes shut, panting again and whimpering. Frank continued to suck on Gerard's neck as he began to undo his boyfriend's belt quickly. Gerard let out another whimper, moving his hands to thread them through Frank's hair.

               When Frank finally undid Gerard's pants, he tightly gripped his dick and began to stroke quickly. Gerard began panting heavily, letting out a moan. "Oh, God... Frank..."

               Frank nibbled on Gerard's neck and began to stroke faster, occasionally rubbing his thumb over the head. Gerard moaned and whimpered before biting down on his lip, trying to quiet himself a bit. His hips bucked forward slightly out of instinct as Frank continued.

               Frank licked his way to Gerard's mouth and kissed him roughly as he continued to stroke him. "Don't hold back... I want to hear you. I don't want to miss a single. Filthy. Sound."

               Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and let out a desperate groan, his pants mixing with whimpers. He ran his hands through Frank's hair and let out a low moan, his hips bucking forward a few more times. Frank smirked and rested his forehead against Gerard's, watching his expressions as he stroked faster and tightened his grip.

               Gerard panted faster, mouth open, letting lose another groan as he felt the area around his hips begin to tighten. He clenched his teeth, his heartbeat racing. _'Fuck, he's so good at this.'_

               Frank twisted his wrist and squeezed Gerard tightly. "Open your eyes. Look at me when you come," he commanded.

               Gerard bit down on his lip as Frank's grip tightened, opening his eyes slightly as he stared up at Frank. He swallowed hard and continued to pant. _'I'm so close... fucking hell...'_

               Frank ran his tongue along Gerard's bottom lip and stroked as fast as he could, determined to push his boyfriend over the line. Gerard's hands fell to the sides of the seat. He gripped tightly, his back arching forward, his hips buckling. He gasped out Frank's name as he came long and hard, whimpering slightly. Frank smirked and continued to stroke Gerard until he was finished. Even when he stopped, Frank held Gerard's dick in his hand as he looked down at his boyfriend, reveling in the sight. Gerard stared up at Frank, softly placing his hands on his boyfriend's sides again as he panted, sweat formed on his forehead.

               Frank let go of Gerard and leaned down, kissing him slowly. Gerard kissed back and threaded a hand through Frank's hair. Frank continued to kiss his boyfriend for a minute longer before pulling away and sitting up. He reached in the middle console and pulled out some tissues and tossed a few to Gerard before cleaning off his hand. Gerard cleaned himself off and rested for a few minutes, trying to steady his breathing. Frank tucked Gerard back inside his pants and buttoned them up. He looked at the window and quietly laughed when he saw the fog on the glass. _'Typical Titanic moment,'_ he thought.

               Gerard looked up at Frank and blushed slightly before propping himself up and kissing his boyfriend. Frank couldn't help but smile into the kiss, feeling truly happy for the first time in weeks. Gerard kissed Frank for a few more moments before pulling away and burying his face into Frank's shoulder. "I love you."

               Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard and mumbled, "I love you too," quietly. Gerard smiled and laid back in the seat, holding Frank and resting his eyes. "Gee? I gotta get home... my dad is gonna question me like I'm a criminal already. I can't stay too long."

               Gerard slowly opened his eyes and nodded. He gave Frank a light kiss on the cheek. "You gotta get off me first," he giggled.

               "Hmm? Oh, shit. I'm an idiot," Frank said as he laughed and rolled onto the driver's seat.

               Gerard reached down and pulled the handle to fold the seat back up to normal before leaning over and kissing Frank's cheek again. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

               "No, Gerard, I'm going to disappear as soon as you leave."

               Gerard rolled his eyes and smiled, hugging Frank tightly before grabbing his own bag and opening the door. "See you at school then, Frankie," he whispered.

               "Bye, Gee," Frank said as the put the car in gear and waited for Gerard to step out.

               "Thanks for driving me home," Gerard said as he climbed out of the car. "And for the other things," he added with a blush before closing the door and making his way to his house. Frank shook his head and watched Gerard walk inside before pulling out onto the street and heading home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I took a while to update this time and I'm sorry. I had the chapter ready to go and I forgot to save and my computer shut down and I lost it all so I got discouraged. I'll update again soon because I went ahead and did two chapters so I won't get behind again. Like always, please review and if you want, you can follow me on tumblr (headfirstforieros) and tell me how you like the story there! I always love talking to readers!
> 
> ALSO-IMPORTANT!!!!  
> I'm looking for people to do some fanart for this fic. Like it would make my life and I'd put it at the beginning of whatever chapter inspires the art. I don't care what style it's in but please make it decent. I'll credit you and everything and if you have a tumblr, I'll promo you to my over 3000 followers. Kthanks.


	30. All Tattered And Torn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, perhaps I should leave here.  
> Yeah, yeah, go far away.  
> But you know that there's nowhere  
> That I'd rather be  
> Than with you here today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Hold Me Now" by Thompson Twins

              Gerard pulled into Frank's driveway and got out of his car, shivering and quickly making his way to the door before ringing the doorbell. _'Thank God we'll be inside today; it's freezing!'_

               Frank was putting on his shoes when he heard the door ring. "Godammit," he mumbled as he pulled on his last shoe and stood up. He hurried to the door and opened it before grabbing Gerard's arm and pulling him inside. "I gotta put my coat on and shit so no sense in you standing outside waiting."

               Gerard nodded and closed the door behind him. "Want me to just wait here?" he asked.

               "Do whatever you want, I'm just gonna be a second," Frank said as he hurried to his room to get his stuff.

               Gerard nodded and quietly waited by the front door for Frank, checking his watch. 'I hope they don't mind us being a bit late.'

               Frank threw on his coat and zipped it before checking himself in the mirror. He sighed, realizing this was as good as it was going to get, and grabbed his keys and phone before heading back out to the living room. "Okay, let's go!"

               Gerard nodded and opened the door, stepping aside to let Frank out first. 'Maybe he can find a suit there, too? If he wants... it's up to him.' Frank smiled as he passed Gerard. He hurried to the car and hopped into the passenger's seat before shutting the door to keep the cold out.

               Gerard quickly made his way to the driver's side and got in, closing the door and fastening his seat belt before driving off, turning on the radio on a low volume. Frank put on his seatbelt and relaxed in his seat. "So, where are we going? How far away is it?"

               "Not very far," Gerard replied with a smile, eyes on the road. "I asked my father how I could find the right outfit, and he made an appointment with his tailor for me, so we're going to his shop."

               "A tailor? Isn't that a bit much? It's just a dance." Frank looked out the window, suddenly feeling very inferior with his limited prom fund.

               Gerard shrugged. "Well. I mean. That's where my father said to look, so..." He fell silent for a few moments. "I mean, there's already suits there. Mr. Ilario will just help us find the best one, y'know?"

               "No, I don't really know... but I guess I'm gonna find out," Frank said with a sigh.

               "Is something wrong?" Gerard asked, casting a quick glance at Frank.

               "No, just thinking about stuff."

               Gerard frowned. "Something seems wrong, though."

               "Everything's fine," Frank said, giving Gerard a small smile. "Hey, what do you think Jamia's gonna wear?"

               Gerard laughed. "Honestly? I have no clue. I'm no good with dresses."

               "I can't wait to see. She's gonna look great," Frank stated as he looked back out the window.

               "I just hope I can look good, too," Gerard sighed, suddenly doubting himself. 'How can I sport a suit? Or a tux? I'll probably end up looking like an idiot... or a lawyer.'

               "You'll look amazing, like always." Frank gave Gerard a reassuring smile as he rested a hand on his boyfriend's thigh.

               Gerard smiled shyly and looked down for a slight second before returning his focus to the road. "I sure hope so."

               "Stop worrying so much." Frank tapped his fingers on Gerard's thigh a she started to get antsy. 'I fucking hate not driving... sitting here is so boring.'

               Gerard shrugged then pulled into a parking lot in front of a decent-sized shop called 'Ilario's'. "A'ight, we're here," Gerard announced. He looked at Frank as he turned off the car. "Do you maybe want to try on a few suits, too? You don't have to buy anything, but maybe you can see what style you like best?"

               "Ah, no. It's okay," Frank mumbled as he got out of the car, shutting the door behind him before he stepped up to the front of the shop.

               Gerard got out and closed the car door, locking it before walking up to Frank and grabbing his hand. "You sure?" he asked quietly as they walked in. "Mr. Ilario's a very nice man... he won't mind at all, seriously."

               "I don't like trying stuff on for the hell of it. It all looks terrible on me anyway." Frank gave Gerard a look that said to 'Drop it' before staring down at the ground.

               Gerard frowned. "Okay..." he whispered quietly, feeling a small twinge of hurt. 'Maybe I shouldn't have brought him here... He just seems miserable... I hate seeing him like this.'

               Frank looked up when he saw feet coming towards him. He tried to look happy as an older man approached them, but knew he was failing. 'So it begins,' he thought.

               "Mr. Way! So good to see you again!" Mr. Ilario greeted, a big smile forming across his lips as he came up and hugged Gerard tightly. He let go of the tiny teen and put a hand on his shoulder. "Last time I saw you, you were maybe four feet tall!" he laughed, his Italian accent giving way. He looked over to Frank and smiled. "I suppose you're Mr. Iero, yes? No?"

               "Uh, yeah, nice to meet you," Frank said shyly as he let go of Gerard's hand, stepping away a little bit.

               Gerard laughed and looked from Frank to Mr. Ilario before asking, "So, how does this all work?"

               Mr. Ilario laughed. "No worries, no worries, I'll help you as best I can, Mr. Way! What's the occasion? Wedding? Dinner party?"

               "School dance," Gerard replied shyly, glancing down as he shuffled his feet.

               Mr. Ilario nodded. "Here, follow me," he instructed as he turned and hurried towards the back. Gerard grabbed Frank's hand before following the older Italian. Frank held onto Gerard's hand loosely, ready to drop it at the first sign of judgment from anyone. He looked around, noticing the countless racks of suits and other dress wear placed around.

               Gerard looked over to Frank. "You seem nervous," he whispered, looking worried. "You know he knows about us, right? Everyone here does... no one cares; they aren't ones to judge."

               "Sorry... I'm just... defensive around people I don't know," Frank mumbled, trying to get himself to relax.

               Gerard nodded quietly. "When I said Mr. Ilario's a nice man, I seriously meant it. He's a family friend; he won't judge, I promise." They halted towards the end of the shop as Mr. Ilario shifted through a rack of suits. He pulled out two different suits -- a navy American cut and dark grey English cut -- and displayed them.

               "Either of these interest you?" he asked, looking at both Gerard and Frank for an opinion.

               Frank shrugged and looked to Gerard for an answer. "I... don't know what you want."

               Gerard looked at Frank and shrugged, then looked to the suits again. He looked for a few moments before asking, "Can I try them on and see how they look?"

               Mr. Ilario smiled brightly. "Sure! Dressing room is right behind me!" Gerard walked over and Mr. Ilario handed him the suits, and Gerard gave a polite nod and took the suits, then headed into the dressing room. Frank smiled shyly at Mr. Ilario and sat on one of the empty chairs near the dressing room doors.

               Mr. Ilario smiled back politely and leaned against the wall, waiting patiently for Gerard. "So, Mr. Iero, have you ever been to a tailor's before?" Mr. Ilario asked, giving Frank a friendly glance.

               "Uh, no. I never needed to come to one... I'm just here because Gerard asked me," Frank said as he nervously played with the hem of his shirt.

               Mr. Ilario nodded. "Would you like to try on any suits?" he asked politely. "I just don't want you feeling left out, yes?"

               Frank half-laughed, half-snorted. "No, sir. I'm fine... I'll just help Gee out." Frank blushed when he realized he'd used Gerard's nickname in front of a stranger.

               Mr. Ilario laughed. "If you say so, Mr. Iero," he replied with a smile. "If you change your mind, don't hesitate to let me know."

               Gerard walked out of the dressing room with the American cut, sporting a red tie with it. He looked over to Mr. Ilario, then to Frank. "So?" he asked.

               Frank looked at Gerard and stared, trying to get a good look at the suit. "It... looks good. But, uh, try on the other?"

               Gerard nodded, looking down at the outfit he was wearing. "It seems a bit too business-like for a dance," he remarked.

               Mr. Ilario nodded. "Right, right. How's about a look for a few more suits for you to try on that are a little more casual while you try the English cut?"

               Gerard nodded and smiled before heading back into the dressing room. Mr. Ilario looked to Frank. "Would you care to help me look for a few suits, Mr. Iero?" he offered.

               "Sure... I won't be much help, though," Frank warned as he stood up.

               Mr. Ilario laughed. "Now, now, don't doubt yourself!" he encouraged as he turned and walked towards the racks of suits, beckoning Frank to follow. Frank followed carefully behind, glancing at the multiple racks as he walked. Mr. Ilario shot a quick glance to Frank over his shoulder. "If you see one that catches your eye, feel free to grab it," he told the short teen politely before looking back to the racks and sifting through some suits.

               Frank nodded before stepping up to a rack and looking through it, unsure of what exactly he was looking for. 'This is too much pressure for a suit. Why can't he just wear an old one?'

               Mr. Ilario grabbed a few suits before looking over to Frank. "Need some help?" he asked.

               "I-well, what about this one?" Frank asked as he held up the only black suit that he thought looked good on the rack. 'He's gonna know how lacking I am in the suit department,' Frank thought bitterly.

               Mr. Ilario grinned. "Ah, an Italian cut! Good, good!" he praised, walked over and inspecting it. "This is usually a more formal suit, but I think with Mr. Way's body type, this should fit him in a more informal way while complimenting his frame. Yes, yes, very good!" He looked up and smiled at Frank. "Your last name is Italian; you should have more confidence in your ability to find a good outfit. We know how to dress, after all!" He grinned, a hint of humor in his eyes.

               "It was just luck, I'm not really good at clothes shopping." Frank laughed and walked over towards the dressing rooms.

               Mr. Ilario chuckled and shook his head slightly and headed over to towards the dressing room. Gerard stood outside, leaning against the door in the grey English cut, the navy American cut back on the hanger and hanging on his arm. He looked over to Frank and Mr. Ilario and smiled. "So? I dunno about this one; it seems too light for me. In color, that is." He gave a small laugh.

               Frank screwed up his face and nodded. "I agree. It doesn't fit with your vampire-esque skin tone," Frank joked. "Here, we got some more. Try this," Frank said as he handed Gerard the suit he picked out and took the American cut from him.

               Gerard laughed and grabbed the suit from Frank before heading back into the dressing room. Mr. Ilario grinned. "I'm sure the one you picked out will look great on him, Mr. Iero," he encouraged. Frank shrugged and put the suit in his hand back on the rack then sat back down.

               Gerard came out a few minutes later and looked to Frank, then to Mr. Ilario. "Honestly? I like this one the best," he admitted.

               Mr. Ilario gave a laugh. "Well, I think it looks great!" he agreed. "Your beau picked it out."

               Gerard smiled and looked at Frank. "Well? What do you think?"

               "I-you look amazing. That's definitely the one," Frank said, smiling wide.

               Gerard grinned and looked to Mr. Ilario. "I think we've made our verdict," he concluded.

               Mr. Ilario smiled and nodded. "I'll go enter the purchase, then," he replied before turning and heading towards the front.

               Gerard looked back to Frank. "See? This is why I wanted you to come. I told you you'd help."

               "Oh, yeah, now I'll have to fight to keep everyone off you at prom."

               Gerard giggled. "Oh, please. I think pretty much no guy at the school is interested in men, and whoever is, is in the closet and definitely not interested in someone like me." He kissed the tip of Frank's nose. "And I thought I told you, women aren't my thing." He smiled and looked to the dressing room. "I gotta put on my clothes so I can actually buy the suit."

               "Oh, right," Frank said, laughing. He stepped aside to let Gerard into the dressing room.

               Gerard smiled and gave Frank a kiss on the cheek before getting into the dressing room and changing quickly. He came back out, suit in one hand, and grabbed Frank's hand with the free one. "Alright, let's go to the front." Frank nodded and walked to the front, stopping at the large, glass checkout counter.

               Gerard laid the suit on the counter as Mr. Ilario worked on the computer. After a few moments, he took the suit, put it in a bag, and handed it to Gerard. "There you go, Mr. Way," he nodded with a smile. Gerard smiled back and nodded with a "Thanks."

               Frank mumbled a quiet, "Thanks," and started towards the door, ready to be done with the shopping. Gerard took the bag and grabbed Frank's hand, saying goodbye to Mr. Ilario before walking out the door and towards the car.

               Frank hurried to the car and stood by the door and bounced up and down to keep warm. "Hurry up, asshole!"

               Gerard laughed and unlocked the car before climbing in and setting the suit in the back seat. He buckled himself in and started up the car, closing the door behind him.

               "So, there's still some time in the day left," Gerard pointed out. "Do you wanna go do something, go back to my place, or do you want me to take you home?"

               Frank hopped in the car and shut the door before buckling himself in. "We can do whatever you want, I'm in no hurry to get back."

               Gerard shrugged. "Well, my parents are out for lunch, and Mikey's out on a date with Ray--" Gerard bit his tongue and ducked, feeling his face burn. 'Shit, shit, shit, I wasn't supposed to tell anyone.'

               Frank's eyes widened. "Wait what? When did that happen?"

               Gerard shifted in his seat and looked down, beating himself up for slipping the secret. "Uhm... they, uhm... they started going out the day after we did," Gerard mumbled, chewing on his lip. "Mikey told me a while back... but he wanted me to keep quiet about it."

               "Oh. Well. That's good for them, I guess."

               Gerard chewed on his lip some more. "Yeah... uhm... don't mention to either of them that I told you, okay?"

               "Are you kidding? I'm gonna call them right now!" Frank said as he reached in his pocket and took out his phone.

               Gerard jumped and grabbed Frank's hand. "No!" he gasped. 'I don't care if it's a joke, I promised not to tell anyone.'

               "Babe, I'm kidding. I wouldn't do that to you."

               Gerard swallowed and nodded, slowly letting go of Frank's hand and shifting back to his seat, looking down. "S-so what do you wanna do?"

               Frank shoved his phone back in his pocket and shrugged. "I'm not sure...you have anything in mind?"

               Gerard shook his head. "Not really. I was just going to head back home since it's cold out... maybe grab a coffee on the way."

               "As long as I can come along, I'm game."

               Gerard laughed. "Well duh," he replied as he pulled out of the parking lot and started towards home. "You want some coffee, too?"

               "I could go for a cup, yeah," Frank said, smiling.

               Gerard smiled back. "Sounds good. Any place you have in mind?"

               "Take me to your favorite place."

               Gerard laughed. "Well, there's this local coffee shop that has amazing brews."

               "Let's do it then!" Frank turned on the radio and leaned back in his seat.

               Gerard laughed again and smiled, heading towards the coffee shop. A few minutes later, they arrived. "Do you wanna go in, or have me run in and grab our coffees and go?"

               "Hmm, you go in, I'd rather stay warm," Frank laughed.

               Gerard grinned. "Well, tell me what you want, and I'll go get it, then."

               "Surprise me, I'll like whatever you get."

               Gerard smiled and nodded before quickly getting out, leaving the car on, and running into the shop. He came out about ten minutes later with two cups of coffee. After he reached the car, he peered in and looked at Frank, hoping his boyfriend would realize his hands were full. Frank looked at Gerard through the window and slowly reached over to open the door for him. When he opened it, he sat back in his seat, laughing hysterically. Gerard climbed in, shooting Frank a playful glare.

               "I should pour this on your crotch for that," he threatened jokingly, handing Frank his coffee.

               "You wouldn't do that, it'd punish you as well," Frank said as he blew on his coffee, trying to cool it down.

               "I'd be just fine," Gerard replied with a smirk before blowing on his coffee and taking a sip.

               "Oh, really? Gonna go back to jacking off in the dark by yourself? That's no fun!"

               Gerard blushed and sipped his coffee some more. "No, I was thinking you could do that for me."

               "Gimme a rain check, I'm busy,' Frank teased before taking a sip from his own cup.

               Gerard laughed. "Well, cancel your plans, because I come first!"

               Frank rolled his eyes and glanced sideways at Gerard. "You almost always come first."

               "Good," Gerard replied with a playful smirk before taking another drink of his coffee.

               Frank took a full on drink from his cup and nearly moaned from the warmth of it. "This is really good, holy shit."

               Gerard laughed. "Well, yeah, that's why I love to get it!" he responded before taking another drink.

               "You should pick things for me more often. I obviously can't make decisions."

               Gerard giggled. "I should make the decisions? I'm not sure you'd be happy with that," he teased, taking another drink before setting it in the cup holder and starting to drive back home.

               "Why wouldn't I be?" Frank asked as he took another drink, being sure not to spill anything.

               "Oh, no reason," Gerard simply replied with a smirk, turning down his street.

               "You'll have to tell me eventually, you know I hate when you start something and don't finish."

               Gerard giggled. "Maybe one day," he teased as he pulled into the driveway. Frank shot Gerard a dirty look before unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car.

               Gerard grinned and got out of the car, grabbing his coffee and taking a big drink before shutting the door and locking it, then making his way to the front door. Frank stood behind Gerard, trying to stay warm as he held his coffee in both hands. "Open the door, open the door. Gerard? Open the door," Frank repeated, dying to get inside.

               Gerard laughed as he pulled out his keys. "You're so impatient," he teased as he unlocked and opened the door, stepping aside to let Frank in first.

               "Goddamn right I am! It's fucking freezing!" Frank shuffled inside before plopping down on the couch, worn out and tired.

               Gerard giggled and closed the door behind him, setting his coffee on the kitchen counter before heading into the living room and looking down at Frank, raising an eyebrow. "Can I have some room?"

               "Nope, I claim this spot," Frank said as he reached over and set his cup on a coaster on a side table. Gerard crossed his arms for a moment before climbing onto the couch, practically on top of Frank, and snuggling close to him. "Wow, thanks for respecting my personal space," Frank joked as he wrapped his arms around Gerard.

               "You have no personal space, I own it," Gerard teased, burying his face into Frank's shoulder.

               "Excuse you. No one owns me. I'm a free man!"

               Gerard wrapped his arms tightly around Frank and pulled his as close as possible. "Not anymore!"

               Frank pretended to struggle against Gerard's grip. "I want to break free! I am a strong, short Italian who don't need no man!"

               Gerard giggled and nibbled on Frank's neck. "You can't escape now! You belong to me!"

               "Fine! I give up! Do what you want with me, I'm broken," Frank said as he went completely limp.

               Gerard nuzzled and kissed Frank's neck a bit. "I wouldn't suggest offering that," he whispered with a smirk.

               "And why not?"

               Gerard kissed up and down Frank's neck more. "Oh... no reason."

               Frank shivered as a slight chill ran up his spine. "You're not finishing your thoughts again."

               Gerard pushed himself closer to Frank. "Oh, I'm finishing my thoughts... Just in my head," Gerard teased, nuzzling Frank's neck again. "You cold?"

               "Kinda... not too cold, though."

               "Cold enough to want to get under the covers?"

               "I'm always cold enough for that," Frank laughed.

Gerard giggled a bit, then pulled away. "Well, we'll have to go _upstairs_ then."

               "Way ahead of you," Frank said before pushing Gerard away and hurrying up the stairs.

               Gerard laughed and ran after Frank, making his way up the stairs as quick as he could manage. By the time Gerard made it upstairs, Frank had shed all of his clothes and was hidden under the covers on Gerard's bed, trying to catch his breath. Gerard got into the room and closed the door, quietly locking it before looking and seeing a lump under the covers. "Frank, really?" he laughed before starting to make his way over. He almost tripped, then looked down and saw Frank's pants. He blushed. _'Well, someone's pretty direct,'_ he thought to himself and began to take off his shirt as he made his way to the bed. Frank giggled and poked his head out from the covers to look at Gerard. Gerard started to undo his belt and looked up, spotting Frank. "Get back under the covers, you, and wait," he demanded in a tease with a smirk.

               Frank furrowed his brow and obeyed, covering himself completely once again. Gerard giggled and got his pants off the rest of the way before climbing into bed and getting under the covers, shifting to get himself comfortable. Frank smiled and immediately crawled on top of Gerard. "You're really slow, ya know that?"

             Gerard looked up at Frank, wide-eyed with surprise and blushed deeply before craning his neck upwards and kissing Frank's lips. "Nah, I just like to take my time to tease you."

             "But I don't _want_ to be teased," Frank said, pouting.

             "Well, there's no more teasing now."

             "Promise?" Frank asked before leaning down and kissing Gerard.

              Gerard gave a small whimper and closed his eyes, kissing back. "Promise."

              Frank smirked and eased his tongue into Gerard's mouth, deepening the kiss as he reached down and ghosted his fingers over Gerard's dick. Gerard gave another whimper and raised his hips slightly as he kissed back, putting his hands on Frank's sides. Frank adjusted his position and wrapped his hand around Gerard loosely, stroking him a few times.

             Gerard gave a soft moan as he felt his breath begin to get light, running his hands lightly down Frank's sides. Frank nibbled on Gerard's neck as he tightened his grip slightly, stroking slowly. Gerard began to pant, licking his lips slowly as he ran his hands up and down Frank's sides, relaxing his body. Frank continued to stroke Gerard slowly before moving down and licking the tip of his cock. Gerard gasped and bit his lip, reaching down and threading his fingers through Frank's hair. Frank licked up the underside of the shaft before slowly taking Gerard into his mouth and starting to suck lightly.

             Gerard clenched his teeth and let out a low groan, tugging slightly on Frank's hair. Frank tightened his grip on the base of Gerard's cock and began to suck harder, his head bobbing up and down in quick motions. Gerard raised his hips a bit, whimpering and moaning. Frank continued to suck quickly and reached his free hand up and rested a finger on Gerard's lips, hoping he'd take the hint. Gerard snaked out his tongue and ran it across the tip of Frank's finger before taking it into his mouth and sucking gently.

             Frank let Gerard suck on his finger a moment longer before taking it out of his mouth. He deep throated Gerard as he slowly inserted his index finger into the other teen, moving it in and out a few times. Gerard threw his head back and gave a loud moan, his hips rising as Frank took all of him in and fingered him. He bit down on his lip, his body twisting slightly. _'God... I can't last much longer like this... fuck, he's so good.'_ Frank sucked harder, his cheeks hollowing as he inserted another finger, trying to hit Gerard's prostate. Gerard tried to clench his teeth to keep himself quiet, but was unable to hold back a loud groan. " _Fuck_ , Frank... Oh, my fucking _God_... I'm so... damn... close..."

            Frank smirked and quickly deep throated Gerard a few times as he moved his fingers in and out faster. Gerard's pants became louder and rougher as Frank continued, feeling his back arch. He ran his fingers through Frank's hair, gasping out his boyfriend's name as he finally came. Frank stroked Gerard a few more times, swallowing everything he was given before pulling off and removing his fingers.

            Gerard's body relaxed as he panted heavily, staring up at the ceiling, dizzy. Frank wiped off his mouth on the back of his hand and crawled back up near Gerard, resting his head on a pillow and closing his eyes. Gerard waited a few moments to catch his breath before shifting closer to Frank and wrapping his arms around him. Frank smiled and snuggled into Gerard, twirling his fingers around a lock of his boyfriend's hair. Gerard nuzzled Frank's shoulder gently, running his hands slowly down Frank's sides. Frank sighed in relaxation and pulled the sheet up around him, suddenly feeling very exposed to the cold. 

            Gerard rested his forehead on Frank's shoulder as he grabbed around his hips, moving one hand across. Frank leaned into Gerard and pressed one hand to his boyfriend's chest. Gerard gave a slight smirk before wrapping his finger's gently around Frank's cock, giving it a small squeeze and a quick stroke. Frank's eyes flashed open as he let out a loud gasp.

           Gerard bit down softly on Frank's shoulder as he began to stroke slowly, gradually picking up the pace. Frank dug his nails slightly into Gerard's chest as he stared at the wall, a moan escaping him. Gerard bit down harder as he began to stroke faster, tightening his grip. Frank moaned louder and began to buck into Gerard's grip.

           Gerard began to lick Frank's neck before biting down and then sucking gently on the soft skin, stroking faster as he gave an occasional squeeze. Frank felt a fire start around his hips as he wrapped his arm around Gerard's torso, emitting a low groan. Gerard sucked on Frank's neck more as he continued to stroke him, tightening his grip more and giving long, quick strokes. "Gerard, I-oh fuck!" Frank couldn't finish what he was saying before he was moaning loudly and bucking desperately into Gerard's hand as he came. Gerard continued to stroke Frank until he finished, then slowly took his hand from his boyfriend's cock, removing his lips from the other's neck.

           Frank rolled onto his back and breathed in and out deeply as he struggled to catch his breath. Gerard gently nuzzled Frank before reaching over into the nightstand drawer and pulling out a rag, wiping off his hand. He handed it to Frank. "I think you might, uhm... need this."

          "Oh, yeah, thanks," Frank mumbled as he cleaned himself off. Gerard gently smiled and kissed Frank's cheek before lying down next to him and closing his eyes. "When are your parents coming home?"

          Gerard shrugged. "They didn't say... they made it sound like they'd be out all day," he mumbled, eyes still closed.

          "Oh, well, I'm leaving soon anyway," Frank whispered.

          Gerard opened his eyes and looked at Frank. "What? Why?"

          "I just have to get home," Frank said as he sat up.

          Gerard sighed and sat himself up. "Oh... I was hoping we could nap for a bit. But if you have to..."

         "You can nap. I gotta go." Frank crawled over Gerard and stood up and began to get dressed, keeping his back to his boyfriend the whole time.

         "Uhm. Frank, I drove you. I gotta drive you back. So, no, I can't nap." Gerard got up and started to pull his clothes on, glancing over at Frank. "Any reason you're being so avoidant all of a sudden?"

        "I can walk," Frank said quietly as he pulled his shoes on.

        Gerard got his clothes on the rest of the way and walked over to Frank, resting a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder. "Frank, what's wrong? And don't say 'nothing', because _something's_ up."

       "I just... don't feel well, that's all." Frank stood up and put his coat on and stared at the ground.

       "Frank, _please_... tell me what's wrong," Gerard insisted. "And don't lie to me."

       "I feel... not right... dirty." Frank sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry... I just _need_ to get home."

        Gerard sighed. "At least let me drive you home... I don't want you out in the cold."

        "No, I'd rather walk," Frank said as he started down the hall.

       " _Frank_ ," Gerard sighed as he followed his boyfriend. At catching up to him, he put a hand on the younger teen's shoulder. "You'll get sick; please let me drive you home."

       "Fine. Just... fine. Let's go." Frank made his way down the stairs and outside to stand by the car.

        Gerard sighed and got down the stairs, unlocking the car as he walked out the door, locking the door behind him. He trotted over and quickly got into the driver's seat, turning on the car as he shut the door. Frank climbed into the car and pulled the heavy door shut. He leaned against the window and waited for Gerard to drive. Gerard pulled out of the driveway and began down the road towards Frank's. "So, care to explain your sudden shift in mood?"

       "No. It has nothing to do with you," Frank murmured.

       "But it's worrying me," Gerard insisted. "Frank. Please. I'm your boyfriend. You can tell me."

       "It's just... that feeling I get when I think back to what happened when I was younger. I'm really sorry... I always fuck things up." Frank sighed and looked down.

       "Frank... you don't fuck things up. It was... a bad part of your past." Gerard slowed the car to a stop as they hit a red light. He turned to Frank. "Look at me for a second... please?" Frank reluctantly looked at Gerard, his eyes red and puffy, threatening tears. Gerard looked Frank in the eyes, his gaze calm and soft, even though he could feel his heart twisting. "He's gone now, okay? He can't hurt you in any way now... just... whenever you start to remember that... remember that _I'm_ not that way. _I_ won't force you into anything you're uncomfortable with. You're with _me_ now, and I'll do everything I can to make sure you stay safe."

        Frank lowered his gaze to his lap and felt a few tears fall. "I know that, Gerard. You've been really good with understanding and all that. I just can't help it... every time I feel good from sex, I think of how he would mock me. He'd say I wanted it because I wouldn't respond like that if I didn't. It's not like I think of him during... it's just after... when everything has calmed down."

       Gerard pulled the car to the side of the road and shifted over to Frank, calmly resting a hand on his arm and giving him a soft kiss on the head. "Well, he can't mock you now... and whatever he would say was wrong, okay? He was a liar, and a filthy, horrible excuse of a human being at that. _You_ know what you want and don't want... _You_ run your life. Don't let him run yours." He gently wrapped his arms around Frank and rested his head on Frank's shoulder. "I understand it's hard... that's a scarring experience... it's nothing you can just brush off. But please let me help you somehow... I hate seeing you like this."

       Frank shook his head as he began to cry softly. "There's nothing you can do to help... it's a part of my psyche that's broken and can't be fixed."

       Gerard hugged Frank closer. "Anything broken can be fixed..." he whispered. "It just takes patience and time..."

       "I've tried... nothing works."

       Gerard gave Frank a soft kiss on the head. "Then let me try," he encouraged. "Give me a chance. Trust me. And let me try... I can't make promises, but I can do my best... And it may take a while, but it can be fixed."

       Frank shook his head and kept his eyes to his lap. "You can try... I just don't know what you're aiming to do..."

      "To help you move on... because you're stuck in the past. You're stuck on that time. And you can't stay that way your whole life... it'll ruin you. And I don't want that."

       Frank sighed and scooted away and leaned against the car door. "Okay... just... can you take me home now?"

       Gerard frowned and stared at Frank for a few moments. "Frank?"

       "Gerard, _please_. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

        Gerard sighed. "Frank... did... your parents ever do anything about it?"

        Frank shifted uncomfortably and wrapped his arms around himself. "There's nothing they _could_  do," he said quietly.

        Gerard blinked and looked at Frank worriedly. "They did nothing? No psychological help? Did they even contact the school about it?"

       "No. It wouldn't have fixed anything... it was too late by the time I told them."

       "Frank..." Gerard chewed on his lip. "This is serious... it doesn't matter _when_ you told them... they still need to get you help. And he needs to be out of his teaching job and in federal prison. It's a crime, and it doesn't matter how long ago it was, it's _still_ a crime."

      "No, Gerard," Frank said sternly. "I don't want to dig all of this up again. It's only going to make things worse."

      "Things get worse before they get better," Gerard answered, his tone firm. "And it's already dug up because it's _still_ affecting you." Frank leaned against the door as much as he could, his body almost completely facing away from Gerard. He shook his head and stayed silent, wanting desperately to drop the subject. Gerard shifted a bit closer and put a hand softly on Frank's shoulder. "Frank," he whispered, trying his best to keep his tone even. "I don't think they realize how much the whole thing impacted you... You need help. You're only going to get worse if you don't... and the last thing I want to see is you breaking down because you never got anything solved. _Please_. I want to help you... Even if we eventually go our separate ways... I love you too much to let this continue to eat at you."

      "It doesn't bother me _that_ much. It's not like I can't function or anything."

      "But it's affected you enough that you can't move on. That's unhealthy, Frank." Gerard swallowed the lump in his throat, blinking back tears.

      "Why won't you drop it? I said it's not a big deal and I don't want to talk about it," Frank snapped.

      "Because it _is_ a big deal, Frank!" Gerard choked, mentally beating himself as a few tears fell. "It just keeps coming back... it's starting to affect our relationship... and it's going to affect _any_ relationship you'll have, Frank... _please_..." Gerard looked down at the seat, hoping Frank wouldn't turn back and see his tears.

      "What the fuck do you want me to do? It was so long ago, Gerard! No one cares or even remembers it happening!"

       " _I_ care! And your parents do, too!" Gerard pushed, a realization hitting him. _'His dad... it's not that he's an asshole... he's just scared for his son... damn it...'_

       "Gerard, please stop. I just want to go home!" Frank closed his eyes, wishing it all would end. _'Why can't he just leave it alone?'_

        Gerard sighed and shook his head. _'I said I was going to help him... and I'm going to. Whether he likes it or not.'_ He moved back to his own seat and started to drive back to Frank's house, silent as he drowned himself in thought. _'I just hope they listen... God I hope they do... I know they've probably got a death wish on me from the last time I was over... but even if they hate me, they love Frank. I just hope they won't shut me out before I can try to help...'_

        Frank stared out the window and watched the scenes blur past, letting his thoughts drift to nothingness. Gerard finally pulled into Frank's driveway, his head spinning slightly as his stomach twisted. He swallowed hard, feeling sick, shaking all over. _'I have to talk to them... even if it kills me.'_

       Once Frank felt the car stop, he unbuckled his seat belt and pushed the door open before stumbling onto the driveway. He shut the door behind him and grabbed his keys from his pocket as he walked to the porch. Gerard immediately shut off the car and got out, closing the door and locking it. He then followed Frank, unsure of what his boyfriend would say or do. Frank stopped at his front door and turned around when he heard footsteps behind him. "What are you doing?"

       "I'm going in with you," Gerard answered, his tone firm as he focused his gaze on Frank, unwavering. _'I'm not backing down.'_

       "The fuck you are! My dad is home; get in your car! Are you fucking stupid?!"

       Gerard kept his gaze even, his jaw tightened. "If he's home, that's all the better," Gerard replied. _'And by all the better I mean I'm fucking scared shitless.'_

      "Do you have a death wish? You _know_ how my dad feels about you," Frank said, his mind feeling fuzzy and confused.

      "He can hate my guts and condemn my soul to hell if he wishes, but he loves you," Gerard answered, trying his best not to shake. "I don't care if he wants to murder me and throw my body in the river; this isn't about me. It's about you."

      "Gerard, no. Please, not today. I'm not ready..."

      Gerard walked up to Frank and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're never going to feel ready," he said firmly, "and honestly, neither will I. But putting it off will only make things worse on both our parts."

      Frank sighed and turned towards the door before unlocking it and stepping inside, immediately spotting his parents on the couch watching TV. He stayed close to the outer edge of the room, half hoping his presence would go unnoticed. Gerard walked in and stood beside Frank. He swallowed dryly and took a deep breath, forcing back his panic. He rolled his shoulders and narrowed his gaze, trying to seem as calm as possible. "Mr. and Mrs. Iero?"

       Frank's parents both turned their gaze towards the two boys, confusion written all over their faces. Frank looked down and played with the hem of his shirt, unsure of what to do. "Hi, uhm, Gerard. What are you doing here?" Mrs. Iero asked, fearing her husband would say something horrible if she didn't speak up first.

       "We need to talk," Gerard replied firmly, starting to feel sick. _'Fuck, the last time I was over here I was practically trying to murder their son. Shit, why did I think this was a good idea? I'm just a dumbass. Fuck, fuck, fuck.'_

       "Well you better speak quickly. I want you out of here in five fucking minutes," Frank's dad spat. Frank's shoulders hunched as he heard the words, making him want to push Gerard out the door to get him away from his dad as soon as possible.

        Gerard turned his gaze to stare Frank's father straight in the eyes. "Mr. Iero. I understand you hate me. And I don't blame you for most likely wanting me dead, especially after the last... incident. But _please_. Hear me out. This is for the sake of your son. And if by the end of this, you still want me dead... then do as you please. I won't even try to fight back. But something _needs_ to be done."

         Frank's dad was about to say something but was cut off by his wife. "Please, Gerard, sit down and say what you need to," Mrs. Iero said, motioning to the loveseat across from them. Frank shuffled towards the small couch and sat down, never once looking at his parents.

         Gerard nodded quietly and took a seat next to Frank. He took a deep breath. "A while back, Frank told me about a... situation that happened when he was younger. In third grade." He resisted the urge to start biting his lip, like he usually did when he became nervous.

         Frank's parents were quiet for a moment, his father's gaze narrowing as his mother's expression turned to a frown. "Frank, you know better than to tell people about that! What were you thinking?" Mr. Iero shouted. Frank closed his eyes and shifted away from his father, afraid his voice would fail him if he tried to talk.

        "Mr. Iero, please." Gerard stared back at Frank's father, his gaze sharpening. "First off, _yelling_ at him won't solve anything. Secondly... he _needs_ help. And the teacher..." Gerard lowered his gaze and swallowed dryly before looking back up at Frank's parents. "My father is a lawyer... he deals with a _lot_ of cases. And he's not one to fail. That teacher needs to be out of his job and in a prison cell to rot," Gerard continued, his voice growing cold as he remembered the look in Frank's eyes when he confessed to him what happened. "The fact that he got away with what he did is unacceptable. And it's hurt your son."

         Mrs. Iero looked to her husband, unsure of what to say to all of this. Frank's dad crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Gerard. "He isn't hurt. Not anymore. He's fine, the only problem he had was you."

        Gerard set his jaw firm, continuing to stare back at Frank's father. "No,/I'm not the problem here," he replied sternly. "What happened is a traumatizing experience and it _will_ continue to affect him unless he receives some kind of psychological help. He _is_ hurt, and he _isn't_ fine." Gerard took a deep breath, trying his best to somehow get through to Frank's father. "I know you love your son, Mr. Iero. And you want what's best for him. And you're scared for him. You're his _father_ , I wouldn't expect less. I know you care about him. I do, too, and whether you want to believe me on that or not is your choice. But can't you see that something needs to be done about this?"

       "No, I don't see anything needs to be done. He's never shown us that he's hurting in any way. He's healthy, he isn't depressed, he acts normal."

       "Because you force him to!" Gerard snapped. "My parents thought I was normal too until I tried to overdose and then jump off a goddamn bridge!" He bit his lip and looked down, mentally slapping himself for losing his temper. "Teenagers don't like talking to their parents. They don't like admitting something is getting the best of them. We don't just come out and say, 'Hey, I'm feeling depressed and I can't move on from my past,' _especially_ not to parents. So of course he seems just fine; the best skill any teenager has is lying. But look at him right now -- does that look 'normal'? Does that look 'okay' or 'fine'?" Gerard looked over at Frank, feeling his heart break as he stared over at him.

        Mr. Iero stood up and glared down at Gerard. "You need to leave. Now," he said firmly.

        Frank's mom stood as well and put a hand on her husband's shoulder. "Gerard, I think it best that you head home before anything escalates. Thanks for coming and talking to us, we'll handle everything," she said, trying her best to look comforting and confident at the same time.

        Gerard looked up and gazed back at Frank's father. "I'm not leaving until something is fixed," he replied sternly. "Even if that means you beating the living _shit_ out of me."

        "Nothing can be fixed right this minute, kid. We'll fucking take care of it, now go home." Frank looked up at Gerard and silently begged him to give in and leave.

         Gerard shook his head and continued to stare at Frank's father, cursing himself as he felt a few tears begin to fall. "But I want to know something will be done," he replied, his voice breaking. He looked down and buried his face in his hands. "I just... I hate seeing that scared look in his eyes... that fear when a teacher raises their voice or approaches in a stern way... all I want is for him to feel safe... I want to make that pain go away... It hurts... and I just want to know he'll be okay." _'Fuck, why can't I control my emotions?'_

         Frank's dad stared down at the two teens for a moment, his expression unreadable. "We'll get him into a therapist to see if anything's _really_ going on. We'll do what's best for our son. That's all I can do right now, alright? Now, please go, my family and I have a lot to discuss. Thank you for uh... bringing this to our attention... whatever this is." With that, Mr. Iero walked out of the room, his wife trailing behind him. Frank stared at his parents, wondering why his dad hadn't reacted violently.

         Gerard shook his head and wiped his tears. _'Please tell me I got through to them somehow,_ ' he begged silently as he stood up and looked down at Frank, then to the ground. "I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to get so emotional... I just..." Gerard shook his head and wiped his eyes again. "I'll leave now," he whispered quietly.

          Frank stood up and walked to the front door silently and held it open for Gerard. Gerard followed Frank to the door and looked up at him for a moment before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and hugging him as tightly as he could manage. After a few seconds he let the other teen go, then walked out without a word and climbed silently into his car, pulling out of the driveway and making his way back to his own house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized after writing this that some people may be confused as to what Frank was talking about when he said "I just can't help it... every time I feel good from sex, I think of how he would mock me. He'd say I wanted it because I wouldn't respond like that if I didn't." I didn't really spell it out in the fic, but it's safe to assume that the teacher/Frank scenario happened for a while and escalated beyond inappropriate touching. Sorry for not being too clear on that. IF anyone has questions about any plot lines or anything, go to http://headfirstforieros.tumblr.com/ask and ask me whatever you feel like! Also-this story is almost over and I'm very sorry about that. Maybe an epilogue or sequel or something could happen if people rioted enough. We'll see.
> 
> ALSO-IMPORTANT!!!!  
> I'm looking for people to do some fanart for this fic. Like it would make my life and I'd put it at the beginning of whatever chapter inspires the art. I don't care what style it's in but please make it decent. I'll credit you and everything and if you have a tumblr, I'll promo you to my over 3000 followers. Kthanks.


	31. No One Will Be Watching Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why don't we do it in the road?  
> No one will be watching us  
> Why don't we do it in the road?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Why Don't We Do It In The Road?" by The Beatles

              Frank stood inside of the school, near the doors that led into the courtyard. He leaned against the wall, waiting for Gerard. As Gerard made his way out to lunch, he saw Frank standing by the doors. He walked over to him, looking down, worried about how things went after he left. "Hey, uhm... I was hoping we could stay inside today... it's really cold and I'm already starting to feel sick. I don't wanna push it," Frank said as he shifted his bag onto his shoulder.

               Gerard looked up and Frank and nodded. "Where should we go, then?"

               "The band room's open," Frank stated as he turned to walk down the hall. Gerard nodded and quietly followed behind Frank, wondering what happened, but too afraid to ask. Frank pushed open the heavy doors to the band room and stepped in, flicking on the light as he went. He sat on one of the chairs and waited for Gerard to catch up.

               Gerard quietly made his way into the band room and sat down next to Frank, shifting his feet a bit. "So... how did yesterday go?"

               "I got talked to... a lot," Frank said as he pulled out his lunch.

               Gerard blinked. "About?" He cleared his throat. "If you want to share, that is..."

               "They made me talk about everything that happened in third grade..."

               "And?"

               "And I have an appointment for a therapist. That's it." Frank sighed as he began to unwrap his food and eat it.

               Gerard sat and stared at the ground. "Promise?"

               "What do you mean do I promise? Yes, there's an appointment. Why would I lie?"

               "To make me feel better," Gerard replied quietly.

               "Well... I'm not lying so." Frank turned his direction back to his food, unsure of what else to say.

               "What did your dad say?"

               "About what?"

               Gerard shrugged. "Just... about any of it?"

               "He said he still doesn't want me with any guy."

               Gerard sighed and stared quietly, his thoughts blurry. "And you said?"

               "I didn't say anything," Frank shrugged.

               Gerard stayed silent, not sure of what else to say. "I presume he still hates me?"

               "No, he doesn't hate you."

               Gerard blinked and looked up at Frank. "Frank... unless he said such, don't assume he doesn't... I don't blame him, okay? Your whole experience when you were younger probably makes him scared of you being with a guy because you could just get hurt again... or so he thinks. Plus, last time I was over... yeah... that wasn't a pretty situation either."

               "He said he can see you care, he just doesn't want me to see you. It's not personal; he just thinks I'm with guys because it's all I've known. I don't know where he gets that; I've had girlfriends, but he won't listen." Frank sighed and set his food down, too anxious to eat.

               Gerard sighed, staring at the ground. "I'll avoid going to your house like usual... but... can we still stay together?"

               "No, I'm breaking up with you. I want to have sex with girls again, I obviously missed it. Not like I switched to having a boyfriend or anything," Frank said, rolling his eyes.

               Gerard looked down and shrugged. "Well... I mean... I didn't know if you would listen to your father or not."

               "Have I been listening to him the past week? I don't think hand jobs in the car count as not being with a guy."

               Gerard turned a deep shade of red. "I-I guess," he mumbled, shifting his feet a bit.

               "Exactly. So stop worrying." Frank began to eat again, taking small bites. Gerard sighed and stared quietly at his lap. "Come on, Gerard, what's wrong?" Gerard sighed and shook his head. "Talk to me... please?" Frank turned to look directly at Gerard.

               Gerard shrugged. "I just... I wish I could apologize to your dad for all the things I said about him and to him. I feel like an idiot for not realizing sooner that he wasn't trying to be an asshole, he was just worried about your safety."

               "It doesn't really matter... just don't worry about it."

               Gerard sighed. "But it does. To me, at least. I shouldn't have said any of those things."

               "Well, next time we have you for dinner, you can tell him," Frank half-joked.

               Gerard winced. "It wouldn't go as well as when you had dinner with _my_ family."

               "Yeah, well, sorry my family isn't so... civilized."

               Gerard flinched. "That is _not_ what I meant. You didn't call my father a dictator and a prick before having dinner with him. Nor did you strangle his son and call him names in front of him."

               "Yeah... that may make for interesting conversation at the table, huh?" Frank laughed quietly, trying to lighten the mood.

               Gerard sighed and shook his head. "How the hell do I explain that? 'Oh, sorry, it was just a fit of rage that caused me to go ballistic, call you names, and attack your son! Sorry!'"

               "Gerard, calm down, it's not like that's something we have to worry about right now."

               Gerard shrugged. "I guess so."

               "Come on; please don't be so upset... I hate seeing you like this," Frank said, his face falling a bit.

               Gerard chewed his lip. "I just..." He shook his head and sighed. "I'm sorry. I've just been thinking a lot. I'll be okay, alright?" He looked up at Frank and gave a small smile, hoping to reassure his boyfriend.

               "Well, stop thinking so much; you're gonna hurt yourself," Frank teased.

               Gerard laughed a bit. " _Please_ , it's easier than trying to make my mind go blank."

               "Oh, the poor, tortured artist. Never a moment of rest!"

               Gerard laughed again and pushed Frank's arm softly. "You wouldn't understand my pain and suffering!" Gerard feigned, "No one does!"

               "Oh, here, let me play the world's saddest song on the world's smallest violin for you," Frank said as he pouted and pushed his fingers together, pretending to play the instrument.

               Gerard giggled and shouldered Frank again before hugging him. "Oh, shut up, you, I don't need your pity."

               "Oh, now you don't need me? I see how it is!"

               "No, I do need you! Every artist needs their model!"

               "Most artists use _nude_ models," Frank pointed out.

               Gerard raised an eyebrow. "Your point?"

               "I've never been naked long enough to be your model. So, no, you don't need me." Frank stuck out his tongue playfully.

               "We can change that," Gerard replied with a smirk before kissing the tip of Frank's nose.

               "Are you going to finally draw me like one of your French girls?" Frank asked, wriggling his eyebrows.

               Gerard giggled and buried his face into Frank's shoulder. "Maaaybe."

               "I've never understood the whole 'drawing someone naked' thing. What do you even do with the pictures when you're done?"

               "That's a secret for only artists to know," Gerard whispered before giggling and nuzzling Frank.

               "Oh, you elitist assholes," Frank said, rolling his eyes and laughing.

               Gerard grinned and kissed Frank's cheek before softly resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. Frank ran his fingers through Gerard's hair for a few minutes as he dazed in an out of reality. When he heard the large band room doors opening and closing, he twitched and pushed Gerard away, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. Two students walked in and went into the closet where the instruments were kept. _'What the fuck are they doing in here? No one ever fucking comes in here!'_

               Gerard pulled away as Frank pushed and looked up. "Did the bell ring?" he whispered to Frank, confused.

               "No, I guess some kids just wanted to get some shit from the closet."

               Gerard blinked and looked down with a sigh. _'People just like to ruin everything, don't they?_ '

               A few seconds later, the kids walked out of the room, each of them carrying a large case. Frank sighed and relaxed in his seat again before glancing at the clock. "We have about ten minutes left."

               Gerard nodded quietly and looked around. "Uhm... do you want to maybe escort me to my next class?" he asked, hoping Frank would get the hint.

               "Don't I always walk you to class... or at least somewhere near it?" Frank asked as he gathered up his stuff.

               Gerard grabbed his things and stood up. "Yeah, but I just wanted to make sure."

               Frank stood up and walked into the hallway, holding the large door open for Gerard. Gerard nodded politely and walked out of the classroom, then stood and waited for Frank. Frank walked up to Gerard and casually grabbed his hand, holding it in between their bodies so no one could see as they walked towards Gerard's next class. Gerard walked close to Frank, his gaze lowered slightly as they made their way down the hall, just happy to be with his boyfriend. Frank stopped right outside of Gerard's classroom and released his hand. "You're gonna be early to class," he pointed out.

               Gerard shrugged and leaned against a locker, looking down the empty hall. "I didn't really want to go to class more so than I wanted to get away from people."

               "Why?" Frank asked, confused.

               Gerard shrugged again. "I don't like being around other people because you feel uncomfortable showing affection in front of them."

               "I-oh. I'm sorry..." Frank looked to the ground, feeling guilty.

               Gerard shook his head, leaned forward, and kissed Frank on the lips. "Don't be. That's what you aren't comfortable with. It's not your fault."

               "It kinda is... it's my own hang up. I'm working on it though..."

               Gerard pulled Frank into a hug and rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, closing his eyes. "I just want you to be comfortable... even if it means holding back a bit in public."

               Frank sighed and hugged Gerard back tightly. "You're perfect to me, you know that? I don't think many other people would be so understanding and not pushy about things like this."

               Gerard smiled softly. "I just want what's best for you... You've done so much for me. I don't know anyone who would stick around with a depressed, suicidal druggie, and stay so loyal." He kissed Frank's cheek lightly.

               "Well, those _are_ the character traits of the typical rock star, maybe that's just my fetish," Frank joked.

               Gerard laughed and hugged Frank tighter. "Maybe one day," he whispered.

               Frank jumped when he heard the bell ring, catching him off guard. "Holy shit, I was _not_ ready for that," he said, laughing at how stupid he was being.

               Gerard giggled and quickly kissed his boyfriend on the lips before anyone started showing up. "Well, I guess you should head back to the band room," he sighed.

               Frank pulled away and adjusted his bag. "Yeah, have fun at... whatever this fucking class is."

               Gerard laughed and kissed Frank quickly on the cheek. "It's my second to last class before I see you again," he said. "That's all that matters."

               "Jesus, you're so _clingy_. Good thing I like it. I'll see you when we're free from this torture," Frank said as he started down the hall. Gerard giggled and waved before walking into the classroom.

                Frank stood outside of Gerard's class, waiting for him to come out. He shifted all of the books in his arms and sighed heavily. _'Why is he so slow?'_ Gerard was the last to walk out of the classroom, and nearly ran straight into Frank as he exited. "Frank! What are you doing here?"

               "Waiting for you," Frank said, rolling his eyes.

               Gerard blinked. "Well, you usually wait for me _outside_...."

               "Well, it's fucking cold _outside_ ," Frank pointed out as he turned and began walking to his locker.

               Gerard sighed and shrugged as he followed Frank. "So, we going to the band room again?"

               "Nope." Frank turned down the hall and stopped at his locker, struggling to balance his books in his hand as he tried to open the lock.

               Gerard raised an eyebrow. "Uhm... then where _are_ we going?" He walked over and took Frank's books from him so his boyfriend could open the locker.

               "Thanks," Frank mumbled as he finally popped the lock open. He took the books from Gerard and stuffed them all in his locker before shutting it once again. "We're going into the city."

               "Wh... the city? Why?"

               "Because there's something I want to do. Are you coming or not?"

               Gerard opened his mouth to say something, but shut it and nodded quietly. _'Something? Like what?'_ Frank smiled and began walking towards the doors that led into the courtyard, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Gerard followed behind closely, normally, as though they weren't about to ditch. _'What's so important that we need to skip? Not that I mind or anything.'_

               Frank walked outside and towards the parking lot, not looking back at Gerard, but hoping he was managing to keep up. _'I don't want to have to go back and get his slow ass.'_

               Gerard hurried behind Frank, trying his best to keep up. _'Christ, why is he in such a hurry?'_ Frank quickly unlocked the car and got in before starting up the engine. Gerard climbed into the passenger seat, shutting the door and putting on his seat belt. "So what exactly are we doing in the city?"

               "You'll see," Frank said, practically bouncing in his seat as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the busy street. Gerard sighed and thought better than to pester Frank about it more. He rested his head on the back of the seat and closed his eyes. Frank turned on the radio and began singing along loudly as they made their way into the city.

               Gerard opened his eyes slightly and looked over to Frank. _'He sure seems excited...'_

               A short while later, Frank pulled into a mostly-vacant parking lot behind a ruddy looking building and stopped the car. He got out and took off his school jacket before loosening his tie and messing up his hair. "Come on, Gerard," he said as he threw his jacket into the backseat before shutting his door.

               Gerard stared at the building and took in the surroundings. "F-Frank... is this area... safe?" he asked as he emerged from the car, quietly shutting the door behind him.

               Frank hit the automatic lock and rolled his eyes. "Stop being such a rich snob," he joked as he grabbed Gerard's hand and began walking around to the front of the building.

               "I-I'm not being a rich snob! I-it just looks... unsafe around here."

               "You're being _such_ a snob. It's perfectly safe!" Frank pushed open the door to the building and walked in with Gerard.

               Gerard pressed close to Frank, shrinking down slightly as he looked around, wide-eyed. _'This whole area just screams danger to someone like me.'_

               Frank squeezed Gerard's hand tightly as he looked around the inside of the shop. There were pictures covering the walls from top to bottom, a huge curtain hung around the back, blocking an area for piercings. There were several chairs and tables around the room and a few couches near the front that served as a waiting room. Frank nearly ran to the counter that stood in the center of the shop. There was a huge, "Revolver Tattoo" banner hanging on the front of it with big, graffiti style lettering. "Hi, I'm Frank Iero. I have an appointment with Gary."

               The woman behind the counter smiled and nodded as she looked through an appointment book. "He's with someone right now, take a seat and he'll be with you in a few minutes." Frank nodded quickly and went to sit on one of the large couches, pulling Gerard along with him.

               Gerard stumbled slightly as Frank yanked him around, practically falling into the chair. "Where are we?" he whispered to Frank, confused as hell.

               "A tattoo shop. Are your eyes not working?" Frank laughed and let go of Gerard's hand to pick up a portfolio book by one of the artists and began to flip through it.

               "Yes, Frank. I mean, look at me, I'm _totally_ inked. I could recognize one of these from a mile away." Gerard slumped down in his seat, feeling uncomfortable. _'Well this is great... I never told him about my fear of needles, did I?'_

               "You don't have to be inked to know this is a tattoo shop, there's a giant sign. Not to mention the people getting tattooed just a few feet away."

               Gerard continued to stare down at his lap, and mumbled a bit. _'Yeah. Not gonna watch that.'_

               "Are you okay? I know this is just something _I_ wanted to do but...I wanted you here with me," Frank said, chewing on his lip ring nervously.

               "Well... I have this small dilemma... let's just say I'm not going anywhere _near_ work in progress... because, uhm... I have this... small... kinda bad... really horrible fear of needles."

               "Wait. _What_? Really?" Frank asked, his face falling a bit. Gerard chewed his lip and nodded slightly. "Gerard, I-I didn't know. Shit, I wouldn't have brought you."

               Gerard shook his head slightly. "I-it's fine... just... don't expect me to watch or anything."

               "Oh... okay." Frank set the portfolio book down and sighed, already sick of waiting. Gerard shifted his feet a bit and sat quietly, not sure of what to say or do.

               A few minutes later, Gary stepped in front of Frank, causing him to look up. "So, you ready, kid?"

               Frank nodded and glanced sideways at Gerard. "Uh, this is Gerard," Frank said, trying to be polite and introduce the two.

               Gary smiled and nodded, his hands on his hips. "You coming back, Gerard?"

               Frank turned his attention to Gary, noticing how he was standing. _'If I stood like that, everyone would call me a fag. Why does he get to look manly?'_

               Gerard looked down and shook his head slightly. "N-no thank you," he declined politely, his voice squeaky.

               Gary gave a curt nod before turning and heading towards his station, motioning for Frank to follow. Frank stood up and smiled nervously at Gerard before following the older man. Gerard stared at the ground a bit longer and shuffled his feet. _'Come on, Gee... you should be there for him. I don't think he's ever gotten a tattoo before; he seemed nervous.'_ Gerard took a deep breath before looking up and saying, "A-actually, uhm... I change my mind. I'll come with."

               Frank paused, mid-step, and looked back at Gerard. "Are you sure? You don't have to...it's okay," he assured.

               Gerard nodded and stood up, quickly making his way to Frank. "I-I... I'm sure," he replied, looking at Frank.

               Frank smiled brightly and made his way to Gary's station. He sat on the chair in front of the man and looked around at all of the tools. There were hundreds of different colored inks, along with several types of tattoo guns, each with a different type of needle attached to it.

               Gerard tried his best to avoid looking at the needles, instead staring at the different colors, naming off the ones he knew in his head.

               "We still doing that pumpkin you drew?" Gary asked as he put on a new pair of gloves and began prepping what he needed.

               Frank nodded and took his shirt off. "Yeah, I still want it between my shoulders, too," Frank said.

               Gerard looked over to Frank and blinked, curious as to what the two meant, but stayed quiet. _'I'll see it eventually,'_ he thought to himself.

               "Alright, just lean forward on that rest there and I'll put the stencil on." Frank followed directions and tried his best not to move as Gary laid the piece of paper with ink on his skin. It felt cold and sticky, but Frank kept his mouth shut. Gary carefully smoothed down the paper, making sure the design stuck before pulling it away easily.

               As soon as he felt the paper leave his skin, Frank hopped up and looked in one of the stand-up mirrors. "It looks _perfect_ ," he said before getting back into position. Gary smiled and picked up the tattoo gun, readying his hand at Frank's back.

               Gerard wanted to look up, but the moment Gary grabbed the tattoo gun, his eyes immediately shot down to the floor, staring intently at the ground. Frank crossed his arms over the top of the chair and rested his chin on top. A soon as Gary put the needle to his skin, he closed his eyes and held his breath. It fucking hurt! He knew it was supposed to be a little painful, but Jesus Christ! Frank took deep breaths and used the humming from the gun to calm himself down.

               Gerard chewed on his lip as he continued to stare down. _'Fuck I wish I wasn't a such a coward but I know if I see that sharp point piece of fuck no I'll flip so much shit... ugh.'_

               Frank stayed calm for a few minutes until the gun hit an extra-sensitive patch of skin. He bit down on his tongue hard and did his best not to make any noises. Gary looked at Frank worriedly, but decided to continue unless Frank said anything.

               Gerard squirmed in his seat. _'It feel like forever has already passed... man how long do these things take?'_

               Frank began to fidget as he became more and more uncomfortable. Not only was he getting restless, this whole thing hurt like a bitch and he wanted it over with. "Hold on, kid, almost done. Hang in there," Gary said as he concentrated on his work. Frank sighed and reached his hand towards Gerard, hoping he'd be some kind of comfort.

               Gerard caught Frank's hand reaching for him out of the corner of his eye. He scooted closer and took his boyfriend's hand into his own and kissed it softly, holding it as he waited for Gary to finish. Frank relaxed and didn't even realize Gary had finished a few minutes later.

               "Alright, go look and tell me watcha think," Gary said, smiling. Frank jumped off of the seat and hurried to the mirror, twisting and turning his back to try to get a better look. Gary came up behind Frank and held a mirror up so he could catch his reflection. Frank's mouth fell slightly agape as he looked at his tattoo for the first time. To him, it was perfect. Everything he'd dreamed it up to be. He looked back at Gerard, wondering what he thought of it.

               Gerard looked up and saw the final product upon Frank's back. He smiled widely. "Wow... that looks awesome!"

               "Really? You think so?"

               Gerard nodded, glad to not have to worry about the needles anymore, and to see Frank happy with his new tattoo.

               After Gary bandaged his back, Frank skipped over to Gerard and leaned down and kissed him before pulling away and tugging his shirt back on.

               Gerard blinked and blushed, watching Frank put his shirt back on.

               Gary walked to the front counter and began ringing up. Frank pulled Gerard up, out of his seat, and walked to the front to pay. He handed Gary what he owed, plus a small tip before thanking him and heading out the front door.

               Gerard held onto Frank's hand as they walked out, a shudder shaking his whole body as the cold air whipped against him. _'Fuck, I forgot how cold it is.'_

               Frank squeezed Gerard's hand tightly and made his way to the car quickly before unlocking the doors and getting in. He turned on the heater and stared up the engine, dying to get warm again. Gerard crawled into the passenger's side and quickly shut the door, curling up and trying to warm himself up as he waited for the car to heat itself up. Frank put his seat belt on and pulled out of the parking lot. "Thanks for coming with me."

               Gerard nodded quietly. "It was no problem," he replied softly. "Once I got over the whole needle thing, of course."

               "Because you're a big baby," Frank teased.

               Gerard glared at Frank and stuck out his tongue. "Oh please, I'm sure you have your fears as well."

               "Nope. I'm not afraid of anything."

               Gerard rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure," he responded sarcastically before glancing over and smiling at Frank. "So when do you have to be back?"

               "Whenever we want to be," Frank said as he turned onto the highway.

               Gerard leaned his seat back and stared out the window. "Well... is there anything you wanna do then?"

               "There's nothing I really had in mind," Frank admitted.

               Gerard stared out the window a few moments before an idea popped into his head. "Hey, is it closer to lunch or dinner time? Wanna go get some sandwiches and go to the park?" he suggested, turning to Frank.

               Frank shrugged, not completely hating the idea. "Sure, sounds good. Are we just getting food at the store or what?"

               "Uh, yeah, sure. Is there a deli nearby? I have cash on me."

               "There's one at this exit; it's about 5 minutes from the park," Frank said as he turned onto the exit ramp. A few minutes later, Frank pulled up to the curb in front of a small, family-owned deli and got out of the car.

               Gerard climbed out and grabbed Frank's hand, pressing close to him and shivering from the cold air.

 

               Frank smiled and made his way into the deli. When he opened the door, a little bell rang, making him smile like a little kid. "I used to go to places like this all the time when I was little," Frank said as he walked up to the counter.

               Gerard looked around curiously, breathing in the delightful smell of fresh meats and veggies. "Really? I've never been to a place like this before... Then again, I used to barely leave the house." He gave an awkward laugh, feeling somewhat dumb for never once being to such a simple place.

               "You've officially evolved from a caveman to a simple neanderthal," Frank joked.

               "Can I help you boys?" An elderly woman behind the counter asked.

               "Oh, uh, yeah, what do you want, Gerard?"

               Gerard shot Frank a playful glare before looking up to face the woman. "Uhm... I dunno. What are you getting, Frank?"

               "I like the king of the hill sandwiches, they're the fuckin' best!"

               Gerard shrugged. "I guess we'll take two of those, then, if that's alright?" he replied, giving a friendly smile to the woman at the counter.

               The woman nodded her head and began preparing the sandwiches, stacking the various meats and veggies on them before wrapping them up in paper. "That'll be $12.34, please." Gerard nodded and pulled out his wallet, handing her a $20 and looking over to Frank with a smile. Frank got on his tip-toes and grabbed the sandwiches off of the high counter while the woman made change. "Here you go, enjoy," She said as she handed Gerard the rest of his money.

               Gerard nodded politely. "Thanks," he replied before putting the change in his pocket and grabbing Frank's free hand.

               Frank smiled at the woman before heading out the doors. He went around the car and opened the door before setting the sandwiches in the back seat and getting in. Gerard got into the passenger's side. "Uhm, so I guess we head to the park now?"

               "No, we go to hell," Frank said, rolling his eyes as he started up the car and began driving towards the park.

               "That's works too," Gerard replied with a laugh.

               A few minutes later, Frank pulled up to their destination before parking and getting out of the car, grabbing the food as he went. He stood beside the car and sighed, "Come on, Gerard, it's gonna be nighttime before you get your ass out!" Gerard rolled his eyes and got out of the car, looking around for a place to sit. He spotted the empty swing sets and trotted over towards them, hopping onto one of the seats and looking to Frank with a smile. Frank followed Gerard and handed him the sandwiches before climbing onto a swing. "It's fucking freezing and we're eating outside, awesome."

               Gerard rolled his eyes. "Oh, stop whining," Gerard sighed and shot Frank a playful glance.

               "Shut up and give me my food," Frank spat.

               "Make me!" Gerard giggled and stuck out his tongue.

               Frank quickly leaned forward and licked Gerard's exposed tongue before stealthily grabbing a sandwich and pulling back away.

               Gerard squeaked and pulled back, glaring at Frank and pouting childishly before grabbing his own sandwich and beginning to eat.

               Frank laughed and began to pick the meat out of his sandwich, leaving only the veggies. "Well, this is fun," Frank said around a mouthful of food.

               Gerard munched quietly on his sandwich and swung back and forth gently. He looked up and smiled at Frank with his cheeks full of sandwich. Frank got one look at Gerard and couldn’t help but to laugh. His laughter soon turned into violent coughing as some food went down the wrong pipe. "Fu-shi-Godda-"

               Gerard quickly swallowed his food and reached over, rubbing Frank's back. "Are you okay, Frankie?"

               Frank coughed a few more times and took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said, smiling reassuringly at Gerard. Gerard blinked worriedly, but nodded and got himself comfortable before gently swinging again, continuing to eat. Frank finished most of his food before daring to talk again. "Why is no one here? Do only creepy teenagers come to the park now?"

               Gerard laughed. "I dunno, probably," he replied, grinning at Frank. He looked out at the park, taking in the surroundings. Frank looked around as he ate, steadily getting bored with the lack of activity. When he finished his food he balled up his trash and threw it at Gerard's head before laughing maniacally. "Hey!" Gerard gasped, balling up his own trash and chucking it at Frank with a playful smirk.

               "Asshole," Frank retorted as he playfully shoved Gerard.

               Gerard stumbled back and grabbed Frank, pulling him down with him with a laugh. Frank laughed and let his head fall onto the ground, signaling his defeat. Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank and hugged him tightly, kissing him on the cheek and giggling. Frank sighed and rested his head on Gerard's chest. "Well, what now?"

               Gerard laid his head back and stared at the sky. "I dunno," he replied before nuzzling Frank's neck.

               "As exciting and sexy as laying on the cold, hard ground is, it's fucking cold and hard and I'm too classy for this shit," Frank joked.

               "Then go lay in the grass," Gerard teased, "but you're gonna have to carry me there 'cause I'm not letting go or getting up."

               Frank sighed and climbed on top of Gerard. "Or this could work, it's not as cold."

               Gerard blinked and blushed, looking up and Frank. "Oh... or that, too."

               "Hmm, I can't seem to get comfortable," Frank said as he moved around, purposely grinding against Gerard and smirking. Gerard blushed harder and bit down on his lip, resting his hands on Frank's hips. He gave out a slight compulsive whimper. Frank leaned down and kissed Gerard as he continued to move against him rhythmically. Gerard closed his eyes as he kissed back, letting his hips rise up slightly for more friction. Frank pulled away and pouted. "Well shit, now you're as hard as the ground," he said, trying hard not to laugh.

               Gerard's face burned as he looked away. "A-am not!" he retorted, trying not to bust from embarrassment.

               "You're not? Then what's this?" Frank asked as he reached down and palmed Gerard through his pants.

               Gerard's breath hitched, failing to hold back a moan as he squeezed his eyes shut. Frank leaned down and kissed Gerard as he continued to move against him rhythmically. Gerard closed his eyes as he kissed back, letting his hips rise up slightly for more friction. "Well, since you're not hard, let's just go then," Frank said as he started to get up.

               "W-well... I might be a _little_..." Gerard mumbled, avoiding looking at Frank as his face blushed bright red.

               Frank paused and raised an eyebrow. "Might be?"

               Gerard still avoided eye contact, slightly shrugging and hoping Frank would do something. Frank stood up and grabbed Gerard's hand to help him get on his feet. "Come on," He said as he began walking away from the park. Gerard got up, bending his legs inwards slightly in an awkward manner, glancing sideways to the ground as he tried to catch his breath. Frank stopped behind a tree and pushed Gerard up against the trunk. "There's no way we're doing anything in the wide open," he said before kissing Gerard deeply.

               Gerard gasped and squeezed his eyes shut, kissing Frank back as another quiet moan escaped. Frank reached down and began undoing Gerard's pants before shoving his hand in and stroking his cock. Gerard tipped his head back and began to pant heavily, reaching down and clenching his hands around Frank's hips. Frank gently scraped his teeth on the skin of Gerard's exposed neck as he continued to stroke him, gradually picking up speed.

               Gerard let out a loud gasp before biting down on his lip and reaching around, grabbing Frank's ass. Frank began to stroke Gerard faster as he tightened his grip and started sucking on his neck. Gerard turned his head to the side to expose more of his neck, panting roughly, his hips pushing forward.

               Frank bit down on Gerard's neck as he made quick strokes up and down Gerard's entire length. Gerard let out a yelp as he felt Frank's teeth dig into his skin, licking his lips as his pants became harder and more labored. Frank instinctively rubbed his own erection against Gerard's thigh as he continued to stroke, occasionally twisting his wrist.

               As he leaned his head forward, Gerard let out a low groan, feeling himself getting close. Frank nibbled on Gerard's ear and whispered, "Cum for me, Gee," as he tightened his grip and stroked him as fast as he could manage.

               Gerard's pants became louder before he bit down on Frank's shoulder, letting out a whine as he felt himself release, a shudder running up his spine. Frank stroked slowly, coaxing Gerard through his orgasm before letting go and wiping his hand on the tree. Gerard rested his head on Frank's shoulder, trying to catch his breath and let his heartbeat slow.

               Frank buttoned Gerard's pants and redid his belt for him. "So..you _weren't_ hard, huh?"

               Gerard's breathing finally started to slow. "I guess... I was," he replied though his pants with a slight smirk.

               "Yeah, I guess fucking so," Frank said with a laugh.

               Gerard let his breath slow a little more before he grabbed Frank around his sides and pushed him down, getting on top of him and kissing his neck roughly. Frank let out a quiet gasp, both from surprise and pleasure. Gerard began to suck on Frank's neck as he rubbed up against his boyfriend's hips, moving his hands down to undo his pants.

               Frank closed his eyes and grabbed onto Gerard's shoulders. Gerard bit down on Frank's neck roughly as he pushed down the other's pants, letting out a slight growl. Frank's hips instinctively thrust upwards as he let out a quiet moan. Gerard kissed Frank's neck softly a few more times before sliding himself down and gripping a hold of Frank's cock. He stroked him a few times before leaning forward and taking him into his mouth, beginning to suck lightly. Frank let out a loud moan, reveling in the warmth of Gerard's mouth.

               Gerard smirked and went a bit deeper, sucking harder as he stroked what wasn't in his mouth. Frank bit his lip and thrust a hand into Gerard's hair, pulling on it roughly. Gerard let out a whimper before going down further, running his tongue over the head of Frank's cock. Frank moaned loudly and squirmed, unable to keep still. Gerard ran his hands up Frank's sides, pushing up his shirt as he went down and deep throated him.

               "Jesus Christ, Gerard!" Frank couldn't help but to thrust up into Gerard's mouth. He tried not to, but the pleasure was taking total control of his movements.

               Gerard pulled back slightly, surprised by Frank's aggressive reaction. He smirked and deep throated him again, running his fingers lightly down Frank's side. Frank let out a low grunt and pulled on Gerard's hair, trying hard not to lose control again. Gerard ran his fingers gently up and down Frank's sides, sucking on his cock until his cheeks started to hollow.

                "Goddamnit I..Gerard..." Frank couldn't finish his sentence before his back was arching as he came long and hard into Gerard's mouth, making animalistic noises as he pulled on his boyfriend's hair. Gerard gripped around Frank's sides, swallowing every bit, feeling himself shudder in pleasure at the roughness of Frank's reactions.

               When Frank was finished he let go of Gerard and lay motionless, feeling as if every bone in his body was useless. Gerard pulled off of Frank and pulled his pants back up, redoing them. He pushed himself back on top of Frank and wrapped his arms around him, resting his head on the younger one's chest.

               Frank closed his eyes and absentmindedly played with Gerard's hair. Gerard smiled softly and snuggled closer to Frank, feeling himself relax. Frank kissed Gerard's forehead and sighed. "I love you," he said quietly.

               Gerard lean forward and kissed Frank's cheek. "I love you too," he whispered before laying his head back down gently on Frank's chest. Frank smiled and wrapped his arms around Gerard as he let out a small shiver. Gerard cuddled closer. "Maybe we should head back to the car?" he suggested, feeling Frank shake.

               "Yeah, I think we should," Frank said as he began to move, trying to get feeling back into his joints.

               Gerard pulled himself up and stood, stretching out his legs. He reached down and offered a hand to Frank. Frank took his boyfriend's hand and stood up before heading back towards the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there's one more chapter left and IM SoRRY FOR BEING SO SUCKY AND TAKING FOREVER TO UPDATE OHGOD and please review idk D: and follow me (x-messdetritus) and my co-writer (blakelywintersfield) on tumblr bc we are rad as heck


	32. The Day That Starts It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, let's go back to the middle of the day that starts it all.  
> I can't begin to let you know just what I'm feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Written with Blakelywintersfield (on tumblr)  
> This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Headfirst For Halos" by My Chemical Romance

     Gerard got his tie on comfortably and buttoned up his suit jacket. Grabbing some cologne, he spritzed himself a few times and checked himself in the mirror. He dared to shoot a glance at the clock: 7:49. _'Frank should be here soon,'_ he thought to himself and quickly made his way down the stairs. 

     pulled into Gerard's driveway and sighed heavily. "I wish my parents hadn't taken so long with the damn pictures," Frank said as he unbuckled his seatbelt. 

     You're not even late, Frank, chill out," Jamia said, laughing. 

     Frank shook his head and got out of the car. He walked up to the front door and rang the bell. ' _Why am I so nervous? It's just a stupid dance,'_ he thought as he checked his hair for the thousandth time that night.

    Gerard jumped off the couch and immediately rushed to the door, opening it quickly. "Frank, you're here!" Gerard lurched forward and gave Frank a tight embrace, both from excitement and to try and calm himself from the anxiety that had been building.

     Frank had to step backwards to keep from falling over. "What? Did you think I wasn't gonna come?"

     "Huh? No, no! I just..." Gerard shrugged and ducked his head shyly. "I dunno... I'm just excited, y'know?"

     "It's okay, I'm about to jump out of my skin. Are you ready to go? Jamia's waiting," Frank said, motioning to the car.

     Gerard nodded and closed the door. "Am I getting in the front or the back?"

     "The front," Frank said as he walked to the car and held open Gerard's door. "After you."

     Gerard nodded a thanks and climbed in before looking back and giving Jamia a friendly smile.

     "Gerard! You look great!" Jamia exclaimed. 

     Frank got in the car and buckled up before pulling out onto the road. “Sorry, we were later than I wanted to be," Frank said with a sigh.

     Gerard blushed slightly. "Thanks, Jamia," he replied shyly, not used to getting compliments. He sighed and shook his head at Frank. "It's _okay,_ Frank, you got here at a good time," he reassured gently.

     "Whatever you say, Gee. Hey, Jamia, show Gerard the flower I gave you." 

     Jamia leaned forward and dangled her wrist in front of Gerard's face. "Isn't it pretty?" she asked.

     Gerard smiled brightly and nodded. "It sure is," he agreed, starting to feel nervous about the dance again.

     Jamia sat back in her seat and stared out her window. "Frank, you drive like a grandma, come on!" Frank shot Jamia an evil look before reaching back and grabbing onto her thigh, causing her to writhe about laughing. "F-Frank! Stop! You know I'm tickelish there!" Frank smiled devilishly and withdrew. "That's what ya get for being a pain. We're almost there, quit complaining."

     Gerard laughed and shook his head. He gazed out the window, thinking about the events of that night, wondering about how it'd all look... _'I feel so dumb having never gone...'_

     A few minutes later, Frank pulled into the school parking lot, staying towards the back. He got out and opened Jamia's door to help her out before tending to Gerard. After everyone was out, Frank locked the doors and adjusted his jacket. "Are you both ready?"

     Gerard nodded, eagerly grabbing Frank's hand. He looked around at all the cars in the lot... _'Jesus Christ... I didn't know there'd be so many people.'_

     Frank took Jamia's hand and tucked it in the crook of his arm in typical escort style. He smiled at both of them before leading the way to the building. After waiting in the long line, they finally made it inside with the hoards of people in their best outfits. _'Shit, I look like a fucking hobo compared to everyone else,_ ' Frank thought nervously.

     Gerard looked around, wide eyed. He chewed on his lip, seeing everyone's outfits. They seemed nice... but more casual than his own. ' _Ugh, I look like a business man.’_ He looked over at Frank and smiled nervously.

     Jamia freed herself from Frank's grip before turning around and catching him and Gerard in a hug. "I'm gonna go find Alicia and Lindsey, you two have fun." Frank smiled, a little sad to see her go off for the night. "Oh, and I love you both, but please don't strip down and fuck on the dance floor, most people don’t wanna see that," she said over her shoulder before disappearing into the crowd.

     Gerard's face grew bright red, and he was about to answer her, but sighed when she took off. He looked down, shuffling his feet a bit. "Uhm... so now what?" he asked, looking at Frank.

     "I guess we..dance? Or we can just wander around for a little," Frank suggested.

     Gerard shrugged and pressed closer to Frank. "Whatever you want to do," he replied softly.

     "It's early and I'm not drunk enough to dance, lets go linger along the walls for a while," Frank said as he led Gerard into the main room. Frank's eyes widened as he adjusted to the sudden darkness. _'Holy shit, this looks like a fucking night club.'_

     Gerard blinked and looked around, holding tightly onto Frank's hand. "Where should we go?" he asked, observing the large room.

     "I know this is cliche, but can we get a drink first? I don't wanna pass out from dehydration or anything."

     Gerard laughed. "Yeah, I don't mind," he replied. "You pretty much get to lead this night, since I've never been to prom."

     Frank laughed and leaned up to Gerard's ear and began singing _A Whole New World_ before laughing and heading to the drink table. He poured himself a cup of the punch, praying someone had spiked it, before filling a cup and handing it to Gerard.

     Gerard nodded a thanks and sipped a bit, just to get the taste, before drinking a little more and smiling back at Frank. "The punch is good," he remarked. "Has this taste... it's familiar, but I can't quite remember of what."

     "I don't know either..it's good though," Frank said as he downed his drink before going for more. Frank drank down his second cup of punch before setting his glass down and wiping his mouth. "So, are you ready to dance? Do you want to do something else?"

     Gerard shrugged. "I'll dance if you want to," he responded, smiling.

     "Good, because I love this song," Frank said as he grabbed Gerard's hand to lead him onto the dance floor.

     Gerard laughed and followed Frank, letting his boyfriend lead him along. He looked around at all the people, but couldn't seem to focus on anyone in particular other than Frank. As soon as they stepped on to the floor, the song ended and changed to a slow, romantic song. _'Well..shit,'_ Frank thought. He hesitated a moment before stepping close to Gerard and wrapping his arms around his neck. Gerard blushed and placed his hands gently on Frank's hips, resting his forehead against Frank's. He gave a small smile and closed his eyes, letting the moment sink in.

     Frank moved along to the beat slowly and stepped closer to Gerard. He knew people were staring at them, but he ignored them as he tilted his head and kissed Gerard slowly and surely. Gerard's eyes grew wide in surprise for a moment, but he let them slowly fall shut before kissing Frank back, passionately, but gently.

     As the song came to and end and switched to a dance tune, Frank pulled away slightly, his cheeks a bright red. Gerard ducked his head and blushed, then looked up at Frank, smiling. Frank laughed and began dancing to the faster song, still keeping a close distance between them. Before Frank could really think, he took his jacket off and tossed it to the side and brought his and Gerard's hips together as they danced to the music. Gerard blushed deeply, but continued to dance, letting his hips push against Frank, practically grinding against him as they danced.

     Frank smiled and wrapped his arms around Gerard's neck again before kissing him deeply, not caring who saw. Gerard kissed Frank back with a soft moan, his hands staying on Frank's hips. As one song blended into another, Frank was completely pressed against Gerard, not bothering to move to the beat anymore. Gerard rubbed his whole body up against Frank, his self-consciousness slipping away as the music continued. Frank began sucking on Gerard's neck as he continued to grind against the other teen, unable to control himself.

     Gerard let out a groan, reaching behind Frank and grabbing his ass and pushing Frank's hips closer. Frank nibbled on Gerard's neck as he became even harder. He was in the middle of a slew of dirty thoughts when he felt a tap on his shoulder He looked up to see Jamia standing next to him. "If you two continue like that, they're going to kick you out. Get a room," she said before turning her attention back to the guy she was dancing with.

     Gerard blinked, raising his head and looking at Frank. He hadn't even heard Jamia, he only noticed that Frank had stopped what he was doing. "Is something wrong, Frank?"

     Frank cleared his throat and looked around the room. "We uh..we should stop what we're doing or they'll tell us to leave.."

     "Then should we stop... or should we leave?" 

     "How about we just get out of here? I'm not ready to stop."

     Gerard nodded absent-mindedly as Frank picked up his jacket and gripped Gerard's hand, leading him to the car.

     Gerard curled up in the back seat, dazed, but not tired. He rolled around a bit, trying to get comfortable in the seat.

     "Gerard? Are you okay? Do you want me to take you home?” Frank asked.

     "Mm? Yeah," he mumbled. "Just trying to get comfy."

     "Where do you want to go? I can take you home if you want," Frank said, pausing before a major intersection.

     Gerard shook his head. "Nu uh. Not home. Just somewhere."

     Frank nodded and made a left and drove down the dark road. He spotted where he wanted to go and pulled over behind a heavily wooded area. He stopped the car and unbuckled his seatbelt before climbing into the back seat with Gerard. "Gee?"

     Gerard rolled over and looked at Frank. "Hmm?"

     "Sit up," Frank said as he sat back on the seat. Gerard blinked dazedly, but followed Frank's instructions and pulled himself up. Frank pulled Gerard onto his lap and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Are you sure you’re okay?” Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank's neck and nodded before kissing him.

     Frank turned Gerard's body so that they were completely turned towards each other. He untucked Gerard's shirt and ran his hands up and down his boyfriend's chest as he kissed him back passionately. Gerard kissed back deeply, moaning uncontrollably into the kiss and pressing himself against Frank. Frank pushed Gerard's jacket off of his shoulders and began to undo the buttons on his shirt, never once breaking the kiss.

     Gerard groaned, moving forward and sitting on Frank's lap, still facing him, with his legs spread around his boyfriend's hips. Once Frank got Gerard's shirt off, he unbuttoned his pants. "Take the rest of your clothes off," Frank directed as he quickly began taking off his own. Gerard sat back and kicked off his shoes, tearing off his socks, and pushing off his pants off. He threw all his clothes onto the floor of the car, already beginning to pant.

     Frank pulled his shirt over his head before taking off his shoes and kicking off his pants. He looked at Gerard and bit his lip before pulling his boyfriend back onto his lap, immediately capturing his mouth in a kiss. Gerard kissed Frank back heatedly, craving the touch of his boyfriend's skin. He absentmindedly began to rub his whole body up against Frank. Frank moaned at the feeling of his erection pressed against Gerard's thigh. He let his hands roam over every inch of Gerard's body, not wanting to miss a thing.

     Gerard arched his body into Frank's, still heated from earlier. He moved down and began sucking on Frank's neck, running his hand up and down his thigh. "Gerard...let me fuck you. Now," Frank whispered, his voice husky from the desire coursing through him.

     Gerard let out a desperate whimper before pulling away and leaning back. He held himself up, leaving himself exposed, and staring back at Frank, panting slightly. Frank turned towards Gerard and climbed on top of him, kissing him roughly. He didnt wait before he moved Gerard's legs apart more and plunged into him, filling him up completely.

     Gerard broke away from the kiss with a loud gasp that practically sounded like a cry, his head falling back onto the seat and his back arching, huffing and panting. "Fucking hell, Frank,” he groaned.

     Frank lowered his head and began to nibble on Gerard's nipple as he started to thrust into him, pulling halfway out before slamming into him fully each time. Gerard yelped and gasped loudly, moaning and threading his fingers through Frank's hair before tugging on it, mumbling his name a few times. Frank began to thrust faster, holding onto Gerard's hip for leverage. Gerard bit down on his lip, trying to subdue his moans, but failing. He pulled on Frank's hair more, squirming slightly.

     Frank reached down and began tightly stroking Gerard's cock as he thrust into him. Gerard panted desperately, instinctually thrusting forward when Frank began to stroke him. Frank continued to rub Gerard and thrust into him roughly, eventually finding a rhythm. "You're so tight...so perfect...so fucking good," Frank muttered, his voice now raspy.

     Gerard groaned, arching his back more. "Fuck, Frank..." he moaned, panting as sweat began to run down his forehead. He let go of Frank's hair and grabbed his shoulder instead, letting his eyes ease shut. Frank nibbled on Gerard's ear as his movements became more sporadic, warning that he was getting close to finishing. Gerard's grip tightened on Frank's shoulders as his pants because labored huffs. He leaned forward slightly and whispered, "Cum inside of me, Frank... I want you to."

     Frank moaned at Gerard's words, always unable to resist the bawdiness his boyfriend exhibited once he was being fucked into oblivion. He bit down on Gerard's shoulder to quiet his moans as his thrusts became faster and more uncoordinated. Seconds later he was shuddering with pleasure as he came inside of Gerard.

     Gerard let out a growl-like groan when we felt Frank shudder, running his hands down Frank's sides slowly and letting out a soft whimper. Frank's entire body nearly gave out once he finished, but he held himself up and began to pick up his pace again. He tightened his grip on Gerard's cock as he stroked him quickly in time with his thrusts. Gerard breathed heavily and roughly, gripping tightly onto Frank's shoulders. He felt his body twist as his hips bucked forward, impulsively shouting Frank's name as he came.

     Frank coaxed Gerard through his orgasm with a few more strokes before pulling out and collapsing on top of him, exhausted. Gerard pulled Frank close to him, kissing his cheek a few times before resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder and easing his eyes shut. Frank absent-mindedly rubbed his hand up and down Gerard's chest as he became more calm, more tired.

 

* * *

 

     Frank sat at the usual table; his and Gerard's table. He had his hood pulled over his head and his hands jammed into his pockets, trying to keep warm. Gerard bounded over to the table, sitting down closely next to Frank, knowing he needed some warmth. He gave him a quick peck on the cheek and a soft smile.

     Frank smiled back and leaned into Gerard. "What took you so long?"

     Gerard shrugged. "Had to grab my lunch from my locker," he replied. "I forgot it was in there."

     “Well, you kept me waiting and it's cold as fuck out here," Frank complained.

     Gerard rolled his eyes. "Oh boo hoo," he replied teasingly, pulling himself onto Frank's lap and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. "Does that help?"

     Frank laughed and shook his head, trying to hide his blush. "You're too much, ya know that?” Gerard giggled and kissed Frank's cheek. He laid his head on Frank's shoulder, resting his eyes. Frank shrugged his shoulder. "Hey, are you tired? Stay up all night jerking off again?"

     Gerard laughed and pushed Frank's shoulder. " _No_!" he scolded, giggling. "Actually, I was thinking about this idea I had."

     “Oh, yeah? What's your twisted brain concocting now?"

     "Well, I know this is gonna sound off the top and all, but... I was thinking, why not start a band?"

     Frank blinked a few times, making sure he heard correctly. "A band? Like what? A shitty little garage band?"

     Gerard rolled his eyes. “Well, they _all_ start out like that!"

     "Yeah and they never go anywhere and it leaves all involved left in bitter disappointment. Plus, we don't even know anyone who plays."

     "Well, actually..." Gerard corrected, "Mikey plays bass. And Ray plays guitar, like you."

     "Mikey plays bass? And that doesn’t matter. What if we don’t sound good together? Toro and I are so different in our styles," Frank pointed out.

     Gerard shrugged. "Worth a shot, isn't it?"

     "I guess...have you mentioned this to anyone else?"

     "Other than Mikey and Ray? No."

     "Did they like the idea?"

     Gerard shrugged. "They said it was worth trying."

     "Well, fuck, I'm in. Might as well do it when we're young."

     Gerard laughed. "Awesome! There's only one dilemma."

     “Ah, shit, already got problems!" Frank said dramatically.

     Gerard rolled his eyes. "None of us know a drummer," he sighed.

     "Fuck. That is a problem.." Frank sat back and chewed on his lip ring, deep in thought. "Shit! I know this guy named Matt something...uh...Matt..Pelissier! Matt Pelissier! He used to help with my old band. He's a badass drummer! You'd love him," Frank rambled.

     Gerard blinked and smiled. "You think he'd be willing to join us?"

     "Totally! He's got nothing goin' on as far as I know. I'll call him tonight."

     "Sweet!" Gerard answered with a grin. "That means there's only one thing left to do."

     "And that is?" Frank asked, holding Gerard closer to him.

     Gerard smiled and reached into his pocket, pulling out a sheet of paper and handing it to Frank. "Choosing a band name. That's a list of ideas."

     Frank took the paper and scanned it over before setting it down on the table and pointing to the last name written. "That one. That's it! It's fuckin’ brilliant! Who thought of it?"

     Gerard craned his neck and looked at the list, laughing a bit. "Mikey thought of it! The only one he thought of, actually. At least, from the list we made."

     "Well he's a goddamn genius band namer."

     Gerard laughed again. "The others liked that one, too. So you think that one's it?"

     "Definitely. From now on, we are My Chemical Romance," Frank said, laughing.

     Gerard nodded. "Sounds good to me," he agreed before giving Frank a soft kiss on the lips. 


	33. Author's Note

Hey, guys! I just wanted to give a final thank you to everyone who stuck with the story for so long and who actually read the damn thing. I know I started this many years ago (When I was a sophomore in high school actually) and am just now posting the final chapter at a freshman in college and I want to apologize for not posting the final chapter for so long. It was completely my fault and the fic was written and everything but my life turned to literal hell and this was pushed to the side for quite some time. It's not a good excuse and I know that-I just wanted you all to know how sorry I am having kept you waiting for so long. It's funny to think how this started out as a simple roleplay somewhat inspired by our own lives and the Thompson Twins song "Hold Me Now" and it turned into a literal frickin' novel. I guess we got a little carried away...oops! While this isn't my best work-I must say this has the most heart put into it. Blake and I used it as a form of therapy to work through some of the hardest times in our lives and I think you can really see that throughout the story. I really hope you listened to the music that inspired each chapter as it really helps you to understand where we were coming from at certain points. Again, thank you SO MUCH for sticking with us and for reading the story we worked so hard on. I would LOVE to hear thoughts and comments on the story so PLEASE PLEASE message me on tumblr or simply add a comment at the bottom. 

-Kayla (Partyghoul)

(HeadfirstforIeros on tumblr)

 

Hey all! Seems like we’re at the end of the fic – honestly, I wasn’t sure when this day would come, but it’s pretty good timing. Sorry you guys had to wait so long; things got hectic for both Kayla and I along the way, and since this is Kayla’s account, she was the one to post, and she in particular went through a lot of shit these past few years. Thank you to everyone who read this and supported the fic; this is my first fic published, actually, so it holds a very special place in my heart. I was writing it around the time I was having a fallout with my now ex fiancée, and dealing with major mental issues. It was a coping mechanism, really, and so the emotion still hits me hard to this day. I wrote it for Kayla and myself, but the fact that other people genuinely appreciated it makes me smile on some of my harder days. So thank you; the support means so very much to me. And thank you Kayla, for dealing with my unstable emotions, my tendencies to hurt myself, my constant nagging to update the fic, and my overall unbearable self – you’re a saint for it, and I wish there were a way I could communicate just how much I appreciate you, for everything. You’re one friend I never want to lose.

Hope you guys had as fun of a run with this as I did; feel free to give Kayla or I (or both!) your feedback in the comments, or on tumblr – and follow her while you’re at it, she’s rad!

xxBW (BlakelyWintersfield)

(blakelywintersfield on tumblr as well)


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